Starstruck - Book Two

by Gemma Brooks

  “Some guy was hassling her,” he said. “I ran into her last night and offered to walk her to her place.”

  My stomach twisted as my mind assumed the worst. His explanation was convenient. Almost too convenient.

  “So you went to her apartment?” I asked.

  “I walked her to the door, yes,” he replied. “Told her to have a good night and then caught a cab back to my hotel.”

  I wanted to believe him. I really did.

  “Brynn,” he sighed. “You know better than to believe anything you read online. Those sites just want the most sensational headlines so they can generate the most ad revenue. You know how that works. You’ve experienced it firsthand. You’ve read all the lies they’ve printed about you.”

  He had a point.

  “That sounds awfully convenient,” I said. “It’s just hard to believe you when I am looking at the pictures right in front of me.”

  “Brynn, please,” he pleaded. “I’m telling the truth.”

  “Why didn’t you answer when I called you last night?” I asked.

  “I went to bed early,” he said. “My phone was shut off. I had a six o’clock meeting this morning with a guy from G.Q. magazine. I went to bed around nine last night.”

  “Of course you did,” I said with a snide tone.

  “Brynn,” he said as he objected my attitude. “Come on. Don’t be ridiculous here.”

  “I can’t believe I threw away my entire future for you,” I said. My voice was becoming shrill and whiny, but I didn’t care. “I fell for all of your lies.”

  “Lies? Brynn? What are you talking about? Calm down. Don’t do this,” he pleaded. “I have to jet off to another meeting. I really don’t want to. I want to keep talking to you. I don’t like hearing you like this.”

  A few sobs escaped my mouth as I had nothing more to say to him.

  “Brynn,” he said. “Please. Please calm down. I’ll call you later okay? And I’ll see you at home tomorrow night. Everything’s going to be fine. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.”

  He paused as he waited for me to respond, but I couldn’t find the appropriate words to say. I was angry. I was angry at him. I was angry at myself.

  I pulled the phone from my ear and hung up.

  CHAPTER 13

  I rolled my suitcase to my door Sunday morning and left it standing there. The driver was going to be there any minute to pick me up and take me to the Des Moines International Airport to fly back to L.A. My ticket was printed and shoved in my purse, but I couldn’t bear to look at it. I wasn’t excited to go back, but I didn’t want to stay in Rock River either.

  If I went back to L.A., I knew Hudson would just tell me what I wanted to hear. In less than a week, he was going to be on set with Ava Fox. I didn’t know much about her, but I knew she still had an interest in him. She would’ve have shown up at his place if she didn’t. I wasn’t sure I could handle another round of tabloid fodder and outrageous headlines, especially not about Hudson and Ava.

  If I stayed in Rock River, I’d have to find a way to make things up to Luke and Piper. In their eyes, I’d left them and come back a different person. I guess I couldn’t really blame them for being so weird about it. Maybe I was expecting too much from them.

  The black Town Car pulled up outside my building and my heart began to race. It was too late to think about any of it anymore. I had to make a decision. I had to stay or go. It was Rock River or Hudson. It could never be both.

  Things with Hudson had moved quickly. Too quickly. We had crashed and burned. Visions of the photos of Hadley Tennyson Parker on his arm flashed in my mind, and I wanted to throw up.

  I took a deep breath and walked outside to greet the driver.

  “I’m actually going to be staying,” I told him. “I’m so sorry I didn’t call you sooner. I just found out my flight was cancelled.”

  I was a horrible liar.

  “Your flight was cancelled?” he asked as he peered around at the clear, blue sky above us.

  “Yep,” I said. I didn’t care to elaborate. “I’m sorry. You’ll still be paid.”

  He tipped his hat and got back into the Town Car, driving away. There it was. I’d made my decision. I was staying, and I wondered why it felt so wrong all of a sudden.

  I went back in my apartment and changed into something more comfortable. Pajamas, a fuzzy robe, and slippers were like one giant hug. I heated up a frozen dinner and settled in front of the T.V. to watch a movie.

  I’d never felt so alone in my entire life, but I knew I was the one responsible for it. I had caused it. I did the damage. I had to figure out a way to make things right again, only I didn’t know what was right anymore.

  Piper was right. I was too different now. She barely recognized me and truthfully I barely recognized myself anymore. I’d gotten too wrapped up in Hudson and his lifestyle and all the newness and excitement. I’d forgotten my roots.

  My flight was supposed to land at LAX around seven that evening. A driver was supposed to bring me to Hudson’s house. I still hadn’t told him I wasn’t coming. It was approaching nine thirty, and I knew he’d be calling any minute.

  Just as I suspected, my phone rang at nine thirty-four. It was Hudson.

  “Brynn,” he said. “Where are you?”

