The Bathrobe Knight: Volume 2

by Charles Dean

  “Well, that’s perfect. If I’m not mistaken, right now his way of getting rid of your bandit problem is to condense them into a single trained, armored, unified army,” Eve matter-of-factly stated.

  “How did you come across this knowledge?”

  “Were you visited by a golden-haired woman, someone you thought you knew and trusted, who told you he could take care of the bandits who have been plaguing you?”

  “I was. She did.” The Panda King’s face crinkled up as his brow furrowed.

  “She likely told you that you would come across a great swordsman and that you needed to send him specifically to solve your bandit problems,” Eve pressed, the physical distance between her and the Panda closing as she drew closer to the heart of the matter.

  “She did . . .” He looked at the ground then back up at Eve. “What is your next guess concerning our encounter?” the panda queried.

  “My next guess is that she told you he was a threat, but you couldn’t kill him yourself.” Eve slowly moved around the stunned King until she was at his side. “I’m guessing she even had a suggestion on how to kill him: that you needed to use one of the people who just came off the boat, a mercenary in the land, so the trail wouldn’t come back to you. Then, when your first attempt failed, she told you to send him out again while she put something together for him?”

  “I’m afraid you have me at a disadvantage, young miss. I know nothing of you, and you know a great deal of me, don’t you?” The Panda King’s eyes narrowed as they focused intently on Eve.

  “Of you? Little. Of the woman, everything.” Eve grinned.

  “You said the news was dire. What threat has she manifested within my realm?” The Panda King’s voice had gone from an overly-friendly, gentle tone to one that stung sharply like thorns on the ears.

  “That man, the one you sent to handle the bandits, has united them by now. He is converting them to be the blood of his blood and gathering an army even as we speak. He will tirelessly work to recruit the beasts and villains of this land every minute of every hour of every day until he is stopped, and if he is not stopped in time, his men will march across this city and burn it and all its people.” Eve painted the picture of his marching and burning of the town with her hands as well as her words. “He. Will. End. Everyone.”

  “That’s preposterous. We could hold off every enemy from here to the ends of Tiqpa without them ever even breaking down our initial fortifications,” the Panda King scoffed.

  “You don’t understand. Once they join him, they will be stronger, faster, smarter and more organized than they ever were before. They will be slaves to his blood and blessed by his strength. Imagine the toughest beast in those wilds. He will capture it. Then another and then another. His numbers will double, triple and then quadruple, continuing to grow every day. Every day, the ones he takes will grow exponentially faster than you are prepared for. He’s already crushed an entire White-Wing army, and he was in his infancy, just beginning to understand his power.” She stepped back, regaining a normal distance from the King. “Do you really want to wait for his forces to grow even stronger?”

  “And why am I to believe you? Who is to say you aren’t playing a game with me like you claim that blonde woman did,” the Panda King scoffed. “He brought me a head, the head of the leader of the camp I sent him to clear. He didn’t convert them, he killed them. I have more reason to trust her than you.”

  “Just a head though, right? Only one? Send a scout. You have plenty to spare in times of peace. One shouldn’t be a strain. Send one scout, and have him explore and check the base of the men you sent him to kill. I guarantee you will only find one body, the body of their old leader,” Eve turned and confidently started walking down the stairs away from the palace. Qasin, still silently watching the exchange, still wishing it were one of violence and not words, turned and followed after her. “When your scouts report back, they will tell you that they found no bodies. That all the camps you thought he had cleared of the bandit infestation had not a single sign of death except that of their leaders. Then you will know what I said was true, and then you will come and find me. But since that won't be for a while, I'm going to get some lunch while I wait.”

  The befuddled panda stayed atop the stairs, watching as they left.

  “Are you certain this is the right course of action?” Qasin probed again. “He is your brother, after all. Are you sure you cannot reason with him?”

  “Qasin, you might not understand this, but when it comes to Stephanie, there is no other option. Whatever games you try to play with, she invented them. Whatever logic you try to twist, she wrote the book on how to twist it.” Eve’s confidence momentarily crumbled. Her lips quivered and her very eyes seemed to shudder. “If we don’t stop her here, all is lost.”

