Vow of Atonement

by Emma Renshaw

  Did my dad know Santiago was a leader of a cartel group? A cartel group that deals drugs. I don’t even know what kind of drugs. James said the typical south-of-the-border stuff, I don’t even know what that means. Everything I know about cartels is from the news or movies. I can’t associate that with my beloved uncle. A man who was my second father. I lived with him after my family passed. I was so lost in grief when I lived with him, could I have missed something? Not realized he was a bad man? He was the only family I had left. He cried when I walked across the stage at my graduation. How can that man be evil?

  I can’t imagine my dad knew. He got out of the system, joined the navy, and got his master’s degree in accounting. He married the only woman he ever loved, my mother. Could he have known? How did my uncle hide this? Memories are passing through my head so quickly, I can’t grasp onto any of them. Are there signs I should have seen? I don’t think there’s a pamphlet for this, is there? 10 Ways To Know If Your Loved One Is In The Cartel.

  “Sweetheart,” Roman whispers, pulling me tighter against his chest. “No, I don’t think he knew. Your dad was the greatest man I’ve ever known. He loved you so much, Harper. He’d never let you be around someone so dangerous if he knew.”

  “I don’t know how to feel. My uncle was not dangerous. Santiago’s the only reason you and I even met. Are there nice cartel members?”

  Roman chuckles. I know that’s an absurd question. It’s not like the cartel is known for being Boy Scouts. “Maybe we have it all wrong. This can’t be true.”

  “Fuck,” Roman hisses, bringing his head down on top of mine. He releases a shuttering breath, and I know he’s having as much trouble processing everything as I am. I can’t believe I didn’t realize sooner that Rafael took over for his father. Roman understood from the beginning. I close my eyes as pain spreads through my heart. I can’t imagine the thoughts Roman has been ruminating over since he found out.

  “Your dad was the greatest man I ever knew, but Santiago was the second. Both of them saved me. I owe my entire fucking life to them. I still don’t understand why Santiago did the things he did for me.”

  “He loved to help people,” I whispered. “He and my dad hated when they saw a kid with a life that reminded them too much of their own.”

  “There are too many kids like that where I grew up. I questioned every day why Santiago took me under his wing and paid for me to go to that damn private school. I almost left so many times and told him to fuck off, but then I saw you.”

  Warmth fills me at his words. I knew Uncle Santiago was paying for a kid to go to my school, but I didn’t know who it was. When Roman and I met, we didn’t know we had that connection.

  “I couldn’t leave or deny him after I saw you. I did everything he asked of me, made sure I met his expectations. No way in hell was I leaving you after I saw you.”

  I lift my head from his chest, staring into his dark eyes. So many girls fall over themselves for blue or green eyes. They don’t know the magnificence of Roman’s eyes. They’re so dark in color, they almost look back, but lighter browns and gold flecks make them shine and stand out against his tan skin.

  “Me arruinas,” Roman breathes. “You ruin me.”

  A soft moan escapes my lips when I hear his words. He usually only brings out his Spanish when we’re making love. I’m like Pavlov’s dog when he speaks Spanish. My core ignites as my breathing speeds up and my heart races.

  A small smirk appears on his handsome face—he knows exactly what he’s doing to me. He leans in, his lips beginning a trail at the edge of my lips. I gasp as a shiver runs down my spine at the barest contact of our lips. I need him to press his lips against mine. He denies me when I try to turn my head to make contact. His hand is in my hair, holding me where he wants me as his lips trail to my ear.

  “He extrañado tu sabor. Me muero por tenerlo de nuevo en mi lengua con tus muslos temblando alrededor de mi cabeza. I’ve missed your taste. I’m dying to have it on my tongue again with your thighs shaking around my head.”

  Whimpering, my hands slide into his hair as he lays soft kisses below my hair along my neck, murmuring in Spanish.

  He hasn’t even kissed me yet and my panties are soaked. It’s always been this way with him. My body is ready at the first moment of contact. “Roman,” I breathe as his tongue trails along my neck.

