‘Look at those clenched fists, those grinding teeth and that ferocious snarl. Have you seen anything so frightening?’
- How can you say that at a time like this?
‘How can you? Anyway, take a hike! I’m trying to think of a plan of survival here. I don’t need smart ass comments right now.’
- Good luck with that, Chief. I’ll call back later. If you live, that is.
‘Thanks for your encouragement.’
- Any time.
And there was the situation – me, stretched out on the ground like a helpless, turned-over beetle, and Thorn, standing over me like an avenging angel. All she needed to complete the picture would be to wield a flaming sword. I realised that now I happened to be the one with the two choices. I could either agree with Thorn that the One didn’t steal and soothe her outraged sensibilities, or I could maintain my original line that the One were, indeed, a flawed race. The latter proposition might inflame her already homicidal tendencies, but I couldn’t do anything about that. However, a third possibility then intruded itself. I could tell her something so unusual and bizarre and unexpected that it might shock her back into normality.
“You know, Thorn,” I began, choosing the third avenue of action, “you have a marvellous pair of legs.”
“What!” she exclaimed, taken aback.
“Your legs,” I explained, calmly. “They really are spectacular. From my viewpoint, anyway.”
As I had hoped, Thorn backed away from me in total confusion. “My legs?” she echoed in sheer disbelief.
“Yes,” I reinforced, gingerly getting to my feet, “they’re very nice, you know. Very much a sterling part of the whole package. I’m surprised you’re not besieged by male Ones every minute of the day.” To my delighted astonishment, Thorn began to blush! She vainly tried to recall her anger, but it fizzled and died under the weight of that burgeoning flush.
“Don’t say those sorts of things!” she snapped.
“Why not?” I asked. “It’s not a good idea to deny what you are. Thorn, you’re lovely, whether you like to acknowledge it or not. Now, are we going to continue our investigation?” She stared dumbly at me as I probed for facial damage with my fingers.
“You want to continue with the investigation?” she stuttered, vainly trying to follow my erratic logic. “With me?”
“Why not with you?” I queried.
“I just hit you,” she cried in an exasperated tone. Then she lowered her eyes to the ground and said in a low voice, “If I was you, I’d never want to see me again.” She faltered and twisted her fingers together in remorse. “I know that saying ‘sorry’ won’t make up for what I just did, but I apologise unreservedly. My temper is always getting me into trouble. I don’t seem to be able to control it. I wouldn’t blame you one little bit if you wanted to go back to your world and never have anything to do with me ever again.”
She looked so distressed and woebegone that I couldn’t resist going over to her giving her a sympathetic hug. If I had thought about it rationally for even a moment, I probably wouldn’t have acted in such a rash manner, but I felt so sorry for her. Initially, I could feel her whole body stiffen in surprised outrage, but then she gradually relaxed and returned my hug wholeheartedly in relief at my acceptance of her apology, such as it was.
Chapter 10
After a few moments, not wishing to embarrass her, I pulled out of our mutual embrace. “Thank you,” she whispered. “Thank you for being so forgiving. I may have to review my views of you humans after all.”
“I’m pleased that something positive has come out of this,” I joked. “But let’s get back to the investigation. I’m certain that the last crystal seller knows about this theft. Would it be possible to go back to his shop when he’s not there?”
“You want to invade his shop in his absence?” Thorn exclaimed, scandalised. “Like common burglars? The One don’t do those sort of things!”
“That’s okay,” I remarked, airily, “because humans do it all the time. I’ll go by myself, if you like.”
I could see that Thorn was torn between scruples and curiosity. “No, I’ll come, too,” she agonised. “After all, we are a team.” Her lips twitched slightly as she made that last remark and I smiled back at her.
“Yes,” I agreed, “we’re a team, dysfunctional although it may be. When’s the best time to do this?”
“In about another hour,” she answered. “All the shops close around that time.”
“Excellent,” I commented. “We’ll wait until then.”
I tried to think of what to do to fill in the time, when something suddenly occurred to me. I had wings! I haven’t really thought about it before, because …. well, why should I have? Wings weren’t a normal homo sapiens attachment. I could fly! That is, I presumed I could. I turned to Thorn excitedly and asked, “Can you teach me to fly?”
