Forever and Always

by Gretchen Guse

  "Jared!" She exclaimed and waited patiently as he made his way towards her and Annie.

  "Hey Annie." He gave her a slight smile and then tossed one at Scar.

  "Wanna go to Annie's after school?" Scarlett asked, her voice sounding casual, her hazel eyes begging him to say yes.

  Annie's face fell, her smile disappeared.

  "Sure." He said cocking his head slightly. "Meet you outside at three."

  Annie frowned and although she wanted to stay near her friend, she left angrily.

  "I just don't think you should get involved with the best friend of your ex." Annie stated.

  It was Sunday and Annie was packing up her bag from last night's weekly sleep over.

  Scarlett sighed and rolled her eyes. She loved Annie like a sister and took her advice on everything... except boys. Annie didn't keep boyfriends around ... because she was so paranoid and un-trusting. The girl had a great personality and a drop dead body. She had long wavy. blond hair, gray eyes and a stellar figure, but again, she lacked trust.

  "Jared is cool, okay?" Scarlett said well applying her favorite lip gloss.

  It was Annie's turn to roll eyes as she glanced up at Scar.

  "Hey, if it wasn't Jared I wouldn't be tell you any of this!" She stated clearly.

  Sure. Scarlett thought, because her drama queen friend would probably have tons more to say.

  "Jared can be a self-conceited jerk sometimes." She continued, but Scar had already tuned her out. Her thoughts turned to Levi. He was so sexy and kind. Short, dark brown hair, brown eyes, a great laugh and an ability to make you feel better about everything. They had been dating for one month and already she was falling head over heels for him.

  His best friend wasn't so caring, he could be selfish, but their conversation over coffee the other day had seemed genuine.

  "Not to mention he's got one thing on his mind. SEX! Hell, he's probably got Levi wrapped around his dirty finger." Annie kept rambling on.

  Scarlett laughed and shook her head. Once Annie got going, there was no stopping her. She pushed her friend lightly and they giggled together.

  Scarlett watched Annie go and wondered what Jared and her looked like, because in honesty she didn't try to flirt... but maybe in the process of healing she was. She didn't want to let Jared go too... but it felt like she was betraying her love for Levi. She felt a tear sting her eye and turned towards class. He was like therapy for her.

  Chapter5

  "Hun, it's not like you haven't told her no." Emma said to her daughter as she made a box of macaroni.

  Scarlett sighed heavily and continued writing the essay for history that was due tomorrow.

  She knew her mother was right, over the last three weeks she had told Annie no, no, no, no over and over again, but it wasn't like Annie to cancel. She had tried to call Annie, but every time it went straight to voice-mail. She got up from the table, just wanting to go into her room... hole herself up like she had become so used too.

  "Maybe we could go out for dinner tonight?" Her mother suggested looking down at the pot of macaroni.

  Scarlett looked back at Emma and shrugged.

  Emma sighed and a pang of sadness rushed through her eyes. Her daughter wasn't always so closed off from the family.They used to fight, but what family doesn't have issues?

  "Pizza night!" Paul loudly announced as he slammed the front door behind him.

  Chris came out and grinned at his son. "Why is it you can't remember your chores, but you remember pizza night?" He asked, phone in hand.

  "Because pizza rocks and chores suck!" Scarlett said with a laugh as she walked into the open living room. She was still a little mad at her mom for not letting Levi come over, but she figured pizza night was one of those family traditions only the four of them could have.

  "What she said!" Paul agreed with his sister and hurried down the hall, opening the door to his room and promptly tossed his school bag into the mess of a room.

  "Paul... if I can't see three feet of your floor, you are grounded." His mother shouted from her bedroom.

  He groaned and started kicking things aside.

  "Cleaning man of the year award." Scarlett said rolling her eyes. She gave him a slow clap and flopped down on his bed.

  "Shut up!" He said throwing a heap of clothes into the already crammed closet.

  "So what movie you wanna see?" She asked.

  "The Fog!" He exclaimed.

  "We are not watching that movie AGAIN!" She retorted. It was a retarded movie yet it was his favorite and the one movie they watched over and over again.