  He brings his head up, staring into my eyes, our lips hovering just out of reach from each other. His eyes are moving all over my face before settling on my lips. He crushes his mouth down on mine, finally, finally, making contact. When my mouth opens on a gasp, he sweeps his tongue inside. Roman’s kiss starts a wildfire inside my body. I’m burning up from his touch, but I never want it to stop.

  Roman leans into me, pushing me back on the couch until he settles on top of me between my open legs without breaking our searing kiss. I need more. We’ve been only kissing for a week, but I need more of his touch, his tongue, his everything. I’m completely breathless when his breaks to kiss down my neck as I’m frantically pulling his shirt. Roman leans back on his knees, grabbing the collar of his shirt behind his head and rips it off. My hands move to the taut muscles of his chest. His chest has always been my weakness—now that he’s older, though, it will be my undoing. My thighs clench around his narrow hips, making his hips buck, rubbing his hard length against me. Craving even more of him, my nails dig into his chest and slowly rake down his abs. A feral growl erupts from the back of his throat, pulling the straps of my dress from my shoulders, leaving my top half in nothing but a lacy, red bra.

  “Fuck. Yes,” Roman moans, bringing his hands to my breasts and rolling my nipples between his fingers through the lace. “You wear red just for me, Sugar, don’t you? Have you worn red for another man?”

  My eyes leave his glorious chest, meeting his. His eyes are hooded, staring down at my body with pure lust. A rush of desire floods my core. “Never,” I breathe, arching my back for more of his touch. “I only wear red for you.”

  A deep rumble starts in Roman’s chest. I can feel the vibrations beneath my palm before his crashes down on top of me, sealing his mouth to mine. One of his hands reaches back, skimming up my leg along the outside of my thigh, making me tremble in anticipation. When his hand reaches my thong, his thumb brushes along the top, making me shiver. I lift my hips, urging him on, and each lift is met with his hard dick rubbing against my center. It’s almost too much to handle, even through all of these layers.

  Roman’s fingers brush my panties aside, skimming along my slit before pushing one finger inside of me. “Christ,” he mutters, bringing his head to the crook of my neck and kissing it. “I’ve barely touched you and it’s better than every fantasy I’ve had about you for the last ten years.”

  I release a long moan, raising my hips, silently begging him to move his finger. He doesn’t disappoint. One, thick, long finger moves in and out of me, brushing along my g-spot, teasing me, bringing me impossibly close to the edge without sending me off. Roman’s thumb lightly circles my clit, but doesn’t give enough pressure to give me the orgasm I’ve been waiting for. I’ve been with men since he left, but being underneath Roman right now feels like I haven’t had a release in ten years.

  “Please,” I breathe, not even a little ashamed I’m at the point of begging.

  “Not yet, Sugar. I want you to fall apart on my tongue. Nada es más dulce que tú. Nothing is sweeter than you.”

  Roman slowly kisses down my body, stopping to suck my nipple. He rolls his tongue over the peak through the lace, never stopping his incredibly soft touch between my thighs, leaving me panting at edge of a release. “Take it off,” Roman demands, not moving his mouth from my chest.

  I reach behind me, pop open the clasp of my bra, and Roman lifts his head just enough to allow the fabric to be removed. He starts sucking and kissing my nipple again as I arch for him, begging for more. I feel insane with desire when he denies me, moving his lips to my stomach, pushing my dress farther down my body
. I whimper uncontrollably when he removes his hand from my center to pull the dress off my body, and my panties follow right behind it. Roman is on his knees staring down at me, completely naked. He still has his pants on, and I reach for the buckle of belt, but he stops me with a hand over mine, rubbing his thumb along my skin.

  “Just you, Sugar,” he says softly, shaking his head.

  I bite my lip, looking at his pants. I can see his hard cock straining through the material. “At least take off your pants, that looks like it hurts,” I say, rubbing my hand over his erection.

  He groans, closing his eyes and rocking his hips into my hand for moment before laying his hand over mine, stopping me again. “If my pants come off, there’s no way in hell I won’t sink into your wet pussy.”

