Trembling with excited nerves, I get off the exit and drive in the direction that leads me back to where I left my heart. I park my car, shuffling to jump out of my jeep and race up the steps to his apartment.
I knock. No answer.
I knock harder. Still silence.
I knock incessantly hoping he hasn’t heard and will open the door any minute now.
Where the hell is he? I want to see him, feel him. I left two hours ago. Where did he go? I sit on the ground, racking my brain to where Parker could be and wait for him to come home. I call him but there’s no answer.
I lean my head on his door and close my eyes. They spring open in awareness. I head back to my car and drive in the direction of the batting cages. There is one place Parker goes to disconnect and clear his mind. I look up the address and put it into my GPS. This is one direction I will follow.
I really hope this is where he is. I won’t know where else to check, and he didn’t mention any plans when I left this morning. Unless someone called him to hang out. I make the final left and pull into the parking lot of the batting cages. There aren’t many cars here, but my suspicions were correct. I see Parker’s pickup parked near the entrance. Suddenly desperate to see him, I race inside and make my way to the cages, ignoring the questioning stares from the staff inside.
I find him swinging and I call out over the swooshing of the balls being spit out from the pitching machine, “Parker!” bending over to catch my breath. I stand to look for him and he’s here. He’s standing in front of me, his eyes heartbroken and confused and his lips twitching in a sad smile, only the wire fence separating us.
“Savannah? What are you doing here?” He drops the bat and comes around and out of the cage he is in.
I sloppily kiss him, not caring who is watching or what questions are drowning his mind. After I’ve gotten my taste of him, I look up into his blue spheres. “I missed you.”
“God, baby, I missed you too, but aren’t you supposed to be half way back to Tuscaloosa?” His confused frown is adorable.
“Yes. I’m obviously not though. I don’t care what I’m supposed to be doing.” His lips capture mine, the warmth of his breath comforting me. He brushes against my lips gently before diving into my mouth and stroking my tongue with determined firmness. He lifts me up, urging my legs around him, and leans me against the fence. Feverish chills overtake my body and I groan into Parker’s mouth. When we finally pull away from each other, our panting breaths make us both laugh.
“What are you trying to say, Savannah?”
“Can we go back to the apartment? I would rather we talk there.”
“You’re not going back to Alabama today?” His grip tightens on my hips, his fingers flexing to release the tension.
“No,” I say, and he sighs heavily, his shoulders relaxing.
His kiss is pleading, asking me not to make false promises and yet demanding more from me. We break away, and I gaze into his eyes. “Come on, babe, take me home.”
After a nerve wracking drive back to Parker’s apartment from the batting cage, I am finally cuddled up next to him on the sofa ready to let it all out.
“I always grew up thinking I wanted to fulfill all my dreams and live my life my way because I learned at a young age how quickly it could all crumble down. I learned how one instant could turn you into worm food. I also learned that you could easily lose the life you love by doing the very thing you enjoy most. That is what happened to my parents. I love my life. I love everything I have worked to accomplish because they are the dreams I had. I never put thought into caring for someone else this deeply, at least not completely. But you, with your smart mouth and mocking humor, taught me what I was missing.
“After I met you, I learned there was more I wanted to add to my dreams. More things I wanted fulfill. You taught me balance and that loving someone this deeply doesn’t have to diminish my other dreams, but emphasizes them instead because now I have you to share them with. If I get back in that car and drive back to Alabama, we both know how that will work out. Neither one of us giving up our dreams, but why should I give up my dream guy? Right now, this is where you can coach. I love my bakery. It is my thing, my proof of my independence and my passion, but I can have that here, too. There’s no point in continuing to follow my path without you, not after I’ve tasted what it feels like with you next to me.”
Parker’s silence pushes my nerves into overdrive, and I continue to babble. “I don’t know exactly what I’m going to do. Maybe I should have talked to you first. I mean, ultimately this depends on–”
His lips cut me off in a deep, urgent kiss, his tongue passionately entering my mouth. I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him to me as I arch my body into his. “You’re going to move here?” He asks when our lips part.
