A Song of Shadows (2020 Ed)

by Jenna Wolfhart

  “Stop it.” I held up my hands and slid in front of my Autumn instructor. “Rourke is with me. He’s not an enemy.”

  “He’s an Autumn,” the guard spit. “The Queen probably sent him here to find out what we’re up to. Don’t tell him anything. Hide the map.”

  The Hunters quickly surrounded the table, blocking Rourke from spying any of the little pieces they’d so carefully spread out across it.

  “Someone should take him to the cells,” one of the Hunters said.

  Shea suddenly strode in from the door leading to the living quarters, her eyes wide as she took in the situation. In an instant, she was across the floor. She stood by my side, joining the protective circle around Rourke.

  “Everyone needs to calm down. Phelan, you’ve known me all my life, yeah?” Shea said in a quiet, dangerous voice.

  Phelan nodded, his jaw flickering.

  “Rourke here is a personal friend of mine from the Academy. He’s not like the Autumns we’re fighting against. He supported Marin. I swear to you on my mother’s grave that he isn’t a spy. There’s no need to throw him in a cell. If anything, he could help us.”

  “Help you with what?” Rourke asked from behind us, his voice rising in anger. “What exactly is going on here and why have you brought Norah into it? Alwyn told me you’d gone off on some crazy mission to help the Summer fae, and I didn’t believe her at first. I didn’t even believe it all the way here. And now that I see it with my own eyes, I still can’t believe it. This is illogical.”

  “You see?” Shea asked with a tight smile. “He’s just another idiot who cares about nothing other than the changeling.”

  Phelan frowned but he flicked his fingers toward the Hunters and the guards. Reluctantly, they slowly eased away from the table and secured their weapons. I could see in their eyes that they still didn’t trust Rourke. Nothing we did or said would convince them that he was anything other than a typical Autumn fae. They would be on their guard.

  I turned toward Rourke then, to face him. His gaze swept across my face, reading my heart and my soul in a way that made me feel as if I stood there naked and exposed before him.

  “Tell me what’s going on, Norah.”

  “The Summer fae have asked me to do them a favor. I’ve agreed.”

  “What kind of favor?” His voice was edged in danger.

  I opened my mouth to speak, but I didn’t know where to begin.

  “Norah has a special skill that can help us get close to the Queen,” Phelan filled in for me, and I couldn’t help but notice the vagueness of his answer. He didn’t want to give Rourke the details.

  Rourke arched an eyebrow. “Norah has a great number of skills, I’ll admit, but so do many other fae, particularly your Hunters here. Hunters who have completed their training, and are not in the middle of it.”

  A beat passed. “None of my Hunters can weave shadows.”

  Rourke blinked, surprised, and then his eyes cut to me. “Is this true? You can shadow yourself?”

  I lifted my shoulders in a shrug. “I mean, I guess? Alastar over there said he saw me do it at the Feast of the Fae, but I didn’t realize it was happening.”

  “Right. So, they’re asking you to do something that you have no idea how to control.” Rourke scowled and turned toward Phelan. “And, let me guess, you intend for her to do this alone.”

  “She must,” the male fae said, his hand resting on the golden pommel of his sword. “The odds of her getting caught only increase if Liam accompanies her. The Queen knows him. He cannot blend in, particularly not with that blazing red hair.”

  Rourke pursed his lips. “I’ll go with Norah.”

  Silence rained down on the hall.

  “She needs protection, just in case something goes wrong,” Rourke repeated. “I will go with her. I am an Autumn fae. They will not expect anything from me.”

  “Fine. This isn’t my first choice, but it’s better than the alternative.” Phelan grabbed the wooden block from the war table and tossed it into the air. “You’ll go at dusk, two days from now. Now, it’s time to train.”

  We waited until the sun had set in the western skies before venturing outside for my first round of training. Until then, Rourke and Alastar had patiently explained the basics of the shadowing power to me. Apparently, Rourke was also familiar with it. At one time, he had attempted to master it himself, but he hadn’t been able to wield the magic of the realm in that way, no matter how hard he tried.

