Earning Edie (Espinoza Boys #1)

by D. J. Jamison

  Jaime had a first-row seat to my low spirits after leaving Nick’s apartment, mainly because I’d been staying at his house for most of that time.

  I sighed. “We need to stop blaming ourselves. Nick’s big mouth is to blame. I still can’t believe he did that!”

  Jaime squeezed my thigh. “Easy, girl. It’s done. Now, I just have to figure out how to deal with it.”

  “I’ll help you however I can.”

  He forced a smile. “I know you will.”

  He gazed out over the water thoughtfully for a long moment before speaking again.

  “You know, when you told me about what happened with Nick and you, and how he tried to manipulate you into bed so he could use you as an escape and lie to his family …”

  “Yeah, you asked if he was gay.”

  Jaime barked a laugh. “I knew he wasn’t gay. I’ve met him enough times to see there was no interest there. But when he looks at you …” Jaime turned to face me fully. “You forgot to tell me that he wanted you for real, Edie. That he cared.”

  I made a face. “He was trying to use me, Jaime. He pretended to his family we were dating, and when I didn’t want to lie for him, he said it didn’t have to be a lie and tried to get me in bed.”

  “Sounds like he was telling the truth.”

  I gaped at him. “What do you mean?”

  “Did it ever occur to you that when he said it didn’t have to be a lie, he actually meant, he didn’t want it to be a lie. That maybe he wanted a real relationship with you?”

  “Uh ... no?” I said. And we both laughed.

  “Do you have feelings for him?” Jaime asked.

  I shrugged a shoulder. “Maybe. I don’t know. I’m pretty mad at him. It’s like he just doesn’t stop and think sometimes, you know? I think he has a good heart, but he’s made so many bad choices. And after tonight, I’m not sure he’d want to see me again. I was pretty hard on him.”

  “Eh, he deserved it.”

  “Yeah.”

  I was at least partly to blame for putting us in this situation. If I’d answered Nick’s calls and texts, he wouldn’t have been so desperate to corner me tonight. Maybe none of this would have happened.

  Feeling the need for a subject change, I nudged Jaime.

  “What about you? Are you longing for a member of the Espinoza family yourself?”

  He shoved my shoulder. “Shut up!”

  I laughed. “You are.”

  He glanced down the beach, to where Tony and Lil stood skipping stones across the water.

  “I’ve been outed enough tonight. Please don’t tell Tony I think he’s …” he stopped and shook his head.

  “Totally hot?” I supplied.

  “And totally sweet,” he added.

  “I know, right?”

  He sighed, watching Tony with Lil.

  “I’ve got no chance. No doubt, he likes them a little more like you and a little less like me,” Jaime said. “Maybe he’ll hook up with Lily. They’re getting friendly down there.”

  “Well, let’s bust up the party and go home.”

  “Nah. I wanna hang here. You go ahead. Take Lil.”

  I smirked. “Okay, but you take Tony.”

  I headed down the beach while Jaime called after me to shut my big trap. When I reached Lily, I snagged her arm.

  “Time to go,” I said, and tugged her away without so much as glancing at Tony.

  He could return to his spot with Jaime, or he could find his own way home. I wasn’t going to invite him along.

  “What about—”

  “Don’t. You already dated his cousin.”

  “Yeah, okay. Maybe we’ve had enough of that family,” she agreed.

  NICK

  I kicked an empty cup angrily, but the satisfaction of watching it fly across dirt and scrubby dead grass was short-lived.

  “Shit!” I tugged at my hair in frustration. Why did this keep happening? It was like Edie short-circuited my damned brain.

  Continuing on to my car, wrapped in a cycle of self-loathing and frustration, I almost didn’t notice the couple at the edge of the parking area, tucked between a dark sedan and a bright yellow Hummer that reflected the moonlight, catching my eye.

  Something made me stop. I couldn’t hear their words, but the tone of their conversation had the hairs prickling on the back of my neck.

  I turned and headed in their direction, walking between rows of cars. Before long, I could hear them clearly.

  “I want to go home,” the girl pleaded.

