Vow of Atonement

by Emma Renshaw

  Fuck this. She’s not going to do this. A plan forms in my mind as I pull on my clothes, not taking my eyes off of her. No more of this no feelings bullshit. I’m done playing it safe. It’s time to make her realize she’s mine. Always has been, always will be.

  Purposefully striding toward her, I grab her hands and yank her off the couch into my chest, framing her gorgeous face. Her eyes round in surprise as a tiny gasp leaves her lips the second before I slam my lips down on her in a bruising kiss. Mine. My mind chants her name every blissful second our lips are locked together.

  When I break the kiss, I’m still cupping her face in my hands and I demand one thing. If she gives this to me, I can make her see we belong together. I was a stupid kid when I let her go. As a man, I’d never make that mistake again.

  “Give me tonight.”

  Tension hangs in the air, neither of us breathing—only staring at each other. I don’t have to expand on what I mean. She gets it. She knows. My heart stalls waiting for her answer—each silent second that passes, lead starts to fill my gut. I’m worried I’ve lost before I’ve even begun to play.

  With one word, she sets my world right.

  “Okay.”

  We’ve been attached at the hip since I rolled into town almost two months ago, but she needs to see me as her man. The only way I can think to do that is by taking her out on a real date. It will almost be our first real date. Dating as a teenager isn’t really dating. I’m going to get every detail about her I missed over the past ten years, and she’s going to learn that I’m not the boy who left her, who made the mistake of deciding her life path.

  My head swivels back and forth, checking the hallway before I allow her to walk out. We take the stairs down to the parking garage, and I stop in my tracks, remembering the one thing that won’t make tonight perfect. “Fuck,” I mutter. I’m going to be taking my girl out in a minivan. A fucking minivan.

  “Get in,” I say, opening the passenger door and ignoring Harper’s smirking face. “I’ll grab the bags.”

  It takes me two trips to carry all of Harper’s things and load them in the back. When I get behind the wheel, Harper bursts out laughing. She’s folded over with her hands covering her face, laughing so hard, she’s on the verge of not breathing.

  “Don’t get used to this. When we have kids, we are not getting a fucking minivan. Fucking Kiernan.”

  Her laughter immediately stops as she looks at me, startled.

  “You said you’d give me tonight. I’m not holding anything back today. If tonight is all I get, I’m leaving it all out on the table.”

  Her neck moves as she swallows, watching me with wide eyes as I back the van out of its space. My grin is so wide, nothing could break it. Not even when she snaps a picture of me driving this monstrosity.

  I continue to check the rearview mirror to make sure we aren’t being followed as I take a longer route than necessary heading toward Liam and Savannah’s house.

  Liam and Savannah aren’t there when we arrive, but Harper has a spare key. Harper gives me a tour, showing me where to leave our bags. When we walk into the kitchen, she groans, picking up a card in front of a bottle of champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries.

  Have fun playing house!

  Love,

  Savannah and Liam

  P.S. Let him in, Harp!

  I read the card over her shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “Have I told you how much I like your friends?”

  “They suck,” Harper says, taking a bite out a chocolate-covered strawberry and leaving a tiny smear of chocolate next to her lip. “They have good taste, though.” She picks up the champagne bottle and checks out the label.

  I move closer to her, craning my neck to suck the space next to her lips and lick the chocolate off. She gasps, brings her hand down on the counter and curling it around the edge. Her head comes back, resting against my shoulder.

  “Delicious,” I murmur against her skin before kissing her lips. I break the kiss, grabbing her hips until her ass meets the thick outline of my hard cock. “I can’t wait for tonight. Wear something that will blow me away.”

  She stands there stunned when I walk away to find the office to set up my gear. My plan is to comb through every employee file I have on record and find one that links to Harper’s family.

  Kiernan is planning to keep Dawson busy—so busy, that he won’t find it weird that he hasn’t met Harper. Until I can clear him, he’s isn’t going to be near her. Kiernan and I are forming our plan to eliminate each man from suspicion while Harper is at the store. James needs to meet Dawson; I trust his instincts. But tomorrow he’ll be with Harper while I’m with Dawson and Kiernan running through our clients.

