Simple Misconception (Jordan James, PI Series)

by Rachel Sharpe

“I don’t think she’s going to be coming out of there anytime soon, and with this pregnant health kick she’s been on, I doubt she’d even set foot in a burger joint . . . but I’ll ask.”

  He strode out of the room. I heard a slight knock on the bathroom door. He softly whispered something to Alicia. A muffled reply echoed down the hall. I heard him mumble, “Love you, Leesh.”

  The sound of his shoes clicking on the hardwood floors reached me before he did. As soon as he entered the room, he shoved his hands in his pockets, leaned against the wall and grinned. “Come on. Let’s go get fat.”

  3

  Charlie Coyle was a pretty cool guy. I never imagined someone that easy-going would end up with my sister. My preconceived notion of this boring, stiff, younger version of my father was completely off. Charlie was nice. And funny.

  During the fifteen-minute drive from my parents’ house to Five Guys, he turned on some satellite station that played only nineties hip hop and R&B and he knew the words to pretty much every song. I couldn’t help but laugh when he broke out into a lively chorus of Bone Thugs-N-Harmony’s “The Crossroads.” When the song ended, he glanced over, grinning.

  “What?”

  “You’re . . . totally not what I expected.”

  He turned left into the parking lot and parked in an open space near the front door. “What did you expect?”

  “I don’t know. I mean, you’re funny . . . not what I expected.”

  “So, you thought I was what, just a lawyer?” He put the car in park, but left the engine running. “Jordan, we’ve never really taken the time to get to know each other.”

  “Okay?”

  “Just saying I’m looking forward to our lunch date.” Winking, he turned off the engine. He threw open the door of his brand-new Audi A6, an early Christmas gift from my sister. I watched him walk around the car and open my door. “Some of my most meaningful conversations have involved booze.”

  “Okay?” I repeated.

  He didn’t reply. Instead, he shut the car door. The alarm chirped as he locked it. Shrugging it off, I made my way toward the restaurant. There was a four-inch curb that I somehow overlooked. I tripped on it, nearly falling face first onto the cracked concrete. Luckily, Charlie caught me.

  “You all right there, sis?” He laughed, holding my shoulders until I was steady.

  “Oh yeah, peachy,” I grumbled, feeling my face flush with embarrassment.

  “Don’t worry. Nobody saw.”

  “Nobody except everyone in the restaurant. Oh, and everyone driving down the highway.”

  “Maybe. Do you really care? It’s not like you live here.”

  “No, but, you know, I’d rather not fly home with a busted face.”

  “Goes with the territory.” When I gave him a perplexed frown, he pointed to a tiny scar. It went through his left eyebrow. “Freshman year. Rush Week. I had . . . let’s just say, too much fun . . . and I face planted into a glass coffee table. Lucky I didn’t lose my eye.”

  “Wow.”

  He held the door to the restaurant open for me. As we walked inside and the air conditioning hit me full blast, I felt the first gust of cold air I had felt since I left Boston.

  Shivering, I muttered, “I’ll bet Alicia loves that story.”

  “Never told her.” Holding out his pinky, he added, “Our little secret, okay?”

  I couldn’t help but grin as I linked my pinky in his and nodded.

  ~ ~ ~

  After our fun, fattening lunch, Charlie brought me back to my parents’ house. During the drive, Alicia texted him that she had to go to the E.R. for an emergency surgery. Feeling a little better, I kind of hoped he would decide to hang out a little longer. As soon as the car pulled into the driveway, he put it in park and turned to me.

  “Well, it’s been fun, but I’ve gotta jet.”

  “Oh, okay.” I didn’t hide my disappointment.

  “I’d stay, but I gotta get Leesh another gift.”

  “Another gift?”

  “Yeah, I got her this tennis bracelet with two charms, a baby and a caduceus—”

  “A what now?”

  “Caduceus.” He grinned at my ignorance. “You know, that little symbol . . .the one for doctors with the staff and wings and snakes—”

  “Oh, yeah, right.”