She gave me a curious look. “You don’t need to be taught,” she informed me. “It’s instinctive.”
“Not for a human,” I contradicted. “Come on, Thorn, teach me!”
“If you insist,” she sighed. “Let’s find a relatively clear area to practice.”
I have to say that my attempts at flight weren’t something to put into the record books. I could flutter the wings and lift my body without any trouble, but there must have been something wrong with my internal steering mechanism. On my first attempt, I nosedived into the ground. After dusting myself off, my second attempt was even more disastrous, ending up in a collision with a nearby signpost. As I blundered around like a blind and drunken parrot, I heard Thorn laughing at my feeble aviation attempts, making me think less than charitable thoughts about her but, several bruises later, I finally achieved my goal, and could control my erratic flight patterns almost satisfactorily.
The whole training session hadn’t taken as long as I had expected and I wondered how to fill in the rest of the time until our nefarious activity, when I suddenly heard faint melodic sounds in the distance.
“What’s that music?” I asked.
Thorn listened. “That’ll be the settlement choir,” she explained. “They practise at this time every night.”
“Let’s go there,” I urged. “I love listening to choirs.”
“Do we have time for this?” Thorn questioned, a little grumpily.
“We have some time left,” I reminded her, starting off towards the sounds. “And anyway, there’s always time for culture.”
I’m glad we went to listen. I’ve enjoyed music for as long as I can remember, but these fairies …….. elves …… Ones – I’d have to settle on a name soon – produced music the likes of which I’d never heard before. The instruments were a strange mix as well, consisting mainly of what appeared to be horns and trumpets. There were a number of stringed instruments also, displaying a remarkable diversity of shapes. But the music …… ah, the music! It was unusual, lilting, synchronized and eerie. I sat mesmerised as I drank it all in. Then the choir began to sing and I found myself suddenly lifted to a higher level of entrancement. The voices blended and chased each other up and down the scale, intertwined, opposed, tangled and teased. I’d never come across such exquisite harmonies in all my life. The artistic quotient of my brain became close to overload as I listened, hypnotized by the sheer beauty of what I heard. I lost track of time but was brought back to earth by Thorn insistently pulling on my sleeve.
“Time to go,” she whispered.
“Do we have to?” I replied, still entrapped in the musical webs.
“Yes, we do,” she stubbornly insisted.
“Very well,” I sighed nostalgically, taking one last look at the choir as I stumbled outside. Thorn was impatiently waiting for me on the sidewalk. “I thought you were never going to leave,” she muttered rebelliously.
“Thorn, you’re such a Philistine,” I criticised. “How could you not be carried away with that music? It was stupendous! I could have listened to it for hours.”
“I’m not a Philis
tine!” Thorn seethed. She paused, uncertainly. “What’s a Philistine?”
“Someone who doesn’t appreciate music,” I informed her.
“I do appreciate music,” she declared, hotly. “It’s just that we have other things to do right now. I’m focused, that’s all.”
“You certainly are,” I agreed. “To an amazing degree, but there’s such a thing as being too focused.”
“Typical human thinking,” Thorn snorted derisively. “Focus gets the job done. All the music in the world won’t help us to find the Crystals.”
“Typical One thinking,” I responded with a grin. Thorn’s face seemed divided between a stern rebuke and a smile. Luckily for me, the smile triumphed.
Chapter 11
We made our way to the crystal seller’s shop and cautiously peered in through the windows. I could see no sign of life and I whispered to Thorn, “How do we get in?”
“Just open the door,” she advised. “Nothing is locked in the settlement. Nobody steals anything.”
“I thought we had agreed to disagree about that,” I replied, twisting the doorknob in a futile attempt to open the door. “It’s locked.”
“It can’t be,” Thorn contradicted, pushing me aside and trying her luck on the door, with a similar result. She turned to me with a stricken look. “It is locked! But that’s unheard of! What’s going on?”
“I’m becoming more suspicious all the time,” I told her, rubbing my chin. “The seller is definitely hiding something. Let’s try a window.”
