Vow of Atonement

by Emma Renshaw

  Kiernan chuckles again. We can be under enemy fire and this guy will find an excuse to laugh. “You know, you’re the best damn leader I ever served under, in and out of the service. You’re a shit liar, though. Don’t forget my mastery with a keyboard far out scores yours. Erasing internet history doesn’t actually erase your history.”

  Shit. I know that it doesn’t. There are ways of finding information even if a skilled person is trying to cover their tracks. I didn’t think I would need to do that in my own office. “What the hell were you doing on my computer?”

  “I’m left to man the command center too much. It gets a little boring outside of the field. I have to find ways to entertain myself.”

  “Stay out of my office.”

  “Whatever you say, bossman.” His snicker tells me that he’s not going to listen to me.

  “Get back to me with whatever you find. Make it fast.”

  “Aye, aye, captain.” The line clicks before I can yell at him to stop with his shit.

  9

  Harper

  “I have always wondered what it would be like to be close with your father,” Rafael purrs, leaning toward me. I’ve watched him easily slip in and out of his controlled emotions, and I know he’s playing me, but my body doesn’t respond in the way he wants it to. I lean away him, searching his black eyes for some answers. While my body no longer responds to his techniques, I can’t deny he’s the most seductive man I have ever met.

  “My father was amazing. The greatest man I’ve ever known,” I whisper, looking down at my lap. I can’t imagine having a childhood without a father present.

  “What did he do for a living?” His soft tone only adds another element for me to lose myself.

  “He was an accountant,” I answer obediently, meeting his eyes again.

  “Mmm. Good with numbers,” he hums. “And, money.”

  “Yes.” My brain is signaling me to stay cautious, but I’m overwhelmed by the secrets and questions floating through my mind; I answer before I have the chance to completely think through my answers.

  “Did he work at a large firm?”

  “No. He owned his own company, had private clients.”

  “Did you know any of them?”

  “Just Santiago.”

  Our conversation is broken when the waiter pours a mimosa into the glass in front of me. I shake my head, clearing my thoughts. I’m unsure what it is about Rafael that compels me to answer him. I want to believe that if I answer his questions, he’ll answer some of mine, but I know in my heart that isn’t the case.

  I scoot farther away from him in the booth, seriously needing some space between us. Now that the fog he put me in over the past few days has lifted, I’m utterly confused and wary by his line of questioning. He wanted to know what it was like being close to a father, then started asking about my dad’s business. My dad’s business has nothing to do with why I loved him or why we were close. Money. Does he think I have money? I glance at his suit and watch on his wrist before looking around the restaurant. A small snort escapes, thinking that he would need money from me.

  When the waiter walks away, Rafael continues his line of questioning. “Santi—” He stops, clearing his throat. “My father was a client of your father’s?”

  I’m tentative to answer this now. “Why do you want to know about my dad’s business?”

  Rafael raises one shoulder in nonchalance, slowly moving closer to me. I move farther around the circular seat each time he moves closer. He smiles and chuckles. “Don’t want to be too close to me, chiquita?”

  “I don’t think it’s appropriate. You’re my landlord.” I swallow, trying to read his facial features, but his expression is perfectly composed. He’s claiming to want to know me, but he hasn’t asked a single question about me. Sure, my family is part of me, always will be, no matter the years without them. But why is he asking about my dad’s clients? What does that have to do with me?

  “Is that the only reason?” he asks curiously, eyes watching me like a hawk, scanning every part of my face.

  “Yes.” My response almost sounds like a question. I hate the way he’s making me react. Usually I’m more composed and confident. I’ve worked hard to make it appear like I have it all together and I’m ready to take on the world at any time. This confusing, and undeniably dangerous man is completely throwing me off my game. The questions and red flags are popping up too late, and now I’m here in a booth in the corner of a restaurant with this man as my only way home.

  “You do not sound sure that is the only reason.” His hand on the table moves closer to mine, and I clench my hand into a fist and bring it down to my lap.

  Roman appears in my mind. Roman’s eyes filled with heat and desire for me are burned into my brain. I should feel no loyalty to him; we haven’t been a couple in a long time. This morning was the first time I saw him in years and yet if any man asked me out on a date today, I would turn them down because of him. That just pisses me off.

  “It’s the only reason,” I lie, once more, giving him a small, closed smile. My voice sounds more confident, but if he knew me at all, he’d know I wasn’t telling the truth.

  Rafael stays silent for a moment, staring at me before he speaks. “You seem preoccupied today.”

  I close my eyes, pursing my lips and trying to get Roman out of my mind. “I ran into my ex-boyfriend this morning. I think it’s just throwing me for a loop.” I don’t mention the run-in happened in my bed.

  “Your ex-boyfriend?”

  My eyes snap open at his menacing tone. His jaw is clenched and rage is building in his eyes. I look around the booth and the restaurant, confused by his sudden change in demeanor. Even the mentions of his father didn’t bring this much anger. “What is his name?” Rafael seethes.

  I answer without thinking, leaning away from him, pressing my spine into the leather back. “Roman.”

