Sweet Southern Hearts
Page 9
Dottie and Ruby sat in the cushioned seats of the U-shaped dinette while Linny went forward to see if she could help. “Is something broken?” she asked.
Dessie pulled off her visor and scratched her head. “This worked fine in the practice area at the RV place. Let me call the roadside assistance number.”
While Dessie punched in numbers on her cell, a knock sounded at the open door.
A couple stood outside, smiling. With clavicle bones that protruded under a velour track suit that swam on her, the woman held a turkey-size platter wrapped in tinfoil. The man had short white hair and showed dimples when he smiled. Wearing boating moccasins and a white polo shirt, he had a round stomach protruding over the waistband of his blue-and-white-plaid shorts. “Howdy, neighbors. We’re Hal and Letty and we’re at the campsite right next door. Thought we’d stop by and say hello, see if there’s anything we could do to help you get settled.”
Linny stepped forward and shook Hal’s hand and smiled at Letty. “I’m Linny, and this is Ruby and my mama, Dottie. That’s Dessie in the driver’s seat.”
Letty held out the tray she carried. “I was making chocolate chip cookies and got carried away and ended up baking one-hundred forty-four. We brought you four dozen.”
Linny gazed at her uncomprehendingly. She’d accidentally made twelve dozen cookies?
“Come right in,” Dottie boomed with a graceful arm sweep of a welcoming gesture. “Let me help you with that heavy platter.”
Dessie spoke up. “Hal, I’m having trouble getting the slide outs to open. If we have to stay the night on top of one another like this, there will likely be bloodshed. Can you come take a look?”
Looking thrilled to be asked for help, Hal strode toward the driver’s seat, but his step faltered when he walked past Ruby, who was looking particularly fetching in dangly earrings and a purple flowing sundress with flip-flops printed on it. He stared at her for a moment, gave her a red-faced nod, and quick-stepped to the driver’s seat. “So, Miss Dessie, tell me what you’ve done so far,” he said in a kindly tone.
“I put it in park and put down the stabilizing jacks. When I pushed the button for the slides, nothing happened. Did I break the gear somehow?” she asked, looking stricken.
He paused and looked thoughtful. “Have you set the brake yet?”
Dessie groaned, pulled on the brake, and tried again. As the slides eased out smooth as butter, she smiled up at him gratefully. “Bless your heart. You’re a genius.”
“Many a seasoned RVer has made that mistake before,” Hal said reassuringly.
Pushing aside her embarrassment, Linny held up a finger. “While we have you here, Hal, we have a few delicate questions about the whole black water, gray water, and bathroom cleaning-out procedure. . . .”
Once Hal had finished his quick tutorials and show and tell, the women thanked him profusely and Hal and Letty headed back to their campsite. After hooking up to power, they unpacked. Linny refereed a mild skirmish between her mother and Ruby over who got to sleep first in the cute bedroom over the cab. After a lively debate, a four-day rotation schedule was agreed upon with Dottie getting first crack at it. The idea for a complicated lottery system for first dibs on the bathroom in the morning went by the wayside and they all agreed that the early bird caught the worm.
Dessie smiled wryly as she pulled from her suitcase a cookie jar in the shape of a cat, its head being the lid. “I made this in my unsuccessful stint in a ceramics class but thought we could use it as a kitty. We can all throw cash in and use it as need be.” She placed it on the dinette with a clink. “I always hate it when my women friends eat out, ask the waiter for separate checks, and reach in their change purses to contribute their part down to the cent. Makes us women look petty.”
“I agree. Good idea,” Linny said and pulled bills from her wallet. “How about if we start with a hundred each?”
The others agreed and added their bills.
After an alfresco supper of hot dogs grilled over an open fire, plump juicy tomatoes from Dottie’s garden, and Ruby’s famous red-skinned potato salad with eggs, sweet pickle, and scallions, Linny slipped around to a picnic table near the back of the RV and called Jack. “Hey,” she said softly.
“Hey, Lin,” Jack said warmly. “I miss you already.”
