Forever and Always

by Gretchen Guse

  She had Renny drop her off at the large brick building before work, she didn't have all her books, but at least she was there. She had to make a sharp left towards the back of the school to avoid contact with Jared, who was flirting with a girl... like nothing happened.

  "Whoa!"

  Scarlett jumped as she hit a body. "I-I'm sorry." She said looking up from under the hood of her gray sweater-shirt.

  "It's cool." The tall, blond boy, paused, looking her over. "Scarlett?"

  "Um, yeah?" She asked, although that he knew her name wasn't a surprise. She had become the crazy, depressed chick.

  "Um, Chase. Chase Bane." He said with a small smile.

  "Look, I dont' know you and too be honest I don't really care to get to know you." She replied harshly.

  "Okay, whatever, wasn't asking you to be friend."

  "Wait... then, what... how..." She stopped.

  He laughed softly. "We met once... about a month ago. Paul tutors me occasionally."

  "Paul tutors... seniors?" Scarlett asked surprise in her tone. Had she really been that oblivious.

  "Yes, sadly. He's the reason I'm going to graduate!" He smiled slightly. "He's a good kid."

  Scarlett nodded, that she knew. In the last few minutes she had began to regret being so depressed and cut-off. Then again, Levi had died.

  "Well anyway, sorry to bother you." He said, his green eyes smiled down at her.

  She nodded and turned around forgetting she was trying to avoid Jared.

  "Oh my god." She said quickly, seeing him coming straight for her. She leaped behind Chase, who had plastered an all too confused look on his face.

  "Um, are you okay?" He asked starting to turn around, but Scarlett hit him, making him turn forward.

  "Just start walking." She hissed.

  Chase followed her directions, and turned according to her all hurtful pinches.

  Once they had made it safely to the hallway first period had started and Chase turned around to look at her. "You made me late."

  "Then get going." She said leaning against a locker.

  "Are you coming?"

  "No... I can't." She said quietly looking down.

  "Oh... I thought you had started coming to school again." He said looking over at her intently.

  "I-I have, sorta, it's jus-"

  "You don't have to tell me." He cut her off. "You don't have to if you don't want too."

  "Thank God." She muttered.

  "Wanna, uh get out of here?" He asked.

  She looked up at him, her amber eyes scared and protected, her head telling her to go! Hell, she needed to do something... live on the edge.

  "Let's go, then." She said.

 

  Scarlett sat up in her bed, staring at the white wall. For a month she hadn't done anything and had become quite lonely. The pain weighed on top of her loss of Levi. She quietly got out of the bed and made her way down the hall to the bathroom. She was hit with the smell of bleach the minute she opened the door and sighed. Emma had been on a cleaning frenzy for two days and the house was rid of any germs; healthy or not.

  She opened the small cabinet above the toilet and grabbed the razor she had kept hidden for a while now. Carefully she sat down on the edge of the tub and rolled up the sleeve of her thin shirt. She pressed the razor into her wrist and stopped before she cut it across. She suddenly wondered why she was doing this, why she would make a scar; a wound.

  "It counts as living on the edge." She muttered and made the deep cut. Her wrist bled slightly, and the feeling made her queasy.

  She regretted it slightly. There were other ways to feel a sudden rush, to feel relief from the pain. It wasn't just the loss of Levi anymore... now it was the loss of her self.

  Her arms were wrapped around his waist and her eyes were closed as she felt the wind blow against her face. She felt everything wash away, no emotion or sadness. He had a motorcycle that made one of the best noises she had ever heard. Chase sped down the road, towards a small park that sat on the edge of their town.

  It only took a few minutes for him to skid to a stop. "You can open your eyes now."

  She did slowly and sighed. "That was amazing." Was all she said, getting off the bike.

  He just grinned and turned to look. They were on a cliff of sorts, which looked out on to the forest and mountains that were only found on this side of town. If you went the other way you would only hit highway.

  "I used to come up here almost everyday." Chase said, not looking her way. "My dad would get so pissed because I would usually miss first period. But when my mom died I just needed to be away from all the sympathy shit and the friends that I was letting go of."

