Bring Me Flowers (Garden of Love 5)
Page 22
Stepping around her, he walked toward the line he needed to be in without saying good-bye. She stared after him, but he didn’t turn back to look at her, and then others blocked her view. She felt numb and slowly turned away, realizing she finally had an answer. And it wasn’t the answer she wanted. Not at all.
CHAPTER TEN
Kendra wanted to sleep in the following morning instead of going to church. Her heart felt like it had been ripped out of her chest. She couldn’t get the look on Trevor’s face out of her mind. It was unlike any expression she had ever seen from him before.
She went to the youth room and tried to act normal. The only other person who knew about her seeing Trevor was Kristin. She was glad she didn’t have to face her right now. They weren’t due back until this evening, and she hoped her sister would forget about it. She didn’t know how to form the words about what had happened.
Her brother had some good news to share. He was leaving at the end of the month to take a position with a youth mission organization, something they all had known for a few months. Kendra hated to see him go but was glad to hear they had hired someone else to take his place.
“Actually, many of you have met him,” Kevin said. “He was the lead singer of that band that came a few weeks ago.”
Kendra remembered Michael. He had been very friendly and definitely knew how to lead worship, something that she and the youth group kids had appreciated about Kevin.
Following class, Kendra began walking down the corridor when one of the girls stopped her.
“Hey, Mary Beth,” she said, wondering where Bradley was.
“Hi,” she replied, not appearing her usual self. “Can I talk to you?”
“Sure,” she said. Leading Mary Beth to her brother’s office, she invited her in and closed the door. “What’s up?”
Mary Beth got straight to the point. “Bradley is thinking about going into the Air Force, and he wants to know if I want to get married this summer.”
Kendra stared at her. This was not a good day for Mary Beth to be asking her this. She wanted to scream, “Marry him! Don’t let him get away!” But she knew that might not be the best advice. Collecting her thoughts and holding her emotions in check, she invited Mary Beth to sit down.
“Have you talked to your family about this?”
“No. Bradley just told me yesterday that he’s been talking to the recruiter lately and wanted to know what I thought. I told him if he wanted to go, then he should go. Then he asked me if I wanted to get married.”
“Do you want to marry Bradley?”
Mary Beth shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“Did you talk about other options, like having a long-distance relationship or you transferring to a school close to where he gets stationed instead of having to get married now?”
“Not really. He just asked if I wanted to get married, and I told him I’d think about it,” she said. “I couldn’t sleep last night, and today I have a knot in my stomach.”
Kendra thought back to her own senior year when she had made her decision about Trevor. She told Mary Beth some things she wished she had done back then.
“The first thing you need to do is pray. Only God knows what is best for you and Bradley. Only He can show you.”
Mary Beth nodded.
“Second, you need to give it some time. Don’t make a snap decision and then feel like you have to stick by it no matter what. Talk to Bradley. Discuss all your options. Ask your family for their guidance. You don’t have to necessarily do what they say, but you should listen and give their advice serious consideration. They only want what’s best for you.”
Mary Beth nodded again. “I don’t think I want to lose him, Kendra.”
“Then tell him so. Don’t turn this into a fight and say, ‘My way or the highway.’ Work through it together. That’s what relationships are all about.”
Mary Beth nodded and brushed back her tears. Kendra got her a tissue and then offered to pray with her. When they were finished, Kendra gave her a hug and told her she was available to talk more anytime.
They stepped out of the office. Bradley was standing in the hall. Mary Beth looked surprised to see him and stepped into his arms. Kendra thought about the final hug she and Trevor had shared yesterday and turned away before letting the tears fall. Leaving through a side door and hurrying to her car, she decided to skip service today and go for a long drive.
***
“Would you like to go get some lunch?”
Kendra looked up at Michael, the new youth pastor. He’d been at the church for almost a month, since the beginning of June. They were slowly getting to know each other, and she liked him--as a friend. She’d been dreading this moment. The moment she had to decide if she was going to go out with him when he got around to asking, or if she was going to let her remaining feelings for Trevor keep her from moving on. She hadn’t been on a date in over four months--definitely a record for her.
The weeks had slowly passed. Kendra hadn’t heard from Trevor. Not by phone. Not by email. She had written him once since he’d gone back to California--a modified version of the letter she had written before they met in Portland, but he hadn’t replied. She decided it was better to leave him alone.
Classes had ended, Kristin and Jacob had gotten engaged and were planning an August wedding, she and Abby got an apartment together, and she began working as a counseling intern for several churches in the area, including her own.
She had approached several youth pastors with the idea of assisting them with some of their counseling responsibilities, especially with girls that might be more comfortable sharing their problems with another female. Her brother had been very supportive of her idea and helped to make it a reality by getting enough other youth pastors to agree to letting her spend a few hours each week with some of their youth to help satisfy her internship requirement.