“And I miss you and Neal. A bunch. And I miss Roy like crazy, and the rest of the dogs.” Linny felt a wave of yearning, picturing Jack’s handsome, open face. How was she going to sleep without his comforting bulk by her side for six whole nights? She swallowed noisily, realizing she was close to tears.
“Tell me about your day,” Jack said. “Neal’s down at the barn. He’ll be sorry he missed your call.”
Linny pictured Jack in his khaki shorts and his Wolfpack T-shirt, stretched out on the living room couch flanked by dogs. She guessed he’d toed off his sneakers and had an open bag of chips next to him on the cushion. Feeling reassured by the homey mental picture, Linny filled him in on the details of the trip so far.
“You’re off to a good start,” he said after a few minutes. “I know your mama is glad you’re there.”
“She is,” Linny said, knowing she’d made the right decision in coming. Gazing up at the quarter moon, she pictured Neal’s skinny shoulders hunched over his telescope gazing at Orion from that crest beside the barn, the best spot on the farm for views of the sky. “Is Neal excited about your trip?” she asked.
“Beyond that.” Jack chuckled. “He’s wired. He’s been packed for two days and probably won’t be able to sleep tonight. He made us set not one but two alarms to make sure we leave the house by five a.m. to get to the airport in plenty of time.”
“Yikes, early flight.” Linny pictured the two of them hurriedly eating peanut butter and bananas on toast—their favorite weekday breakfast—and hefting their packs into the truck just as a tangerine sun rose over the farm.
“He’s been watching and rewatching a National Geographic show on stars and meteors.” Jack paused. “Hold on a sec, Lin. Neal just walked in and wants to say hello.”
Her stepson came on the line.
“Hey, Linny. Bear attacks occur in the mountains of North Carolina and Tennessee. You need to put all your food away and take your trash out every night. Some attacks would have been preventable if people had taken better precautions,” Neal said solemnly.
Bears had crossed her mind, too, but Linny grinned. “Thank you, Neal,” she said but spoke to air. Having finished delivering his public service announcement, Neal must have handed the phone back to his father.
“Well, there you go,” Jack said, back on the line with a smile in his voice. “Sorry, Linny. He had that bear issue on his mind all day. Between that and rabid rabbits, I think it’s his way of saying be careful because he wants you to stay safe and come home in one piece.”
“Well,” Linny said, thrilled that Neal was conveying his caring, “tell him I love him.”
“I will,” Jack said gruffly. “And Lin, I love you.”
“Love you, too.” Linny swallowed hard, warmed by his words. “You men travel safely.”
Ending the call, she rejoined the others as they sat around their crackling campfire, chatting softly. She sighed appreciatively as she took her seat in one of the canvas chairs Dessie had brought along for them.
“I love this chair.” Linny stretched out her legs in front of her. She admired the handy drink holder where she’d slipped her paper cup of wine and the canvas panel you could pull over your head to get shade while reading on sunny days.
“You need to try this one,” Dessie said from her extracomfy-looking zero-gravity lounge chair.
“I will,” Linny promised. Though the campground was full, she only heard the wind rustling in the leaves and the soft murmuring of her friends’ voices. It was a lovely night. Leaning back, she stared up at the darkening sky that was now dotted by the glitter of what looked like a thousand bright stars. Maybe she needed to take a lesson from stargazer Neal and re
member to look up at the sky more. She exhaled slowly, remembering the dreamy-voiced fellow on her mellow mindfulness meditation CD. He talked about not thinking so much and enjoying the moment. So many days she scurried right past the beauty of the natural world because she was focused on getting things done. She needed to linger more in the present, she decided, and took a contemplative sip of chardonnay.
Her eyes shadowed by the dark, Ruby took a swallow of her margarita wine cooler and gazed at each of them, one at a time. “I have an announcement to make. I loved my husband, Pete. We had twenty-nine blissfully happy years together. He was everything a woman could want: romantic, caring, and as good-looking as George Clooney.”