  First things first, it was easiest to control the power at night. Which made sense. There were more shadows at nighttime, after all. And it was best done under the cover of trees where tall, thick branches could block out the light of the moon. There was no explanation on how I was supposed to keep my shadowy mask going throughout the daylight hours, but we had to take this one step at a time.

  In lieu of trees, Rourke and I stood in the shadows of the castle grounds. Liam had stayed inside, more than a little grumpy that he was being left out of the mission. Alastar had joined the guards at the gates, filling in for the male who had fallen during the lightning storm.

  Even though they were nearby, I was very much aware of the fact that Rourke and I were practically alone. For the first time in...well, almost ever. There was that time when he’d led me into the forest to trap the pooka. And then there was that time he’d rescued me from the dungeons. But that was it. And I felt far more nervous about the situation than I’d expected.

  Rourke was...different than the others. Indeed, I wasn’t entirely sure he had any feelings for me at all. Everything about him unnerved me. His glittering eyes pierced my soul, seeing far more than anyone else. The way his lips pressed tightly together in that slight, chilling smile of his. The way he stared into the distance, as if he were calculating the precise moment the sky would shift from light to dark.

  “You do know that it isn’t polite to stare, Norah.”

  I blinked out of my reverie, and a flush filled my neck. Ripping my gaze away, I stared into the distance, focusing hard on the white spires of the Summer Court’s empty castle. What the hell was wrong with me? I always acted like a complete idiot around Rourke, and now, he’d caught me staring.

  “I was just wondering why you’re different than the other Autumn fae,” I said, still refusing to meet his gaze, afraid I might make an even bigger idiot out of myself if I did. “There must be a reason you decided to side with the rest of the realm instead of with your own kind.”

  “I see.” A pause. “You do know that we’re meant to be training you for this foolhardy mission, yes? I’m not certain why exchanging war stories would help you learn how to cloak yourself in shadows.”

  I just want to know what makes you tick.

  Rourke was impossible to read, and I realized that was part of what intrigued me about him. The others I understood. Maybe not fully but enough to have an inkling of what they might say or how they might react in a certain situation. Rourke? He was an enigma, a total mystery. The fact he’d shown up at the Summer Court, beating down doors and demanding a presence with the current leader? Well, it had been unexpected, to say the least. It was far more fire than I had ever seen in him before now.

  Of course, now that he had gotten what he wanted, now that he was standing here before me, that mask of his was firmly back in place.

  Or was it a mask?

  It was impossible to say.

  “If we’re going to be teaming up to go on what you call a foolhardy mission, don’t you think I should know a little bit more about you?” I finally plucked up the courage to glance back at him again, and a small timid smile donned my lips. “Surely you can see the logic in that.”

  “Hmph.” Rourke crossed his arms over his chest and gave a slight nod. “I’ll tell you what. Every time you make progress, I’ll answer one of your questions. Maybe that will give you enough incentive to properly focus on this task.”

  “And you’ll answer them honestly? No twisting your words around to mean something
entirely different than what you actually said?”

  He regarded me for a long moment before he nodded again. “I will answer your questions honestly.”

  This long night of training had just gotten a hell of a lot more interesting.

  I grinned and bent my knees, prepping myself the way I usually did when we were setting up to train back at the Academy. So far in our daily classes, we’d focused on physical confrontations, building up our skills with our fists, our swords, and our daggers, instead of relying on magic to save the day all the time.

  He let out an eerie, quiet chuckle, one that was so much different than the booming laugh of Liam, the twinkling song of Finn’s merriment, and the sharpness of Kael’s tone. It was a sound that slithered under my skin and took root, somehow tempting me closer to this strange, mysterious fae I so desperately yearned to know.

  “No need to act like you’re going to pounce me,” Rourke said in a cool voice. “None of what we’re about to do will be physical, though I suppose you will…feel something interesting if we do this correctly.”