  Licking my lips, I stare up at him, spreading my legs a little more. “That’s what I want.”

  “Fuck,” he mutters. “You’re killing me. Not tonight, Sugar.”

  He leans down, hovering over me again and kissing my lips softly, running his tongue over them for me to open. When I do, his tongue clashes with mine for a soul-searing kiss. His lips trail down my body, and he settles between my thighs. I tremble with anticipation as he looks up and orders, “Play with your nipple. Yeah, like that, Sugar.”

  His lips are so close to my clit that I feel them brush against me each time he breathes. Roman kisses the inside of my thighs, slowly making his way back to my center where he lightly traces a finger along me. “I love seeing you quiver,” he murmurs before his tongue sweeps along my pussy.

  After the first, slow lick, he devours me like a starved man. His arms wrap around my legs, holding me in my place, slightly lifting me closer to his face as he sucks my clit into his mouth. Removing one hand from my leg, he sinks two fingers inside of me, curling them, hitting the perfect spot. My eyes roll back in my head. I buck off the couch when he removes his wet fingers, circling them over my clit and sinking his tongue inside of me. His groan sends me over the edge as I call out his name in pure ecstasy.

  24

  Roman

  “Come to the gym with me,” I whisper in Harper’s ear, sucking her lobe into my mouth.

  Harper groans, trying to wiggle away from me but ends up just grinding against my dick. I’ve been sleeping in her bed for a week, each night fooling around but never taking it too far. She keeps insisting we’re keeping feelings out of this little fling, but my feelings for her are as strong as they were a decade ago. There’s no way to keep this strictly physical. I’m going to make damn sure she feels something for me before I bury myself inside of her and fuck her into oblivion.

  “Wake up, let’s go to the gym.”

  “Roman,” she mutters, her face still jammed into her pillow. “It’s my day off. My only day off this week. You and your tongue have been keeping me up all night. I want to sleep.”

  “I can wake you up with my tongue,” I say against her skin, rocking my hard dick into her ass.

  I hear the smile in her voice when she answers. “Tempting. Keep talking.”

  My hand sweeps her hair from her neck and shoulder. I lay my lips right in the sweet spot that always makes her shiver and sigh as I pull down her tank top, exposing her breasts. She moans softly into the pillow, reaching behind her to wrap her hand around my length, slowly jacking me off.

  My hand slides down from her breast to her pussy, already wet for me. I bite her shoulder as I groan, dipping my fingers inside of her. “Remember when I made you scream last night?”

  “Yes,” she breathes, rocking herself on my fingers, trying to reach the edge faster.

  “I want to do that all day,” I say, kissing her neck, sucking the skin just below her ear and rocking my hips faster in her silky palm. It’s going to kill me to do this, but I love working her up, leaving her wanting until later. When she’s denied that instant gratification, her orgasms explode through her body, making her quake and shiver all over. “I really do. I want to make you scream my name over and over all day,” I repeat, slipping my fingers out of her. “But first, we go to the gym.”

  Harper growls, flipping over and staring me. “Not fair.”

  “Just think how good it will feel when your muscles are tired and I make you come until you pass out.”

  Harper sits up and straddles me, leaning down to kiss me lightly on the lips. “Fine, but first, just one thing.”

  I cup her cheek, unable to deny her anything when she looks at me like this. “Anything, Sugar.”

  She kisses my lips one more time before getting on her knees to slide her panties down her legs, straddling me once more, but facing the opposite way. The view in front of my face is making me pant. Fuck. She’s good. “Ask me what I want, Roman.”

  I tear my eyes away from her slick pussy, looking into her eyes filled with heat. “What you do you want, Sugar?”

  “Just one tiny orgasm before we go,” she says, tucking her hand into my briefs and pulling out my hard cock. When her mouth sinks down on me, I grab her hips until her pussy is over my face.

  “I don’t know how I’m going to run,” Harper says as we walk into Raise the Bar. “My legs are like jelly.”

  I smirk, feeling smug and like I’m ten feet tall. It’s me who makes her legs shake and her pussy wet.

