by Rolfe, Bill
“Claire, it’s me. Jennifer…” He paused but didn’t need to finish his sentence.
“I’m sorry, Daniel. She’s no longer in any pain and in a better place now. Go for a walk and let Brenda handle everything. I’m sorry, but I have to rush back to someone. I’ll be over as soon as I’m off, okay?”
“Yeah, of course. Um…okay. I’ll be okay,” he tried to reassure himself.
Claire wanted to spend more time talking to him, but it wasn’t a good day in the ward either. Daniel could hear others calling for her in the background.
He hung up the phone and awkwardly wandered through the kitchen then around to his room. He felt a slight ringing in his ears. Everything seemed more present. There was tightness in his stomach, and he was uncomfortable remaining in the house. He took Claire’s advice and went outside. Removing himself from the house and allowing the caregivers to routinely handle what he could not fully comprehend was his best option.
Claire arrived long before dark this time. She made a point of it, to make up for her tardiness the day before with Brenda and to speak with Daniel about the day’s events. They talked about Jennifer’s death and the feelings he endured from the experience. Claire had no easy answers to soften the pain and confusion.
“How do you do this every day?” he begged, attempting to alleviate his anguish.
“I just do, and move on to try and help the next child. I think that’s why I work so much sometimes.” She stared into the distance. “Maybe I’m afraid to stop and take it all in.”
After a moment’s pause, she grabbed his hand. “You know, I’ve been thinking about you all day.”
“Really?”
“Yes, and I thought it would be nice if we took a walk down to the water.”
They went outside for some fresh air and a reprieve from their somber discussion. Descending the naturally carved-out pathway to the water’s edge, they joked with each other about nothing of importance, trying to lift each other’s spirits. To a spectator, they would have appeared as a couple that had been together all their lives. To each other, it started to feel as though they could be, from this night forward.
They slipped off their shoes and stepped into the cold water, playfully kicking and splashing it at each other. They agreed to a momentary truce and shared the sunset, which felt warm against their faces. Their bodies warmed as they edged closer together.
Claire turned to Daniel. “I guess, under better circumstances, being alone tonight wouldn’t be such a bad thing.”
Then it happened—their first kiss.
Their lips slid passionately across each other’s and both struggled to stay on their feet. Their hands locked together tightly and neither wanted to stop long enough to move onto dry land despite the freezing water. They broke apart only to look into each other’s eyes and then climbed hand in hand back to the house.
Standing next to the bed, they struggled to pull away from each other’s lips. Their words were unspoken but they understood their mutual feelings. Claire undressed Daniel, and his clothes dropped to the floor. Daniel slid the straps of the summer dress over her shoulders, and it fell gently to her feet. After a moment, they fell to the bed in a passionate embrace. With so much pent-up longing now released, they made love into the night. Then they slept in each other’s arms.
* * *
The bed beside him was empty, but Daniel awoke with a full heart. A note rested on the pillow from Claire: “Thank you for a wonderful evening, and I’ll see you tonight.”
He heard no other sounds in the house and was thankful to be alone. Avoiding a trip up the stairs, he executed his chores on the main floor. He could finally see progress, although there was still work to be done. Daniel focused on simpler repairs: cupboard door hinges that needed tightening or lubrication to stop the eerie squeaking when opened, and a cutting board that needed realignment to slide back fully into the kitchen counter.
By early afternoon, the sound of a car pulling up to the house reminded him of his fears. This time, there was not one visitor, but two. He recognized Brenda’s car but not the second. It was a family member who had followed behind her, in a rusted, old, decrepit car. As they exited their vehicles, Daniel opened the door to reluctantly welcome them.
Brenda started the introductions. “Good day, Daniel. These are the Hendersons. Steven has come to stay with us.”
Daniel wiped his hands on a rag he carried in his back pocket and forced a smile with which to greet the approaching family. The parents appeared to be aged well beyond their years. He could sympathize with the reason. Their daughter helped Steven from the car. He was frail but happy to be with her. Hand in hand, they entered the house and Brenda directed them upstairs.
“Thank you very much for your kindness in allowing Steven to stay here,” his mother said. Her husband appeared too shy to comment and just nodded.
“You’re welcome. Please come in.” These were the only words Daniel could manage.
Reaching for his keys, he informed Brenda that he would be going into town to purchase more materials for the house.
Driving, he struggled to gather inner strength and tried to think of how to spend the next few hours before he could return home. His discomfort with the house guests was more manageable with Claire at his side.
After walking around the town and purchasing a few items, he traveled the road slowly home. It was dark by the time he turned into the driveway. He had left no chance of beating Claire to the house.
He entered quietly and, heading toward the bedroom, heard the sound of water running into a sink. Claire was washing her face before bed.
He called out to her, “So how was your day?”
He startled her, catching her in a private moment. She quickly wiped her face with the towel. “Good, dear. How was yours? Did you get everything from town?”
