Now, I felt a little uneasy. She was really scrutinizing the place, and I wasn’t a clean freak or anything. My mind whirred as I tried to remember if I had anything embarrassing lying around.
She crossed to my bed and looked at the intricately patterned teal-and-green quilt. “This is beautiful. I always wanted a quilt.”
“My Abuela … um, grandmother, quilted it for me when I was little,” I said. “My father’s mother.”
She nodded. “Your dad is Hispanic?”
“He was. Mexican with a smidge of Cherokee. Mama is full-blooded Italian, though. I’d like to claim that side of my heritage more, but with a name like Espinoza … .” I trailed off with a shrug.
“Why? Because being Italian would be more exotic?”
“Nah. Nothing like that.”
I hesitated, but then thought what the hell? This was about letting her into my family, and the more she knew about me, the more believable it would be to Mama that Edie was someone special.
She was someone special.
I cleared my throat, and shifted from foot to foot. “Mama’s the one who raised us, ya know? Papa was always on the road, working. He died around 10 years ago.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. We’ve had plenty of time to deal. Besides, it’s hard to mourn someone you barely knew, you know? He was gone so often I often felt like Mama was my only parent.”
“So you didn’t have an absolutely perfect family either,” Edie said softly.
“Of course not. No one does, you know.”
She smiled. “Your mother is something special, though. I could tell that right away.”
I nodded. “She’s amazing,” I agreed. “Which is why I’d like to claim my Italian side first and foremost.”
“Well, then to me, Nickie, you’ll be a fiery Italian from here on out,” she said with a wink.
I laughed, feeling an odd flutter in my chest to hear her use my family nickname. She’d loosened up so much since we met.
“You know, I usually only let girls call me Nickie after they sleep with me.”
She gasped in mock outrage. “But I sleep with you every night, Nickie.”
The door opened midway through her joke.
Tony smirked at us, obviously having heard our little wordplay without the proper context.
Edie’s cheeks went pink, and before she gave in to the urge to clarify the situation, I went into damage-control mode.
“Hey, Tony, can I have a word?” I said, grabbing his arm and pushing him into the hall.
I glanced back at Edie. “I’ll be right back. Have a look around my room. Mama hasn’t changed a thing about it since I moved out.”
Edie looked startled and turned to examine the walls.
I shoved the door shut behind us, and Tony raised his eyebrows at me.
“What’s up with you?”
“Nothing. What do you mean?
“You’re jumpy.”
“Am not,” I said quickly. Then chuckled at Tony’s disbelieving smile. I did sound like a defensive 7-year-old. “Okay, so maybe I’m a little nervous.”
“She’s not your usual type, is she?” Tony said, and I shot him a hard look. He lifted his hands up in peace and backed up a step. “No offense meant, bro. I just mean … she seems pretty down to earth. I like that.”
“Oh … yeah, I guess.”
He had a point. My exes tended to be a little more high-maintenance — makeup and nice clothes and styled hair. That made me feel superficial, but for the most part I’d only been with girls who had pursued me. I’d never really worked for a relationship. Even Elana had made the first move.
“So, what did you want to tell me?” he asked.
I turned and started down the hall, and he fell into step.
“Listen, Edie and I are still figuring things out, and she’s a little skittish—”
“No wonder she’s skittish. Look who she’s with!” Tony joked, as we walked into the kitchen where Mama was gossiping to Cynthia, who must have just arrived.
“I can’t wait to get to know this girl, Cyn. She seemed so sweet!”
I grimaced at Mama’s gushing. It was going to be tough to keep her from blowing my tiny fib out of the water. If she was too excited, Edie would catch on that everyone believed we were involved.
After last night, we were involved, as far as I was concerned. Edie probably wouldn’t agree, though.
“Oy! The Cynner returns!” I called.
Cyn turned a grin in my direction. Her blond curls were an unruly mess floating around her head as usual, but somehow it worked for her, setting off her blue eyes and giant smile just right. Her coloring was similar to Mama’s, though she was only a niece by marriage.
