Deep Blue

by Yolanda Olson

  I crossed my arms over my chest as some man I had never seen before entered the corral and started the same fucking speech I had heard seven years before. Why everyone was there, what the purpose of this was, and how everyone should choose carefully as there were no take backs or exchanges once a deal was made.

  I watched the first girl enter the ring as the men quickly surrounded the corral to get a look at her. She kept her head down and seemed to be trembling, which wasn’t a good thing for her. It made it blatantly obvious that she was new to what was happening and they would be furiously trying to out bargain each other for a chance to break her in.

  “Look at you all grown up,” a voice said from behind me.

  I whipped around to face the man that was speaking to me, wondering if I would know him. One glance into his deep blue eyes and I had to fight the urge to attack him in front of everyone.

  “Troy?” I asked.

  “Yes ma’am. Aren’t you even more beautiful than I remember, pretty, pretty Posy,” he remarked with a twinkle in his eye. “How old you are these days?”

  “Go fuck yourself,” I replied through grit teeth.

  He laughed, a good-natured laugh and reached for my hand. I promptly jerked mine out of his grip and watched his deep blue eyes become excited.

  “Oh, you’re definitely ready for me now,” he said in his smoky tone. “Come on. I’m not dealing with this horseshit tonight. Point out who you came with.”

  “I said go fuck yourself,” I hissed at him. I wasn’t leaving with Troy. In fact, in that moment of anger, I decided I wasn’t leaving with anyone. Today would be my day of freedom, come hell or high water.

  “Remember what I told you?” he asked, moving closer to me. “I told you that I’d get you back eventually. You weren’t ready for me then Posy, but you obviously are now and I’m not gonna let you slip away again. Tell me who you came with so we can get out of here.”

  I looked up into his ruggedly handsome face and realized he hadn’t changed at all. He was still the ever polite, country boy who knew what he wanted and would do whatever was necessary to get it.

  “His name is Lucas,” I said with a defeated sigh. “He’s that old guy over there standing next to the corral door.”

  He gripped my hand firmly in his, leading me away from the girls, leading me toward where Lucas was standing. Once we got to him, Troy pushed me half behind him and began his bargaining. He told him that the only reason he had the pleasure of my company for whatever time he had it for was because he had brought me to my first corral seven years ago. He also told him that he had come empty handed and he didn’t have anything to trade him for me with the exception of a bullet between the eyes.

  A solid handshake followed, as expected, and Troy led me out of the livestock parade back to a new truck.

  “Yours?” I asked opening the door and hopping into the passenger seat.

  “Yeah,” he replied with a laugh. “My farms been doing really well these past few years.”

  I pulled my seat belt on and rolled my eyes. I didn’t want him to see that I didn’t care because I had a feeling I could convince him to let me go at some point.

  “So tell me how you’ve been,” he continued, putting his truck in drive and turning his eyes to the road.

  “Fantastic. Nothing says acceptance like getting abused over and over. Rape seems like a strong word to use right now; I wouldn’t want you to feel bad or anything about what you did to me, but to be honest, I guess when you scream ‘no’ over and over to no avail, it could be classified as such. I think my favorite thing was being told what an ugly whore I am by all of them,” I continued angrily. “Correction; an ugly whore that no one else would fuck so everything I got done to me, I deserved. How have you been?”

  Troy didn’t speak. I glanced at him and saw the a mixed look of anger, sadness, and disgust on his face. I sighed and turned my attention back to the road ahead of us. Hours passed before he finally said anything and by that point I was contemplating jumping from the moving truck.

  “I’m sorry that happened to you, Posy. Those fuckers ... They should have never done that to you. One of the rules is that if the girl says no, then the answer is no. They should have stopped when you told them too.”

  “Oh, so there are rules?” I asked incredulously.

  “There are always rules, just like with anything in life.” He moved his right hand from the steering wheel and placed it on my leg. “You’re not ugly and you’re not a whore. I’ll prove it to you somehow. Just give me time.”