  "Why not something new, it's 2010... there are other movies in the world besides."

  "That horrible piece of movie making budgets." Chris interrupted leaning casually against the door frame.

  "Exactly!" Scarlett exclaimed laughing at the stunned expression on her little brother's face.

  "Fine let's just watch some stupid chick flick!" He said glaring at Scar.

  "Ew no!" She said. She had always hated the chick flick genre, if anything she preferred independent films and comedy.

  "I now pronounce you chuck and Larry." They heard their mother's voice float down the hall.

  They all shrugged and headed for the living room. As the movie began she felt her pants vibrate and pulled her phone out. She looked at it, a text from Levi. She smiled wanting so badly to text him back, but no matter how much she liked him this was the rare family night; laughter, good times, just family.

  Scarlett stared at the pictures. They hung in all different directions on her full length mirror. She saw the picture taken when she was only about five at Disney World. There was one of Paul and her cutting Barbie hair, the whole family hugging and kissing only a few years ago in the backyard, Paul and her making funny faces and so many more of the family. Annie and her hugging, Annie and Scarlett screaming, goofing around. Then... Levi and her kissing at a party, Levi giving her a warm embrace, Levi and her joking around. Jared, Levi and Scarlett. The latest one she had hung she was zipped up close to him in his green hoodie. She looked back at the hoodie lying on the bed and blinked away the tears. She grabbed a scarf from her wardrobe, climbed out the small window and tied it around the gutter. She made a loop for her neck and carefully crawled down, putting the scarf around her neck. "I'm coming." She whispered and she let go, her body dropping down heavily hitting only air.

  Chapter6

  Scarlett fell quickly, her weight seemed to take over. She felt air rush past her face and the sharpness of the scarf dig into her neck. She tried to hang on to life for a little while, but soon blackness shadowed her and it seemed to take her into a deep sleep.

  "MOM! DAD!" Paul screamed, he was standing under his sister. Standing on top of the snow covered flower bed.

  Chris and Emma hurried outside to see what their son was yelling about. It didn't take long as they followed his gaze. Emma screamed and burst into tears well Chris ran into the house to get her down. He bounded down the hall and pushed open his daughter's door. He hurriedly crawled out to the roof and tried to lift her up.

  Emma's screams got louder, the neighbors started peeping out their doors and windows.

  Paul ran to call 911, would his sister live? Why did this have to happen? She used to love life.

  "Paaauuulll!" Scar called for her brother.

  "I'm coming." He responded finally coming outside where she was waiting with Levi's arm wrapped around her waist.

  "Let's goo, Levi's taking you on the roller coaster." Scarlett said with a gag. She hated roller coasters, but Paul loved them.

  "SWEEEETTT." He did his fan-girl scream and started dragging them down the street. The town fair was only a few blocks away and he couldn't wait.

  "This is like the highlight of my year." Levi commented as they walked down the street only lit by street lamps.

  "Aw, thanks babe, glad I'm so entertaining." Scarlett said playfully hitting him.

  "Don't worry, your my third
favorite thing." He said with a grin and flinched away when she reached to hit him. "At least Sarah Mulligan is fifth!" He exclaimed. Levi was laughing so hard his sides started to hurt.

  Scarlett held back a grin and glared at him. He started running down the sidewalk, Scarlett hot on his trail. She kicked off her ballet flats and ran even faster.

  Paul looked at the shoes and decided to leave them there, they were ugly anyway. He took off after the "happy couple" grinning a little himself. He finally caught up to them and stepped back a little.

  "Get a freakin' room!" He said and they pulled away from their kiss.

  Scarlett pushed her brother lightly and giggled.

  "Now can we go to the roller-coaster please!!!" Paul said to Levi who faked a salute.

  "Sir yes sir." He said and straightened his posture.

  Paul just rolled his eyes and started dragging Levi towards the ride.

  "I'll text you when we're done. Love you!" Levi called back to Scarlett.

  "Love you too!" She called back. She watched them disappear into the huge crowd before she went off to find a funnel cake. Roller coasters might be her brother's thing, but funnel cakes were all her's.

