The Matsumoto Trilogy: Omnibus Edition

by Sarah K. L. Wilson

  “Even if that’s the case, what are they waiting for now?” Driscoll asked.

  We were all feeling that same nagging feeling that we would be attacked at any moment, and it was leaving our nerves raw and ragged from the need for constant vigilance. No one answered him, but it was the question all of us were asking ourselves. What were they waiting for, and when would they decide to loose the tides and come flooding over us like the surf on the sand? Our next stand would be our last - and willing friends or not we were all each other had. At some time in the next few hours we would likely stand shoulder to shoulder and die together.

  THE SPLITTING: 30

  SUNSET IS A BEAUTIFUL THING on Baldric. Somehow that huge white sun painted the sky in colors that I’d never quite seen before. There were purples that were just too purple to describe and a fuchsia that seared the retinas so I thought it might always be there, just a bit, when I closed my eyes. As last sunsets go, it was definitely a good one.

  We were a black shadow – humorously enough – riding on a black shadow amongst the black outlines of trees against a blazing sky. There was nowhere to hole up for the night. If there were other installations they were not marked on my map, and we had not seen them in the fading light. That was no surprise, as the initial installation we found hadn’t been on my map, but that made our only option to continue onward.

  Rhinric was still holding up, but I didn’t know how long he could go, or if we were riding him into the ground. I felt pity and gratitude for him in equal measures, but I was unwilling to extinguish our one chance by letting him go free without us. Ch’ng had used his typical brilliance to fabricate a net of sorts from what was left of our packs and had tied us all into the net and from there to Rhinric, so that we could take turns sleeping over the next 21 hours. Tonight was bound to be one of the longest I had ever experienced in more ways than one.

  Slowly, my compatriots drifted off to sleep, more from exhaustion than anything else, because the threat around us was still terribly real. In the dark of night, I could only see the landscape as it was outlined by the double moons glowing yellow between the trees. The big one wasn’t visible right now, only the two smaller ones. Shadows were impossible to see in their faint light. My implant showed me the red inverted carets, unfortunately, which were amassing to a horde as we travelled. I didn’t bother to tell anyone that their worst fears were true. Let them imagine there was hope and sleep in peace.

  I examined the scraps of data I’d managed to download from the computer terminal at the colony. There was nothing of value, just scraps of records about the crash of the El Dorado and our journey to the colony, a list of colonists by name and some inventory counts. I laughed when I found Reynold’s helmet cam of me riding Rhinric down the hill to save them all. It looked completely unreal, like it had been fabricated by a PR company. I filed it all away and returned to the task at hand.

  I was still determined to save them all, and Roman, too. Realistically, though, my one and only hope at this point was to see him one more time before the shadows decided whether to turn me into one of them or a pillar of fungus. He had been terribly silent since that one burst and as the hours ticked by I felt a growing dread that I would see him soon, in the ranks of the shadows. I knew beyond a doubt that any being looking at him would see him worthy, so they would certainly add him to their ranks if they could. I imagined endless scenarios that all ended in him standing at attention, cool and distant like Sammy, but at least still in existence somehow. What a terrible world that all you could hope for was a shadow existence.

  I was suffering from oxygen toxicity worse than ever before. The dizzy spells were more frequent, and it occurred to me that my vision, even with the night factored in, was not what it should be. Even if the shadows didn’t kill me, the high oxygen levels might.

  Vera?

  It was Roman. He was still alive. Tension I hadn’t even realized I was experiencing uncurled in my belly and I let out a long exhale.

  You’re alive!

  I knew what I sent was laced with emotion, but I couldn’t help myself. Roman was the only person in the universe that I …loved. It was hard to admit that. Hard to admit because it was true, and since it was true it could hurt. I’d known all along that it would hurt if he was killed or if we were forever apart, but now I knew, too, that it would hurt if he didn’t choose me, or didn’t return my affections. It’s hard to admit that someone might have the power to break you, even if they do. Admitting it, even to myself, made me feel defensive, like I was guarding a wound.