  Rafael’s fist comes down on the table softly enough to not bring attention to our table, but hard enough to rattle the silverware. I move farther away from him and closer to the edge of the booth. He doesn’t miss my action. His fist uncurls before he shoves his trembling hand through his perfectly coiffed hair. This is the first time I’ve seen him having trouble reining in his emotions. He closes his eyes, breathing in and out for a few seconds before opening them again. I use his distraction to slide away even more. A charming smile falls into place and his eyes round in apology.

  “Chiquita,” he murmurs. “I am sorry about my outburst. I find that I am bewitched by you. You have invaded my thoughts since I saw you in your little store. Thoughts of you with another man clearly don’t do good things to me.”

  His words are spoken to be lovely but just part of a game to him. I don’t miss the subtle insult, my little store. I stare at him, trying to figure out what he wants. If I hadn’t noticed his mask, I might have believed his lies that are meant to make me swoon.

  I grab my purse off of the booth and clear my throat. “I’m not feeling all that well. I would like to leave. Now.” I throw as much conviction into the last word as I can.

  “Please don’t let my jealousy interfere with our date.” His hands slide across the table, reaching for my hand clasped tightly around my purse.

  “This isn’t a date,” I insist.

  The rage comes back to his eyes just for a moment before disappearing again. “I could give you more than you can even imagine.”

  I wrinkle my nose, disgusted that he thinks he can buy me. “I’m truly not feeling well. I’ll call for a ride so you can finish your food.”

  Rafael releases an agitated breath. “No. I will take you home.”

  I don’t respond. Instead, I slip out of the booth and walk to the front door, not looking back at him. I don’t know if he needs to wait for the check, or if he will throw cash down on the table, but I’m not going to sit in that booth with him again and risk further hypnosis.

  He’s at my side before I reach the front door, opening it for me
. The valet pulls his car around quickly. Rafael tries to get more conversation out of me during the drive to my apartment, but I don’t really respond. When he pulls up in front of my building, he starts to open his car door, but I stop him.

  “Please. I can go inside by myself. I’m really not feeling well, I’d like to just go in. Please stay here.”

  “I would be happier accompanying you to your door.” He leans toward me, moving my hair off my shoulder and grazing my neck with his fingertips. “I want to see you again.”

  “I’ll call you,” I say before rushing out of the car and into my building, letting the latch and lock close behind me. When I get inside my apartment, I lean against the door, closing my eyes and breathing deeply. This is all too much for one day, and it’s only lunchtime.

  “Hey, Sugar.”

  10

  Roman

  The door to Harper’s apartment opens. Finally. She’s back. I haven’t been waiting long, but it feels like forever. I drove by her store first, and she wasn’t there, so I assumed she would be home. When I let myself in and she wasn’t here, I decided I’d stay until she was.

  When I walk out to her living room, she’s leaning against her front door looking exhausted. “Hey, Sugar.”

  Her eyes snap open and her mouth falls in surprise. I walk toward her, ready for her to replace the stench from the motel. “What are you doing here?” she snaps.

  “Came to talk some more.” I don’t stop walking until I’m in her space. “Where were you?”

  “I had brunch with Rafael. I wanted more answers.” She shrugs as if this isn’t a big deal.

  A growl starts low in my chest. She’s got to be shitting me. “Come again?”

  Harper tries using all her strength to push me backward, but I don’t move.

  “Nah, Sugar. Tell me you’re joking, then I’ll move.”

  Her head falls against the door, and she rolls her eyes. “I’m not joking, now please move.”

  “I told you not to go near him.” I can’t stop the frustration in my tone.

  “You’re my keeper now?” She shoves at my chest again, but I don’t budge.

  “Why did you have lunch with him?”

  “Brunch, not lunch. I wanted answers.”

  I step back from her, about to demand that she not see him again. But she must read it on my face because she beats me to speaking. “I’ve already dealt with you this morning and then Rafael’s anger at brunch. I can’t do this right now. Just leave, Roman.”

  That stops me cold in my tracks. Rafael’s anger. What the fuck does that mean? She is not seeing him again. My voice is rough and demanding when I croak my next words. “Tell me everything.”

  She sighs as she walks around me toward the couch. I sit close to her but give her enough room, so she won’t argue with me and will get on with her story.

  “He stopped by not long after you left this morning. I actually thought it was you coming back. Should’ve known better.” She shakes her head, looking at the ceiling. “You wouldn’t have knocked.”

  “How does he know where you live?”

  Harper opens her mouth and closes it again, like she hadn’t even thought of that. “I—I don’t know. I guess he saw my address on my lease agreement.” Her head falls against her palm as she groans.

  “Don’t think he’s supposed to take it to make a personal call.” I need her to see that he’s a potential threat and she shouldn’t be anywhere near him.

  “God, I’m such an idiot.” Harper’s voice breaks, as tears swim in her eyes. She leans forward, doubled over, tapping her fingers against her forehead. I edge closer, trying to bring her to me, but she resists. I bite my tongue instead of demanding she let me hold her. Instead, I rub her back in soft circles.

  “You’re not an idiot. It’s probably my fault, my good looks invaded your mind. You were probably too preoccupied thinking what it will be like when I’m inside you again.”