  “Anyway, thought I finally got her a better gift, but”—he motioned to the car—“once again, she totally nailed it. This one’s gonna be hard to top.”

  “You don’t have to top, I mean, yeah, Alicia’s totally competitive which can be totally annoying, but not about this. If she gave you this car, it’s because she wanted to make you happy, not show you up. Christmas has always been her favorite holiday. She loves giving presents. She gets super excited when people like her gifts. She’s kind of weird.”

  “I’ll give you that, but again, our secret.” After a pause, he added, “What do you think I should do?”

  “About what?”

  “About her other gift? A bracelet isn’t even in the same ballpark as a car. Should I give her, I don’t know, a trip? She’s always wanted to go to Paris.”

  “Audis and Paris?” I shook my head. “I’m totally in the wrong line of work. Look, you’ve already given her two gifts—”

  “Two charms doesn’t count as two gifts.”

  “No, ding dong, the baby! You guys are having a baby. That’s the greatest gift either of you could give the other. The bracelet, the car, that’s lagniappe.” I paused, thinking. “If you really feel like you’ve gotta get her something else, get her something from the heart. Alicia’s big on sentimental. If it comes from your heart, it’ll mean more to her than all the vacations in the world.”

  Charlie sat in silence for a moment, staring at me. I began to wonder if my remarks offended him. Just then, his lips curled up into his signature goofy grin. “There was one thing I wanted to do . . .”

  “What?”

  “Oh, no.” He shook his head. “Not saying in case I totally screw up. But, thanks.”

  “Sure,” I nodded, taking the cue and unbuckling my seatbelt. I opened the door and got out. “Thanks for the burger. Definitely helped.”

  “Glad to hear.” He winked. “Oh, and Jordan?” Pausing, I leaned back in. “Next time, try a chaser.”

  “Ugh.” I shut the door.

  I stood near the sidewalk, watching as he backed out of the driveway and drove away. I turned toward the house. Since the garage door was shut, I knew my mother was not home. However, there was still a chance that my father was. I swallowed hard, realizing a conversation with him at this point would be far worse than one with her.

  Taking a deep breath, I reached into my pocket and extracted my key ring. Gripping the house key between my thumb and index finger, I approached the front door with heavy legs. In my life, I’ve done some pretty stupid stuff. There’s no denying that. But nothing I’ve done lately has reached this level of stupidity. Leaving my mother’s car to be impounded on Decatur Street was definitely a moron move. Sooner or later, I was going to answer for it.

  Breathing slowly to calm my nerves, I placed the key in the lock and quietly opened the door. The security system chirped, but did not sound, suggesting once again, no one bothered to arm the house. Tiptoeing into the foyer, I listened. The sudden click of the heater blasting unnecessary hot air during another mild Louisiana winter made me jump. I realized there was no one home and breathed a deep sigh of relief. I was safe. For now.

  Exhaustion hit me full force as soon as the fear subsided. With nothing else to do, I headed up the stairs and to my old bedroom. During our burger run, I left my cell phone on the nightstand. I was surprised I forgot it. I was even more surprised to have a text message from an unknown number with a 504 area code.

 
‘Last night was epic!! Ready 4 tonite?’

  It took me a minute to realize the message was from Natalie. Falling back onto the bed, I glanced at the clock. It was about two-thirty and, unless I lost an entire day, Thursday. Thursday meant there was a couple’s baby shower tonight. Missing a church pageant was one thing. If I skipped out on Alicia’s baby shower, I might as well pack my bags and book my last one-way flight to Boston. Plus, I didn’t want to let Alicia down.

  ‘Can’t. Sorry :( ’

  Less than a second later came her response.

  ‘Friday?’

  I stared at the phone, thinking. Common sense and fading nausea should have told me the answer was not only no, but no freaking way. Somehow, we got so wasted I could barely remember what happened. Still, something about the message got me. Whether it was Natalie’s carefree attitude or the winky face, I found myself, once again, grinning at the possibility of a really fun time with the coolest chick from Saint Martin’s Prep School.