  Ice clinks in my glass as I swirl the whiskey. I’ve been sitting at the bar, staring at the bedroom for the last half hour, waiting for Harper to be ready. My body is humming with determination to make tonight go my way. She’s not going to know what hit her, and by the end of the night, she’ll be over this fling bullshit.

  Texas. Tennessee. I don’t give a damn, as long as she’s there. If I can’t expand my company, I’ll sell it tomorrow and find something else to do. None of it matters without Harper. When I laid eyes on her again after all these years, I had the same reaction I did the first time. Complete and utter shock, loss of words, skipping heartbeat. Everything I am flipped on a dime because of her.

  I couldn’t even see her face when I walked into her room two months ago, just a lump under the covers with blonde hair spilling on a pillow—and her sugary sweet scent ruined me for the second time in my life.

  Now the door opens and she destroys me all over again. I clear my throat, trying to find my voice as she walks toward me. Fumbling like a teenager, I try to grab the flowers sitting behind me and hand them to her, but I fail. The whiskey glass is knocked to the floor and glass shatters. I don’t acknowledge it, don’t take my eyes off the woman standing in front me.

  She sucks in a breath. “It broke. Be careful.”

  Ignoring her warning, I walk toward her, the glass crunching under my shoes. “I’ll replace it.”

  My eyes scan her from head to toe over and over, taking in every detail of the short red dress. The straps on her tan shoulders are so thin and delicate. The top cuts into a low v, exposing her ample cleavage, with a bow in the center. There’s a cutout beneath her breasts, showcasing her soft skin. And the skirt is so short, she’ll be teasing me all night.

  “Does this untie?” My voice is thick with desire as I trail a finger down her breast to the bow between her cleavage. Her nipples pucker beneath the fabric, making me hard as steel.

  “Yes,” she answers breathlessly. “Not out here, though. Liam and Savannah have cameras all over the house, except bedrooms and bathrooms.”

  “I know. They’re not watching the footage, though.”

  Harper raises an eyebrow and tugs on the string of the bow, revealing her breasts as the material falls to the side. She moans when I lick my lips and roll one stiff peak with my fingers. My mouth latches onto the other, tugging lightly with my teeth. “I’ll be thinking about this all night. I’m only allowing myself a small taste.”

  She runs her fingers through my hair, keeping my mouth at her nipple. “Just a little taste,” she says, moving her hand down her body before it disappears beneath the skirt. I groan, tugging on her harder and relentlessly. Harper swipes a glistening finger over her nipple. “Just one little taste,” she says softly. I switch to her other nipple, licking her wetness from her skin. My dick is pulsing beneath my pants. I squeeze it hard before standing up and tying the bow for Harper again.

  “I decided something,” she says, running her hands along my shoulders.

  “What’s that, baby?”

  “You said you aren’t holding back, neither am I. Everything I want to say or do, I’m going to. If we only have tonight, I’m leaving it on the table, too.”

  My hand fists in her silky hair, bringing her mouth to mine. “This is the wa
y it should have been every day for the past decade. I’ll spend the rest of my life atoning for my mistakes.”

  She doesn’t respond, but her glassy eyes and fierce kiss tell me everything I need to know.

  33

  Harper

  Roman opens the car door for me, helping me step inside. “If I didn’t have serious trust issues right now, I’d call a car to take us to dinner.”

  I laugh. “I think it makes a great story. First date in ten years with a badass army man and you take me out in a minivan.”

  “Great story for the kids?” he asks, winking.

  Roman wasn’t kidding about not holding back. That’s the second time he’s brought up future kids. It’s something we used to talk about a lot. Even as teenagers, we knew we wanted a big family. Roman didn’t have anyone growing up—he had to start taking care of his mom from a young age. He often lived without power and had to stretch food as long as it would last, if he got anything at all.