  I hesitated and took a deep breath.

  “Rock River,” I said.

  “Are you joking right now?” he replied. There was both confusion and anger in his voice. He was about to lose his cool, which he’d never done. “I – I don’t know what to say. I guess I’m confused?”

  “We’re from two different worlds, you and me,” I said. “After what happened Friday, regardless of what’s true and what’s false, I just don’t know if I can handle that. I’m not used to that stuff. I don’t want pictures of my boyfriend and random women all over the internet every time he goes somewhere for work.”

  I’d never used the boyfriend word with him before. It just slipped out.

  “You have to understand my world,” he said. “If you care about me, you’d give us a chance. You’d at least try to understand it. You’d try to look through all the bullshit and lies that the media spins, and you’d see who I really am.”

  “I want to, Hudson,” I said as my voice trailed. “I really do…”

  “No you don’t,” he huffed. “Either you believe me or you don’t. And obviously you don’t. I don’t know what else I can say right now to make you believe me when you don’t even want to.”

  He was right.

  “Did you bump into Luke or something? Is that what this is all about?” he asked. He was sounding more and more like a jealous boyfriend lately.

  “I saw him, but no, that’s not what this is about,” I said. “That has nothing to do with this.”

  “Things were great two days ago,” he said. “Hadley and I are just friends. We go way back. I know a lot of people, Brynn. What else can I say to change how you feel?”

  I figured he’d have something brilliant to say. Something to change my mind and make me want to see him again. But nothing he said made me feel any better.

  Rumbling from a truck that could only belong to one person startled me, and I glanced outside my window to see Luke’s rusty, red pickup parked next to my car.

  What’s he doing here? I wondered. I wasn’t expecting him at all.

  “Hudson,” I said. “I’m going to let you go.”

  “Wait,” he objected. “So that’s it? Just like that? It’s over?”

  “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?” I said. I wasn’t even sure if I meant that. I just had to get him off the phone.

  I hung up with Hudson and waited for Luke to come to the door. As soon as I heard his signature double knock, my heart began to race.

  “Luke, hi,” I said as I pulled the door open. “Come in.”

  He stared at my lithe frame before settling down on my sofa. He looked distraught, and I could tell he’d been doing some serious thinking.

&nb
sp; “Luke,” I said. “I don’t know why you’re here, but I just want to say that I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I screwed up our friendship and what might have been. I know I can never make it up to you. And I know things can never be the way they were before. If I could go back in time and change things, I would.”

  He stared up at me, his face contorted into some sort of pained scowl I’d never seen on him before. A tingle ran down my spine, but it was out of fear more than anything else.

  “I can hardly look at you,” he said through gritted teeth. “I saw the light on in your apartment. I saw you were still in town, so I just came by to tell you to leave me alone, Brynn.”

  “Wait, what?” I asked with an incredulous laugh.

  “Don’t come by the bar,” he said. “Don’t call me. Don’t ask Piper about me.”

  Piper was such a traitor. I was going to have some words with her.

  “Oh, okay,” I said, taken aback.

  “Look at you,” he said. “You’re a skeleton. You don’t look anything like the Brynn I know. Just looking at you reminds me of him. It makes me sick.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “I’m sorry you feel that way, but I’m still me.”

  “I’m going to say this only once,” he said. “I don’t want you in my life. You got that? You leave me alone from now on.”

  “Luke, you’re just saying that because you’re angry,” I said, trying to soothe him. “You don’t mean it.”

  He stood up and let himself out. Within seconds, his red truck was peeling out of my parking lot and rumbling down the street and over the hill, back towards the farm.

  I sunk back into my sofa as I realized I would never be able to make it up to Luke. He was gone for good. He was forever going to be out of my life.

  I wanted to call Piper, but I was learning that I couldn’t trust her. It was almost like it was Piper and Luke against me, which was crazy because growing up they couldn’t stand each other. I was the common thread that held them together. Nothing was making sense anymore.

  CHAPTER 14

  The instant Luke left, I didn’t allow myself to cry. Instead, I decided to go for a little drive. I passed my mom’s house and saw that her living room lamp was on, so I stopped in hoping to catch her alone.

  She and Tom were snuggled up on the couch watching the ten o’clock news. I could tell Tom was shocked to see me just walking in without calling and so late, but I didn’t care. As far as I was concerned, it was still my house. I lived there a lot longer than he did.

  “Brynn,” my mom said as she saw me walk in. “What’s wrong?”

  I wanted to cry. I wanted to let loose. But I couldn’t. Not with Tom there.

  “Can I talk to you?” I asked. “Alone?”

  My eyes shuffled to Tom. I didn’t want to be rude, but I needed my mom.

  Tom said nothing as he hoisted himself up and shuffled back to the bedroom and shut the door. That was easy enough.