  “Come on, babe. You promised me a good time.”

  My jaw tightened. I hated pushy assholes. The guy pressed closer to her, and bent down to kiss her. She twisted to avoid him, and that’s when I saw her face. Oh, shit.

  “Tequila?”

  Her frightened eyes met mine, and I could tell she didn’t recognize me right away. The asshole stepped back and turned toward me.

  “What do you want?”

  “For starters, you can stop being an asshole. If a girl wants to go home, you take her home.”

  “Fuck off—”

  I grabbed the kid’s arm and yanked him away from Tequila. He looked to be 16, at most. That was too young for this party and too old for a 13-year-old.

  “I think you should take your own advice, and get out of here before I knock you on your ass. Do you realize touching this girl is a crime? She’s 13 years old, idiot. You could have a sexual offense record for the rest of your life—”

  “She wanted it!”

  “No, I didn’t, Tyrone!” I glanced over to Tequila, whose eyes were wide and full of pleading. “Nick, I swear!”

  I hated to see her so uncertain, as if she thought I’d actually believe this asshole over her. I pushed Tyrone against the side of the Hummer in disgust.

  “I believe you,” I told Tequila. “But, hey, Tyrone, a word of advice. Even if Tequila had been okay with it, it’s still a crime. So be smart, and stick to girls your own age.”

  Tyrone shoved me with more strength than I expected, and I stumbled a couple of steps back before falling on my ass. He turned to Tequila, his hands fisted at his sides.

  “You wanna be like that, you can go home with this fucker,” he snarled, before opening the door of the sedan and climbing in. Just before closing the door, he added: “Don’t ever call me again.”

  The engine revved, and Tequila scrambled to my side, grabbing my arm as I stood and tugging me out of the way as Tyrone sped out of the parking spot. I could feel her trembling against my side, so I wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

  “Come on, I’ll give you a ride home.”

  ***

  Tequila was quiet outside of giving me directions to her home as we buckled in and I started the car. But her silence didn’t last long.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, her voice shaky. I was about to reassure her, when the rest came spilling out. “Are you going to tell me parents?”

  “Tequila…”

  “Because I won’t ever do it again, I swear. And they’ll ground me for the rest of the summer, probably. I didn’t know Tyrone was going to be like that. He was always so nice before.”

  Tears slipped down her cheeks, and I knew she had probably learned her lesson. But this was serious. She could have been assaulted tonight, and she was too young to be out without her parents’ knowledge. Maybe I was getting old, or maybe some of Edie’s responsible nature had rubbed off, but I knew I couldn’t let Tequila slide by on this one.

  “Your parents need to know—”

  “Nick, please!”

  “You can tell them, or I can, but they’re going to hear about it,” I said firmly.

  I chanced a glance in her direction. She looked miserable.

  “Keeping secrets from your family isn’t a road you want to go down,” I added. “Trust me. You won’t be happy living like that—”

  The words turned to ash in my mouth. I was a hell of a hypocrite, wasn’t I? I was the ultimate secret-keeper, but I was
beginning to realize Edie had been right all along. It wasn’t a secret I could keep from my family forever. Even if I could keep them learning the truth, that secret would eat at me for the rest of my life. I could never lay down my guilt unless I laid down the truth.

  Why the hell did she always have to be right, though?

  “Fine, whatever,” Tequila muttered.

  I reached over and squeezed her hand. “I’ll go with you to tell them, though. And I’ll tell them I don’t think you’ll go out to a party like that again for a long time.”

  She nodded. “Thanks.”

  “No more dating older guys, T.”

  Despite my scolding, she smiled. “You sound like, Edie. She always calls me T.”

  I chuckled. “She would have flipped her lid if she saw you at that party, too.”

  Tequila gaped. “She was there?”

  “Yep.”

  “But she’s not with you?”

  “With Jaime.”

  “Oh. I’m sorry,” she said, and I looked at her in surprise. She shrugged. “Jaime’s nice. I met him once when I needed a ride, but I always kind of thought Edie liked you.”