  I texted a thumb’s-up emoticon. Her reply was simply another winky face. Laughing, I fluffed my pillow and decided to check my phone for other messages. I had no voicemails or missed calls, but there was a text from Rick saying he heard the choir practicing for the Canterbury Cathedral service on Christmas Eve and he wished I could have been there with him. I felt a slight twinge of guilt for some reason at this, but it quickly passed. We were still not back together. And I needed a break.

  Checking my email, I found that I had no new cases. Since solving the Schooling Dad murder at Thanksgiving, my firm had hit a dry spell. I wasn’t exactly wishing for someone to have an affair or drop dead or something, but I definitely needed to get a case soon if I hoped to pay off the monumental credit card bill I would be seeing come January 5.

  Sighing, I put the phone down and stared up at the ceiling, trying to think of effective ways to market myself instead of fretting over my bills. Sometime between realizing I needed to update my website and brainstorming new company logos, I fell asleep. I was awakened by the sound of a high-pitched scream that left my ears ringing.

  “What are you doing?”

  I sat straight up, my eyes wide and my heart racing. It took me a minute to recognize the wailing banshee as my mother. She was dressed in a sleek, sleeveless burgundy dress that, although meant for a younger woman, she could totally pull off. She raced around my room in six-inch heels, ripping several dresses from my closet and dropping them on the bed beside me.

  “I checked on you an hour ago. I told you the caterers were here and guests would be arriving at seven. It’s a quarter ‘til, Jordan! You said you would be ready to help greet the guests! What are you doing?”

  “Uh . . .”

  “This is inexcusable!” She began rummaging through my closet for heels. With each word, she tossed another shoe into the center of the room. “After last night . . . no, I will not get into that. Tonight is about Alicia and Charlie. Jordan, I don’t know what’s gotten into you. First, you skip Thanksgiving, and now, you’re disappearing for all hours of the night! And my car . . . This reckless irresponsibility . . . This is not how I raised you!”

  There were a lot of things I wanted to tell her. About how years of societal obligations filled me with such dread I usually avoided major events out of anxiety. The words were there, right on the tip of my tongue, but they wouldn’t emerge. Beneath it all, she cared. And she was still my mother. Gritting my teeth, I took a deep breath. “I’m sorry.” She shot me a dubious expression. “I’ll be down in a minute.”

  “See that you are,” she huffed, storming to the door. As she opened it, she paused. I watched her social face appear. She offered a luminous smile. “Thank you for agreeing to help, sweetie. It means the world to your sister.”

  I stared at the door as it shut. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought that any woman who could turn a bedroom upside down in a twister of panic and rage and then, seconds later, transform into Miss Congeniality, must be bipolar. However, that was not the case with my mother. Societal conventions were so deeply ingrained into her, emotions could be shut off like a faucet. It wasn’t a bad or a good thing. It was simply who she was.

  I searched through the pile of dresses until I found a cute, solid knot-front empire dress I had discovered on clearance at the mall the last time I was in town but had forgotten to bring home. It had sleeves that ended just above the elbows. It was a rich purple, a color that, although I didn’t wear often, looked decent on me. I figured this dress would be fancy enough for whatever doctor and lawyer friends might show up.

  After throwing it on and finding a pair of black boots, I tiptoed to the bathroom to fix whatever damage my late-afternoon nap had caused. I was pleased to discover that I had not turned into Frankenstein’s monster during my rest, but my hair did resemble the half-hearted efforts of a lazy mamma bird building a nest. A few minutes later, I was again presentable. After taking a moment to survey myself in the mirror, I took a deep breath, counted to ten, and opened the bathroom door.

  From downstairs, I heard the sound of laughter and a male voice I didn’t recognize right away. This meant only one thing: the “party” had begun.