Linny intercepted her mother and Dessie exchanging quick eyebrow raises. From what Linny remembered, Pete had been a good man, but he was a regular-looking guy and had his faults like everyone did. He talked too much, wore a toupee that rose and fell in the wind, and often rolled his eyes when Ruby spoke.
Ruby gazed into the flames. “I like my life. I really do. I have Bunco every Tuesday. I go with girlfriends to matinee movies. I walk every morning with my neighbor, Sylvie. My kids call me twice a week and visit when they can. But I see each of you strolling off to make your calls to men who love you. . . .” She trailed off, shaking her head sadly.
“But Mack and I are just friendly dating, not . . .” Dottie interjected but stopped when Ruby held up a hand.
“Dot, whether you admit it or not, you are on the road to romance,” Ruby said firmly. “But back to me. I’m tired of being on my own. I’m going to find a future husband on this trip and I’m going to use the internet to do it.”
Everyone was silent for a moment, taking in her announcement.
Dottie pursed her lips. “Can’t you just meet a nice man at church, Ruby?”
Ruby gave her a knowing look. “Have you ever met a nice single man at church?”
“Well, no. But I wasn’t really trying,” Dottie admitted.
Ruby held up her hands in an I-told-you-so gesture. “And next y’all are going to start telling me that when you aren’t looking, the right one will turn up. But I’ve been not looking for many years and the right one hasn’t popped up.” Her chin was set stubbornly. “I thought Captain Sven from the cruise ship was my Prince Charming, but his love and his lady were the sea.” She shook her head sorrowfully.
Linny didn’t want to look at her mother, whom she knew would be sending her significant looks and mouthing the letters G-A-Y.
“How about the grocery store?” Dessie asked.
“Twice I’ve tried talking to men when I was at the produce section of Lowes Foods, and each time a wife steamed up, mad as a wet hen. Why don’t men wear wedding rings if they’re married?” She gave them a school teacher-ish gaze, as if they’d personally told married men not to wear rings if they didn’t feel like it. “Y’all just happened upon such catches! Jack is such a baby doll, and his son, too. Then Dessie lucks up at prayer group on the cruise and meets Perry, who looks just like the hunk driving the Mustang convertible in the Cialis commercials.”
Linny blinked.
But Ruby wasn’t finished detailing the great luck of her girlfriends. “Then Dottie stumbles upon—truly stumbles upon—dreamy Mack during a rumba lesson and he turns out to be a keeper.” She shook her head. “I just want it to be my time to find love again.”
First Diamond and then Ruby. All these women were all of a sudden determined to find husbands. But Linny couldn’t fault them. She remembered how abjectly lonely she’d been after her beloved first husband Andy had died suddenly. One day she was happy and the next, her world had turned into Armageddon. Moved, Linny touched her foot to Ruby’s. “I’ll help you. We’ll sort through those men together.”
Ruby sent her a grateful smile.
“I’m in too,” Dessie said, trying to bump her foot on Ruby’s but accidentally kicking her. “I can help out if you run into any shady characters, especially with all my experience doing PIing.”
Linny had to hide a smile. For the past few months Dessie had been helping Mary Catherine by secretly taking pictures of a photographer who had been hired by two dirty lawyers to try to bias judges in custody cases. Dessie liked to use PI as a verb.
Dottie gave a resigned sigh. “Well, the dating-by-computer idea worries me some, but a friend from church met her husband online, and in those Christian romances I read, women fall in love in all sorts of ways. Last one, a woman on the way to a church homecoming crashed her car into a fellow’s car, and after he came out of the coma, she ended up marrying him. And turns out he was an earl, and a millionaire.” She shook her head, impressed by the coincidences. “Anyway, count on me to help. We’re the SWAT Team, after all.” She bumped her foot on Ruby’s foot, too.
Eyes glittering with unshed tears, Ruby gave her friends a tremulous smile. “Thank you.”
“I’ll get the iPad and bring it out. We can get this manhunt underway.” Dessie swung up smoothly from her chair and strode into the RV.
“We need pictures, too, don’t we?” Dottie asked. “Flattering and friendly-looking. No ex-husbands or boyfriends cut out.”