  “Nah, I’m not up to Edie standards,” I said, flashing a grin to lighten the moment. “But you better believe I’m working on it.”

  I pulled up in her driveway, and held out my hand. “Let me see your phone for a second.”

  Tequila eyed me suspiciously, but handed it over. I keyed in my contact info and sent myself a text so I’d have her info, as well.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Making sure you can get hold of me if you need me,” I said, handing her phone back. “Come on, I’ll walk you in and we’ll talk to your parents together. Then, if you need someone to talk to, you have my number, okay?”

  “Really?”

  “Really. You’ve got one more friend, T. But no more parties with older boys, okay?”

  She nodded, her eyes flooded with tears. “Okay.”

  CHAPTER 15

  NICK

  If chasing away Edie had been a wake-up call, outing Jamie was a shrill alarm. This wasn't who I wanted to be, and enough was enough.

  Taking a deep breath, I picked up the phone and called Elana.

  She sounded stunned when she answered.

  "Nick? Is everything okay?"

  I could tell from her tone she expected a family emergency, and how sad was it she believed nothing less would lead me to speak to her?

  "We need to talk, Elana. I can't keep this secret anymore. It's killing me."

  She sighed. "I've wanted to talk for a long time."

  "Sorry—"

  "No, listen. You don't have to feel so guilty. Gabe and I were already separated. No one knew, but we weren't going to make it. All that travel? I'm pretty sure he was cheating on me too."

  The news hit me hard. Gabriel had loved Elana so much. I couldn’t imagine he’d taken a separation easily. And while he was grieving for his dying marriage, I’d added another nail to the coffin.

  "Jesus, Elana," I ground out. "That doesn't change what we did. What I did to my own brother. You might have known your marriage was falling apart, but I don't have that excuse."

  Wouldn't Edie be proud to see me taking responsibility for my actions at last?

  "Yes, you did! You listened to me complain endlessly that winter. Surely you remember."

  I remembered she'd been lonely. She wanted Gabriel to be home more, and I'd planned to talk to him when he got back from his latest trip. I never got the idea their marriage was over.

  Elana’s justifications rang hollow. It wouldn’t have changed anything if I’d known. Wrong was wrong.

  "It doesn't even matter. I called a family meeting, Elana. I'm going to tell them so I can move on. I might have lost Edie over this, and I can't give up on her without even trying--"

  "You're doing this for some little girlfriend?"

  "Not only for her. For me, so I can let go of the past. I don't know if I can ever forgive myself, but hopefully I can move forward if I let this secret go. You can come to the meeting, if you want. You should have a voice--"

  "No!" Elana exclaimed. “"No, I can't. Damn it, Nick, if you hadn't avoided me all this time I could have explained sooner. Saved you the grief."

  I laughed bitterly. "Don't kid yourself. You were never going to save me any grief. He was my brother, and I betrayed him. We both did."

  "Please don't do this," she pleaded, all the fight gone from her voice.

  "I have to. I'll text you the time. If you change your mind, feel free to be there."

  "You don't get it. They’re not my blood. This will destroy the only family I have left!"

  "I’m scared, too, but I don't believe it will come to that."

  "Then you're still the naive boy I used to hurt Gabriel."

  The call disconnected. I stared at it, trying to make sense of her last words. Could that be true? Had she used me against my own brother?

  I hoped not. The Elana I knew wasn’t that calculating. Either way, it didn't change what I had to do now.

  ***

  I looked at my family, gathered in the family room to hear my big news.

  I’d arranged the family meeting to follow Sunday dinner. If I was going to get thrown out of the family, I wanted one last delicious meal before I went. My fear and guilt about Elana had already cheated me out of too many home comforts.

  Mama looked excited, her blue eyes sparkling. She was going to be disappointed with this talk. Tony looked bored; his chin propped on his hand. Cynthia, gliding back and forth in the rocker, watched me with curiosity.

  Though I’d texted the time and date, as promised, Elana wasn’t there. She hadn’t replied to my text, so I wasn’t surprised.