She began meeting with various girls on Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday mornings and worked at an Internet café the rest of the time. Her busy schedule kept her from thinking about Trevor as much, although getting him off her mind and out of her heart wasn’t going to happen overnight.
She’d spent the last two hours with two of the girls from her own church who had been having some emotional problems and needed someone to talk to. She loved this part of her life right now. Most of the ones she had been counseling thus far had opened up to her well, and she did feel that she was helping them. Most of the time she did that by pointing them toward God, something they were willing to do but not sure how to do.
Pastor Michael had told her countless times how much he appreciated her in the time he’d been here. She had helped with the activities this month and had given him advice about what the kids were used to with Pastor Kevin, not because she thought he should do everything the same but because he had wanted to make the transition for the kids as smooth as possible.
With both of them being single, the possibility of developing something beyond friendship with him had crossed her mind. He was definitely the type of guy she was looking for: strong in his faith, easy to talk to, had similar interests, not to mention easy on the eyes. But so far he hadn’t given her any indication he was interested.
Noticing her hesitate to respond to his lunch invitation, he smiled and said, “I need to talk to you about something, if you don’t mind.”
“Oh, sure,” she said, wondering if this was a ministry matter or a personal one. Either way she got the impression he wasn’t asking her out on a date.
They went to a deli she recommended. Talking about ministry while they ate, Michael again told her how much he appreciated all of her help.
“You’re doing a great job,” she returned the compliment. “I hope I don’t overstep my bounds sometimes.”
“No, not at all,” he said. “You keep sharing your ideas. We make a great team.”
She did agree with that. In many ways Michael reminded her of Trevor, and she felt like she could speak her mind with him.
She had almost asked him for advice concerning Trevor but hadn’t done so yet.
Getting around to the main reason he had asked her to lunch, Michael told her about his own relationship woes. He had dated someone a couple of months back that he liked very much, but she wasn’t a Jesus Follower. He knew he couldn’t pursue her further until she made God a part of her heart.
“Do you think it’s foolish to believe Natalie will ever change her mind and to sit around waiting for her?”
Kendra had asked herself this same question so many times in the last few weeks. Had Trevor said a final good-bye to her at the airport, or did she have reason to believe there was still hope?
“Hopes are never foolish when God’s involved, Michael. I think you should hold on as long as your heart tells you to hold on.”
A smile spread across his face. “You sound like you’re speaking from experience.”
She nodded. “I can definitely say that I wish I would have held on longer.”
***
Abby handed her “closed” sign to her last customer and asked her to put it at the end of the belt. It had been a long day. Fridays always seemed to be busy near the end of her shift.
Seeing someone out of the corner of her eye approach her line, she told the customer she was closing without looking up. Noticing the figure hadn’t moved, she glanced up and saw Jordan standing there. All he had to place on the belt was a bouquet of flowers.
She smiled and winked. “I guess I’ll take you.”
Finishing up with the woman standing ahead of him, she blew her bangs out of her eyes. Jordan stepped up to the counter in front of her and took his money out of his wallet.
“Buying these for anyone special?” she asked.
“Someone very special,” he replied.
“I thought you were working late tonight.”
“We decided to finish up tomorrow. My dad’s back is acting up again.”
Her smile faded. “Does that mean we’re not going to the beach?”
“Oh, no. We’re definitely going. My dad and I will get an early start, and we should be done before lunch. I figured you wouldn’t mind the chance to sleep in.”
“You’ve got that right.”
Abby took the flowers, clocked out, and left with Jordan. They went out for pizza across the street and then to a movie. They went back to the supermarket parking lot to get her car, and Jordan followed her to her new apartment before saying good-night and kissing her outside the door.
It wasn’t that late, but Abby found Kendra sleeping on the couch when she entered the apartment. She’d been a little worried about her lately. Kendra didn’t seem herself. To her knowledge, Kendra hadn’t been out on a date during the two months they had been living together, and whenever Jordan came over in the evenings or on weekends, Kendra usually went to her room.
Abby slept in the following morning and took a shower when she got up. Kendra was already gone, probably out helping Kristin with wedding preparations again, she supposed. The big day was next weekend.
Jordan came by at eleven-thirty, and they left for the beach. They were celebrating five months of being together today. The weather could not have been more perfect. Blue skies and warm air made for an enjoyable day. Abby felt at peace with Jordan at her side. They talked, held hands, walked beside the water, and shared loving kisses.
Following a relaxing dinner, they went down to the beach once again, sat on a log that had been washed ashore, and watched the sun set on the clear, glowing horizon. Holding her sandal straps between her fingers, Abby leaned against Jordan’s chest and closed her eyes. Days like this she didn’t want to see end.
Abby felt Jordan take the sandals from her. Opening her eyes, she saw him take her left hand and stroke her ring finger.
“I think it’s about time I put something on there, don’t you?”
She felt her eyes widen, and a smile formed on her thin lips. “What did you have in mind?”