  I can’t make out her next words, but she doesn’t laugh like I hope she will. They’re too muffled through her quiet tears and hands. I try again.

  “What? I can’t hear you.”

  She pops up with tears still falling down her face. Her beautiful face is red and angry. “Yes, I am! My best friend got kidnapped by a psycho and almost died, and here I am not even thinking how he knew where I lived.”

  Clearly, I didn’t do enough digging in Harper’s life. “What?”

  She waves me off before wiping her eyes and taking a deep, settling breath. “Nothing. Long story.”

  I remind myself that I will find out what happened with that later. If Harper has other threats in her life, I’m going to know about them. Not going to be so casual with my searches. Everyone in her life is going to have their rock overturned. When I’m done, I’ll know every skeleton they’re trying to hide.

  “Anyway,” Harper starts, already back to her composed self, not a trace of the flush that stained her angry face just a minute before. “He showed up, asking to take me to brunch. I agreed. I wanted to know more. I need to know more.”

  “You shouldn’t have gone with him.”

  Harper rolls her eyes. “You don’t have the right to dictate anything in my life, Roman.”

  I grumble, leaning toward her about to say that she’ll always be my business and I have never lost the right to know something about her. I don’t care about the years between us.

  She beats me to it before I can voice any of this, continuing with her story. “Rafael has this frustrating way of hypnotizing me when he’s near me.” Stopping the growl that erupts from my chest would be next to impossible. I hate his name on her lips or thinking of anyone near her.

  Harper shakes her head, biting her lip and staring at the blank TV screen, running a frustrated hand through her hair. She sighs before speaking again. “He kept asking me questions about my dad and the relationship I had with him. It was weird. His questions weren’t normal getting-to-know-you conversations, he wanted to know about his business and if Santiago was a client of his.”

  “Did you tell him?” The potential outcomes start racing through my mind.

  “Yes.” She turns her guilty face down to look at her hands fiddling in her lap.

  I pinch the bridge of my nose, reining in my anger. “Harper.” Her name comes out of my mouth drenched in annoyance. She’s always been too open, too trusting. I love her easy way of being around people but hate that she can’t see the potential danger.

  “I know, okay? I get it.” She pops up from the couch standing in front of me with an arm crossed over her stomach and the other waving wildly as she speaks. “You’ve always told me not tell personal information to complete strangers. Here’s something you don’t get, though. I don’t think like you do. I’m not scared something is out to get me at every turn. Sure, I’m careful after everything with Savannah but still, I’m not someone who can go around not trusting a soul. I want to believe people are good and honest.”

  I stand, placing myself right in front of her, bringing my hands to her shoulders so she stops moving and fidgeting. “You know damn well I love those things about you.”

  She steps out of my grasp, holding up a finger. “Don’t you dare say that word near me. Don’t you fucking dare.” Her eyes fill with tears, but not a single one falls to her red cheeks.

  I hold up my hands in surrender. “I know you trust people, Harper, but we don’t know his motives.” I try to restrain the frustration from my words.

  “Don’t you think I get that? I called you, remember? Rafael just has this way of taking my guard down and before realizing it, I tell him too much information. I started to question him about Santiago and he got a little upset. It wasn’t until I brought you up though that he really got angry.”

  “Me?” I ask.

  “I said something about you, and he kind of went a little crazy. I swear, I can watch him put on a mask and compose his emotions perfectly. It’s when it slips that it gets scary. Being there with him in a booth
when I saw the absolute fury enter his eyes scared me, so I got out of there.”

  “Did you ask why he got upset?” I sit back down on the couch, pulling on Harper’s hand until she lands next to me. I tug her into my side, not releasing her until she stops resisting. Harper groans but she relaxes into my side. A victorious smile crosses my face.

  “He said he was jealous. It felt like more than that, though. He was angry when I mentioned you. That reaction seems a little extreme for someone he’s met only a couple of times.”

  I don’t bother mentioning I was jealous of every person who spoke to Harper when I first laid eyes on her. Harper’s head lands against my chest as she stifles a yawn. “Get some rest. We’ll talk later,” I whisper. Harper likes to sleep after anything emotional. Every time we fought, I’d find her napping when I came to apologize. She nods and tries to get up. I tighten my arm around her and we fall to the side until we’re lying on the couch with her between me and the cushion. Covering her mouth when she starts to protest, I hug her tighter and nuzzle her neck, breathing her in. After she stops resisting, I take my hand away from her mouth.

  “If I weren’t so tired,” she hisses. “This would not be happening.”

  I chuckle, knowing nothing would keep this from happening.

  11

  Harper

  I wake up, curled into Roman’s chest. I must have fallen asleep while we were circled on the couch. I allow myself to relish in his warmth for a few seconds before trying to get up and facing the reality that we are not together. This is not the past, and we can’t cuddle or fall asleep together.

  “Where are you going?” Roman’s deep voice rumbles next to my ear.

  “I’m getting up.” I try to pull away from him again.

  “Why?” His hand comes to my cheek, making me face him. Our lips are so close, I can feel his breath when he whispers his next word. “Stay.”