  "Funnel Cakes!" Paul exclaimed.

  Chris and Emma gave their son a confused look. "What?" Emma asked tiredly.

  "She loves them, we should get her one! Maybe it would cheer her up." He smiled weakly.

  Chris sighed and suddenly felt as if he might cry. "She just tried to kill herself Paul! Don't you think funnel cakes are the last thing she needs? She's losing her mind."

  "Christopher!" Emma exclaimed and looked around nervously. They were all sitting in the lobby of the small hospital waiting for news.

  "What?! It's true Em, she's lost, confused, whatever. I tried to be patient with her, but this is unbelievable." People were starting to stare and Paul had slouched nervously in his seat.

  "She's your daughter! The boy she loved was killed in her arms, what do you expect?!" Emma's usually composed self was starting to wear off as she became furious.

  "It's been what three weeks? She could at least start saying a sentence everyday, hanging out with Annie OR stop groping Levi's best friend." Chris was shouting now.

  "Groping? You son of a bitch, she find comfort in Jared, you should respect that!" Emma was ready to hit him, her heart was racing. Security guards were coming down the hall to escort them out, but Chris stormed out before they reached the cluster of seating.

  "Is everything okay ma'm?" One of the officers asked.

  "Yes, yes I'm so sorry." She said sitting down next to Paul. She was trying to hard not to cry.

  "Alright, well please try to keep it quiet." He said walking off.

  "She's awake." A nurse scurried in as soon as the men left. "She's asking for... Jared."

  Emma closed her eyes as warm tears stung her cheeks. Maybe her husband was right, maybe it wasn't just comfort she found in him.

  Chapter7

  It took a week before Scarlett was released from the hospital and despite her still fragile state, Chris went Rockefeller on her. It was complete lock-down... and a counselor.

  Scarlett hadn't recovered much in the hospital and to worry the situation more, she didn't seem to register ther seriousness of suicide. Jared had been by the house almost every day, he, like the rest of the household, thought if he was around she wouldn't sway out the window again. Annie on the other hand had become distant to her once best friend, finding it difficult to deal with all the depression.

  "Morning Scarlett." Emma said, peaking her head into the dark, dank room.

  Scarlett turned over to look at her mother, anger penetrating with her words, "I'm not going."

  "Sweetie, you need to see someone."

  "I don't need some shrink telling me I'm crazy!" Scarlett shouted, burying her head into her pillow.

  "It's not like that!" Emma said quietly, playing with some necklaces on the bedside table. "I'll be waiting in the car." She finally said, leaving her daughter.

  "Mom... I like this sweater, dad gave it to me!" Levi protested, he was standing in his messy room arguing with his mom.

  "You've worn it all week! Levi, the sweater needs to be washed."

  "Yeah... but it smells, masculine."

  "No, it smells dirty! And dad giving it to you has nothing to do with washing it, it's a lame excuse."

  "But it's my excuse." He said grinning.

  "Please give it too me, I don't need you getting mud on it when you play football."

  "Mom, I was gonna give it to Scar today if she got cold, you wouldn't want her to get hypothermia, would you?"

  "It's seventy nine degrees outside! Besides, I think she would appreciate it more if it didn't smell like sweat."

  "Fine, but I'm wearing it tomorrow." He unzipped the green hoodie and handed it to Sarah.

  "I don't care, although I don't know why you would wanna wear it in this heat!"

  "Style, duh mom." Levi imitated a girl's voice and pretended to flip his hair.

  Sarah laughed and headed for the laundry room. "You're such a clown."

  "A clown? Mom, really? I'm a diva!" He kept his girl voice as he made his mother laugh. He had that effect on people, even the stupidest jokes, worst situations... he made em' laugh.

  It didn't take long for Scarlett to get up, throw on the hoodie and go out to the car. She didn't wanna go see a therapist, but she knew Chris would be pissed if she didn't. The drive there was quiet, only the sound of the wheels over pot holes interrupting their thoughts.

  When they did arrive at the small private practice Scarlett crossed her arms. She opened her mouth to refuse exiting the SUV, but suddenly she remembered what Jared had said to her just the other day.

