A Mouse in His Pocket

by Patricia Green

  He patted his thighs. "Come on."

  Slowly, she bent herself over his knees. The upper parts of his thighs tensed, but his legs held firm beneath her tummy. Jenny felt very vulnerable, and if he'd done anything more intimate than glide his hand over her behind, she'd have shot off his lap and run away, but he didn't.

  "I like you the way you are, little mouse." His hand came down on her butt and she yelped. "You are beautiful to me." Twice more his hand fell hard on her behind, moving from cheek to cheek and she gasped. It hurt!

  "I'm sorry!"

  "I care for more than your hair, Jenny. Be yourself," he warned her, spanking her several more times, building a fire on her backside. "Next time, I'll use my belt."

  Buck had never lied to her, and she had no reason to think his threat was a lie. Her rear was beginning to get fiery and she wriggled. His free hand pressed against the small of her back, and she felt the power of his strong arm. Tears formed in her eyes as he slapped her fanny in a long series of percussive smacks. Each one seemed worse than the one previous. She'd never been spanked before, and she vowed she'd never do anything to bring it on again. It felt like she'd sat on a hot stove or scalded herself in the shower. Every nerve ending in her rear and upper thighs was screaming. After a few minutes, she cried and pleaded with him to stop.

  "Please, Buck! I'm sorry. I won't do it again." She tried to put her hands over her rear, but he held her wrists at the small of her back. "I'll do anything. Please!"

  "Will you trust that I care for you, the real you? Not some bottle-dyed false-Jenny?"

  She nodded, gasping and sobbing.

  "Okay." He caressed her stinging, hot bottom for a minute, then helped her turn in his lap until she was seated in his arms. He kissed away the tears that streamed down her face, and pushed her wretched hair away. "Never think I don't care, little mouse."

  He did care; Jenny was sure. He wanted her to have confidence in herself. If he didn't care, he wouldn't try to correct her, he'd dump her. But he hadn't done that.

  Jenny was surprised. In many ways, the spanking made her feel better. She'd fix her hair as soon as she could, and that would be the end of the issue. He'd ended it with a punishment for misbehavior. Now they'd move on. The fact that they'd move on together made her heart lighter.

  She was in love with him, she realized with a start. Was he in love with her, too?

  Chapter Two

  It was four days before Christmas, and Buck sat in front of the store window staring at the sparkling display of gifts. He could change his mind in the four days upcoming, but that seemed awfully unlikely.

  Maybe Jenny wouldn't like it. He thought he knew her, but the fact was that they hadn't been together a long time. And, there was no getting around the little detail of his disability. Maybe she was humoring him until she got bored.

  No. That wouldn't be like Jenny, his little mouse.

  He took a deep breath and rolled into the store. When he was done there, he put the box in his pocket, picked up a newspaper and hoped for the best.

  Buck spent a couple of hours in the local coffee bar, reading the paper and trying not to dwell on his Christmas gift for Jenny. It wasn't easy, though, the front page was dominated by the recent disappearance of two female UNLV students. The women had disappeared three days prior from one of the parking structures, but details were murky. One car was missing, but the other one was still parked there, where they'd last been seen together. Foul play was suspected.

  He didn't like the fact that Jenny was on the nearly deserted campus, doing her end-of-semester clean-up in the studio, alone. Worried, he called her cell, but only got voicemail. He left a message asking her to call as soon as possible.

  Two more hours crawled by and he still hadn't heard from her. He was at home, by now, and even holiday music and the bright decorations around his house couldn't cheer him up. He drew the box out of his pocket and looked at it. Decided, he cursed and went for his coat. He was buttoning it up when his phone rang.

  "Hi, Buck!"

  "Jenny... I've been waiting to hear from you. Is everything okay?"

  "Yeah, fine. Why? What's wrong?"

  "Haven't you read the papers or watched the local news?"

  "Well, sure, I read the paper this morning before school. You sound upset."

  "I am upset. It's dangerous for you to be there by yourself right now."

  "It's okay, I won't be much longer."

  "Why didn't you return my phone call?"

  "Oh, my phone was out of charge. I forgot to plug it in." There was a pause. "I'm sorry, Buck."

  "You had me worried, little mouse. Girls have gone missing from the campus."

  "I didn't think."

  "Are you done at school?"

  "Yes."

  "Come over. We'll talk about it when you get here."

  * * *

  Buck's kisses always made her toes curl, and combined with satisfaction over getting her things wrapped up at school, and the lovely holiday cheer all over town, she was in a good mood when she got to his house.

  He was genial, but distracted. When she asked about it, he answered with a question.

  "I don't want you to feel like I'm making unreasonable demands on you, Jenny. Is that how you feel?"

  "No! Oh my goodness, no. I like that you care about me."

  "They why did you put yourself in danger, and, worse, let your phone go dead?"

  "I didn't think about it. I got so wrapped up in stuff in the studio that I didn't realize so much time had passed."

  "I don't want this to happen again."

  "I'll be better. I promise."

  He nodded, a determined flatness in his lips. "Yes, you will--another spanking should remind you."

  "Oh, no! Please, Buck. Buck-honey. Please let's not do that again."

  "Don't try to wiggle out of it, mouse. You deserve it and you know it."

  "Maybe." She thought about it. "Yeah, okay. I do deserve it. But can't I get a pass? Maybe as a Christmas present?"

  He frowned.

  "I guess not."

  "No." He made his way to his favorite chair and settled himself in it with as much care as he'd shown the last time. "Pull up the kitchen chair."

  She obeyed him, dragging the padded high-backed wooden chair over toward him.

