Stray (Touchstone)

by Höst, Andrea K.

  "Why not full squad?" I asked, since asking him if I'd been levitating would have been pointless.

  "Groups attract Ionoth. Fighting our way through would have been too great a delay."

  So he'd come alone through thirteen spaces to find me. I'd seen enough of how First Squad behaved going to a space they'd considered safe to know how dangerous that had to be.

  "Thank you," I said. "Save my life."

  This he didn't even respond to, which made me feel just wonderful. But of course he hadn't come to save Cass, but to retrieve a potentially valuable weapon. He was taking me back to the place where I was 'the amplifying stray' and something they were willing to risk a squad captain's life to retrieve. I hadn't realised how valuable I was to them.

  The next gate opened out onto a city of skyscrapers covered in vines. I could tell by the way the Fourth Squad captain turned his head once he was through that there were Ionoth in there, and I wasn't surprised when he went off to one side and didn't immediately come back. It would be my fault if he was killed.

  The question of what would happen if I kept doing this occupied me for the incredibly long time it took my only protection to return, and I was just switching over to what I would do if he didn't come back when he reappeared. He didn't look injured though, or even out of breath when he signalled me to come through, but he said: "Move quickly through here," and strode off at double pace.

  That place smelled of death. I don't know how else to describe it. Old blood and rotting plants and the stink of decay and wrongness. Death. I couldn't see what it was which had kept the Fourth Squad captain so long, but I didn't particularly want to, and scurried after him. Whatever world that space belonged to must be a truly horrible place.

  There were at least a dozen visible gates there – every space we went into seemed to have more. Every time we came close to a gate, my heart lifted, then fell when we moved past. My need to get out of the smell of it was incredible. And when the Fourth Squad captain finally did stop, at a gate showing only some carved grey stone and a bit of stair, he turned and looked carefully around us and I realised I was going to have stay there alone while he cleared the next space. I had to bite my lip not to say pointless things, and when he stepped into the next world, looked around, then moved away, I nearly ignored what he'd said and went after him.

  I think it was the idea of the Fourth Squad captain giving me a lecture on doing what I was told which kept me there. But I felt really sick about it, and stared in every direction, convinced that things were moving toward me. The gate was in the middle of a street, and the leaves overhanging the windows above fluttered and shifted all the time. And I could hear a noise, a scratching, coming closer. I was trying to decide what constituted 'immediate danger of attack' when the Fourth Squad captain reappeared and came back through to my side of the gate.

  "We're going to run," he said. "Straight up the stair to the apex and straight through the gate. Go."

  Devil and Deep Blue Sea time. I was so freaked out by the smell and sounds of the skyscraper place that I didn't hesitate. The next space was cold and full of a stifled echo, a distant roar. I looked down, and the angle of the stairs was way too sharp to make that a good idea, though what was at the bottom of it certainly helped in getting me moving in the other direction. The grey stone was a stepped pyramid, huge, rising out of an ocean of black...something. It reminded me horribly of the nanoliquid our suits were made of, writhing tendrils of it reaching upward. And all over the sides of the pyramid were shadows of people on spikes, speared through their backs like butterflies, and with tendrils of black reaching toward us from out of their chests.

  I am not good at running up flights of stairs. Especially not crumbling stone steps with chunks of recently severed black stuff on them. I can replay the eternal frantic minute it took us to get out of that space, can see the Fourth Squad captain overtake me and cut clear a path, but I don't actually remember too much of it, just this white panic. If the gates didn't have that soap-bubble resistance, I think I would have kept on running, though my chest felt like it was going to explode. As it was, it was enough to break my momentum, and I went down on my hands and knees, gasping.

  The Fourth Squad captain walked a little way ahead while I recovered, looking annoyingly unaffected by sprinting up nearly-vertical stairs. Breathing a little deeper. I stared back over my shoulder and shuddered and said: "Cthulhu lives." And could probably chase us through the gate, since Ionoth theoretically could move from space to space. The idea was enough to get me to my feet and looking around.