  Harper tries to bring me back down to Earth when she opens her mouth again. “Don’t look so smug. It’s just been awhile since I’ve been with anyone. Any guy could give me an orgasm to make me feel this way.”

  She walks away, leaving me behind watching her go. She can say all she wants, but I know the truth. It’s us. Together. We’re what makes it different and so damn good. Besides, no other man is ever going to come close to touching her again. I watch Harper walk over to the treadmills and wait until she’s started to head over to the bags.

  Liam and Savannah are in the boxing ring with James on the side, calling out commands to Savannah. I’m surprised by her ability to pound the shit out of the pads with precise punches and kicks. I never would have guessed her small frame could harness that much power.

  “Marx,” Keirnan says coming up beside me. I haven’t seen him in a few days but he takes one look at my face and instantly knows that I’m pissed. I’ve been avoiding his calls.

  “Fuck off,” I growl. Kiernan steps in between me and the punching bag, I have time to stop my punch, but I choose not to. My gloved fist lands solidly against his abdomen.

  “Fuck,” he grunts clutching his stomach. “What the hell is going on with you? You’ve been dodging me for days. I’m here to help you, idiot.”

  “You’re the reason Harper and I aren’t together,” I spit out. I know deep down that it’s not his fault, but right now, I can’t make myself think rationally.

  “What?” He asks, taken aback.

  “Ten years ago, she came after me. Harper fucking came for me, man. The day her family died one of your girls, wearing my shirt, answered the door and said some nasty shit to her.”

  Kiernan blinks staring at me, his mouth opening and closing, searching for something to say.

  “Who was she?” I demand, punctuating each of my words with a fist in his chest. My hits aren’t hard enough to hurt, just to make my point that I’m fuckin’ serious. I want to know who she is. I have half a mind to track her down, even if it’s a decade later.

  “It’s been a decade,” Kiernan says slowly. “I have no clue who you’re talking about.”

  “Ten years ago. March fifteenth,” I say.

  “Yeah,” Kiernan says sarcastically rolling his eyes. “I know every woman I’ve ever slept with by the date and can remember it a decade later.”

  “Why would one of your hook ups be wearing my shirt?”

  “Fuck if I know, Roman,” Kiernan says. “You can’t put this shit on me. I’ve wanted you to go after her since you stupidly broke up with her. In fact, I told you not to do it.”

  We stare at each other, both of us now pissed. It’s true, he did tell me that. He’s told me to pull my hea
d out of my ass since I ended things with Harper but it doesn’t keep me from wanting to pin this on him. His one-night stand hurt Harper. I don’t know who she is, but Kiernan is here and he can stand in for her sins.

  A light sparks in Kiernan eyes as he gasps. “Oh shit,” he says slowly.

  “What?” I growl, still frustrated.

  “Remember Arden? That girl that was obsessed with you?”

  I think back, running that name through my mind. “The girl that slept with you because she thought it would make me jealous even though I didn’t know her name?”

  “Got it in one,” Kiernan replies nodding his head slowly with his eyes wide.

  “Her?” I ask.

  “Yeah,” he says looking down at the ground, rubbing the back of his neck. He releases a frustrated breath before biting out a curse. “Fuck.”

  Kiernan’s head slowly rises. “I remember her,” I say.

  “She was a bitch, had a nasty streak, and was fucking crazy. It had to be her.”

  “Know where she is?”

  Kiernan snorts. “Didn’t exactly want to keep in touch after she tried to seduce you and told me she only wanted me for my roommate. What’d she do?”

  “Damn,” I mutter before relaying the entire story to Kiernan.

  “Fuckin’ psycho bitch. For what it’s worth, Rome, I’m sorry that she fucked things up. If I’d known Harper was there, I wouldn’t have let her leave until you saw her.”

  “Not your fault,” I say, knowing he’s not lying. My lips twitch imagining him restraining Harper, forcing her to stay in our old apartment until I arrived. Kiernan would have done it, too. Crazy ass.

  “I really am sorry, man. I wish I never would have brought that girl to our place.”