We tried all the windows in the shop and every single one of them was fastened tight. Thorn was perplexed. “I’m beginning to think you may be right about this seller,” she admitted. “No One locks their windows. So, what do we do now?”
“The plan hasn’t changed,” I reassured her. “We still get into the shop. We’ll just have to force open one of the windows.”
Thorn was aghast. “We shouldn’t be doing this,” she lamented. “This isn’t right at all. I’m not sure I can go through with it.”
“You don’t have to,” I comforted. “You could stay out here and keep guard, if you like. I’ll take full responsibility for our actions.”
“No!” Thorn determinedly declared. “We’re a team and we stay together, no matter what happens.”
I gave her an encouraging grin and started to work on a window. It wasn’t very difficult to circumnavigate the lock. The One, due to their honest ways, knew very little about security devices, and the fastening mechanism was quite primitive. I pushed open the window and crept carefully into the shop, with an extremely reluctant Thorn following. The interior was thankfully reasonably well lit and I paused to have a quick glance around. I heard a peculiar whizzing noise on my left side and I jerked my head around just in time to find Thorn clutching an arrow, mere centimetres from my forehead.
“What the hell!” I breathed, shocked to the core.
“Don’t move!” Thorn hissed, her eyes darting backwards and forwards as she searched for further missiles.
“You don’t have to tell me twice,” I murmured, my body’s alarms still belatedly shrieking their warnings. We both stood frozen for the next minute or so, but nothing else intruded on our personal spaces. Thorn trembled with rage.
“A trap!” she fumed. “The One do not build traps! This is an abomination! The Elders will hear of this!”
I lay a restraining hand on Thorn’s arm. “Let’s not be hasty,” I advised, softly. “We don’t know enough about the situation yet. Let’s just do what we came here for first, and then we’ll see. Anyway, how are you going to explain what we were doing inside the shop in the first place? By the way, thanks for saving my life. You were amazing! How the devil did you manage to catch that arrow?”
Thorn shrugged modestly. “I heard it coming and instinctively grabbed it. Sheer luck, I guess.”
“Luck, nothing!” I applauded. “It was incredible! I owe you my life and I won’t forget it.”
“Let’s get on with it,” she gruffly announced. “Watch out for more traps.”
“That goes without saying,” I muttered, intrigued to see that Thorn was blushing again under my praise. So, she actually wasn’t the cold-faced, steel-skinned, callous warrior type she liked to portray, after all. Interesting.
We poked around the interior, very gingerly I might add, but found nothing much of interest. However, we did come across a small money chest, full to the brim with coins.
“This is borgulessa money!” Thorn gasped. “What’s it doing here?”
“Payment for services, perhaps?” I murmured, thoughtfully.
“So, I was right!” Thorn declared, slamming the chest lid closed. “The borgulessa are involved! They did steal the Crystals!”
“Don’t be so judgemental,” I warned her. “All this proves is that the shop owner likes to collect goblin money. Most shopkeepers I know will sell their wares to anybody, regardless of race or species. Surely trade must happen between the One and the goblins?”
“I suppose,” Thorn reluctantly conceded. “The borgulessa do make certain items we can use and they buy some of our decorative pottery.”
“Decorative pottery, huh?” I remarked. “Hardly the sort of thing you’d expect from a low life, barbarian race, wouldn’t you say? They must possess some finer feelings to buy such things.”
“Don’t try to defend them!” Thorn snarled. “They’re sneaky, treacherous and underhanded.”
“But they admire artistic pottery,” I pressed, relentlessly. “Don’t you think that’s something of a contradiction?”
“They probably buy it just to break it,” she lamely pronounced. Then she threw up her hands in disgust. “Oh, very well,” she announced, defeated. “So they aren’t the vermin I once thought! Are you happy now?”
“Very,” I smiled at her. “Chill out, Thorn. Don’t be a wombat all your life.”
“Are you calling me a wombat now?” she demanded, incensed.
“No, of course not,” I contradicted. “All I’m saying is that you shouldn’t be like a wombat – all closed off with tunnel vision. Broaden your horizons a little. That’s all I’m asking.”
Chapter 12
We escaped from the shop without further incident and discussed what to do next.
“I say we should go and see the Elders,” Thorn proclaimed.