“Oh look, it’s the lover boy!” she teased back.
“Now look, guys. Eeds is um ... nervous, ya know? So if you could just go easy on the whole girlfriend, relationship comments, it’d really help. It’s probably too early to be meeting the parents, but Mama was dying to meet the woman in my life, so she wouldn’t lose all hope of becoming a grandmamma someday.”
Cyn laughed while Mama scolded with me with a playful, “Nickie, you’re awful!”
I felt a twinge of guilt for lying. It seemed extreme to go so far to get Mama off my back about a girlfriend, but I hoped she’d tell Elana. If she believed I’d moved on, she might stop trying to call me.
“Where is Edie anyway?” Cynthia asked. “She climbing out the window for a quick getaway?”
“Crap! I left her in my room—”
“Uh-oh,” Cyn teased. “Better hope she doesn’t find your porn.”
Mama turned quickly to the stove, humming. It was her habit to block us out when we turned to subjects of which she didn’t approve. We were on a real roll today.
“Very funny,” I said, turning to go. “You know I keep that stuff on the cloud.”
Cynthia and Tony broke into laughter, while Mama shook her head and sang a little louder.
EDIE
“Sorry, sorry!”
Nick burst into the room, startling me as I snickered at his high school yearbook. He was pretty hot his senior year, but man … nobody looked good as a freshman.
“Didn’t mean to take so long—”
He paused and looked down, then abruptly yanked the yearbook from my hands.
“How hard did you look for that? I didn’t even know I still had it.”
He stared at his picture and shuddered. He’d actually been cute enough, just scrawny with super short hair that made his ears look huge.
“Are you like a bad-photo-seeking missile or something?”
He tossed the book on his bed and grabbed my hand. “Come to the kitchen. I’ll introduce you to Cyn.”
“Interesting, usually you find sin in the bedroom.”
Nick stared at me blankly, as if he couldn’t understand why I’d say such a thing, and I suddenly felt super embarrassed.
“You know. Introducing me to sin. It was just a joke!”
“Oh! No,” he said with a laugh. “Cyn as in Cynthia. In the kitchen.”
Awkward.
“Oh.” I forced a laugh.
“But I’d be more than happy to introduce you to the other type of sin anytime in any room,” he said with a smirk as he led me out of the bedroom.
My cheeks blazed in embarrassment, but he didn’t notice. As soon as we stepped into the hall, he launched into orders not to look at any more photos, and I was more than happy for the subject change.
Seeing his room had been amazing, and it made me realize he was right. I wasn’t overreacting about my family. Nick had been out of the house for years, and his mother still kept his room ready for him. Nick told me Debra had already converted my room into another use.
When I left my mom’s to live with Dad, she didn’t keep my room at all. In fact, she moved into a smaller place that had no space for me at all. I guess it was her way of saying that there was no going back.
We re
ached the dining room, and Nick’s brother and a pretty blond girl who I assumed must be Cynthia were stuffing their faces with pickles and olives.
“You must be Edie!” Cynthia jumped up with a big smile, and her gaze swept over me. “Wow, not what I expected at all. Nick usually—”
Nick cleared his throat loudly, and shook his head, interrupting her. Her eyes flicked to him and back to me.
“Nick usually what?” I prompted.
“Oh um … he just usually hangs out with … guys.”
Her words fell flat and awkward. She was probably going to say Nick usually spent time with pretty girls. The way she’d looked me over made me feel it was something about my appearance that wasn’t what she expected.
I shrugged it off as best I could, feeling a little uncomfortable.
“I know I’m probably not the type of girl you guys usually see Nick spending time with,” I said. “He really wanted me to meet you so he could show me what a great family he has.”
Nick shot me a look. “That’s not what she meant.”
“Girls?” Cyn laughed. “What girls? This guy has been a stranger lately. Don’t think I’ve met a girlfriend in two years. Right, Nick? What was her name?”