  Troy smiled as I turned my attention back to the road. I don’t know why but I believed him in that moment. What I didn’t know, what no one warned me about, was that Troy was the worst of them all.

  “So, when did you grow that?” I asked nodding at his new beard, to change the conversation.

  And if I had known that the way he intended to prove to me that I wasn’t an ugly whore was more vile and vicious than anything I could have imagined, I would have jumped from the truck right then and there.

  Seven

  3 Weeks Later

  The loud claps of thunder outside caused the horses in the barn above us to whiny loudly and buck frantically. The sound and weight of their hooves crashing into the floor caused small fragments of wood and slivers of hay to fall down on me. I coughed and wiped my face free of the debris wondering where Troy was hiding. I knew he was in this secret room with me because I could feel his presence; I could hear his steady breathing.

  Another clap of thunder caused me to jump as more debris fell on me making it damn near impossible to adjust my eyes to the darkness surrounding me. A slight tremble slowly started to course through me. This was unlike anything I had ever been through and I was afraid that it was only going to get worse from here. It felt like a game of cat and mouse and I was obviously the rodent in this situation.

  "Troy?" I asked into the darkness, my voice shaking.

  His response came in the form of a match lighting in the darkness, quickly illuminating his face. I drew in my breath in a sharp gasp now realizing how close he had been standing over me the entire time. He didn't look at me; he kept his devilish eyes down on what he was holding and I watched as he moved the match into a lantern he was holding. A dim light now desperately tried to flood the room as he set in on my left leg. His brown hair was tousled on top of his head and I saw that he wasn't wearing a shirt. His chest glistened with sweat, probably because of the ungodly heat of this room, and he was in his usual denim blue fit jeans. My eyes stole a glance as his muscular arms and the ripples on his taut stomach. His words stole my thoughts, bringing me back to the severity of what was happening.

  "Don't move, Posy. If it tips, it'll burn you," he instructed quietly.

  Almost immediately, it tipped over. Instinct told me to reach forward to balance it again, but Troy quickly squatted down in front of me and steadied it again, after gently slapping my hands away.

  "Stay still. I want to see how disciplined you are. If it burns you then you have no discipline and I'll have to teach you some. If it doesn't tip over, then we'll play a new game," he said in a soft voice.

  "How long do I have to stay like this?" I asked, gritting my teeth. The heat from the lamp was starting to cause the metal to burn my skin. I wanted to slap the lantern away. I wanted to knock Troy to the ground, and I wanted to run as far away as I could from this place and never look back. But first, I would have to get past him and that was the most unlikely possible thing in the world.

  "Until the fire dies," he said matter-of-factly.

  No. No, no, no. Hell no. Fuck this, I thought feeling myself becoming angry. I leaned forward quickly and blew the fire out. I slapped the lantern off of my leg and got to my feet quickly, but unfortunately, Troy was quicker. I had gotten merely steps past him when he had my arm in a vice grip, twisting me back toward him.

  "That's called cheating," he whispered into my ear.

  I tried to pull my arm out of his hand, but
it only caused him to squeeze harder so I stopped. I looked around the darkness trying to get my eyes to adjust. There had to be somewhere to hide, somewhere to run, somewhere to just get away from him.

  "I thought you liked me. At least that’s what you told me on the way back," he added curiously. I felt his fingers loosen and his hand slip away from my arm.

  "No. I said I trusted you. Either way, doesn't equal me in a windowless inferno of a room under the barn, Troy," I shot back.

  I heard him pull the book of matches out of his pocket and strike one quickly. The spark and glow was enough for me to see his mouth, his nose, and just enough of his eyes that ensnared me the first time I saw him.

  "This wasn't supposed to scare you. It's just ... you're different and I wanted to treat you differently," he explained, his lips curving into a sexy half smile. "I think you'd enjoy what I do to you Posy. You just have to keep trusting me enough to let me do it."