  Sorry about that. We took heavy casualties. They kept us from getting off planet in our shuttles. We’re holed up, down in the El Dorado’s wreckage for the night, but we’re down to half the people we landed with, even though we were in marine battle armour. It’s not looking good.

  Tell me about it.

  Are you in trouble? Where are you?

  I’m here, Roman. I’m on Baldric.

  I felt him start. I guess he hadn’t worked that out..

  You’re here?

  Delight spiralled through his thoughts, and it stabbed me like a double edged knife. On the one hand, I was thrilled to have delighted him. On the other hand I knew it wasn’t the same as my delight to know he was near. It wasn’t me that he loved. And if it was – if he could move on so quickly from his love for his marine – then what was his love worth?

  I’ve been here all along. It was me who sent the message to your ship, but my transmitter went down and they sent you to the El Dorado instead of the colony.

  You. It was you.

  He sounded stunned. And the way he said “you” in his thoughts – like they were caressing me, gave me pleasant little shivers of longing for what wasn’t mine anymore.

  Are you somewhere safe? The natives are extremely dangerous, and very angry.

  We’ve noticed, he said, but he seemed distracted.

  Be careful, ok? I’m coming to you.

  Don’t! Vera, you have to find a place to hide. It’s not safe .

  I wanted to say that I loved him. I wanted to tell him that I felt whole again just knowing that he was on the same world. I stuck with facts, trying desperately to focus on what we were saying.

  It’s not safe to be with them at any time, Roman. Believe me, I know it. I’m with the only other four people alive on this planet.

  All our former closeness had fled like leaves in a stiff wind. With everything that had happened since we last saw each other hanging between us, I couldn’t focus. My emotions were too big. My words hung unsaid in the cool night air.

  I was tired. I was just so tired. Day after day of terror and fear had eroded me down to the bare earth of my emotions. So many nights without proper sleep and days without proper food and I was close to collapse from effort. Now, with Roman here, a huge part of me just wanted to curl up and let him protect me, but I couldn’t do that, could I?

  I had my own fight now. I had my own war not just to finish here, but to start all over again when I left Baldric and brought the dogs of war to Nigel Matsumoto’s doorstep. Besides, he wasn’t my Roman anymore.

  But I am, he said, clear as a dropped glass in a silent room.

  What? I wanted him to say it again and to keep on saying it forever.

  I’m still your Roman, Vera. No length of time could change that. No distance could tear you from my heart. Even death – or what I thought was death - couldn’t make me forget. I dreamed of you. I fought for you in my dreams and daydreams. I’m still every bit your guardian, but not just your guardian. I’m yours, down to the bones, deep to the core.

  But -

  No. No buts. You forgot that I hear all your thoughts, not just the ones you transmit. Did I love Ashlyn?

  I felt his mind stutter a bit over her name. His pain was still fresh.

  Yes, I did. But I still loved you, too. I thought you were dead. I thought I was alone again. She was alone, too, and she was kind and good. But do you think that loving someone else could make
me stop treasuring you? I remember every moment. Every time that you stepped up to do the unthinkable, to do your duty – I remember. That lost girl that you were, alone like me, wrecked like me – I remember. The deep anchoring I felt at your existence – I remember. If you reject me now, I will still remember. But know this, Vera Matsumoto: I am your guardian. No matter where you go I will follow and I will guard you. No matter if you ask me to come or bid me to stay, I will watch your back and keep you from harm. This is my vow, here, and today. Regardless of what you say, I am your guardian and I won’t stop guarding you.

  My heart felt full and heavy like it was ready to burst. Tears filled my eyes, hot and streaming, and they rolled down my face and dripped off my chin. I had to wipe my nose on the back of my sleeve. I was just glad that no one was awake to see it. They would have laughed at the scarred girl with the raggedy hair and the red, swollen eyes. I didn’t know what to say. What do you say to that?

  Thank you.