Daniel immediately noticed the redness in her eyes and traces of tears she was washing from her face. He felt her pain, seeing the visible effect of her work for the first time.
He pretended he hadn’t noticed.
“Oh, the day was good, and I just had a few things to grab for the house.”
After a moment of silence, Daniel glanced up toward the top floor and asked, “Is everything okay?”
“Oh yes, Steven is asleep now. His family just left. They’re very nice people.”
In the kitchen over tea, they discussed the house, repairs, paint, and everything that would keep them off the topic that was really on their mind. Daniel could tell it was a long day for Claire, so he suggested they turn in early. Claire entered the bedroom with Daniel close behind. They dimmed the lights and sank into much-needed sleep.
* * *
By morning, the last few days had seemed like a lifetime ago. Daniel wondered if he could get used to this caregiving lifestyle. Claire suggested that they meet for lunch in town. He jumped at the opportunity to get away from the house and to avoid a long day without her. They agreed to meet at the diner where they had shared their first meal together.
Daniel wasn’t too concerned about the quality of the work in his chores. His mind was on Claire. He wondered if they should talk more seriously about their new relationship, or if it was too soon to bring the subject up. He would test the waters first to see if the opportunity might arise, but he wouldn’t push it. After completing a few odd jobs, he showered and headed for town to meet his date.
Lunch helped Daniel learn even more about his newfound love—her passion for helping others, life growing up in a small community, and being an only child. She spoke candidly.
“Would you ever consider moving? I mean, there are lots of children in New York that could use your help.” While he asked casually, she recognized the seriousness in his voice.
“New York. That’s a long way from home for me.”
The door was open but he waited until another day to continue such a discussion.
He returned home after lunch, enjoying the scenery and the meeting with Claire. But
joy was precious and didn’t seem to last long for him these days. Passing him in the opposite direction down his long and bending driveway was an ambulance, then a car he recognized from the day before. At first he sped up, but there was no rush to get home. Brenda was leaving as he pulled up to the house.
“I saw the ambulance.”
She nodded her head. “Have a good evening,” she said then marched to her car and drove away.
He wondered where her strength was kept, or if she had just given up caring after so many years. He called Claire and was assured once again that the patient had gone to a better place. She offered to make him supper when she returned, but he refused. He would have her dinner ready when she arrived.
“I can’t wait to be there,” she replied.
He hoped the time would pass quickly. He searched for small jobs to avoid the room before her arrival. Downstairs was already clean and only required a few more minor repairs and some fresh paint.
He spent the next few hours tidying the unused second-level rooms, sweeping and taking things to the basement, such as desk lamps left on the floor and some old clothing that hung in the inset closets. After several trips up and down the stairs, he was drawn to the glass room by a curiosity he found hard to resist. Brenda had kept it well. He stared out the windows at the sunlit waves, trying to steal a moment of peace. He sat on the bed and closed his eyes, letting the light warm his face and thoughts. He then realized that Claire would return soon and he hadn’t prepared dinner as promised.
The finishing touches were on the table when Claire’s car entered the driveway. He rushed to light the candles in hopes of instigating a romantic evening. As he opened the door with a flourish, he was thrilled to see Claire but noticeably shaken by her companion.
Holding her hand stood a little girl with a teddy bear and big smile. She was unlike the other visitors. This girl appeared healthy. Daniel struggled with his initial thoughts and wondered if Claire had a family that she had never mentioned.
“Please come in,” he welcomed them, speaking downward toward the girl.
“Daniel, I would like you to meet Isabelle.”
“Well hello, Isabelle. I hope you are joining us for dinner this evening.”
She gestured her approval to Claire who instructed her to wash up and join them in the kitchen.
This left them with a moment for her to explain. “I’m sorry dear—this just came up.”
His hope of this being a healthy visitor was shattered.
“But she doesn’t seem sick.”
“Isabelle’s been in and out of the hospital for years. I’ve watched her grow up there. She has a heart condition that deteriorates with age, and a donor hasn’t been matched yet.”
“I’m hungry. Can someone read to me?” Isabelle announced as she appeared from the washroom.
“Then let’s eat.” Claire grabbed Daniel’s hand and led him to the kitchen.
The three enjoyed a dinner and conversation about the house, the city’s buildings, and Isabelle’s favorite ice cream flavors. She was a talkative child. There was no shyness in her demeanor. She asked a lot of questions and keenly requested opinions from her companions during discussions.
“Well, it’s getting late. Let’s go see your room, sweetheart.”
Claire took her upstairs while Daniel retired to his room. He listened again through the vent as Claire read one of the many books the little girl had brought with her. He was almost asleep when Claire climbed into the bed. She curled up tight, and their tired bodies easily found the strength to join for another night.
Chapter 8
* * *
“Are you getting up now?” Isabelle stood at the foot of the bed with a book in hand. Morning had arrived.
“Can somebody read this one to me?” she begged with her darling eyes. She never had to put on an act. Her natural beauty and innocent charm urged people to spoil her.