  She moved next to him and stuffed her hands in her pocket. "I wish I would've known there was a better place then my bed." She said quietly. "A better thing then suicide."

  He nodded. "It helps to have the wind knock all your thoughts away, to stand on the very edge and feel like you could just die with a single step."

  She looked at him a moment. "Did you know... Levi?" His name caught in her throat.

  "No... I knew Grant." He said reffering to the boy that had shot Levi. The boy that would be in prison for a long time.

  "W-what?" She asked, caught off guard.

  "He's my brother."

  Scarlett's chin suddenly trembled, suddenly she wanted to push Chase off the cliff, like it was his fault. Finally she could get revenge. Yet somehow, she couldn't. And deep down she knew, if it was Grant she wouldn't be able too. She was never violent, never a killing sort of girl and although she couldn't grasp the thought of moving on she knew Levi, oh the all "Lets punch him in the face" Levi, would not want her to kill someone.

  She stepped closer to the edge. Drowning out whatever Chase was saying with Levi's voice. She pictured him in her head and she took the last step. She could just take one more step and end it all. One more step and be rid of her estranged family, the few friends who had recently abandoned her, the urge to kill someone. One step.

  Chapter13

  "Don't."

  Scarlett zoned back into the world, she was still staring down at the rocks that lay close to fifty feet below her.

  "Don't." Chase's voice was closer this time.

  "I'm not doing anything." She said turning her head and looking at him. Although she had known he was closer she hadn't realized how close he had gotten and jumped slightly. She felt her foot slip off the cliff and knew that she wouldn't try to stop herself from falling, but Chase had other plans! He grabbed her wrist and pulled her into him, wrapping his large hands around her small waist.

  "I said don't."

  "I didn't... you scared me!" She defended herself.

  "Excuusee mee." He said with a small chuckle. He pulled away from her, knowing she was alright now, and ran a hand through his shaggy blond hair.

  "I'm sorry about... Levi." He said abruptly.

  "It wasn't your fault." She said surprising herself by her calm tone.

  "It was my own blood."

  "You didn't kill him."

  "Everyone treats me like I did. My friends pretty much left me, my girlfriend dumped me, I have a scar because Jared hates my guts."

  "Wait, a scar?!" Scarlett asked alarmed.

  "Yeah." He said like it was nothing.

  "A-are you alright?" She couldn't believe how much she actually cared, about the brother of a murderer!

  He sighed and unzipped the leather jacket his was wearing. He tossed it aside to reveal well toned arms and a cookie monster graphic tee.

  "Cookie monster?" She said, laughing before she could stop herself.

  "Hey, don't dis the cookie." He said with a glare, although a grin was creeping on to his lips. He proceeded to take off his shirt now revealing as expected a body that only one who worked out everyday could achieve. He turned around and Scarlett gasped.

  "Oh my god." She muttered. It was more then just one scar, long and little scars ran the length of C
hase's tan back.

  "Dad was always a bit of a bastard." Chase just said like it was nothing. "Jared's in the one of my shoulder."

  She saw it, it looked like the newest and she touched it with her cold fingertips.

  "Your cold." He said turning his head back to look at her.

  "Excuusee mmee." She said imitating him. "This..." She trailed off.

  "Sucks?" He offered and grabbed his shirt, pulling it over his head. "Let's get back." He said getting on his bike.

  She just nodded and wrapped her arms around his waist. Somehow riding up here, standing and looking out and being with someone who had felt pain like her gave her a relief.

  "I so tagged you!!" Annie exclaimed to Henri.

  "No you didn't!"

  "Yes she did, dude." Jared stated simply.

  "So I WON, I WON, I-I-I-I WONN." She did a little dance, shaking her hips.

  "I likee it when you win." Levi said nodding his head in a perverted manner.

  "Shut up." Scarlett said with a laugh.

  "I like it when you win better, Scar." He said wriggling his eyebrows.

  "I bet you do." She laughed kissing him. Levi kissed her back, their lips moving together.

  "Get a room." Annie said with a disgusted look.