  Qasin, who clearly caught the expression, sighed. He had followed her all the way here to chase her brother, and yet every day it was more doom and gloom prophecies regarding this woman, Stephanie. The confident, strong, beautiful woman he had tailed across an ocean was now quivering in the capital where she meant to beg for an army. Was this help absolutely necessary? Was he useless to her? Was the situation really so desperate? The questions rattled through his mind as they stirred up a wave of heat and anger from his belly, a rage that made his hand want to move when it should stay still--a madness that fueled his blade’s thirst, and reminded him that no matter how pretty the thought of diplomacy might be, it was only a matter of time until he would need to fight again.

  Darwin:

  While Darwin, Kass, Kitchens and Minx were going through the boss loot and playing around with the new items they had found, the three White-Wings approached from the air above holding a piece of wood, the same piece that Minx had carved up earlier with directions to not kill any of the red-eyed Blue-Drakes.

  “The Fuzzy Wuzzy ultimate furball signpost worked! It work worked!” Minx bounced as she noticed them carrying her sign. “Wait wait, fuzzy Fuzzy WUZZY! Where did he go? Is he okay?”

  “He’s fine. He just turned around and left the cave when he saw the Blue-Drakes respawning. How did you manage to get some of those things to kill the others? I don’t blame the bear for leaving. It was creepy watching a drake kill six others while they respawned right when we came through the entrance,” Mclean answered, her face momentarily going from slightly scrunched up to normal before immediately turning back. “Wait, did you guys just kill the boss?”

  “Yeah, we did. It was awesome! He had giant feathers like a hummingbird and a tail that was all woosh swoosh and swoosh woosh,” Minx cheered.

  “It was a dragon?” Valerie’s face lit up. “Did it breath fire, or was it ice? Did it have any special abilities like making tornados or--” she managed to get out before she was cut off by Mclean, whose flat stoic visage made her mood impossible to read.

  “So you killed the dragon without us?” She stared at Darwin, who didn’t even get a chance to answer before Daniel joined in on the attack.

  “I see how it is. Didn’t want to wait for us at all?” Daniel complained. “We rushed back here with good news after doing a job well done, and you guys went ahead and cleared the boss without us?”

  “Hey, it was his idea,” Kass immediately shifted the blame to Darwin. “We just do whatever the boss tells us to do.”

  “So I’m the boss now,” Darwin chuckled. “Could have sworn you said you wouldn’t ever be calling me Lord Darwin, but now that it’s time to shift the blame, here I am, boss of bosses and one hundred percent responsible for all the wrongdoings.”

  “That is how it works, Boss,” Kitchens jumped up to throw Darwin under the boss-bus too. “You’re just going to have to deal with it.”

  “Yep yep! Darwin made us do it! He was all mean bossy facey, going, ‘Kill the boss with me or I’ll kill you! Rawr!’ Minx the Lynx was scared,” Minx said, making sure the blame was properly centered.

  “Ack, you two as well? Mutiny!” Darwin was now joined by the others in hi
s laugh. The three newly arrived members weren’t in the best of spirits, as their grumpy faces showed, but they still joined in with laughing at the leader turned scapegoat.

  “The loyalty runs thick in the StormGuard Alliance, I see,” Daniel mused.

  “Hey, I think it’s wise not to joke about that when Alex might be here any minute,” Mclean protested their joking, but wasn’t able to get her face to match her words. “If he heard a joke about the faction he might bring back capital punishment.”

  “Hmm. That is a good point. Throwing the fearless leader to the wolves may get us all killed by Alex,” Valerie nodded, her own suppressed laughter making her snort and then turn red when everyone looked at her.

  While the joke about Alex’s seriousness didn’t ring as true to Darwin, Kass and the two new members of the faction as it did for the three White-Wings, Darwin could still imagine from his limited interactions with Alex about how right Valerie was. He often speculated that the true power behind whatever leadership position there was in the StormGuard Alliance was mostly derived from Alex and his commitment, and he would easily kill anyone who stood in the way of the faction.

