Can't Find My Way Home

by Carlene Thompson

  Wounds to the hands, arms, face, abdomen, the deep slash to the neck and, finally, a five-inch blade jabbed into the heart. This murder hadn’t been committed by a person Sam had found spending the night in an empty house, even if that person had been a criminal on the run. Sam Fenney had been murdered by someone with a violent rage against him. No doubt the person who’d made the call to his house around eight o’clock.

  The person who’d made the call they couldn’t trace.

  Later that evening, Garrett called. Brynn answered and, as soon as she heard his voice, she panicked. ‘What is it? Have you found Mark?’

  ‘No, Brynn. I’m sorry I scared you by calling.’

  Brynn took a deep breath. ‘It’s OK. I’m just nervous in general.’

  ‘What are you and Cassie doing?’

  ‘Cassie and I?’ Brynn asked, puzzled. He sounded so casual. ‘Cassie’s on the city council. She’s at a meeting. I was watching a movie, or rather looking at it. I can’t concentrate.’

  ‘I hate to ask, but I need a favor from you.’

  A favor? At first the word didn’t register with Brynn – not coming from Garrett. Then, without thinking, she said, ‘Anything.’

  ‘Would you mind coming to my house for a while? Savannah’s upset.’ He lowered his voice. ‘She’s barely spoken since we found Sam. I’ve been getting really worried. Then tonight we were watching a TV show and she suddenly burst into terrible sobs. She’s still not talking – except to ask for you.’ Garrett took a deep breath. ‘I think she’s been silent because she was so horrified by Sam’s murder she just went numb, but the trauma has broken through tonight. I’m obviously not handling things too well and I thought maybe you could—’

  ‘I’ll be right there,’ Brynn interrupted. ‘I know the street where you live, but not the house. I need the address.’

  ‘Deputy Carder will bring you.’ The day after Sam’s murder, Garrett had assigned round-the-clock surveillance for Brynn and tonight Dwight Carder was on duty.

  ‘Oh. Will he wait for me while I’m at your house?’

  ‘No, I’ll send him back to Cassie’s while you’re here. I don’t want her to come home and find Ray waiting for her – she needs protection, too, even though she won’t admit it. When you’re ready to go home, I’ll call for him to come back and pick you up.’

  ‘Fine,’ Brynn said. ‘Does Savannah need anything? I mean, is she feeling well? Is there something from the drugstore I could get for her?’

  ‘She just needs you.’ She heard Garrett take a deep, relieved breath. ‘Thanks a lot, Brynn. See you soon.’

  Fifteen minutes later, Deputy Carder pulled up in front of a staid, two-story white Georgian house with black shutters. Brynn smiled when she knocked on the bright front door. Garrett opened it almost immediately. ‘Hi,’ she said. ‘I like your door!’

  Garrett grinned. ‘This was Savannah’s great-grandmother’s house. The door used to be black. It had always been black, just like the shutters, but Savannah said all black and white made the house look “duller than dull.” It wasn’t easy because Grams hated change, but my daughter talked her into having the door painted what she called peony pink coral. Savannah could charm that woman into anything.’

  ‘I like it. The color is more festive and distinctive than plain red.’

  ‘Grams came to like it, too, although she wouldn’t admit it. Anyway, be sure to tell Savannah you like it. She’ll be pleased.’ He smiled at her, then seemed to give himself a mental shake. ‘I asked you to come over and then I keep you on the porch discussing the color of the front door. I don’t mind admitting I’m shaken up. Come in.’

  As Brynn stepped inside the house, Garrett nodded to Carder in the car, who pulled away from the curb. ‘How’s Savannah?’ Brynn asked.

  ‘Not good. She seemed to cheer up a little bit when I told her you were coming, though.’

  ‘Well, that’s something. I just hope I can help.’

  As Brynn entered the house, she saw large, cool rooms decorated with pale walls, hooked rugs on hardwood floors and some blue and pink chintz upholstered furniture. As Garrett led her into the living room, though, she focused on the teenage girl who sat huddled in the corner of a long couch, sniffling.

  ‘Hi, Savannah,’ Brynn said softly.

  In spite of the warm night, Savannah wore long jeans, heavy socks and a navy-blue hoody zipped to her throat, hood up. A moment passed before she raised her head to show a blotchy face, swollen eyelids and waxy-pale lips. Some tangles of her beautiful blonde hair peeked from beneath the hood and her nose was bright pink. Henry sat on the floor by her side and she kept a hand on his head.

