The Bathrobe Knight: Volume 2

by Charles Dean

  “No, sir, we’re only a tenth of the way into it at most.”

  “Excellent,” Alex said, turning away from Justin and back to the ledgers. “Excellent. Send them up here when they’re done. Also, is the new gear ready? Sal reported earlier that we should have five combat-ready versions within the first hour.”

  “I’ll check on that right away, General Alex,” Justin said, dismissing himself to take care of the work before Alex had time to say goodbye.

  As Alex stared at the ledger, he couldn’t help but glance over at the Captain’s quarters again. He had, on several occasions, believed the door to have moved on its own. It wouldn’t have surprised him one bit to learn that the Great Lord Darwin’s girl had gone in and out without anyone noticing. We are fortunate to have such a charismatic leader, Alex thought as he kept watching the door. He has wooed such a beautiful ice princess on the one hand and seduced a great battle queen into bed on the other. How in the world does he have the time to also manage a kingdom? It’s like he never sleeps.

  After a few moments, he noticed the White-Wings make their way onto the deck too. “Alex,” Valerie said, trying to get his attention without realizing that Alex had been aware of them since they first stepped foot onto the craft. He may be parading around as a General now, but he had still spent over a decade hunting and tracking as a scout. “Darwin told us to report in with you. Sorry about not being here sooner, but we ran into Justin in the market, and he said we needed to carry a few things. Daniel is dropping them off now.”

  Yeah, carry a few things in the same way bankers only lend out a few coins, Alex looked her body up and down skeptically. Where do they put it all? “Great, we really appreciate the help. You have saved us an immense amount of time and effort.”

  “Whatever we can do for the cause, don’t hesitate to ask.”

  “Well, there are a few things, but before I ask anything of you, I have to know: did the Great Lord Darwin leave me any orders?” Alex asked, curious as to what his glorious commander was up to.

  “Nothing in particular, sir. He just said to make sure the preparations were ready for the move as soon as possible, and then he went off to take care of a quest,” Valerie answered, standing straighter and more at attention than most of the new soldier recruits drawn from the old Valcrest population.

  “Do you know any details on the quest?”

  “Oh, yes! He gave us the route and whereabouts of his destination so we could find him easily. If you have a map, I can show you,” she said, eyeing the maps on the table.

  “Please do,” he gestured to one of the larger maps of the area he had been able to collect.

  “Well, from what I understand, he’s looking for a bandit population in these areas,” she said, thumbing a rough line from the city to a mountain clearing on the other side of the map. “It’s actually rather convenient since we’d have to pass through that region anyways to get to the dungeon you specified.”

  “Hmm, let’s get to the dungeon later. Do we have any intelligence on these bandits that he’s going to subdue?”

  “None, sir, but it’s Darwin, and he wasn’t alone,” Valerie said. “He was in a group of four, including Lady Kass. The two newcomers seemed pretty competent.”

  “Well, we’ll be able to catch up with them as soon as we have all the preparations ready.”

  Alex stared at the map, looking at the location where Darwin had gone. He wanted to go with him, be part of the adventure again. It had been a thrill when they had worked their way through the forests and across the hellish beach battle. Darwin had done the brunt of it alone or with only Kass, and now he had gone off with two new people and left him to pick up the slack. No, someone needs to defend the fort, he thought. There is no job more important to the cause and survival of our people than the one I am doing now, and there is none more fit to my charge.

  “You said there were some things we could do to help?” Valerie interrupted his thoughts.

  “Yes, there actually are, but Justin will have to show you to them,” he said.

  Justin, appearing as if summoned, showed up holding five prototypes of the new gear that had been specially designed for the Demons.

  “Speak of the Devil, and there you are,” Alex said to Justin, only realizing after he had said it that ‘speak of the Devil’ might be ironically appropriate when referring to Demons. “I need you to take Valerie and her group to the storage hold and have them load up the excess loot. See if they can’t sell it off at the market.”