  “Anyways, I’d love to keep the banter going, but I really must get to sleep. I can’t pull the two-day gaming sessions I used to, being an old man and all.” Kitchens bowed his head a bit and then logged off.

  “Yeah, I have something work related soon. I need to get sleep for it. You said this was going to be our base in the future?” Kass asked as she looked around at the place. “Like with the silver ore mine?”

  “Yeah, once Alex finishes setting it up, it should feel nice and cozy like home,” Daniel intercepted Darwin’s question. “He’s been preparing to put it together for a while, and from what I can tell so far, it’s going to be pretty epic.”

  “Great, then I need to get going. See you all later!” Kass also disappeared into the real world.

  “I should sleep as well. Later gator!” Minx logged off next.

  “So, it’s just us four. What do you guys want to do?” Darwin said, looking at the trio of bird people.

  “Well, how long does it take for a boss to respawn?” Mclean looked over at the empty spot. “Can we kill it again?”

  “It depends how long you have to play. Are you going to be up really late?” Darwin asked, remembering how long it took him to get a second Burizza’s Blade.

  “I would if it respawned quickly. I do want to fight a giant dragon like that, but . . . Yeah, I need to get to bed too.” Mclean joined the magicians of the disappearing act and faded into thin air.

  “You two?” Darwin grasped at straws. He needed to level, and groups were the best for it, but at this rate there wouldn’t be a group left.

  “My mother wakes me up at the same time every morning. I need to go, or I’ll be miserable.” Valerie did a mini bow, and then, before signing off, she added one more statement: “Also, I know you’re not an NPC now!”

  “Well, that was odd,” Darwin looked at the empty spot where Valerie was. “I’m assuming there is a story behind that outburst?”

  “Yeah, but it’s kind of long, and I think since I’m the last one here, I kind of have to tell you something else first,” Daniel looked over at a camp of Blue-Drakes that was about to spawn. “How ‘bout I tell you over some good, old-fashioned spawn camping?”

  “Sounds fun, and I could use a few more ZombiDrakes,” Darwin eyed his future minions.

  “Yeah, about that, can I get one? I think a good old flying drake named Sparky would be nice,” Daniel said as he took to the skies.

  That’s right, his main attack is a dive, Darwin remembered as Daniel took off into the air, and I believe he said I would run faster with him. “Hey, wait, why do you need a Drake? Can’t you already fly?”

  “Sure, but I’m assuming most people who can walk still prefer a bike or a car,” Daniel called down from the sky. “By the way, like the new movement buff?”

  Darwin hadn’t noticed it at first, but as soon as Daniel mentioned it, he realized he actually was moving a lot faster. It wasn’t noticeable at first because he often matched his pace for his group, or, rather, Kass specifically. Her Speed stat was significantly lower than his, so he didn’t like to get too far ahead and made it a habit of going slowly for her sake; but, with Daniel’s buff, it seemed like he was almost gliding across the ground. “It’s really impressive. Will it stack with Kass’s Frost Step buff?”

  “It should. Generally, all buffs stack, even if they do so with diminishing returns. I know a lot of MMOs like to say that you can only get one buff of any given type or from a certain class, but this isn’t one of those MMOs. They don’t want to cut the legs off groups that show Job Class unity, so to speak.” Daniel dove into a spawning mob, almost killing it instantly, but the second Blue-Drake he attacked took a lot longer to kill even though it was still in the idle phase where it didn’t fight back.

  So it’s like a one-bullet gun, Darwin thought as he watched Daniel land a series of well placed dagger attacks into the drake. “By the way, you said you were going to tell me something, right? Is it related to the bandits I sent you to get?”

  “Ah, yeah, about that, they’re on their way with a few more camps too,” Daniel did a few fancy katas on another unmoving mob before just jumping into the sky again.

  You should have done that in the first place, Darwin snickered to himself. “How did you manage to talk so many into it that quickly?”

  “Well, the thing is, we didn’t actually talk them into it.” Daniel’s one shot, one kill dive ripped open another Drake, splitting the head in half. “You did.”