  ‘Hi, Brynn,’ Savannah said in a flat, nasal voice. ‘How come you’re here?’

  Savannah wasn’t a child and she was extremely intelligent. Brynn decided excuses would only create distance between them. ‘Your father called me and told me you weren’t doing so well. He asked if I could come over and help you.’

  ‘I’m sorry he bothered you.’

  ‘He didn’t bother me,’ Brynn said sincerely. ‘Even though I don’t know you well, you mean a lot to me.’

  Tears brimmed in Savannah’s eyes.

  ‘Besides, the movie I was watching on TV was lousy.’

  Savannah finally smiled weakly. ‘What was it?’

  ‘Something with a ditzy girl trying to choose between two idiot guys. Cassie’s at a city council meeting.’

  Savannah abruptly burst into tears again and Henry moved closer to her, gazing at Brynn warily, protecting the love of his life. Brynn walked toward the couch while Garrett hovered in the doorway. ‘Honey, what’s wrong?’ Brynn asked softly. ‘Do you think it would be easier to talk if just Henry and I were here?’

  Savannah raised her head and cast a guilty look at her father. ‘Well …’

  ‘I have to make a few calls,’ Garrett said casually. He glanced at his watch. ‘As a matter of fact, the mayor was expecting a call from me about half an hour ago.’ He grinned. ‘If I’m even ten minutes later than I am now, he’ll fire me!’

  He vanished and Savannah gave Brynn a shaky smile. ‘Dad’s a county-elected official – the city mayor can’t fire him. Besides, they’re like best friends.’

  Brynn grinned back. ‘You are too smart for your own good, Savannah Dane. Mind if I sit down next to you?’

  Savannah leaned forward and patted the couch.

  Brynn looked at the dog watching her warily. ‘Will Henry mind?’

  ‘’Course not. Henry thinks you’re cool.’

  Brynn rolled her eyes. ‘Oh, that’s what all the dogs think,’ she said insouciantly, shrugging her shoulder and earning a giggle from Savannah. She sat down on the chintz-covered couch about a foot from Savannah, who emerged slightly from her hoodie and began fidgeting with a chain around her neck.

  ‘New necklace?’ Brynn asked.

  Savannah pulled out the chain. ‘New dog whistle after Henry ran away from me the other night. Dad says it’s not so powerful it will hurt his ears.’

  ‘That’s good.’ Brynn smiled. ‘OK, kiddo, tell me what’s going on with you.’

  An hour later, Garrett sat at his desk in a little room at the back of the house he used as an office. His back was to her and he jumped when Brynn appeared and spoke to him. ‘She’s so exhausted, she’ll sleep through the night.’

  He turned. ‘Really? She’s all right?’

  ‘She’s OK and Henry’s with her. I’d say she’ll be all right in the morning.’

  Garrett looked at her searchingly. She looked serious but not grim. He took a deep breath before asking carefully, ‘Would you be breaking a confidence by telling me exactly what’s wrong?’

  ‘Quite a few things are bothering Savannah.’ Garrett felt himself tensing and Brynn said quickly, ‘Wait, I phrased that wrong – made it sound more serious than it is.’

  ‘Does she need professional help?’

  ‘I’m not a psychologist, but I don’t think so. Not at all
. I think it’s just a build-up of a lot of things – things that time and a few adjustments in her life can change. That’s only my opinion, but—’

  ‘I respect your opinion.’ Garrett swallowed. ‘Brynn, Savannah is the most important thing in my life. I’ll do anything to see she grows up healthy and happy.’

  ‘I know. And I want to help you, even if all I can do is calm her down by talking to her and maybe even keeping her entertained. After we talked, I spent about twenty minutes reading to her from one of my books.’

  ‘I’ll bet she loved that.’ He stood up. ‘Let’s go in the kitchen and talk.’

  The kitchen looked as if it hadn’t been redecorated since the 1970s. The scrupulously clean gold and white vinyl floor had cracked in places, avocado-colored Formica covered the scratched oak cabinets and matched the refrigerator and stove. Two dim ceiling light fixtures gave the room a gloomy look.