Linny grinned. “I’m impressed, Mama. How did you know that?”
“Oh, I’m very with it on all these new things,” she said airily, but then admitted, “AARP had a big article on dating on the internet. If you hadn’t met Jack, I thought I might persuade you to sign up.”
Linny just shook her head. She was only thirty-nine.
Dessie was back with the iPad. “We need to come up with a description of you, who you are and what you’re looking for,” she read from the screen.
“You want to be honest but use language that’s evocative.” Dottie nodded for emphasis.
“Evocative, huh?” Linny gave her a knowing glance. “Mama, you studied that article.”
Dottie tossed a log on the fire and goosed it with a stick, pretending not to hear her.
“I have to describe myself?” Ruby asked, her eyes wide.
“Yup,” Dessie said. “We need to start with a physical description.”
Ruby looked away for a moment. “Well, I’m overweight by forty pounds. . . .”
“You’re curvy,” Dottie suggested and took a swallow of her iced tea. “You’re a smart, curvy blonde with a bubbly laugh and big blue eyes.”
“Oh my. I like how I’m sounding,” Ruby said, her eyes dancing.
“Keep it coming, ladies.” Dessie’s fingers flew. “What do you do for fun? What are your hobbies and interests?”
“Don’t say long walks on the beach and moonlight. They all say that,” Dottie advised.
Dessie piped up, “How about enjoys trying new things, spending time at home, weekend getaways, and family get-togethers?”
“Good, good.” Ruby bobbed her head so hard her camp chair wobbled.
“We should put some man bait in there, too,” Dottie said, raising both eyebrows. “How about Enjoys boat rides, makes excellent fried chicken and mashed potatoes, and reads James Patterson and David Baldacci.” Looking thoughtful, she put a finger to her cheek and added, “Looking for marriage-minded man to spend the best years of our lives.”
Linny whistled. “Mama, that’s great man bait!”
Dessie tapped away, then explained to Linny, “It’s mostly true about Ruby, too. I’d say she endured boat rides more than enjoyed them, but that’s close enough.”
“I know what men like,” her mother said with a slightly superior smile. “It’s all right there in those God’s Blessing Inspirational Romances.”
Later that night the four women got cozy in their respective beds. “I brought 9 to 5. I just loved Dolly in that movie,” said Ruby as she turned on her iPad.
Linny also had a movie going but had pulled out the earbuds and eavesdropped, enjoying listening to the friends talk. She liked her sleeping nook, which was underneath and off to the side of the spacious over-the-cab bedroom that the girls had already dubbed the Penthouse.
Mama had quickly warmed to the whole internet dating idea once Dessie showed her the statistics on how many people met their spouses online.
From the dining room table that had been converted into her bunk with the push of a button, Dessie glanced up from her screen and called, “Between the RV site, Matching Destinies, Nifty over Fifty, and Christian Single No More, we ought to get some nibbles on the line.” She chortled. “We’ll reel them in and look for a keeper.”
“I’m tickled to death,” Ruby said, sounding sleepy. “Do you think I should join the dating site for farmers?”
Linny eyed her. Ruby wore some sort of lacy peignoir to bed and had hogged the bathroom with an elaborate skin routine before bed. She just couldn’t picture Ruby riding beside a farmer on his tractor.
“I’m not sure that’s you, Ruby,” Dessie said, ever the diplomat.
“You may be right,” Ruby said, stifling a yawn. “We need to get some better pictures of me tomorrow, though. Those artsy ones Linny took by the campfire just made me look sunburned.”
Just then, Mama sat up straighter in the Penthouse, frowned and waved her arms to get Linny’s attention. Startled, Linny pulled her earbuds all the way out and stared. Her mother had slipped on one of those protect-your-hairdo sleep bonnets like the Wolf wore when he was trying to convince Red Riding Hood that he was her grandmother. Must have ordered them from the same store where she’d gotten her sunglasses: the one that catered to women trying to dress like their grandmothers. But Linny just smiled. “Yes? May I help you?”