  “I did?” Darwin blinked. “That doesn’t make any sense. I don’t remember even meeting them, and . . .” Darwin looked at Daniel pulling up into the air again for another shotgun, “Actually, I have an idea.”

  “Yeah?” Daniel dove in for another kill.

  Darwin noticed that their sprint had been perfectly timed. The way Kitchens and Kass had originally pulled the mobs, the back ones respawned first except for the very first group, which had been cleared separately, and everything else would spawn after those in the order in which they were killed. That meant that Darwin and Daniel could essentially run the entire gauntlet of the area so long as they were fast, and, with his movement speed buff, they were fast.

  “Stay on the ground. I know you don’t do as much damage, but prep as many of the kills for me as you can. Get them to one health so I can finish them off,” Darwin said as he stabbed another cleanly in the middle of its forehead, converting it to one of his following.

  “Any particular reason?”

  “I have to get more rides for our StormGuard Alliance. Nothing says, ‘bad to the bone faction,’ like a bunch of bathrobe-wearing Demons riding into battle on their Blue-Drakes, don’t you think?” Darwin couldn’t help but picture the sight. I really hope they all have flap protection built into these new fancy robes. He grimaced at the image.

  “Yeah, it does sound like a good idea. Sure, I’ll help.” Daniel stopped his dive killing and started prepping enemies for Darwin. It wasn’t much, given how much more damage Darwin did over Daniel, but it did speed the process up.

  “So you were telling me about how I somehow managed to recruit a bunch of bandits without realizing?” Darwin asked as he continued to convert one Drake after another.

  “Yeah, I was kind of surprised about that too. Have you perchance met a golden-haired goddess anytime recently?”

  “Well, if you’re asking me about a beautiful blonde, there is Stephanie, but I’m not entirely sure she’s a goddess.” Darwin’s forehead wrinkled as he tried to imagine what in the world Daniel was actually asking. The two statements didn’t seem connected, but he wouldn’t have mentioned them back to back if they weren’t.

  “She’s blonde? Hmm, you think that’s a rare trait around here? A blonde girl?” Daniel thought aloud. “I mean, have you met a blonde among the NPCs in this region?”

  “No, I don’
t think I have. Every single Human NPC has been either brown or black haired. There hasn’t even been a redhead,” Darwin began to see where Daniel was going with his logic.

  “Well, that’s prolly cause they don’t have hair dyes yet,” Daniel laughed. “Once they figure that out, there will be a bunch of upholstery questions on every bachelor’s mind.”

  Darwin almost snorted as he laughed at the inappropriate joke. “Wait. Back to topic. I have only met one blonde the entire time I have been in Tiqpa. Are you hinting at what I think you are?”

  “I’m not hinting at anything. It’s spelled out pretty clearly,” Daniel said as he opened up another Drake for Darwin to finish off. “Unless Tiqpa has a religion that hasn’t been mentioned in any of the books before, I think I’d have a talk with your girlfriend.”

  “Hmmm, what did the people have to say, exactly?” Darwin probed further. “Was it just that the Golden Goddess had come and told them to join me?”

  “No, it was creepier than that. They were told that you were to be their savior. That they should rest all of their hopes and dreams on you.” Daniel frowned. “It made me wonder, was it easy to convert the citizens Valcrest into the StormGuard Alliance?”

  “It was. It was actually surprisingly easy. I got a title, and then, after everyone of importance died, I was made into the de-facto leader.”

  “But only the heavily-populated areas of town were burned, right?” Daniel drew a wince from Darwin as he forced the past events back into his mind.

  “No, you’re right. It was the market areas that were demolished.” Darwin cringed. He had done his best not to think about it, not to remember the dead people everywhere. Not to remember how the people, the first people who were ever actually kind to him, were laid out dead on the ground like bags of garbage scattered in a wind storm before he had ever gotten a chance to really know them. Just the recollection left him with a pained expression on his face.

  “So if only those were burned, how did the Mayor or Village Chief, both people who would be likely to live on a large estate away from other people, end up dead?” Daniel’s words made Darwin wince once more.