I nod.
“For me?”
I nod again. “For us. I’ve been miserable thinking about the distance between us and it hasn’t even really begun. Imagine when it’s been a month, or two. Imagine when our schedules get so busy that we won’t be able to visit each other for six weeks. I was torturing myself with all of these thoughts, but I’m not ready to let you go either.”
“You won’t ever let go, I won’t let you.” He kisses my lips softly. “I understand what you mean, but we would make it work somehow.”
“Parker, the only way it would work, would be for one of us to follow the other. How the hell do we make our relationship work hundreds of miles apart? Eventually one would need to move or end it. I want you, to feel you and kiss you.” I cup his jaw. “I’ve had my shot at living my dream and I’m fortunate enough that I can have that dream follow me here, but you, you’ve been dealt some shitty cards. This is your second chance at having a career in baseball. You can’t throw that away for me, or anyone else.”
“You’re amazing.” His lips brush against mine timidly at first. Then they grow more confident and mold against my own, expressing all of his emotions through this simple yet intimate action. “So now what?”
“I have no idea. I’ll drive back to Tuscaloosa and talk to Beth. I’m not getting rid of Sweet Delights; it’s my baby. I’ll need to hire someone to manage it and she deserves it. I trust her and I know she would be the perfect person, but I would need to talk to her and make sure she’s up for it.”
“That makes sense.”
“I need to talk to my grandmother, too. That will be a little more difficult.” I think about grandma, wistfully. She is the person who has always been there for me. She raised me to become the woman I am and I don’t want to disappoint her by leaving, or by not following my dreams. Such a fine line in this situation.
“You know I’m here if you need me.” Parker squeezes my thigh. In that moment I think I fall more in love with him.
“I know and I love you for that. I’ll need to look for an apartment. I’m not sure we’re in the point in our relationship to live together.” Parker moves to speak and I cut him off. “Listen to me. If we were back in Tuscaloosa, we would each keep our own homes. That doesn’t mean I don’t love waking up with you more than anything else in the world, but we’re both getting accustomed to a new journey in our lives.”
“Will you at least think about it?” I’m surprised by his honest request.
“We’ll see,” I smile, lovingly. “I love you, but we need the time to grow as a couple and separately.” He nods and pulls me into him, resting my head on his chest. “I don’t want to sell my house, so I think I’m going to list it as a rental.”
“I think that’s a great idea.” I look up at him and his eyes are soft, the blue in them a lighter hue than normal, as he looks at me in awe. “Sorry…I’m not much of a talker right now. I think I’m in shock.” I laugh and agree.
I acted on impulse, but as I speak to him, my mind is working out all the details that I thought would overwhelm me without second guessing myself. It kind of all makes sense, and I realize there are solutions to the loose ends I was afraid of leav
ing untied. There is a way for me to have my cake and eat it too.
“I need to call Beth. I need to tell her I’m not coming back today, but I will need to go back tomorrow. I need to talk with her in person. Then I need to pack and find an apartment. Maybe Em can help with that. Oh! Emily! I should probably tell her, too. Oh man, she’s going to flip.” I laugh into Parker’s chest, suddenly feeling my mind racing.
“I can also help you find an apartment. You can stay here until you do.” He kisses the top of my head, resigned to living in separate dwellings.
“Thank you.” I kiss his chest, right over his heart, and move my way up to his lips.
We spent the rest of yesterday intimately connecting with our bodies until we were satisfied and exhausted. I think Parker is still in shock, and I am excited and nervous. We talked for hours and made plans to go apartment hunting when I get back. I’m not sure how long it will take me to pack, but I’m hoping I can get back to Atlanta in a week so I can spend time with Parker before he leaves for spring training in Florida.