“Go back to your room, dear, and I’ll come read it to you,” Claire said.
As she began to sit up, she turned to Daniel. “Oh, I’m going to be working from home for a couple of days, if that’s okay with you?” she said, knowing approval wasn’t necessary.
The announcement made it easier for both of them to get up from such a pleasurable night of companionship.
The trio enjoyed each other’s stories and company. Isabelle took naps throughout the day, leaving Claire an opportunity to help Daniel with work around the house. It gave Daniel a chance to learn more about the little girl.
“She sure seems to like it when people read to her.”
“She loves stories. I think she’d read a whole library if she could.”
“Isn’t she old enough to read?”
“She is old enough, but no one ever taught her how.” This was a cruel reminder of what was expected of her life.
“Are her parents coming to visit?”
“She doesn’t really have any. She was left at an orphanage when she was an infant. I think her birth-mom was quite young and a single parent. She probably felt overwhelmed with all the health issues and thought it was best.”
“So, does she have foster parents?”
“No. She remains a child of the queen. The good news is that they pay all the bills. She has spent the last three years at the hospital. We send her back to the orphanage from time to time to interact with other children. But after a couple of days, she needs rest and we bring her back.”
A frustrated little voice broke the moment of silence. “Are you coming to read this today, Claire?” Isabelle shouted down from the top stair.
Claire smiled and rolled her eyes at Daniel. “I’m coming, Little Miss Impatient.”
* * *
A few days went by and regular routines began to form. The mornings always began with reading a story to Isabelle. Claire would help Daniel with minor repairs around the house. In the evening after supper, Claire would read another story to Isabelle. Claire had known her longer than any other patient, and their bond was strong. The three shared all their meal times together and often sat on the front porch during the day, eating sandwiches and taking in the afternoon sun. Isabelle would often request an extra story be read during the day and frequently carried a spare book around with her just in case the appeal was granted.
She was a great listener and never interrupted the performance. Even if she had heard the story a hundred times before, she always lay back with her eyes closed, imagining that she was one of the characters in the book.
By the end of the week, they almost responded to each other as a young family. Daniel offered to take his two ladies out to dinner on a date.
Isabelle spoke openly to Daniel during supper about her family and then asked, “Where do your parents live? In the United States?”
“Actually, they live in heaven,” he replied without much feeling in his words.
“Well, then they’re in a good place. If you’re good, you’ll get to be with them again one day.” Her words were far too mature for a child of her age.
He wasn’t sure how to respond and smiled at Claire in appreciation for introducing the little girl into his life.
“I may never see my real parents again, but I have people who take care of me like parents at the hospital.” She finished her sentence and immediately turned to Claire with a smile.
Daniel and Claire surprised Isabelle on the ride home with a trip to the ice cream shop for her favorite treat. While traveling the winding road home and enjoying the dessert, Isabelle asked, “Daniel, can you read me a story tonight?”
This made Daniel feel both flattered and uncomfortable, but Claire squeezed his hand to assure him that he was capable of performing the task.
They arrived back at the house and Isabelle rushed to her room to pick out a special story and to get ready for Daniel’s first reading. Claire was downstairs in bed awaiting him and discovered what he had failed to mention in the past—sounds carried through the vent. The nervousness was apparent in his voice, but
Isabelle would never recognize it.
Claire listened with a gentle smile and fell asleep long before Isabelle did.
After his audience fell asleep peacefully, Daniel left the room quietly and sat alone in the kitchen, absorbing the evening and imagining what a life with Claire and a family would be like. He discovered Isabelle’s teddy still at the table from a previous meal and took it back to the room. Once it was returned under her arm, he scanned the night and hoped to himself that she was strong enough to stay in this world for a long time to come.
* * *
Claire woke him in the morning with a kiss and thanked him for the date the night before. She had to return to the hospital, but Brenda would arrive soon.
He went back to sleep briefly but was awoken again later, this time by Brenda’s music and voice in the vent. It was time to get ready for the day. Brenda passed him with a morning greeting and asked if she could borrow his kitchen sink to wash some belongings.
“Of course you can,” he offered a neighborly grin.
He failed to notice Isabelle creep up behind him, “Are you going to read to me today?”
Before he could answer, Brenda intervened. “Isabelle, I just finished a story for you. I told you, one after lunch, but until then, you need to get some rest.”
Daniel interjected, “That’s okay. I need a good story this morning anyway. You go upstairs and climb into bed. I’ll be up in a minute, but I get to pick the story this time.”
This twist from the norm excited little Isabelle and she rushed up to the room.
“Brenda, I just wanted to say that I have a lot of respect for the things you do for these children.”
Brenda quickly shrugged off the compliment. “It’s my job.”
Daniel knew she took a lot of pride in it and accepted that she might not want to have this discussion. “Well, I just wanted to say that, and if you need anything else here, please let me know. Oh and what’s with that flute music you’re always listening to?”