I was expecting him to say Elana, though I had assumed she’d be more recent. Maybe he’d just never introduced her to the family.
“You mean Mel? Yeah, been a couple of years. That was senior year of college.”
God, I forgot how much older he was until he said stuff like that. I hadn’t even begun college, and he was already two years out.
“C’mon, sit,” Nick said, and pulled out a chair for me.
I eased into it, watching Tony watch me. He quirked a small grin and nudged the olive dish closer. “Feel free.”
“Thanks.”
I grabbed a couple of green olives and popped one in my mouth while Nick sat down next to me. Cynthia returned to the kitchen to help with some prep work, and I wondered if I should be doing something.
“The grill all set?” Nick asked Tony.
“Yup. Just getting good and hot. We’ll be eating in no time.”
“Cool.”
The next few minutes passed in trash talking between Tony and Nick, but it was endearing. I’d never had siblings to tease, and Nick and Tony seemed to really get into it. It made me wonder where the oldest Espinoza boy was.
“Where’s your other brother?”
They both stopped abruptly and stared. Their reaction made me question myself.
“There were three of you in that picture in the hall, right? A blond boy … ?”
“Dude. You didn’t tell her?” Tony asked incredulously.
“It never came up,” Nick said, a tad defensively. “It’s not exactly an easy conversation topic.”
“Still, if you guys are—”
“Tony,” he said warningly.
“I’m sorry, did I say something wrong?” he asked through clenched teeth.
“Just ease up,” Nick said.
Even with his skin tone, I could see a flush of anger creep up Tony’s neck. His hands fisted on the table briefly, before he shoved his chair back and stood.
“Whatever. I gotta check the grill.”
He stormed through the patio door, slamming it shut loudly and I jumped.
Nick put his hand over mine.
“Sorry about that,” he said. “Our brother, Gabriel, died about a year and a half ago. I guess we’re still not used to talking about it. It hit us all really hard.”
I squeezed his hand. “I’m so sorry, Nick. I didn’t mean to upset anybody.”
“He’s not upset with you. He’s peeved I didn’t tell you, that’s all. I probably should have mentioned it when you were looking at the photo, but we were laughing. I didn’t want to bring down the mood.”
“Hey, it’s okay. I totally understand why you might not want to talk about it. You don’t have to tell me everything.” I shrugged a shoulder. “But you can talk to me about him if you want.”
“Thanks, that means a lot.”
NICK
Everything fell apart in the middle of dinner.
That was when Elana made her surprise appearance, her doe eyes filmed over with tears and locked conspicuously on me and Edie.
Up to that point, things had been smoother than I could have imagined. Edie was amazed by Mama’s handmade pasta and Tony’s grilled chicken and vegetables in the tasty pasta primavera dish that had been a staple in our household for years. I could tell Mama was likewise charmed by Edie’s appreciation. The surest way to Mama’s heart is through praise for her cooking.
“Hi, everybody.”
Elana stepped into the dining room, staring at us all sitting around the dining table like a stray who had to beg for scraps.
I’d specifically planned the family dinner for a time when Elana wasn’t available. I missed a lot of family time so I could avoid Elana, but the occasional Sunday evening was usually a safe bet.
The food in my mouth became difficult to swallow. I grabbed my glass of white wine and took a deep gulp.
Don’t panic, Nick. She isn’t supposed to be here, but that doesn’t mean—
“I thought you had a study group on Sunday evenings?” Cyn said, exchanging a confused look with Mama.
My mother looked confused too, but underlying that was serious concern. That worried me. If Mama started digging for answers, none of us were going to like what she discovered.
“It got canceled, and I thought I’d just pop by. I didn’t realize Nickie would be here.”
Her eyes welled with tears, and I thought I might be sick in my pasta. I carefully put down my fork, avoiding Elana’s eye.
“And E.D., too. That’s … nice for you,” she managed in a shaky voice.