“We don’t have any solid evidence to give them as yet,” I maintained. “All we have at this stage is a chest of goblin money which could have come from anywhere.”
“Well, what do you suggest we do then?” Thorn asked with some brusqueness.
“How about we go and visit the goblins?” I proposed.
“Visit the borgulessa?” pronounced a horrified Thorn. “Are you out of your mind? We can’t do that!”
“Why not?” I argued. “You’re not at war, are you? And there’s obviously trading going on behind the scenes. We’ll pose as merchants, doing a bit of buying and selling.”
“And what’s the point of this ridiculous charade?” she demanded.
“I want to have a look around,” I told her. “Besides, I don’t believe the Crystals are in the settlement anymore, and the goblin camp would be a logical place to start our search.” I stopped talking and, greatly daring, took her hand in mine. “I understand how you feel about the goblins, Thorn,” I said, softly, “but I’ll need you with me as a guide. Please say you’ll come.”
Thorn’s face was a picture, as her various emotions displayed themselves openly, but I was pleased to find she didn’t try to pull her hand away. “I’m not sure,” she dithered.
“We’re a team, remember,” I grandly proclaimed.
“Yes, we are,” she admitted, with a small smile. “The problem is that I think being in the team may be corrupting me. I’m starting to become more human than One.”
“And is that so horrible?” I gently enquired.
Thorn glanced down at our clasped hands and remarked, “No, it’s not as horrible as I once w
ould have thought.” Then she looked into my eyes. “You’re teaching me all sorts of new things, Stephen, but I don’t know whether they’re good or bad. How can a person tell?”
“Ah, the ineffable mystery of life,” I murmured, giving her hand a polite squeeze. Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference, Thorn, but the end result will normally point the way. The main question is: Will what I do help or hurt others? The answer will tell you which way to go.”
Thorn peered down again at our still intertwined hands. “But can I trust the answer?” she whispered. Then she straightened and pulled her hand away from mine. “Anyway, the borgulessa will have to wait because it’s time to get you back to your human form.”
“Already?” I complained.
“Yes,” she smiled. “I’ll come again tomorrow night.”
“I’ll look forward to it,” I told her, sincerely.
“So will I,” she murmured.
Chapter 13
Thorn guided me back to Phil’s laboratory, where he attached the electrodes to my head as he had done before. “You’ll wake up in your own body,” he assured me. “You might feel a bit weak, but you’ll certainly be rested. We’ll come and see you again tomorrow night.”
I waved at Thorn. “See you soon,” I quipped. “It’s been an adventure, being with you.”
“Likewise,” she concurred, smiling. “You certainly make life more interesting.”
“Ready?” Phil asked.
“Go for it,” I answered.
I awoke and quickly looked around. I was definitely back in my room. I waved my arms in the air, gratified to find that I had been returned back into my own body after all. Wow! That little adventure had certainly been different. Of course, I couldn’t tell anyone about it because they’d lock me up and throw away the key. I carefully swung my feet over the side of the bed and achieved a vertical posture. I felt a little off balance and some of my muscles were slightly sore, but overall I was fine. The clock told me that it was one o’clock in the afternoon, so I’d been a fairy/elf/One, for over ten hours. Suddenly, I felt ravenous, so I made my way to the kitchen and, strangely enough, settled for bread and honey. Smilingly, I thought of Thorn. What a handful she’d proven to be. Wilful, touchy and thin-skinned, with her temper thermostat set on ‘maximum’, but intriguing with it. She might be attractive, complex and fiery, but I could see the beginnings of a deep and sensitive nature running below her surface. But her sister, Tracey, now …….. there was someone absolutely gorgeous – the most ravishing individual I’d ever seen – but I knew next to nothing about her. I’ll have to take some time out to become better acquainted, I thought idly, as I demolished my honey sandwiches. A person could really fall for her. Not that I had much of a chance, of course. Not with the whole male population of the settlement panting after her. There was a surfeit of facial riches everywhere down there. Just about every single One I’d seen had been either handsome or beautiful. Genetic evolution had certainly been kind to the One as a species.
Crystal Thief (1) (The Underground Kingdom) Page 5