  We were on a branch, wide and soft with moss and lichen, and so far up that if there was any ground in this space it was lost in the gloom below. I became very glad I hadn't kept running. The Fourth Squad captain had walked down to where another branch crossed over the top of the first, and was making handholds in it using another blade made out of nanoliquid. When he climbed up, I followed, though I was starting to feel very rubbery-legged and ill. I'd managed to count through the worlds we had crossed – red desert, tola forest, tunnel, beach, skyscrapers, pyramid, tree – which made six more until we reached Tare's near-space. In retrospect I'm glad the Fourth Squad captain didn't show any sign of caring about my opinions, because I really wanted to stop and hug my knees and rock back and forth for a while, and it was only that he seemed to expect me not to that kept me walking.

  Thankfully the next gate was one he immediately gestured me through, and I grew a little more hopeful about getting back without being eaten. That space was a huge one, impossibly tall, with all these white platforms crisscrossing a black chasm and climbing up into stars. There were tons of gates, the most I'd seen in any of the spaces, but I was glad that the Fourth Squad captain seemed to be heading for one on the same level as us, since I wasn't keen on more climbing.

  Head jerking upward, he stopped so abruptly that I almost ran into his back. Given it was the first time I'd seen him act at all surprised by anything, I stared too, of course, but all I saw were some distant washes of colour, something like what I'd expect the Aurora Borealis to look like. And there was a faint, vaguely familiar noise which I thought might be whale song. The Fourth Squad captain found it far more interesting than anything else we'd encountered, and was standing stock-still, staring.

  Then he said, "Augment me," and held a hand back.

  He'd been very careful all along not to touch me, and alone in the middle of the spaces was not a good place to test my effect on whatever talent set he had. At the same time, I doubted he ever gave an order without a reason, so I took his hand without stupidly saying: "Are you sure?" But with great misgivings.

  And he fell to his knees. Totally not what you want your sole rescuer to be doing, especially since he was standing near the front edge of one of the platforms at the time, and yanked my arm half out of its socket in the process. And just stayed there, staring upwards.

  With his eyes opened wide, he didn't look like he was in pain, more like he was having some sort of religious experience. I thought it was damn stupid timing, but I'd been wanting some knee-hugging time, so I sat on the platform's edge and waited. And waited.

  Eventually I lay back and watched the distant light show, and tried to get the suit's fingers on my free hand to turn into knives, which wasn't very successful. I could make them go out to spiky points, but they were soft, rubbery spiky points, just like the rest of the suit. Mara hadn't shown me how to make weapons.

  The noises grew a little louder, and I realised that they were the noises I'd heard on Muina, except not nearly so close. The 'massive' that they'd come racing to investigate, and found me instead. And these Ddura were supposed to be some tool or weapon to use in fixing the problem tearing all the spaces apart, so I guess I understood why the Fourth Squad captain was so interested in that one, but if he had stayed like that much longer I would have given in to creeping weariness and passed out, and wouldn't even have been able to shout a warning if something came along to eat us. Fortunately the Ddur
a faded away, and the Fourth Squad captain closed his eyes and took a long shuddering breath. I wasn't sure he'd even blinked for all of the time he'd looked at it.

  "Beginning think your brain melt," I said, and he looked down at me so blankly I knew he'd completely forgotten I was there.

  "Not yet," was all he said, and climbed a little stiffly to his feet, keeping hold of my hand so I couldn't stay lying down. "We're going up."

  I can't tell you how unenthusiastic that made me. The Ddura had been a long long way away. I'm not sure what the Fourth Squad captain would have done if I'd kicked up a fuss – carried me up, maybe. He hadn't let go of my hand, and started walking without waiting to see what my response was, so I trailed along behind him wondering when the day would end.