  My cheeks flamed as my mind transformed his words into something they most certainly didn’t mean. An image sprung into my mind. One where I leapt across this dark space and launched myself into his arms. Frowning, I shook my head at myself. Focus, Norah.

  I relaxed my stance, though there was nothing that could release the tension that gripped my body.

  “Good.” He nodded. “Now, as far as I can tell, you should focus on the varying shades of light in this world. There is the sun and the moon. Black and white and everything in between. Darkness and light, and therefore shadows, are a part of everything.”

  That was a little more abstract than what I’d hoped for.

  “See the shadows, Norah. Here, come closer.”

  I hesitated, but then my feet carried me across the short distance that separated us. He held out a hand, and I slid mine into his. His touch was cold and electric, simmering with a strange humming energy that sparked goosebumps along my skin. Rourke smiled and brought my hand up to his face. Everything within me squeezed tight.

  “Now,” he said, lowering his voice. “I want you to focus on my face. There is more light here.” He dragged my hand to touch his left cheek, the side of his face that was highlighted by the faint light of the distant moon. After a moment of tense, unspoken words, he then dragged my hand to his other cheek. “Over here, there is darkness. And here...” He curved my hand around his strong, angular jaw. “Shadows.”

  I had no idea what was happening anymore, or why we were here, or what I was supposed to do. My mind and body were engulfed with the feel of him, with the sensation of electricity crackling between our skin. I had no idea if Rourke felt it or if I was only imagining it in my head, but it was the only thing in the world that existed in that moment. Rourke. And his jaw. And his fingers curled tight around mine. The shadows were there, too, yes. The darker shades that merely highlighted the strong curve of his jaw, and the lips that were slightly parted. The tongue that darted out between them when he smiled.

  “Are you ready to make your first attempt?”

  “Huh?” Heart racing in my chest, I moved my gaze from his lips to his golden eyes. He wanted to make our first attempt. At kissing, I hoped. Because I had a bone-deep certainty that Rourke was very good at kissing.

  “Norah.” His lips twisted into a devious smile. “I need you to make your first attempt at calling to the shadows. If you get it right, I will answer any question you have for me. Any question.”

  My heart raced. I definitely had some questions, alright, but I didn’t think I would have the guts to voice them out loud. For one, I was desperate to know if he felt this same strange exhilaration when he was around me. Did his skin spark, just like mine did? Did his mind get consumed by the scent of crackling leaves and rich, damp earth?

  “I’ll try,” I managed to whisper.

  Rourke took just the slightest of steps back, enough that my trembling hand now fell to my side. For a moment, I found it impossible to focus on the task at hand. My feet itched to erase the distance between us again. All it would take was one small step, and I’d be back within his gravitational pull, one so strong that not even the largest rocket could pull me away.

  The shadows, Norah. That’s why we’re here. Save the realm, live happily ever after. Remember?

  With a deep breath, I closed my eyes. I tried to recall how I’d felt back in the chaos of the Feast of the Fae. I let my mind replay the images in my head. The screaming changelings. The darkness that swirled in the Autumn fae’s eyes. And then I opened my eyes, focusing my gaze on Rourke’s face. The shadows that clung to his chin, the darkness that curled underneath the bottom curve of his lips.

  A strange sensation tiptoed down the back of my neck, something almost akin to unease. A sickly fear twisted in my mind, and strange horrible thoughts began to dance through my head. Grief consumed me, though grief for what I didn’t know.

  Rourke’s eyes widened just a hint, enough to let me know that I’d done something, even if I wasn’t entirely sure what it was just yet.

  “Well done, Norah. Now, let go.”

  I closed my eyes to block out his face and the shadows I’d collected from his skin.

  Instantly, that eerie sensation flickered away, but in its place, an intense weariness settled into my bones. I felt...absolutely destroyed. As if I’d run an entire marathon without a single drink of water. My heart ached from a horrible sadness.