  "We might." Scarlett winked at her best friend.

  They were all playing a random game of tag in a clearing. The clearing landed in the middle of the wooded area. Scarlett liked to walk to the edge and look up to the tall mountain, the cliff that was almost fifty feet above them.

  "We should go up there." She said when they were all standing at the edge of the forest.

  "Yeah, uh, no." Henri shook his head. "People die!"

  "So, it's like a rush." Scarlett said with a smile.

  "Maybe another time, it's dangerous up there." Jared said and Levi nodded in agreement.

  "I heard that that loner kid... um... Grant Bane? Always goes up there." Annie said in disgust.

  "So does his brother, or so they say." Levi said. "That's reason number two not to go up there. The suicidal freaks love it up there."

  "Don't be mean." Scarlett said looking at him, but he was already laughing with Jared and Henri.

  She rolled her eyes and sighed. "Let's head back." Maybe it was only a place for freaks.

  Chapter14

  Scarlett stayed with Renny that night, not ready to go back home. She did however crawl out of bed... more like the black sofa and shower for school.

  "So you're going back?" Renny asked as she put in large silver hoops.

  "Yeah..." Was her reply.

  "Have your parents called?"

  "I dumped my phone at the bus stop." Scarlett said as she bit into a piece of buttered toast.

  "Oh..." Renny replied, her voice sounding concerned. She knew that Scarlett needed to contact her parents or else they would think the worst. She also knew if she called them Scarlett would resent her even more.

  "We need to get going." Scarlett interrupted her thoughts.

  Renny grabbed her large, canvas tote bag and led the way out of the apartment and to her almost brand new, light blue, prius.

  Scarlett and Levi sat on the old, dusty, couch waiting for her parents.

  "They are gonna say no." She said, convinced.

  "Just give it a chance!!" He exclaimed for the millionth time that day.

  "Levi, you know they don't like me leaving the state without them, muchless without them and with my boyfriend." She looked at him.

  He just laughed softly and kissed her lightly.

  "Maybe we should just stay here." She said kissing him back.

  "I could just kiss you all summer?" He asked with a sly grin and pulled her towards him.

  "I'm good with that." She said feeling his hand run up her shirt as the kisses intensified.

  "This will be good." Paul announced as he came in the front door.

  Scarlett and Levi immediatly pulled apart, his hand quickly coming out from under her shirt. Usually they weren't so... cliche? But sometimes they did get carried away. They dated five months before Scarlett let them go all the way, not his, but her first time.

  "Paul, hey." She said trying to be casual.

  "Hi." He said just as Chris and Emma walked in the door together looking at some sort of magazine.

  "Oh, hello Levi." Emma said with one of her warm smiles. "Are you staying for dinner?" She asked looking at the clock hanging by the stair way.

  "No, Mrs. J, we just need to talk to you about something." He replied politely.

  "Your not pregnant, are you??!" Chris' head jerked up from the magazine.

  "Ohmygod, dad, No!!" Scarlett shrieked.

  Paul held back a laugh as he watched the scene.

  "Actually, we were wondering if we could go to North Carolina for a week. My grandma lives up there and my mom wants me to visit her and I thought it would get Scarlett out of the house for a little while this summer."

  "Um..." Emma looked at Chris in question.

  "It's not like we're going to party... we're going to be with his grandma."

  "She lives by a small beach and it's beautiful there." Scarlett put in. "Pleeasee."

  "Okay." Chris answered with a shrug.

  "Really?" Scarlett asked in surprise.

  "Yep, your seventeen now, your no little kid." Emma said with a smile.

  "Thank 'you, thak you, thank you!" She said getting up and giving both of them a tight hug before kissing Levi quickly. "Love you." She whispered and hugged her parents again.

  Chase's motorcycle came to a skidding stop and Scarlett's hands came away from his waist as she hopped off the seat. She immediately ran to stand on the edge, wanting to feel that rush again. Sure enough, everything left her as she looked down, death right in front of her.

  Chase didn't bother her this time, he instead sat down on the brown grass and pulled out a homework folder. The wind was actually calm today, especially up high. Her auburn hair felt flat and she almost felt mad that no wind was tearing at her.