  "I think we’re past that point," I replied uneasily. I bit my lower lip which was a nervous habit and when I saw the smile fade from his lips and watched them form a small circle as he blew the match out, I knew I had said the wrong thing.

  I took a few blind steps backward. Troy was dangerous and with dangerous' came the constant companion unhinged. I'm so fucking screwed. I heard his footsteps gently on the ground as he moved toward me. I felt my feet leave the ground when he hoisted me up around the waist and carried me to the opposite corner of the underground hell we were in. He had such a firm grip on my body that there was no way I could fight him off. I winced when he lifted me a little higher, then began to lower me slowly, fitting me into a harness of some kind.

  "Open your mouth Posy," he instructed suddenly.

  "Why?" I mumbled.

  He chuckled as he secured what felt like a belt around my legs. I heard the sound of the metal clinking together and grunted when he pulled the leather tight before buckling it into place. He stood up and gently pulled my arms over my head, tied the wrists together with some sort of strap, and lifted me slightly again, letting the strap slip into a large hook.

  "Because I would like to keep you from screaming. You'll scare my horses," he whispered, his breath warm against my ear.

  Why would I possibly scream? The heat? That can't be it; I'd sooner pass out from that. Hunger? No, he wouldn't let me starve and if he did, I would be to weak to scream. Then what?

  "Posy? Please open your mouth," he said again, pressing himself against me and putting his on my hips. "I don't want to force you, but I will if I have to."

  My lower lip started to tremble in fear. Troy ran his fingertips over my lips patiently and I could only hope that complying would be rewarded somehow. I swallowed hard and opened my lips slightly. He gently slid his fingers into my mouth, prying it open and letting his breath out in a sigh.

  "Thank you," he whispered as he slid a bit inside of it. "Now stay just like this. I have to go up and grab a couple of things, but I'll be right back."

  Troy peeled himself off of me and brushed his lips against mine, before walking away. I closed my eyes and listened for the sound of his footsteps ascending the staircase and the quiet creek of the trap door, before I closed my mouth. I took a couple a of deep breaths to steady my nerves before I gave my arms a pull. Ouch. A quick pain jolted through my shoulders, laughing at my pitiful attempt to free my arms. Whatever he had me hooked onto was too secure for me to try that again.

  I kicked my legs to see if I was close enough to at least scrape the ground with the tips of my toes and came up empty. I heard his boots on the stalls above me and heard the clanking of some kind of metal. I wasn’t sure what the hell he was planning on doing, but I was absolutely terrified by this point.

  By the time he came back down into the dirt underground bunker he was keeping me in, my chin was resting on my chest. The heat and the exhaustion were finally starting to get to me and I could feel myself slipping into unconsciousness.

  “Pretty Posy,” he said softly. “Open your eyes baby girl. I wanna show you what I’ve got.”

  “Hm?” I asked groggily.

  “Well, you’re finally with me again and I think it’s time for the others to know that I’ll never trade you again. This next step only makes sense, don’t you think? Then I’ll feel better about having my way with you. With your permission, of course.”

  With a Herculean effort, I lifted my chin slightly off of my chest and saw that he was holding something that was glowing brightly in the darkness, but I couldn’t make out what it was.

  “What is that?” I mumbled.

  “My branding iron.”

  Eight

  My body trembled harder than ever. If he had his iron it as for one purpose only.

  “Troy, please don’t do this,” I begged into the half darkness.

  “Well what do you know? Pretty little Posy has some manners after all,” he replied with a slight chuckle.

  I watched as the glowing end of the brand got closer as he slowly walked toward me.

  “Know what these are for? Shows ownership of property.”

  Please don’t let this be happening.

  Please.

  “It won’t hurt much,” he continued, as he got closer to me. “Well, I guess it will hurt at first, but I think you just get numb once the pain kicks in. That’s what happens to my cows, anyway.”