  Garrett noticed Brynn glancing around. ‘I know. Dated. Grams wouldn’t allow anything except Savannah’s room to be redecorated. This is how the house looked when she and her husband moved in.’

  ‘Except for the peony pink coral door.’

  Garrett laughed. ‘Except for the door!’ He opened the refrigerator. ‘Well, what’ll it be? Coke, ice water, a glass of grocery store cheap wine, or lemonade Savannah made?’

  ‘Lemonade, please. I haven’t had a glass of homemade lemonade for years.’

  Garrett motioned toward an oval table at the end of the kitchen. Beside the table was a wall covered with a glaring yellow and avocado wave-patterned paper.

  ‘Wow,’ Brynn murmured. ‘I think I’m getting dizzy.’

  Garrett burst into laughter. ‘I told you Grams wouldn’t let anything be changed. The house is almost a hundred years old and could be beautiful, but … well, Savannah wants some changes, thank God, and it’s her house.’

  ‘Her house. This house belongs to Savannah?’

  ‘Yeah. Patty’s father died and Patty’s mother raised her. Needless to say, Grams wasn’t impressed with her daughter’s parenting skills.’

  ‘I heard that Grams was Savannah’s mother’s mother?’

  ‘Yeah. Most people assume she was my grandmother, but mine hasn’t lived around here for quite a while. After Patty left, Grams opened her house to Savannah and me and I jumped at the chance. I sure didn’t want Savannah raised by Patty’s mother, not that she wanted to be saddled with Savannah anyway. Like mother, like daughter.

  ‘Grams was horrified by Patty’s desertion of her child and she wanted to make certain that her great-grandchild would own this house,’ Garrett went on. ‘Grams cared about me, but she thought there was a chance I might get married again and if she left the house to me, a second wife might cause trouble – splitting of assets and all that. She made the most iron-clad will in history leaving the house to Savannah, held in trust by me until Savannah is twenty-one. Patty can’t possibly return to town and try to take it, although I’ve been steeled every day since Grams died for exactly that event.’

  ‘Where is your ex-wife?’ Brynn asked softly.

  ‘I don’t know. Her last Christmas card to Savannah came two years ago and was postmarked Las Vegas. We haven’t heard from her since then. I don’t think she keeps in touch with anyone else in town. All I care about is that she stays wherever she is and never bothers us again.’ He hesitated. ‘Does Savannah want her mother to come back since Grams died? Is that what’s wrong with her?’

  ‘Just the opposite,’ Brynn said quickly. ‘She’s afraid her mother will come back. She’s a savvy girl, Garrett. She knows her mother could try to get this house or, well … take her, not because Patty wants her, but because she has an ulterior motive.’

  ‘My God!’ Color flowed and ebbed in Garrett’s face. ‘I’ve been worried about the same thing but I had no idea it had crossed Savannah’s mind.’

  ‘Well, it has, and she doesn’t feel safe, partly because she’s spending her days with the woman next door – Mrs Persinger? The Doily Lady as Savannah calls her.’

  Garrett closed his eyes. ‘Of course she doesn’t feel safe. Mrs Persinger is a retired grade school teacher. She loves children and she’s especially fond of Savannah, but she’s seventy-six and looks and acts ten years older. She means well but she’s vague and frail. She lives alone and doesn’t have any younger friends – not even middle-aged people.’

  ‘The situation with Savannah’s great-grandmother was different?’

  ‘As different as possible. Grams was seventy-six too, but she could work me into the ground, and was one of those people who seemed like they could handle anything. She loved people in general and had them coming and going all day – even young women with babies and toddlers. Savannah loved to play with the kids. Grams was a widow, but she was rarely alone. That gave Savannah a sense of security. Grams had energy and strength and joy for life. She kept Savannah busy with a dozen hobbies and activities.’

  Garrett stopped for a moment, his throat working. Finally, he said, ‘I couldn’t believe it when Grams dropped dead of a heart attack. We didn’t even know she had heart trouble. I thought she’d live to be a hundred.’

  ‘What a shock that must have been for both you and Savannah,’ Brynn said softly.