I park at the bakery and take a deep breath. Ready to walk in and talk to Beth, I open the door to Sweet Delights and am hit with the smells of home. The scents of all the baked goods mixed together add to the atmosphere of the bakery. I smile at the familiarity in this space and spot Beth.
“Hey!” I walk over to her.
“Well look what the cat dragged in,” she jokes. “Couldn’t get enough of that hot boyfriend of yours, huh?”
“What can I say? He’s got a hot bod,” I tease in response.
“You’re right about that. How was the trip?”
“Good. Great actually. It was a bit of an eye opener, but I’d rather talk in the kitchen if you’re free.”
“Yeah, give me a sec.” She serves the customer waiting on her and then tells one of my staff to cover the register. I smile as she delegates and know she will be perfect to manage the bakery.
“Okay, spill. You wanted to chat about hot sex, so we needed to come back here, right?”
I laugh and shake my head. “No, sorry, I don’t kiss and tell.” Beth scoffs and sits on a stool.
“You look much happier than when you left. That’s gotta mean something.”
“Thanks…So I looked like crap before?”
“Eh,” she shrugs. “Just a little.”
I laugh and sit next to her. “Okay. Here’s the deal. I had a lot of things to think about this weekend and some time to do it. I was on my way back yesterday, but I turned around. It was on impulse. I realized if I wanted things to work out with Parker, something had to give. I’m moving to Atlanta.” I gauge Beth’s reaction, but her expression is even. “I won’t let him give up his dream and I don’t want long distance with him. It all just made sense while I was driving back. I don’t want to sell Sweet Delights, and I wanted to ask you, before anyone else, if you wanted to manage it.” I wring my fingers together, waiting for her to speak.
“First of all, I am so fucking happy for you! I know you love this place, but you need to follow your heart as well. Second, hell yeah!”
“Of course, I would raise your salary and we’ll discuss the schedule. I can have one of the other girls help you in the early mornings or hire someone to come in early and help you bake. I’ll come as often as I can and check up on everything.”
“I’m down to do this, but you need to promise to enjoy this new adventure.” I agree and we continue to talk. I tell her my plans about opening a bakery in Atlanta and the discussion Parker and I had about our living situation. After some time, Beth went back to the front and I left to meet my grandmother. Beth and I will meet later to discuss the details of this new arrangement and spend some girl time together.
I pull into the driveway at my grandmother’s house and make my way up to the door.
“Hi, grandma,” I greet her when she opens up for me.
“Hey, sweetie. It’s a nice surprise to see you here.” I follow her into the house and we take a seat on the sofa.
“How was your weekend away?”
“Awesome! I was so happy to see Parker. I mean, I know he just left two weeks ago, but I missed him.”
My grandmother smiles at me knowingly. “I’m happy to hear that. He’s a nice man. He’ll make a great husband one day.” I blush and lower my eyes. I have envisioned a future with Parker but I had not thought about labels, and hearing the word husband in relation to me makes my heart skip a beat.
“He will. Anyway, I came over to talk about something. This isn’t easy for me to say.” I pause and search for the right words. Not sure there are words good enough to express how grateful I am for her and how much I love her.
“I am moving to Atlanta.” Just rip it off like a band-aid. “I just need to know this is okay with you. I love you, granny, and I can’t even begin to express how much. You and granddaddy were everything for me when mom and dad passed.” I feel the burning in the back of my throat and take a deep breath, willing my tears to stay put.
“Baby girl, I want you to follow your heart,” my grandmother interrupts and reaches for my hand. “You’ve worked so hard in all aspects of your life and have made me so proud, but you need to find love as well. It’s obvious you’re sweet on Parker and he is the perfect man for you. Your parents and granddaddy would be so proud. I know they smile down every day and admire the woman you’ve become.”
Unable to hold back the tears, I let them fall freely. “That’s your doin’,” I hiccup.