  It’s been a dream of his to raise a family of his own and do it right, give his kids the opportunities and love he never had. I’m almost surprised he didn’t find someone in these ten years and start a family. It would have killed me if I ever learned of him having a child with another woman.

  I didn’t know how to act after this morning in the hotel room. He healed my broken heart. That only gives him more opportunity to break it again. I don’t know where we’ll go from here, but my feelings are too strong to stuff back into the box. Every touch sends electricity racing along my skin. Every look sends my heart galloping and stomach somersaulting. Every sweet promise pushes me closer to handing him my heart and never looking back.

  I couldn’t deny Roman this night when I wanted it just as badly. Having a real, grownup date with him is something we never had the opportunity to do. Tonight, in my mind, we’re a couple. A couple with a future. A couple so undeniably in love, others want to be close just to capture some of the magic. Tomorrow could bring me misery, but tonight I’ll pretend this is the life we should have had.

  The valet’s lips twitch when they watch tall and muscular Roman fold himself out of the minivan. He grumbles as he hands over the keys—but smiles when he takes my hand. He stops me just in front of the doors and spins me toward him, brushing hair from my face.

  “My girl is the most beautiful girl in the world,” he says before a sweet kiss lands on my lips. “Let’s finally have a proper date.”

  We’re seated in a circular booth, giving us the illusion of privacy. We scoot all the way in, sitting right next to each other with our bodies touching. His hand lands on my thigh, rubbing up and down my skin.

  “If you keep doing that,” I whisper in his ear, teasing the shell with my tongue. “I’ll leave a wet spot on the seat. I’m not wearing panties.”

  A quiet groan escapes his lips, and his hand clenches around my thigh. After a moment, his hand drags up my inner thigh, running a single finger along my slit before moving inside of me. I gasp, clutching the table in front of me. I try to compose myself as the waiter appears to fill the water glasses.

  “Your best red,” Roman requests, his voice undeniably husky and turned on, his fingers still inside me.

  The waiter nods before walking away. Before I can reach an orgasm, Roman slides his finger out, bringing it to his lips and sucking the tip. “Just wanted another little taste.” A shiver run up my spine at his wink. He leans in, kissing me and running his tongue along mine. He breaks the kiss and whispers against my neck. “Later.”

  I take a large drink of water, calming my nerves and cooling down my body. The passion between us is off the charts. I can’t keep my hands off of him, and after this morning, the intense connection we shared, it’s even worse. I want him all the time.

  “Tell me about the last ten years, Sugar.”

  “What do you want to know?”

  “Everything,” he says. “Before I made my mistakes, I knew every thought that passed through your head. I want you to catch me up on the last ten years, and I promise I’ll never miss another one after tonight.”

  “Roman.”

  He softly kisses my lips. “No, tonight is ours. Don’t. I get it. We need to talk about what tonight will mean, but not tonight. Tonight is ours.”

  “I don’t know if I remember every thought I had over the last decade,” I chuckle.

  “Start from your family.”

  I shake my head. “It was horrible, Roman. I couldn’t drive after that girl answered your door and said those awful things.” Roman growls, but I continue before he has a chance to say anything. “Santiago got me a plane ticket and arranged to have my car shipped home. He was too good to me. I can’t believe––no, not doing that tonight, either. My friend Daniel was with me through the entire thing.”

  “Is that who you were with at the funeral? The guy with his arm around you?”

  I hear the underlying jealousy. Even though it shouldn’t, a thrill shoots through me. “Yeah.”

  “I don’t remember you mentioning a friend named Daniel.”

  “I met him the day after our phone call.” I avoid using the words, left me. We’re starting over and forgiving for every mistake. “We met outside of the community college. I was supposed to be starting a fashion course for high schoolers. I was outside crying and he was kind to me.”

  “Probably because he wanted to get in your pants,” Roman mumbles, letting his jealousy rise to the surface.