  “Come here,” she said as she patted the seat where Tom was perched before. It was still warm from his body heat. “What’s going on? I thought you were going back to California today?”

  It was a little strange going to my mom for advice. We hadn’t been super close for years. She hadn’t been coherent for years. I had no one else to talk to though. Piper was my best friend, but I was sure that relationship was tarnished. I had several acquaintances, but no one I could call if I needed something. They’d all start rumors anyway. The last thing I needed was to have people selling stories to the tabloids about Hudson Smith’s ex.

  “I messed up, Mom,” I said as the tears began to fall. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I keep making bad decisions.”

  “Oh, honey,” she said as she ran her fingers through my long, chestnut hair. “That’s part of being young.”

  “Luke wants nothing to do with me,” I sobbed. “And I just told the man I left Rock River for that I want nothing to do with him. And Piper is being really weird lately.”

  “Sounds like your little world is crumbling,” she said. She rubbed my back and it instantly took me back to when I was a little girl and when she was still a good mom. My dad dying so young destroyed her, but somehow Tom was beginning to bring some of that life back into her eyes. “I’m so sorry, sweetie.”

  “I got so caught up with Hudson Smith,” I said. “He said all the right things. He did all the right things. He swept me off my feet like no one ever has before. And I fell for it all.”

  “What do you mean, you fell for it?” she asked.

  “He was spotted out with some model Friday night in New York,” I said. “There are pictures all over the internet.”

  “And you know for sure he was stepping out on you?” she asked.

  “Well, no,” I said as I bit my lip. “But pictures don’t lie.”

  “You can’t believe everything you read,” she said. “And sometimes pictures can be deceiving too.”

  “So I should’ve given him the benefit of the doubt?” I asked.

  She nodded. “I think so.”

  “I didn’t even tell him I wasn’t coming back,” I said. “I just didn’t show up for my flight.”

  “Brynn Elizabeth Dawson,” my mom said as she swatted my arm. “I raised you better than that.”

  She didn’t raise me at all really. I mostly raised myself. But I wasn’t going to tell her that. I was finally getting the mom back that I’d always wanted. The one I always needed. The one that was hidden underneath a drunk layer of self-loathing and depression.

  “What did he do when he realized you didn’t show up?” she asked.

  “He took it really hard,” I said.

  “Does he still want to be with you?” she asked.

  “I think so,” I said. “Yeah.”

  “Then go back to him!” my mom exclaimed. “You’re twenty three years old. You’re young. You’re beautiful. I don’t want you to stick around Rock River and wait tables the rest of your life. I don’t want you to be some farmer’s wife. Luke’s a nice enough guy, but he was never good enough for you, Brynn. You would’ve been settling for him.”

  I was shocked to hear her say that about Luke. I always thought she loved him, but then again, she seemed to love everyone when she was drunk.

  “You never liked Luke?” I asked.

  She pursed her lips and scrunched her face. “Not really.”

  “Why?” I asked.

  “That’s not important,” she said. “What’s important is that you move on with your life. Go back to that movie star fella and try to fix things. You shouldn’t have skipped out on him, but you can still go back and make things right with him. He doesn’t sound like a jerk. He sounds like a guy who is crazy about you and wants to be with you. Those are the men worth fighting for.”

  In my twenty-three years, my mother had never given me advice with such clarity. Everything she said made perfect sense, and I felt closer to her in that moment than I ever had before.

  “Thanks, mom,” I said as I wrapped my arms around her. “I feel much better.”

  She squeezed me tight, and I loved that she didn’t smell like booze. She smelled like lavender perfume and drugstore hairspray. Just like she did when I was a kid.

  CHAPTER 15

  I left my mom’s house and went back to the comfort of my apartment. It was almost as if a weight had been lifted, and I felt like I knew exactly what I needed to do. The second I climbed under the covers, I had to call Hudson. I owed him an explanation. I still wasn’t sure if I wanted to go back to LA or not, but I wanted to talk to him. I owed it to him to give him the benefit of the doubt.

  Hudson picked up in the middle of the first ring.

  “Brynn,” he slurred. “Brynn, what’s going on?”

  He was drunk out of his mind, and it had only been an hour or so since we last talked. Hudson was never really a big drinker. He had to have been more upset than I’d realized.

  “I’m sorry I ended our conversation so abruptly earlier,” I sai
d.

  “Brynn,” he slurred again.

  I wasn’t sure if I should have a conversation with him. I wanted him to be coherent and to remember what we were going to talk about.

  “You’re drunk, Hudson,” I sighed.

  “No, I’m not,” he slurred again.

  “Yes,” I said, annoyed. “Yes, you are. I’m going to let you go and talk to you tomorrow when you’re a little more clearheaded.”