  Knees wobbly, I opened my eyes. Rourke’s strong arms encircled my waist, and he gently eased me to the ground.

  He settled in beside me, curling a finger under my chin and searching my eyes. “It seems your power comes with some unintended consequences. Are you alright?”

  “I’m fine,” I said, breath shaky in my lungs. “Just...exhausted, really. I feel like I could use a really long nap.”

  He gave a curt nod. “We’ll try again after you’ve rested. Would you like my help getting to your quarters?”

  “Not so fast there, buddy,” I said, shooting him a weak grin. “We had a deal. I make progress. You answer a question.”

  He let out a low chuckle. “You’re too weak to stand, but that doesn’t matter as much as picking my brain. Go on, then. What would you like to know about me, Norah?”

  Everything.

  Chapter Eight

  The intensity of my training ramped up another notch after that. We worked at it all throughout the next night. At first, I found it as draining as I had the first time around, but I kept my mind firmly focused on the good things, the happier things, the parts of my world and my life that brought light into my life.

  The sadness still burrowed deep within my bones, but focusing on Rourke helped me ignore it. We kept our game going, and I found myself eager to hear the next insight into his life.

  “You once said you joined the Autumn rebels,” I said, the question flowing from me without hesitation. “Why?”

  A pause. “I hoped to see the realm return to what it once was.”

  “What was it about the realm before that you loved so much?” I asked him as I swiped the sweat off my brow. “Was it just because Queen Marin was a better ruler?”

  “Objectively, Queen Marin was a better ruler. Subjectively...well, obviously not everyone agreed.” Rourke smiled. “It was not just Marin though. It was all of us, all the fae. We were better than we are now, though some say it’s because she brought out the best in us, and now our rulers bring out our worst.”

  “Better how?”

  “Ah.” He grinned. “That’s a second question.”

  “Come on, Rourke,” I said in a teasing tone of voice. “I just kept myself shadowed for two full minutes, and it felt like the world was ending. How about two questions then? One for each minute.”

  He let out a low chuckle. “Soon enough, you’re going to be keeping yourself shadowed for thirty minutes and more. Don’t tell me you’re going to lob thirty questions at me at on
ce.”

  I grinned. “Sounds good to me.”

  “Surely you don’t even have thirty more things you want to know about me. I know I’d grow tired of listening to someone ramble on about themselves.”

  If he were almost anyone else, that might be true. But Rourke was an enigma that was now starting to take shape, a one-of-a-kind shape I’d never seen before. He was a contradiction of sorts. He could be calculating and cruel, but the warmth he felt toward those who truly mattered to him was as soft as a summer’s golden sun. He had a matter-of-fact way of looking at the world, but he was also intensely nostalgic about how things used to be. He was practical, but he was a dreamer. He was all those things and more.

  “I want you to tell me everything about you, Rourke. You could go on for hours, and I’d never get bored.”

  Rourke’s breath caught. I heard it, despite the way he cleared his throat as a way to cover it up. He strode toward me and stared deeply into my eyes, his golden strands flickering underneath the torchlight. “What is it about me that you find so fascinating? I fear I’m not who you imagine me to be.”

  “And yet, the more I learn about you, the more certain I am that you are exactly who I imagine you to be.”

  “And who is that?” he said, his voice insistent.

  I shook my head, at a loss for how to put my feelings into words. “It’s hard to explain. It doesn’t even make any sense. But there’s something about you...everything about you, really...it calls to my soul.”

  A long pause followed. Roarke cleared his throat. Our gazes locked, and an overwhelming tension rocketed between us.

  “I did agree to tell you the complete truth, though when I do I doubt you’ll feel the same.” And then his back stiffened, his expression turning dark and cold. “Before I joined the rebels, I met with them a few times. I wasn’t quite sure yet if it was a group I wanted to join. The rumors about them painted them as chaotic and violent, two things I very much am not. I tried to keep myself shadowed, to hide my movements from view. But Viola found out.”