  I tried to make it as soft and sweet as it would be if I were speaking.

  Do you believe me?

  I believe you, Roman.

  Ok. So now stop with the ridiculous self-pity and self-condemnation and let’s get on task here.

  I think you said something about loving me, I teased.

  And if you stop distracting me and let me figure out a way to find you in person, I’ll show you exactly how much I love you. I’ll kiss every inch of you, and promise to protect you with every kiss.

  My cheeks felt hot. I need to say something before we do that.

  Okay. He sounded a bit less sure of himself.

  I accept your protection.

  The joy he sent my way made me feel hot all over. I had a sudden mental image of those kisses he’d promised.

  Excellent. There was a long pause. Is Ian McIsaac with you?

  So I wasn’t the only one who was jealous. Thoughts of Ian made me sad and angry. It wasn’t right. Nigel would need to know that. In person. From me.

  He died yesterday.

  He didn’t say anything, clearly grappling with something on his end. I hoped it wasn’t relief, but that was hypocritical. After all, I was relieved that Ashlyn wasn’t competing for Roman’s affections. I felt a twinge of sadness for her as well.

  When this is over we’ll mourn our dead together, Roman said, and I felt a surge of gratitude that he knew exactly what I wanted.

  Together, I agreed. But we need to talk business before one of us is attacked again. We are mounted and heading to you. I’m not sure how much longer our mount will last. It’s over rough terrain and he’s carrying five people. Can your implant run a map program?

  Yes.

  Send map location to Roman Aldrin.

  Wow. You’re still pretty far away. Hostiles? he asked.

  All around us in the trees.

  Holy- He was quiet for a minute, and when he spoke again he sounded controlled and careful. Vera, how close are you to being attacked?

  Don’t panic. They’ve been with us all along. They don’t seem to want to attack just yet. They’re waiting for something.

  Do you know what they’re waiting for?

  We think they’re waiting for their leader to arrive. We don’t know anything about her, except that they called her ‘she.’

  Why would they wait?

  They have an honor code. They plan to test us until we die and then absorb us into their group consciousness, or something like that.

  The feeling he gave me felt like an intake of breath.

  I won’t let that happen.

  I felt all warm from that, like he’d put an arm around me, but I couldn’t help myself.

  Actually Roman, I won’t let that happen.

  Then we’re on the same page.

  The sound of insects buzzed in the air and I felt myself spin with dizziness again for a moment, but I pulled myself back together, gripping the webbing net hard. I needed to hang in there at least until I got to Roman.

  You should sleep if you can, Roman. There’s going to be a real fight tomorrow. I’m going to need you at your best.

  For you, Vera, I will fight like a hurricane.

  I grinned at that. It was teasing and sweet all at once.

  Roman?

  Yes?

  I wanted to tell him that I loved him, too. I wanted to, but somehow I was struggling to say the words.

  Sleep well, I managed.

  Stay alive for me, love.

  I kept riding, watching my map and the red inverted carets as I slowly moved southeast, around the river system. The inverted carets grew by multiples as the hours increased. I prayed for dawn. I dreaded dawn. I didn’t think I even wanted to see how dark it would still be when the sun rose.

  THE SPLITTING: 31

  THE STARS ABOVE BALDRIC WERE amazingly clear. As my eyes grew accustomed to the dark I started to notice their milky trail across the Baldric sky. If this world wasn’t constantly trying to kill me I might be tempted to settle here. The climate was reasonable, with proper breathing apparatus it was hospitable, and it really was a gem of beauty. If you are going to take an epic journey with a few brave companions that will most likely end in your death, you should do it in a picturesque place like Baldric. I snorted at my own humor.

  “What’s so funny?” Driscoll asked in a quiet tone from behind me.

  “We’re riding to our likely deaths and I’m enjoying the view.”

  “Well, enjoy it if you can,” he said, “All of life is just a battle towards our eventual deaths. You enjoy the pleasure when it comes and somehow it helps to counterbalance all the pain.”