He opened his palm. “I hope this will do.”
Seeing the diamond ring, she let the tears flow. “Yes, I think that will do,” she whispered.
He slid the ring onto her finger and kissed her. “I love you, Abby,” he said, wiping away her tears with his thumbs. “Will you spend the rest of your life with me?”
She smiled. “Okay.”
***
Helping Kristin plan her wedding brought both joy and sorrow. Kendra was thrilled for Kristin. She had never seen her happier, and she knew Kristin and Jacob were going to have a wonderful life together.
But every time they had gone to the dress shop, or looked at invitations, or visited Aunt Pauline’s to see the creative floral ideas their aunt had come up with, Kendra couldn’t help but think of Trevor and what might have been. The desire to marry him seemed to get stronger by the day.
On the day of Kristin’s wedding, Kendra’s emotions fell apart like a rain-soaked hillside. She had tried to pretend she was fine. Only Kristin knew about what had happened with Trevor. She had sworn her to secrecy and knew Kristin would not betray that trust.
Michael found her crying in his office after the ceremony. He had come to the church to do some last-minute preparations for Sunday’s lesson, not for the wedding. He offered her a shoulder, and she wept like a baby.
“I can’t hold on, and I can’t let go,” she said, knowing he had no idea what she was talking about.
Once she had calmed down a bit, she told him the whole story. He listened without comment until she finished.
“Should I try to call him?” she asked. “Should I go see him? Just show up on his doorstep and make him explain why he walked away? I can’t let things between us end the way they did, can I?”
“I’d love to tell you exactly what to do, Kendra. But I don’t think I know.”
“That’s it?” she asked, letting a tiny smile emerge. “I spill my guts to you, and you tell me you don’t know?”
“Actually I do know,” he said. “But you might not want to hear it.”
“What?”
“I think you have to do what I’ve been doing for the last six weeks since I talked to you over ham and cheese sandwiches.”
“Oh, great. What awful advice did I give you that’s going to come back and haunt me?”
He laughed. “Well, you told me to hold on as long as my heart told me to hold on. I modified it a bit and decided to hold on as long as God tells me to hold on.”
“Are you still holding on?”
“I’m waiting for the Matchmaker to bring us back together if and when the time is right.”
She smiled. “You mean God?”
“Yes. And to be honest, I’ve never felt more at peace since leaving it entirely in His hands.”
After Michael left the room, Kendra surrendered herself to the Divine Matchmaker, knowing she had no other option.
“God, I’ll hold on as long as you tell me to. And if the time comes to let go, please show me and give me the strength to do so.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Letting God’s strength and peace fill her, Kendra went to the ladies’ room to wipe her eyes then went back to the reception area to mingle with her family and friends in celebrating this wonderful day for her sister.
Kristin and Jacob looked as happy as any couple ever had. After talking to them briefly and hugging them both once again, Kendra remembered something she had bought for her sister and went to her car to get it. Returning to the room where Kristin had left her luggage, she placed the small wrapped package on top of her sister’s suitcase. Inside was a lovely blue chemise that she had picked up at the lingerie store.
With the crowd beginning to thin out when she returned, Kristin and Jacob decided to get ready for their departure.
“I’m going to throw it right at you,” Kristin whispered, preparing to toss her bouquet to the single women present. “So be prepared.”
Kendra stood among the eager young women, not feeling confident her sister was going to make an accurate thr
ow her direction if she had to stand with her back to them. Kristin didn’t have good aim when she was facing the target. As she predicted, the lovely bouquet that she would’ve liked to have, not for the superstitious tradition of predicting the next bride but because of its sentimental value, went sailing on the opposite side of the clump. Kendra had to smile, however, when she saw that Abby had been the one to catch it.
The couple departed shortly thereafter, driving away in Jacob’s sedan decorated tastefully with balloons and streamers and a sign in the back window that said, “Just Married.” They were planning to drive to the beach tonight and spend the week in a rented beach house along the shore in Yachats.
Kendra and the rest of her family stayed until all the gifts had been packed into several cars, the decorations had been taken down, and the uneaten portion of the food and cake had been dispersed among them. It was after six by the time she arrived at her apartment. Abby and Jordan weren’t there, and she supposed they’d be out for the remainder of the evening.
Abby had asked Kendra to be the maid of honor in her wedding set for mid November and asked if she would help with the planning. She didn’t have sisters or any other close friends she trusted to handle all the details. Abby had laid a bridal magazine on her bed with three pages marked. Which dress do you like best? she had written on a Post-it note attached to the front cover.
Sinking onto the bed, Kendra opened to the pages Abby had indicated. Of the three dresses, she immediately knew which one would look best on Abby’s thin frame with her blond hair pinned up just like the model’s in the magazine. Looking back to one of the other gowns, Kendra ran her fingers over the glossy page and could almost feel the satin fabric and delicate lace. That was the dress she would pick for herself.