  An hour passed before Chase grabbed her arm lightly and pulled her back, bringing her back into the real world.

  "We need to get going." He said softly, knowing he didn't want to miss a whole day of school. He'd missed enough when Grant killed Levi, trying to avoid the glares and insults.

  "Oh." She replied and turned to face him.

  They got back on the bike and slowly went down the hill. Once they were on the road Chase sped up, taking the curves sharply.

  Once they got back to the school Scarlett left Chase and his bike immediately, hurrying off to her class. He watched her go with his dark hazel eyes and sighed, wondering if she would ever recover, ever move on the slightest bit.

  "What did you do?!" Chase had pulled Grant into a small maintenance closet as he had run down the hall.

  "I did what I had to do. He can be so arrogant sometimes... he flaunts everything around."

  "Who?"

  "Levi..."

  "Grant, what did you do?"

  Grant pushed the gun into Chase's hand, but Chase pulled away. He knew what it was, he could see it by the small light over head.

  "Don't... please tell me you didn't."

  Grant was only sixteen, Chase new for a fact his brother could and owuld be tried as an adult and he also knew Grant couldn't run fast enough. He heard the sirens from the closet.

  "I did. I had too." Grant shook a bit, but he didn't seem that sorry.

  Chase just shook his head, pushed past his brother into the hallway and started running. He ran to the gym and out the doors not caring if the fire alarm sounded. His little brother, had killed someone? It just wasn't possible.

  He kept running, he ran past the football field, through the forest that lay beyond and finally skidded to a stop by the river.

  "No..." He muttered sinking to his knees, his shoulders shaking with sadness. Grant was the only family he had left and now that was gone. He couldn't see himself forgiving
Grant much less himself.

 

  Chapter15

  Scarlett pulled her dark green knit sweater over her head as the wind picked up. The few leaves left on the trees where swaying and falling down to the sidewalk.

  She had finally worked up the courage to go back home after a few days of crashing at Renny's. She had offered to drive Scarlett, but Scarlett preferred to walk, it was only ten minutes from school. So after school she started walking towards the small house she had grown up in.

  As she walked she thought about the cliff... or clearing... that Chase and her had been going to for three days (since he had shown it to her). Scarlett was sure her parents had received a call from the school notifying them of her absence during the first hour or two of school. Not that it was a surprise. Levi died two months ago and Scarlett had missed almost a month of school.

  "You should come back to school." Annie was standing in the door way of Scarlett's dark room.

  "You come and go, come and go... your education will slip away." If Annie was trying to be comforting or motivating she was failing.

  Scarlett didn't even acknowledge her friend, she just kept typing away on her mother's laptop.

  "We're starting to work on the Christmas play, you would love it." Annie said with a smile. Annie's brown hair was showering over her delicate shoulders, and she pushed it back behind her.

  "I'm good." Scarlett said, not looking up.

  "You've already missed quite a bit, you could try." Annie wasn't really here of choice, Jared had practically forced her to come, he had hoped Scar would listen to her... it wasn't working.

  Annie and Scarlett hadn't spoke since the incident with Jared... being Scarlett's "bodyguard".

  Which was one of the reasons Scarlett was trying her best to ignore Annie.

  "Fine... just please come back." She was sincere this time.

  "I will, soon." Scarlett said glancing up, her amber eyes were sad and broken.

  "Okay, well I hope you do... you have a great family as support, you know that too." Annie said.

  "I know." Scarlett replied and she did, no matter what, they had her back even though she had hurt them so badly.

  "I'll see you soon."

  "Uh-huh." Scarlett said and her fingers started clicking on the keyboard again.

  "Hello?" Scarlett walked in to the familiar living room.

  "Scar?" Paul's voice sounded from down the hall.

  "Yeah." She said quietly. Paul's door flew open and he ran down the hall, running into her and squeezing her.

  She realized how tall he was, suddenly he was taller then her by a few inches, not that it was hard to do. Scarlett was the shortest in the family and had always been below everyone except her brother, who now was grown.