  "You've been through a lot Scar, but your parents have been through just as much. They have to live around your grief and I'm not saying not to be sad, but maybe you should go to at least one session with this therapist."

  She took a deep breath and got out, slamming the door behind her. She followed Em into the almost empty building and up to the circular desk.

  "My daughter, Scarlett Jonas has an appointment with Renny Polwalski." Emma told the small woman with obviously dyed black hair, who sat behind the desk.

  Renny?

  "Oh yes of course... she's waiting for you, the first door on the left." The woman pointed and gave them a genuine smile.

  Emma looked at her daughter, running a hand down Scarlett's short, red hair and gave her a small smile. "Ready?"

  "No." Scarlett snapped, but followed her mother down the hall none the less.

  As they entered the room she was hit was the scent of lavender, which made her sneeze rather loudly.

  "Scarlett, correct?" A petite woman in a black pencil skirt and white blouse held out her hand. She had long red hair that made Scarlett envious.

  "Yes, um should I wait out in the lobby?" Emma spoke for Scarlett and received a gentle yes from Renny.

  "Good luck." Emma paused to look into her daughter's amber eyes before she left, closing the door behind herself.

  "Have a seat." Renny said motioning towards the patterned sofa. She took a seat in a large, plush looking, chair and crossed her legs.

  Scarlett sighed heavily and flopped down on the seat, wrapping her arms around the green sweater, burying herself in the scent.

  They sat cross legged in the grass, feeling the warm spring breeze rush over them. Scarlett loved it in the wildlife park, it was so calm and peaceful. Luckily the rain hadn't been too bad the last few weeks of April and the ground wasn't soggy.

  "This is the only thing I like about Virginia." Levi pondered.

  "What about me?!" Scarlett asked, offended slightly.

  "Well that's debatable."

  She rolled her eyes and pushed him lightly.

  After an hour of staring at the clouds Scarlett asked abruptly, "what happens when you go to college?"

  Levi sighed, his thumb rubbing at he
r hand. "I'm not sure, I mean I would hope we can work it out."

  "You think?"

  "Well if you stay in Virginia, I'll be back on weekends." He told her knowing it was the truth.

  "Yes, but you know I want to travel a year before college with Annie."

  "I know Scar, but... listen when the time comes we'll figure it out, but for now let's just focus on the time we definitely have." He said kissing her lightly.

  "You always know how to change the subject." She whispered kissing him back.

  Soon they were making out and Scarlett figured she would stay in Virginia if it meant she got to keep Levi.

  "So? Do you?"

  "Do I what?" Scarlett was pulled from her thoughts and zoned in on Renny's face.

  "Do you think you can ever move on?"

  "What is this crap? Huh? Move on? From Levi? Just leave him in the dust, forget about him?" Scarlett laughed spitefully.

  "So, you think if you start going to school and hanging out with friend you're pushing Levi out of your head forever?" She asked jotting something down in the small notebook she held.

  "Yes!!! Wouldn't you?"

  She ignored the question and pushed forward. "But it's almost November, you haven't been to school or done the work in all together a month, don't you think he would want you to study?"

  "Screw this, you just wanna get inside my head and make me answer your little questions. Well guess what, Renny, I'm not going to sit here and listen to your crap! I'd be happier jumping off a building." She shouted and slammed the door, running down the hall and passed her mother.

  Renny sat their thinking, she had dealt with these sort of things before, but it was hard and she felt shaken. She would call the Jonas' and get Scarlett some medication and more appointments. She had to move on before it was impossible too.

 

  Chapter8

  Over the next few days Scarlett thought about what Renny had said, she wondered what else the woman had to say. Lately she had felt as if it was more of a burden to close herself off from the world and just be with Levi... someone who wasn't even alive anymore. Despite wanting to let go she hated thinking anything of the sort.

  She could hear the laughter; voices, from down the hall. Scarlett snuggled deeper under her blanket, staring at the dark wall, blinking heavily. She felt a sudden pang of sadness and loss, not for Levi, but herself.