  But we only went up about three staircases worth of platforms, and stopped before a tall but narrow rift to a white place splashed with washes of colour, with a tall white tower in the middle, big and solid with very familiar arch-shaped doors. The Fourth Squad captain indulged in another staring session, but didn't try to go through the gate, just stood studying everything he could see.

  Since the building had some similarities to those on Muina I immediately guessed it was either a space belonging to Muina or one of these extremely dangerous supports that the Muinans had built in the Ena which had caused everything to fracture. The Fourth Squad captain was being intense enough about it to make me think it was something that important, and since the supports were supposed to be incredibly dangerous I'm glad he didn't decide to go any closer.

  After he was done looking he held out his free hand, which glowed faintly, and made the gate glow faintly in return. And made him go interestingly pale and squish my hand a bit.

  There were five gates between the platform space and Tare's near-space. He did the same thing at every single one of them after we'd passed through, and if there'd been the slightest need for running or killing Ionoth we would have been screwed because whatever making the gates glow was about, it took as much out of him as running up those stairs had me. By the time we'd reached a familiar-looking metal box, I was beginning to wonder if I'd have to carry him, which wasn't going to happen since he's six foot two at least. As soon as we stepped through the last gate into the proper world he let go of me, leaned his back against a wall, and closed his eyes, looking so grey I thought he was going to faint.

  The shielding door opened almost immediately, after the briefest time for scans. I was swooped on by greensuits and greysuits, while Fourth Squad and a couple of other Setari rushed my rescuer. One of them, obviously a friend since he called him by his first name, said, "Ends, Kaoren, how far did you have to go? I've never seen you like this."

  "Never mind that." The Fourth Squad captain was recovering, and had straightened up. "Get Third mobilised. I stumbled across one of the Pillars out there, and even with the stray's enhancement I don't have the strength to truly lock every gate for five spaces."

  He could have announced the sky was falling, the way everyone jumped and stared. Me, I was glad I was so tired, because I knew I was headed straight for endless medical tests and I planned to sleep through them. Which I did, except for blearily answering a few questions about no I really don't know how I almost got to Earth. The room I'm in now is even more of a box than before, with scanners constantly pointed at me because they're trying to work out what I did and whether they can stop me from doing it again. They gave me my diary after a day, and it's taken me forever to write this all down, but that's okay because my interface has been shut off almost completely while they run tests and there's nothing else to do.

  Lab Rat again. Stray, always. It really hurt to hear that.

  But I guess I'll cope. It makes so much difference that Mum and Dad know I'm not dead. That I got to say goodbye. I don't know if I will ever be treated as a person here, but I can follow Nick's lead and look on the bright side of things until I can make them better. I'm not starving. Nothing has eaten me. And somehow, in a way I don't understand, I have the ability to go to Earth. I don't want to kill myself doing it, and I won't ever risk drawing Ionoth there, but now I have a goal beyond being a useful stray. If I can gain control, perhaps I can figure out a way to find a natural gate, and be able to go back to my real life, to being Cass again.

  As birthdays go, it could have been worse.

  Tuesday, February 12

  Psych 101

  Maze came to see me after lunch, to talk me through what they'd concluded from all the tests. He didn't tell me anything I hadn't figured out already: that I must have some ability to find Earth through the spaces, and then travel there, bashing open gates on the way. While asleep. It's nothing like any ability they've encountered before, and since they work out your abilities by looking for known 'patterns' in the brain, they've now decided they really don't have any idea what I can do and they don't know how to test me. They think they've probably got it wrong about the Illusion casting, too.

  Mainly they're worried I'll keep tearing holes where they don't want them, and vanishing.

  Maze asked if there was anything he could do for me, which isn't the sort of thing you ask someone who's been locked in a room for days on end with nothing to do except wait for the next medical exam. There's obviously tons of things they could do, but the question is what they were doing. Poor Maze must have wondered why I looked so angry, but because it was Maze I managed to not shriek and rant.