  ‘Yes. I think we were in a daze for at least a couple of weeks. Then I had to make some other arrangements for Savannah. Mrs Persinger really likes to look after her when I’m at work, but the poor thing rocks and crochets and maunders about the past all day. I haven’t found anyone suitable and I’ve done a bad job—’

  ‘Stop it,’ Brynn said sharply. ‘You haven’t done a bad job. Savannah’s great-grandmother has only been dead seven weeks. You’re not a miracle-worker. You’ve done the right thing. After all, you couldn’t drag Savannah to work with you.’

  Garrett shrugged, not feeling better. I could have tried harder, he thought. I could have interviewed younger women who are more active, more fun, more … something …

  ‘She worries about you,’ Brynn said, breaking his train of thought. ‘Of course, she worries because you’re the sheriff and she thinks you’re in constant danger.’

  ‘I’m not. Things aren’t always the way they’ve been lately.’

  ‘But she worries about more than your job. She worries because you’re alone.’

  ‘I’m not alone. I have her.’

  Brynn’s gaze shifted slightly and she said quickly, ‘She thinks you need, and I quote, “someone your own age.” She wishes you had a girlfriend. Well, really, she wishes you had a wife. She’s not one of those jealous, possessive little girls who wants all of Daddy’s attention. She’s afraid you’re lonely. She wants you to find love. And, frankly, I don’t think she’d mind having a mother.’

  ‘A mother?’ Garrett felt a shockwave go through him. He thought most girls Savannah’s age resented their mothers who wouldn’t let them wear what they wanted, or go wherever they wanted, or disapproved of any boy they had a crush on. ‘A mother?’ Garrett repeated. ‘I never dreamed she’d want a mother. Am I stupid? I thought adolescent girls wanted as much freedom as they could get.’

  ‘They think they do. When I was just twelve, I got frustrated with my father sometimes because he could be strict. But later, when I didn’t have him anymore and my mother had to work, I realized how much I wished I had two parents who cared about what I did. I guess I decided freedom was overrated.’

  ‘I can’t say I’ve tried very hard to find someone. I’ve dated a few women through the years since Patty left, but that was such a bad experience …’

  ‘You couldn’t get over her?’ Brynn finally asked.

  Garrett looked at her in surprise. ‘No! I mean, she didn’t break my heart or anything romantic like that. I haven’t been pining for her all these years. Hell, I was only twenty-two when I married her. She was twenty.’ He lowered his voice. ‘I’ll be honest – Patty was pregnant with Savannah. She talked about getting an abortion, but I didn’t want that. I wanted a family, especially be
cause my own was such a mess.’ He saw curiosity flare in Brynn’s eyes. ‘William Bale Dane was a good sheriff but he wasn’t a good father. And my mother was too scared of him to do much except try to stay out of his way. Anyway, I had this crazy idea that I could turn everything around for myself. I thought I loved Patty. I thought I’d be a great father.’ He shook his head. ‘God, I was stupid.’

  ‘You’ve been a great father. No one can doubt how much you love Savannah.’

  ‘Maybe. But that’s not enough. That’s not all I wanted – want – for her. Patty and I weren’t happy but I thought she cared enough about Savannah to stay around, even if we got divorced. Instead, she turned out to be the flake of all flakes and ran off with a guy. Don’t think that didn’t get the town talking.’

  ‘I know all about small town gossip.’

  ‘I guess you would.’ Garrett tried to smile at her, but his face was tight with pent-up emotion. ‘After I finally managed to divorce her, I tried dating, but I must have bad taste in women. Just lately I got myself entangled with Rhonda Sanford, a real head case.’

  Brynn couldn’t help smiling. ‘So I heard.’

  ‘From who?’

  ‘It’s “whom” and Savannah, for one.’

  ‘Oh, God.’ Garrett bent his head. ‘I wish I’d never seen her, much less asked her out. Grams kept telling me I needed a woman in my life, though. I hadn’t had a date for a year when I met Rhonda and at first she was fine. Pleasant, intelligent, good company.’

  ‘And beautiful.’

  ‘Well, yes. At least, that’s what everyone said. I thought she was attractive but there was just something about her – maybe a coldness in her eyes – that never appealed to me. And I let things go on too long. It wasn’t until I sensed that she didn’t like Savannah that I knew I had to end things.’

  Brynn hesitated. ‘Garrett, from what Cassie’s told me, Rhonda doesn’t just dislike Savannah. It’s worse than that. And Rhonda partly blames Savannah for your break-up. Maybe partly is too weak a word.’