  “Are you in pain right now?” I asked him.

  “Have you ever been in love, Vera?” he asked.

  “Yes.”

  “I loved a woman a long time ago, and she was taken from me. There is never a day that goes by that I don’t ache over it. Did you lose your love, Vera?”

  “I did. But I have a chance to get him back.”

  “Who was it?”

  “My guardian, Roman Aldrin.”

  “You don’t really want to be with a...guardian,” he spat as he spoke, “do you?”

  “Classism? Coming from you? That’s priceless.”

  “It’s not classism. Believe me. I know all about every class and clique in the Blackwatch Empire. I’m not above mixing with any of them, but guardians…well, they’re just lap dogs, Vera.”

  I laughed with the bittersweet laugh that only comes from a deep sorrow.

  “That’s what Ian always thought, too,” I said. “It’s funny that you know so much about guardians when you hate Matsumotos.”

  “Vera,” he said, with a sigh, “as you get older you will realize that hatred is rarely something you feel towards people you barely know. You must know someone very well to truly hate them.”

  “Like you hate me?” I challenged. “I don’t think you know me very well.”

  “I know more than you’d think,” he muttered, and then let his usual barb of irritation into his voice, “I know all you Matsumotos more than you think. You know the rations you are so worried about consuming here?”

  “The ones with Compound VX-7?” I replied, reminding him that it wasn’t fussiness that prevented me from eating the food.

  “Exactly.”

  “The ones that slowly turn the occupants of this planet into shadows until they lose their souls to a collective consciousness? The soul-sucking rations?”

  “The very ones.”

  “Yes, I am somewhat aware that those exist, Patrick,” I said, irritably.

  “Well then here’s something you probably aren’t aware of,” he said, imitating my snarky tone exactly. “As we speak, Compound VX-7 is being injected into the entire unsuspecting population of the Blackwatch Empire. Have you thought about my suggestion that you take the Empire for yourself?”

  “I have,” I said, coolly. “But I don’t know what that has to do with injecting the population with pharmaceuticals.”

  �
�And what have you decided about the Empire?” he asked, with what sounded like a very exaggerated patience.

  “Are you going to answer my question?”

  “Not until you answer mine,” he said.

  “If I survive the wilderness of Baldric and am victorious, I will seize the Empire from Nigel Matsumoto and take it for myself,” I said, my voice ringing with the bald-faced challenge. If you’re going to risk everything and probably die, why keep anything a secret?

  “Excellent,” he said, and for once he actually sounded pleased.

  “Excellent?!” I said, shocked. “I thought you hated me. How can you relish me as your Emperor.”

  “Not my Emperor,” he said absently, “Never my Emperor, but as the Emperor…yes. That would do just fine. “

  He paused for a moment, and our admissions hung between us as substantial as the shadows that battled us. He continued in a tone so fervent I was almost afraid. Where had this Driscoll come from?

  “I told you that you will need me when you become Emperor, Vera, and you will. I will not only help you ascend the throne, but I will be your hand, doing your bidding in every way. You will be Emperor. I will do everything in my power to make it so. And the thing that you need to know right now, Vera, is that if you are not Emperor within the next six months – if you are not able to put a stop to the Compound VX-7 injections, then all of Blackwatch will be shadows within a year, and your entire Empire will be just like this lovely, dark planet.”

  I sucked in a breath.

  “Impossible.”

  “Really? Impossible? Have you looked around?”

  I swallowed hard. If they could split a world and rend the entire population’s souls from their bodies, then why not an Empire?

  “But why?” I asked.

  “Why Baldric? Why implanted technology in Matsumoto heads? Why the deaths of dozens within your dynasty and countless without? Your Emperor breaks all rules and betrays all loyalties. Even his own. I’m sure that everything started as a worthy goal to improve those around him, but I have been fighting Nigel Matsumoto now for nineteen years, and I can tell you this: things have spiralled out of control, and he will do anything to regain that control. Even things that may have seemed insane to him only a few years ago.”