  Brushing my hair back, I approached the stairs, scanning the living room, which was so full of elegant holiday cheer it almost resembled a Christmas ad for Macy’s. I didn’t find the source of the laughter until I neared the kitchen. There, standing in front of the island with a glass of eggnog and my sister and brother-in-law, was Carter Coyle, Charlie’s younger brother.

  I had only met him at their wedding, but Carter seemed like a nice guy. With sandy-blond hair, hazel eyes, and standing at least six feet tall, he didn’t resemble his older brother in appearance, but watching them interact, I could see the similarities emerge. I remembered Alicia telling me once that he went to college out of state like I had, but while I chose the East Coast, Carter migrated West, attending USC. I couldn’t remember what he chose to major in, but I knew it wasn’t a safe, smart option like law or medicine.

  “Jordan!”

  As soon as I neared the kitchen, Alicia spotted me. Wearing a black, form-fitting dress that revealed my older sister had put on no extra weight besides baby, she waddled into the living room holding a wine glass filled with ice water. When she reached me, she grabbed my arm with an iron grip. Narrowing her eyes, she searched mine.

  “Are you okay?” Her voice was barely above a whisper. “Mom said you passed out.”

  “Passed out? Ugh. No, I did not pass out,” I hissed, shaking my arm free. When the Coyle brothers glanced over, we both offered up reassuring smiles. As soon as they turned away, the smiles dropped. “I fell asleep, Alicia. I was out late last night. Remember?”

  “You sure you’re all right?”

  “Why? Are you afraid I’m going to embarrass you in front of your friends?” I felt blood rush to my face. “If you don’t want me here, I’ll be glad to go.”

  “No. Jordan . . .” She trailed off, taking a deep breath to compose herself. “Look, you’ve been acting . . . weird . . . ever since Thanksgiving. I don’t know what’s been going on with you, but something is up. I’m worried. I’m not afraid you’re going to embarrass me . . . I just want to make sure you’re all right.”

  A pang of guilt left my stomach twisted. Swallowing hard, I nodded. “I’m fine. Just a lot going on right now.”

  “Do you want to talk?”

  “No. I mean, no, thanks. I’m okay.” When she stared at me with doubt, I offered her a genuine smile. I squeezed her shoulder. “I swear, Leesh. I’m totally fine. Maybe a little crazy sometimes, but fine.”

  “Wouldn’t take a medical doctor to make that diagnosis.”

  I clutched my heart in mock surprise. “Was . . .? Was that . . . a joke?”

  A smile crept across her lips. “Either it was or you are.”

 
“Two jokes?” I gasped. “The apocalypse must be coming.”

  “You promise you would tell me?” she interrupted, the trouble clouding her eyes once more. “I mean, if there were anything really wrong?”

  The knot tightened further. There she was, my only sister, my very first friend. She was one of the few people who really knew me. She was offering me comfort and support during a time of confusion and turmoil. We may have annoyed each other, but I knew this offer was made in earnest. It meant a lot to me. And I loved her for it.

  But there was a problem. Opening up to her about my life, my private life, the parts of my life I barely discussed with Heather, felt odd. Strange. But I couldn’t tell her that. When everything was said and done, she was still my sister. And she always would be.

  “Yeah.” I nodded, offering a slight smile. “I promise.”

  4

  “It’s fun, isn’t it? Being reminded you aren’t where you should be in life.”

  Taking a sip of chardonnay, I glanced over. Carter was leaning against the kitchen island. Caterers hurried about cleaning up the remains of the party. For a super social gathering, Alicia’s shower hadn’t been that bad. As her sister, I spent the evening playing assistant, making note of the gifts given for thank-you cards and helping to make sure everything ran smoothly. It was actually fun. I was able to catch up with a few of our mutual friends I hadn’t seen since her wedding.

  Still, Carter’s words rang true. We were the only two people at the party who were not in some way or another married members of the legal or medical communities. It was strange, almost like being on the outside looking in. Still, it never really bothered me. I knew early on I had no interest in law, and medicine didn’t even cross my mind for a second. It was nice, however, to have a fellow outsider to share the awkwardness.