  “General, if it’s not too much to ask,” Justin said as he looked at the five new items, “perhaps we could have them wait a minute. This will be the first time anyone tries these on. Don’t you think the new members should see it?”

  Alex looked at the new equipment with a big grin. “No, everyone who can should see this. Go gather up everyone who isn’t too busy working. Let’s show them what they have to look forward to.”

  Valerie looked at the gear with a lopsided frown. She muttered something under her breath, but Alex couldn’t make it out. Alex saw the look and immediately dismissed it. She just thinks that our craftsmen can’t make a version for her too. She shouldn’t worry so much. She’s one of us now.

  “Actually, sir, almost everyone is working hard right now. If we pause for this, it might set us back half an hour at the very least. I suggest we just test it out ourselves. Everyone will have the honor of using it anyway. They will be able to celebrate the craftsmen’s hard work then,” Justin advised.

  He’s right. If we get too caught up in every triumphant moment, the cause will be hurt. We can’t forget why we are doing what we are doing. “Very well. Justin, would you do the honors then and dawn the new uniform?”

  Justin’s face lit up excitedly. It wasn’t often that people made Justin Yoo smile, but now it was like he had been given the finest slice of rump roast with the tallest glass of mead. “Thank you, sir. It would be my pleasure,” he said, placing all but one of the uniforms down on the table before quickly leaving to find a room where he could change.

  “He’s . . . He’s really enthusiastic, isn’t he?” Valerie noted as the trail of dust left by Justin began to disappear and slowly fade.

  “He’ll be the first one to wear our colors. Why wouldn’t he be?” Alex looked at her curiously. She still doesn’t understand that we’ll be able to make her one too, does she?

  As Justin reemerged from his private quarters, sporting the glorious new apparel of the StormGuard Alliance, Alex felt his chest swell with pride. He had wanted to be the first one to try it on, but he knew that if the man in charge took that honor, it would hurt morale. ‘A superior should never eat before his subordinates’ was a lesson he had come to understand better as he worked under the Great Lord Darwin, who constantly spurned honors and was the first to accept burdens. He was the type of dedicated and hardworking leader Alex knew he needed to become.

  “Wow,” Valerie said as she looked at Justin. “That’s just . . . Yeah . . .”

  “Indeed,” Alex nodded. “It’s not the finest work of craftsmanship out there, but it’s definitely high quality and made from great materials. Justin, how does it feel?”

  “General Alex, it feels . . . It feels very freeing. It doesn’t restrict movement in the least. It’s like I’m wearing nothing at all, but I’m still very protected,” he listed off the benefits. “Also, how do I look?”

  “You look like the finest soldier in all the lands, Justin. It suits you perfectly,” Alex said, still nodding. “A fine soldier indeed.”

  “It’s a . . . It’s not armor, is it? It’s a bathrobe, right?” Valerie said. Alex noted that she was still clearly having trouble forming words because of how impressed she was.

  “A bathrobe? I don’t know what you’re talking about. This is armor modeled after the finest armor in the lands. It’s the armor of our Great Lord Darwin. Nothing less would satisfy him; and, as such, we should emulate him and be satisfied with nothing less either.”

>   “Nothing less would satisfy him?” Daniel asked as he returned to the deck from below. “You mean he tried on things before the bathrobe?”

  “Oh, yes. He tried on a myriad of different outfits when he first came to the humble town of Valcrest as a simple vagabond,” Alex began.

  “So, out of all the possible different types of armor available in an entire town, he went with a bathrobe?” Valerie’s confusion was hard for Alex to understand.

  “Of course. You can’t look at that and tell me it’s not the spitting image of glory,” Alex said, looking back at the gear. The bathrobe was solid black, not white, but in the same design as Darwin’s. On the back, however, there was a large red symbol: two crossed swords in front of a large spoon. There was debate on whether or not to include the piece of silverware, but no one could possibly think about their Great Lord Darwin without also remembering the spoon on his robe. That particular bit of cutlery was the symbol that he had worn for as long as anyone could remember.

  “I have to admit . . . it actually looks pretty cool,” Daniel said as he stared at the uniform. “You think they come with wing holes?”