  “So, why the dramatic family meeting?” Tony asked in a bored voice.

  “Hush!” Mama said. “Nick has exciting news.”

  “Not exciting,” I corrected quickly. “I never said it was good news.”

  Her face fell. Cynthia’s gaze sharpened, and she stared at me.

  “Is this about the girl you brought to dinner?”

  “Not exactly,” I hedged. “Why?”

  I realized I was stalling. If I didn’t get this over with soon, I was going to bail. Wiping damp palms on my thighs, I gritted my teeth against the bile rising in my throat.

  “Actually, it doesn’t matter. This isn’t about Edie. It’s about Elana.”

  “Elana?” Mama asked.

  “And me.”

  “Elana and you?” Mama repeated.

  Cyn gasped, covering her mouth with a hand. She’d made the leap easily.

  “What. The. Fuck—” Tony started.

  “Language, Tony!” Mama snapped, before turning to me. “Start explaining yourself, Nicholas. Now.”

  All three turned to me expectantly, but I couldn’t meet their eyes. I was terrified of losing their love and respect, but I could hardly expect anything else.

  I’d made this mistake, and now it was time to face it.

  Heart pounding and palms sweating, I took a deep breath and told them.

  I told them I’d made a big mistake more than a year ago, and I’d kept it a secret ever since. I told them I’d spent a lot of time at Gabe’s garage, working on our project car, and Elana and I got to be friends while he was out working.

  “Oh, Nickie,” Mama said in the most disappointed voice I’d ever heard as the picture started to come together. Her eyes filled with tears.

  I took a deep breath, and came clean. Finally.

  “I didn’t respect Gabe’s marriage. I got involved with Elana—”

  Mama leapt out of her chair, shaking like a leaf. Everyone else jumped to their feet in response, all of us ready to catch Mama, to comfort her. She was the glue that kept our little family together, and we all knew it.

  “That’s not how I raised you, Nickie!” she said sharply, her face pale. “How could you do this to your brother?”

  She clutched at her ches
t, and my heart ached in response.

  “I’m sorry!” I blurted. “I’ve been sorry every day. I wish to God I could tell Gabriel, ask forgiveness—” My voice broke and I swallowed hard, my eyes as full as Mama’s. “I feel so guilty.”

  At the sight of Mama’s face, I felt compelled to make things clear. She looked absolutely sick about it.

  “It only happened once. I promise. But Gabe died and—”

  “Stop! I don’t want to hear anymore,” Mama said in a thick voice. Her chest heaved, and I worried I was going to give her a heart attack. Then I’d have one more thing to feel guilty about. “We’re done talking about this.”

  Tony stalked across the room, moving into my personal space.

  “I’m not done; I’m just getting started. You think you can stab your own brother in the back and get away with it just because he’s dead?”

  He pushed forward, getting in my face. “Nice try, but I’m more than happy to stand in for Gabriel on this one and beat your ass.”

  “You think I don’t wish Gabe was here to kick my ass? Hell yes, I do. So, if you want to take a swing, go ahead!”

  Tony looked ready to take me up on the offer, but Cyn inserted herself between us.

  “Guys, this isn’t helping.”

  "It's helping me," Tony snarled.

  “Me too.”

  A soft sob reached my ears, and I flicked a guilty glance in Mama’s direction. Cyn pushed at Tony’s chest again, and he relented.

  “Nah, it’d be too easy. You’d probably be relieved, taking your punishment, huh? Maybe I’ll just find Edie and hook up with her instead. Give you a dose of your own medicine.”

  “Antonio Espinoza! You will do no such thing,” Mama scolded.

  Her eyes were still red, but she squared her shoulders and looked between us. “There will be no fighting. I thought I taught you boys to love and respect each other. You’re supposed to be best friends, not … this.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said hoarsely. “I can’t even explain why it happened—“

  “Because you’re a dick?” Tony asked sarcastically.

  “Maybe you could give him a break,” Cynthia said, coming to my defense. “He’s obviously torn up about it. This has been festering for more than a year. At what point does he get a chance to make amends and find forgiveness?”