Shit. Shit, shit, shit. How could I get out of this one? Maybe placating her would work. I looked up and met her gaze and offered a tentative smile.
“Hi, El. Good to see you.”
Her lip quivered, and a tear spilled down her cheek.
“Elana, honey, what is it?” Mama asked, leaping out of her chair with stunning agility and rushing to Elana’s side to pet her hair and wrap an arm around her shoulders.
I’d been carefully avoiding Edie’s eye, afraid of what she might see. But she leaned forward, and I instinctively turned toward her.
“You okay?” she mouthed at me, grabbing my hand and squeezing it.
I nodded, even though I wasn’t, and squeezed back, quickly returning my gaze to my plate.
“I’m sorry,” Elana said. “Seeing them together just reminded me of what I’ve lost is all.”
She stood up quickly.
“I’m sorry,” she repeated, and rushed from the room.
“Oh, dear,” Mama murmured. “I’d better go after her.”
The table went uncomfortably silent.
Edie watched Mama hustle down the hall, while Cynthia studied me a little too closely for comfort. Tony kept eating, plowing through his meal as if nothing had happened. Oh, to be 17 and self-absorbed. Then again, that attitude is what got me in this mess — and the one with Edie.
I’d been so selfish, and I’d never even seen it before I met Edie. I’d seen my troubles with Elana as something that happened to me, not something I’d done to myself.
“Nick?” Edie asked quietly.
I couldn’t answer. Cyn was the one who ultimately gave her the missing pieces to put together the jumbled pieces of my mess.
“Elana’s husband died a little over a year ago. Gabe was my cousin, Nick’s brother … he was in a car accident.”
“Oh.” Edie looked horrified.
I could see her putting each fact into context. My brother was dead. Elana was a widow, not my ex-girlfriend. And yet she had shown up at my apartment desperate to talk to me. Edie knew we had some kind of history.
She looked over, and the second our gazes met, I could see the truth click behind her eyes. She pulled her hand from mine.
“I’m
so sorry,” she said, and pushed back from the table. She looked as unsettled as I felt. “I need … the bathroom.”
She rushed in the opposite direction from Mama and Elana.
Also the opposite direction of the nearest bathroom.
I quickly excused myself to follow her, my heart pounding and my mind a chaotic mess.
Edie knew the truth. I’d seen it all over her face, the realization I was a scumbag who’d been messing around with his brother’s wife. I felt shame sweep through me.
“Uh … I better make sure she can find it,” I said hastily.
I escaped before Cyn could start asking questions. She had the best bullshit detector in the family, and I didn’t want to test my lies now.
It was possible Edie would out me to the whole family, and that thought terrified me. But it wasn’t the only thing bothering me. Edie was horrified by me, by my actions. She must think I’m the lowest of the low. And this had me feeling even sicker than I had before.
I had to try to explain, at least a little. She had to understand I felt terrible and guilty and … she just had to know I wasn’t a jerk who would sleep with his brother’s wife with no remorse.
And she had to keep my secret. The thought of Mama’s face if she found out the truth … God, I couldn’t deal.
I hurried after Edie, tracking her down in a hallway by the guest bedroom. “Edie!”
She whirled to face me.
“How could you?” she asked, poking me in the chest hard with her index finger. “Your family thinks I’m your girlfriend, don’t they? Is all of this—” she waved a hand between us, “—about throwing them off the trail? I thought you really wanted to show me how a good family could be, but you’re just as dysfunctional as I am!”
“Please calm down. I’ll answer your questions, just … not here.”
I didn’t want to talk in the hall, where anyone might stumble into our conversation. Opening a door to the left, I nudged her inside.
“Well?” she challenged as soon as the door clicked shut.
“It’s not what you think.”
She folded her arms across her chest, eyebrow arched imperiously.
I’d never seen Edie look so furious. It was a little bit scary and a little bit sexy at the same time. I was one sick bastard to be thinking it, but God I wanted to kiss the girl again.
Earning Edie (Espinoza Boys #1) Page 17