  "Thing I need is be less homesick," I said. "Is why that happen, guess. Didn't go bed think 'leave tonight'. Not scared, upset. Just homesick. But is different now, plus. Family know where am, make big difference. Plus, would choose not go unless find way not tear hole Earth's shield, bring monsters. Not acceptable. Is found way stop me leaving?"

  "In truth, we don't know. You're still here, but that may be because you haven't tried to leave. We don't know if the extra containment on this room is having any effect on you, but it does help some of the more sensitive Setari, who need dampening on their quarters to sleep properly."

  "Bigger box soon?" I asked, hopefully.

  "Keeping you in high security intensive care indefinitely isn't very practical." Maze gave me what I think of as his 'captain look'. "And stop calling it a box."

  "Is box long as door lock. What think I do? Go day trip Unara?" My voice had gone flat and hard, and I sighed and shook my head. "Getting tired silly psychology games. Put Cass in box nothing to do. Cass happy do anything, try hard training. Take Cass outside lunch, happy Cass try harder. Cass leave to Earth. Put Cass in smaller box, take away toys."

  "You think that's why we took you to lunch?"

  "No." I was embarrassed about being nasty. "First Squad just nice people. But bet Maze report state Stray's mental health."

  His mouth squinched a little, so I knew I was right.

  "First Squad, Setari, they useful weapons. Lots rules. Choose be Setari because protect home. I here, not my planet, but owe life. Since can't go home yet, willing help. Right thing do. Accept rules. But. Kept in box, annoying. Have interface cut back, stupid. If testing, need reproduce circumstance. Different circumstance nullify test. Someone petty? Or punishment? All achieve is grumpy Cass. Then Maze sent talk me."

  "Do we seem that manipulative?" He looked really sad.

  I shrugged. "Don't know sure. Could just be big stupid machine forget Cass person. Or is idea make very obedient? Don't know. Tolerate it, just annoyed." And I didn't want to push them to worse treatment, the possibilities of which I'd had more than enough time to dwell on. I'd had this horrible nightmare where I'd dreamt there was a scar on my stomach, and found out they'd harvested my ovaries and were trying to breed more amplifiers. And since that really was a logical approach, I'd been freaked out half the day about it, caught between desperately attempting to leave again and telling myself not to over-react. Which was probably why I said any of this stuff to Maze. "Sorry. Not Maze's fault. What happen big tower?"

  I think I'd really depressed him, but he brightened up at th
e change of subject.

  "That was truly spectacular luck. The Ionoth are symptoms, while the Pillars are the disease. Ever since we've been able to travel among the spaces we've been searching for them, and that's intensified a great deal over the past five years with specialist Setari squads. Only twice before have we managed to get anywhere near one, and both times the shifting of the gates meant we barely viewed them before they were cut off. To capture information on a Ddura and a Pillar both is the most progress we've ever made. We're about to lose the path to this one, despite everything we can do to lock the gates, but have been able to deploy a number of drones in the space, and they went ahead yesterday afternoon and sent Third in to make a preliminary approach, which went without a hitch. Best of all, they think the gate we're losing is a rotational, and the rest relatively stable, so we should be able to return regularly and unpick its mysteries."

  "What happen if just explode it?"

  "Good question. We've no idea. But it could be catastrophic, so we're not going to rush anything." He smiled, a less sad smile this time. "Now if you could be convinced to become homesick for the Pillars, wouldn't that be an interesting development?"

  "No thanks."

  He left then, with a little wave and no words of reassurance. I didn't miss that he hadn't denied any of my little paranoid theories, but I was also sorry I'd made him feel bad.

  -

  And it's an hour or so later and my access rights have returned. Back to the way they were when I was living with the Lents. And because I appreciate the gesture I'll keep pushing through kindergarten, and will make sure I work before I play. Maze really is a nice guy.

  When the bell rings, drool