“Come here, sweet pea.” She hugs me to her, her hand stroking my back comforting, and it reminds me of the nights as a little girl when I was so confused about my parents “leaving” and would cry on her lap. “Go after your happiness and chase it wildly. Don’t let the little things in life get in the way of it. This life is too short, and I don’t want to be the reason you are miserable without that boy.”
“Thanks, granny.” I hug her tightly. I know exactly what she means because I don’t want to be the reason Parker is unhappy for not doing what he loves.
“I loved when you called me that as a little girl.” I nod against her chest, knowing she’s thinking of the same memories as me.
My grandmother and I talked over lunch and I told her about my trip in detail. We discussed the bakery I would like to open in Georgia and she gave me some pointers. Seems she knows her way around Atlanta, or used to at least. Caroline must have been wild in her days. Sad that I’m leaving my grandmother behind, I’m determined to move forward and chase this life with Parker.
“Hey, baby,” Parker answers my call.
“Hey!” I settle on my bed, resting my back against the headboard. “I miss you.”
“I miss you, too. You’re meeting with Beth tonight?”
“Yes. She should be getting here soon. My grandmother also had more encouraging words to share today. She really does think you’re a keeper, and I can’t argue with the elder.”
“Smart woman, I knew I liked Caroline. I can’t wait to have you back here.”
“Ha! You just say that because she likes you,” I joke, happy to have this time to chat. “How was your first day with the team?”
“Awesome! Everyone was really welcoming. The other coaches are cool. Most are older and more experienced, which is intimidating, but they didn’t hesitate to take me in and offer their help if I need it. I’ll meet the players tomorrow.”
“I’m so happy for you!”
“When do you think you’ll be coming?”
“I miss you, too,” I say reading into his question. I love that we are both as committed and in tune with each other. I’m really excited about this new phase in our relationship and where it will take us. As wrong as our relationship felt when he was leaving, it feels right now to be with him, even if it means leaving my comfort zone. When I signed up for The Perfect Match I was unsure and doubtful, but I did it to keep a promise. It brought me out of my shell, and helped me focus on something more than work. It also brought me to Parker. Ironic how that happe
ned. When we think our life will go one way, even in the simplicity of dating–okay, maybe it’s not that simple–it always throws us a curve ball, and I thank the universe for throwing Parker my way. “I hope it’s by the weekend.”
“Want me to drive over there and help you?”
“I appreciate it but I’m good. I’m leaving the bigger stuff in the house until I have a place. We can come a weekend after I’ve rented an apartment and pick up the furniture. No sense in selling and buying new stuff over there. Besides, I love everything I have.”
“That sounds perfect.”
“Yeah. As long as you are there waiting for me, I’ll be happy.”
“Where else would I be?” I breathe out contentment and finish our conversation.
When the doorbell rings, I hang up with Parker and open up for Beth. I laugh when I see her holding a bottle of champagne.
“We need to celebrate.”
“That we do.” We settle on the couch.
“Have you started packing? When are you leaving? I’m still so freaking excited for you!”
“Okay…slow down.” We both burst into laughter.
“I have not started packing. I was going to start putting some stuff in boxes before you got here, but Parker called and I got distracted.” Beth raises an eyebrow and I laugh. “Not that kind of distracted.”
“Can’t blame me for thinking it. Phone sex can be hot.”
“TMI. Anyway, I hope to leave this weekend. I’ll still have some things in the house until I rent a place. Parker’s apartment won’t fit his furniture and mine.”
“So let’s talk about the bakery, and then we can pack and drink champagne. I’ll help you.”
“Really?”
“Hell, yeah! You gotta get back out to your man.”
Although I laugh at her enthusiasm, I agree with her. I want to get back to Parker. I made this decision, now I’m ready to live it. Besides, I want to have time to settle in and get our lives going before he leaves for Florida. He’ll be gone six weeks then and it will be hard to be in Atlanta alone. I want our relationship to continue growing while we’re both there.
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