  “It wasn’t like that. At least not in the beginning. He was with me during the whole ordeal, then shortly after the funeral and reading of the will, he tried to kiss me. I denied his advances, and he disappeared. I’ve never seen him again. Santiago was thrilled, he hated him.”

  “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’m sure that wasn’t easy after everything you lost. Santiago was a smart man, I’m glad Daniel never got too close to you. If Santiago hated him, it was for a reason.”

  “It wasn’t easy,” I answer, allowing a little of the pain to seep in.

  “Did you live with Santiago?”

  I nod. “Santiago kept the money from my parents in a trust for me. He paid for everything—college, my car. He left the money untouched. I only got it after he died. It wasn’t much, but I used it to start my store.”

  “What wasn’t much?” Roman asks.

  “The money my parents left. There wasn’t a lot, but it helped me start my dream without getting a loan.”

  “Hold on,” Roman says. “I’m confused. Your parents didn’t leave you with a large sum?”

  “No,” I answer, confused. “Why?”

  “Sugar, your parents were loaded. Where did all the money go?”

  “That was all the money,” I say slowly.

  “You’re telling me you only had enough to start your store?”

  “Yes,” I answer, still confused. I never thought about how much they left behind. I was in too much pain for too long to consider if it matched our wealth.

  “So, you’re only living off your store’s income?” Roman shifted from my sexy date into investigator. He’s looking at me directly in the eye with one eyebrow cocked, asking these questions. He looks like he’s searching for the lie in my words.

  “Yes,” I answer again, frustration starting to rise.

  “Fuck,” he whispers. “I’m sorry. That just surprised me, and it doesn’t seem accurate. Your dad taught me how to balance a checkbook and pay my bills with his accounts. Babe, you should have a lot more money. I thought you were just saving or investing it, living within your means. I didn’t understand why you were in such a small apartment, but I didn’t question it.”

  “Do you think Santiago did something with their money?”

  He shakes his head vigorously. “No, he wouldn’t do that. He obviously did things that neither one of us thought he could do, but betray your family? Never. Besides, his bank accounts made your parents look like they had an average income. How much did he leave you?”

  I shrug my shoulders. “Nothing.”


  “He left you nothing?”

  “Yeah. I didn’t think anything of it or expect him to. Just the trust from my parents was transferred to me.”

  “Harper, he left me five million dollars and I was just some street kid he got a kick out of helping.”

  I feel my eyes bulge from their sockets. Five million dollars?

  “You were more than just a street kid to him. He cared for you, you know that.”

  Roman sighs, exasperated for a reason I don’t understand. “Yeah, I know he did. But, you and Sadie were everything to him. You were all he had left. He was all you had left, and he left you nothing? Something isn’t right about that. The money he left me was a drop in the bucket of his fortune.”

  “I don’t understand,” I say. “I wasn’t even invited to the reading of his will. I don’t know who was. I assume Rafael?”

  “No,” Roman insists, shaking his head. “I don’t think Santiago gave a flying fuck about him. This doesn’t make sense.”

  I’m becoming uncomfortable with the topic, so I try to change the subject. I don’t know why he didn’t leave anything for me, I’ve never found it odd. “When did you find out about Santiago?”

  “About a month after it happened. I was overseas at the time, working an operation with limited communication.”

  I nod, unsure of what to say of these tragic consequences we’ve suffered. Roman runs a hand over his face. I know the money is going to weigh on his mind, but I wish it wouldn’t. I’m doing fine. I started my dream, it was a final gift from my family.

  The tension evaporated from my body when he starts in on his next line of questions. None were as hard as the ones we just crossed. I told him everything from starting my store to meeting Savannah and Val to being terrified after Savannah was attacked. He told me about meeting Kiernan and Caleb and the years they served together. He used Santiago’s money to start his company, and he’s invested the rest.

  We eat our way through three full courses before heading back to the house. Now we’re curled together on a hammock underneath the stars. We’re living in the fantasy of being together. The three words that would change everything haven’t passed through our lips, but we’re speaking as if forever is guaranteed.