  Adrenaline flowed through my body like an electrical current. I started to kick my legs out toward him since he hadn’t secured them, but he just stepped back and watched me. I could see a grin cross his lips, illuminated by the branding iron and the damn lamp he had come to set next to him.

  “I need you to steady yourself, Posy. If I mess this up because you’re kicking, I’ll get angry. I don’t want to hurt you, but I really don’t have much control of myself when I’m angry,” he said with a chuckle.

  I grabbed onto the straps of the harness and tried desperately to pull myself out of it, but I wasn’t strong enough. The heat was catching up to me quickly again and I felt myself losing the fight with exhaustion. I had to just face the fact that nothing I could do would get me out of this.

  “Are you done kicking now, pretty girl?” he asked, the heated end of the iron swinging down to his side. “The worst part is the anticipation. Once I get this on you, it’ll be over before you know it.”

  I closed my eyes and turned my face away as the glow of the iron approached. As Troy reached for a piece of the harness on my right side and pulled it apart I began to sob. Nothing he could say to prepare me for this was going to make it any better. No amount of fighting to get out of this mess would stop it from happening.

  “Here, look. I made you a leather strap to bite down on. I don’t want you breaking your teeth on the bit,” he said, pulling it off of my lower lip and letting it hang around my neck.

  Troy forced the strap into my mouth since I refused to open it on my own. Once he was sure it was secure enough, he stepped back a little and asked me if I was ready, to which I responded with another sob.

  I felt his fingertips on the side of my body, caressing it gently, almost as if he were checking it for any imperfections that would mess up his brand.

  Then I felt the force of the iron being pressed against me. At first, I felt nothing. In fact I’d like to say that I was so scared at that point that my body became numb to protect me from what was immediately to follow.

  The exquisite pain, the unconditional fury of the fire that started to make it’s home just under my ribs was unmistakable. I closed my eyes as tightly as I could, while he pressed it against me a little longer, before the leather strap fell out of my mouth and I screamed. The agony was something I’d never be able to put into words. It was something so pure and so furious, that I knew I would never be able to explain it no matter how hard I tried.

  When he finally pulled back, my skin stuck to the iron, like a sinner beginning to be saved. A cleansing that I had desperately needed and wanted even though I would never admit it to myself.
The smell of my burning flesh on the branding iron made it the thurible, and my skin was the incense. For all the sins I had suffered, and for those I would come to suffer at his hands, Troy was cleansing me of them now.

  My breathing became labored as I struggled to open my eyes. Something as simple as an every day motion felt like it would be the last thing I ever did. I didn’t get to open them all the way, when I heard the sound of the iron hit the ground and felt Troy’s hands on either sides of my body, above my new brand, lifting me out of the harness.

  He was gentle now; so very gentle. It made it so hard to believe that someone who was being this careful with me now, just took a piece of my flesh because of his desire for everyone to know I was his.

  But who would know this? Would he trade me again? I didn’t understand the purpose of it then. All I knew in that moment was that Troy, for all of his charm and polite ways, was a sadistic monster, and he had chosen me to be his.

  “The pain will go away in a few days,” he said softly, as he laid me down on the dirty ground. Clearing his throat, he sat down next to me and ran a gloved hand over my hair. “That’s the worst of it, Posy. I promise.”

  I closed my eyes again, hoping that either the pain, the exhaustion, or the heat would just take me. I knew I wouldn’t have the will to fight him. I knew that he was lying to me and I knew that I would most likely not live to see another birthday.

  I was going to die on this farm of horror, branded, alone, and at the hands of a devil that hid so carefully among the normal people in the daylight.

  Nine

  I woke up the next day in a big comfortable bed. I assumed it was Troy’s even though he was nowhere to be found, because who else would live in a place like this and let this shit happen?

  I rolled onto the right side of my body and let out a pained yelp. I had almost forgotten about the branding thing until I was greeted by the pain of seared flesh reminding me of what had been done.