  “What? You want to wear one too?” Valerie asked.

  Valerie, there will be enough for everyone. You don’t have to take them from your friends. You shouldn’t be so greedy, Alex thought, shaking his head. “We plan to have them prepared for you as well, but these were just trial runs, so they are the standard versions. Apologies.”

  “No need. That looks awesome. Can I get one too? Do we need to pay for them?” Mclean said this time, clasping Daniel’s shoulder. “Can you imagine how cool a group fight is going to be with us all wearing those?”

  “I know. I bet Darwin is going to laugh his head off when he sees these. It’ll make his day,” Daniel said, the two of them still looking at Justin as he slowly turned to make sure everyone could see the design perfectly.

  “Justin, do you want to keep that uniform?” Alex asked, walking up and patting him on the back.

  “Yes, sir,” he answered immediately.

  “Good,” Alex said, walking back to the table to get him the other four outfits. “Take these others, distribute them at random until everyone has a pair, and make sure they get three made with the proper wing modifications for the new members too.”

  “Oh, you’re going to make me one too?” Valerie asked, her face unclear to Alex.

  “Of course. Why wouldn’t we? You’re one of us now. We will never leave you out of anything,” Alex said, patting her on the back, a somewhat difficult task as he had to work around her wings to do it.

  “Umm, thank you, sir,” she said. “I guess we should get going then.”

  “So soon?” Alex looked at her. “I thought the three of you were going to help out around here before departing. Is the offer still good?”

  “Oh! Oh, yeah, what did you need?” Valerie said, her smile returning.

  She must not be used to being included in honors like this, Alex thought, happy he had made sure to let her know she wouldn’t be left out of getting a uniform. She must not be used to being part of a group. “Well, for starters, there is a matter of unloading all the spoils from the beach battle . . .” Alex began his laundry list of things that needed doing. He knew they were probably just as eager as he was to see the city in its fullest, so he made sure to give them tasks that would have them wandering around the town, things like finding merchants and the like. After seeing how Valerie had been so moved, how she had been left speechless, just from being truly recognized as one of the faction, he was sure that he’d be able to more heavily rely on them in the future. I will become a good leader just like the Great Lord Darwin, he thought, eagerly looking forward to his new uniform.

  Kass:

  Kass found herself doing everything in her power to look at Darwin’s face, but given that she had somehow managed to end up in the very back of their small group, and he was at the very front, it was starting to feel like an impossible task. Darwin had somehow already managed to cozy up to the NPCs that they were sent to kill and was walking side by side with the guard in the front, chatting about God only knows what. In fact, Darwin was talking to the very same guard that had locked his arrow on her in a tight hallway less than an hour ago.

  None of that mattered though. All that was important now was the fact that there wasn’t a single reflective surface in even one of these corridors that would let her see Darwin’s face again. She just couldn’t shake it. Horns. He has horns! she kept thinking. It doesn’t make any sense. Well, it makes sense given that he’s a Demon, but it doesn’t make sense given he didn’t have them before the gas. How is it that everyone else passes out, and Darwin grows horns? Kass thought, baffled by what was going on. Were the horns a reaction to some event in Tiqpa that I missed?

  No matter how much she tried to puzzle it out, she couldn’t find herself resting on any one idea or conclusion regarding Darwin’s transformation. All she knew was that she couldn’t take her eyes off the new additions to his head. They were so weird, yet so cool. Darwin may have been a Demon for as long as she had known him, but now he actually had the horns to go with it. Coupled with his red eyes and already large physique, he was shaping up to be a real devil.

  “Big sis, what happened with Darwin?” Minx asked, bumping into Kass again. It was like she had no sense of personal space when she walked. Kass was almost sure the reason Kitchens always rested his hand on her head when the two were walking was to establish where he was relative to her so that she wouldn’t run him off the road doing one of her impromptu impersonations.

  “I’m just as curious as you are. I have no idea why he grew horns,” Kass said, still trying her best to look for any reflection that would let her see him again.

  “Not his horns, him. Look at him. Earlier he was all--” She bit into fake cookies and then did a smiling head swing side to side, “but now he’s all--” she folded her arms over her chest, pursed her lips and wrinkled her brow.

  “Are you sure? He doesn’t look grumpy to me,” Kass thought, unsuccessfully trying to listen in on him now too.

  “That’s cause you’re too busy checking to see how horny he is,” Minx said, causing Kass to giggle a bit. It was wrong, but every time Minx talked about how horny Darwin was, she couldn’t help but snicker.

  “I’m still not convinced he’s grumpy. I mean, sure, we got poisoned, but everyone came out okay, right?” Kass asked, looking at Darwin’s bathrobe. Everyone came out okay . . . and your white bathrobe is soaked red. His bathrobe is . . . completely soaked in blood. Ugh, how did I not notice that sooner? Kass wanted to hit herself. In the game, holes or injuries to an armor almost always repaired themselves within seconds to minutes, mainly as a precaution put in to stop people from having inappropriate body parts flying around, but blood stains could take hours to fade. Sometimes a player could spend an entire day with blood stains on their outfit.

  It wasn’t just on his sleeves or splattered on him either. It was a deep soak, almost as if . . . As if it had come from his own injured body. It didn’t make sense to see it in huge blotches across his legs and abdomen without much spray elsewhere.

  “See, big sis! I know that face. You see what I’m talking about! Minx the Lynx is right again!” Minx said, smiling in a way that made it look like she was showing her teeth to the dentist, “But he’s scary again now.”

  “He’s scary again?” Kass asked, becoming confused even more.

  “Yeah, he was scary earlier . . . like he was going to eat me, and now he’s scary again,” Minx said. “He’s not going to eat me, is he?”

  “No matter how horny he gets,” Kass assured her.

  “Okay okay. If big sis says so,” Minx said, and then nuzzled into Kass as they were walking. “Comfy sis.”

  Darwin, what did you do to scare Minx to death earlier? What did you do while we were passed out, she thought, watching his back. Why does your back seem so much bigger than it used to?

  They came to a
dead stop when the archers and Darwin arrived at a giant pair of wooden doors at what felt like the end of a mile-long walk. “We’re here,” Louie said, opening one of the doors for Darwin.

  Kass wasn’t able to see exactly what was going on at first, still being a ways from the room, but what she did make out instantly was the leader. Everyone else was wearing some off-brown uniform like they were less archers and more rice farmers, whereas the man in the middle, sipping tea and talking to two other men, was wearing a full samurai outfit like he was straight out of a ronin movie. As soon as Darwin entered the room, he dropped his tea cup on the table next to him and stood up while pulling on his mask.

  “Who dares intrude on the gre--”

  “Weak,” Darwin said in one word, ignoring the man’s attempt at a boastful introduction.

  Kitchens looked at Darwin, just as surprised as Kass was. What are you doing, Darwin? Kass thought, watching Darwin push out his chest and walk arrogantly into the room.

  “What was that? How dare you t--”

  “I said, ‘Weak.’ As in you’re weak. As in you would be dead right now, scattered like bits of flesh across the ground, if not for my generosity,” Darwin said, walking closer to the little, would-be warlord.

  Minx tugged on Kass’s dress and whispered, “See, big sis. He’s scary again.”

  This is not Darwin. Darwin doesn’t talk like this. He gives rousing speeches. He inspires men. He leads men; he cares for men. This is not how Darwin talks, Kass thought as she watched the spectacle.

  The two men that the leader was talking to started to protest, started to say “wait” or “stop” or something, but as soon as they got up to reach for Darwin, he took his sword and slammed it into the ground. “Move again, and I will butcher everyone here,” he said, staring at the two.

  “Young man, what is the meaning of this?” the masked samurai shouted.

  “Darwin, honey draws more flies than vinegar,” Kitchens cautioned from the doorway.

  Everyone had crowded in at the door, but neither the four archers nor Darwin’s three companions had entered.