  She'd never forget that first experience, and she dreaded the idea of doing it again. Her butt had been tender for a whole day after that spanking. It was the way of things, with Buck, though. He wanted her to think before doing. In many ways, she liked that he wasn't wishy-washy. She knew where she stood. Affection--maybe even love--was the guiding force behind his requirements. Guilt over worrying him ate at her, too. She wanted that gone.

  "Pants down?"

  He nodded and slipped his belt off while she watched, hoping against hope that it was something else, some comfort thing that made him remove it.

  "You're gonna use that?"

  He nodded again.

  "On me?"

  He quirked an eyebrow at her. "Mouse..."

  "Okay. Okay." Her sweat pants slid down her hips, but she paused and shot him a look before doing more.

  "Stalling will only get you extras, Jennifer."

  Sighing, she pulled her panties down, too, and looked between him and the chair.

  "Kneel on the chair with your fanny sticking out, hands on the back."

  She obeyed, and then glanced at him. He nodded, and swing his arm, the belt whistling through the air. Jenny gasped and flinched at the first stroke, the second, and the third.

  "You will be more careful in the future," he told her, swacking her several more times.

  Welts swelled on her flaming butt. "Yes, sir!" She was trying to be stoic but it wasn't working; all she could do was cringe and beg. "Please, no more!"

  "Yes, more. I won't tolerate you putting yourself in danger. I love you, Jenny, and this must never happen again."

  Her beleaguered mind tried to wrap itself around that thought, and tear
s came to her eyes. "Ow!" Even while her butt burned and smarted, her heart swelled with something sweet. "You love me?"

  "Yes, woman." He sounded genuinely puzzled when he paused. "You couldn't tell?"

  She'd suspected, but she had never given herself permission to believe it. "Oh my goodness, Buck. Oh, Buck!"

  He smacked her again with the belt. "Don't 'oh, Buck' me. I'm not forgetting your bad behavior that easily." The longest series yet rained down on her behind, but her joy at his admission outweighed the excruciating pain on her rear. Still, it hurt and her tears were heartfelt. She was disappointed in herself for her thoughtlessness, and knew she deserved every stroke of the belt.

  "I'm sorry!" She couldn't take anymore. Her butt was screaming with pain like she was screaming into her hands as they grasped the top of the chair, white-knuckled.

  "You understand what you did wrong?"

  "Yes!"

  "You won't do it again?"

  "No! Never! I promise!" The words were lost in her blubbering, but, thankfully, Buck didn't ask her to repeat them. Instead, he stopped spanking her and she heard him shift in his chair.

  "You were naughty, Jen. Better behavior from now on, okay?"

  She raised her head and nodded, whispering, "Yes, sir."

  "Come sit in my lap. I think some hugs are in order."

  Still sobbing and dripping tears, Jenny crawled into his lap and snuggled up against his broad chest. He was so big in comparison to her; she was enveloped and enfolded by his warmth. He never smothered her; there was always room to breathe, both physically against him, and emotionally. He loved her. He loved her! Even her sore butt couldn't tarnish that, not ever.

  * * *

  The Coopers invited Buck to have a holiday dinner with them on December 23. They celebrated their family Christmas on December 24, but Jenny didn't want him to feel like he didn't matter.

  The dinner had gone well, her family polite, and even her sister behaving, if not with charm, at least without venom. In fact, Mary smiled when Buck volunteered to help with the dishes after dinner. The pair started up a friendly conversation as they went into the kitchen, and all was well in Jenny's world.

  Until Mary came screaming out into the living room.

  "He's a pig! He groped me!"

  Jenny's parents rose from their chairs and so did Jenny, her hands going over her mouth.

  "What happened?" asked their father.

  "He grabbed my butt!"

  Her parents looked at each other, and Buck rolled into the room.

  "Keep him away from me!" Mary raced around, putting the sofa between them.

  Buck didn't say anything, his mouth a grim line.

  Mr. Cooper wasn't satisfied with his silence. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

  "Mary is lying. Nothing happened. We were doing the dishes and she suddenly ran out of the room. I don't know why." Buck's voice was careful, his jaw tight.

  "It's a lie. He's lying! He grabbed me!" Mary screeched.

  "Oh, Buck," Jenny breathed, feeling like her heart was crushed. How could he do this? Yes, Mary was the beauty of the family, but they had nothing in common. Maybe it was because Mary was easy. Men went for easy women, didn't they? And, Jenny...well, he hadn't asked her for sex at all. Sure he seemed interested--how could a man not react physically to a woman sitting in his lap? But, aside from kisses, that's all there had been. Maybe he couldn't stand it anymore. Jenny should have seen this coming and made herself more available to Buck. It was all her fault.

  He gave her a sharp look, the lines at the sides of his mouth deepening. "You don't believe this, do you, Jennifer?"

  "Oh, God!" Jenny couldn't stand it, tears forming in her eyes and beginning a trail down her cheeks. "Buck..."

  He nodded once and made for the door, grabbing his coat off the hall credenza as he passed. "There's nothing more to say."

  Jenny wanted to say something--anything--to make things right. She followed him out the door and down the make-shift ramp on the stairs. "Buck, I know you didn't mean it."

  He stopped and turned to look at her, his eyes glittering with anger. She'd never seen him angry like this. "You must really think I'm stupid, Jennifer. You must have no respect for me at all. Do you think I would make a pass at your sister, in your home, with your parents and you right there? Do I seem that stupid to you? I told you I love you, Jenny. I thought we had built respect and trust between us."

  "I...uh..." She trusted him. Or she did. Or she wanted to. "But why would Mary say that?"

  "I have no idea. She's got her own agenda. You'll have to ask her."

  "She's so much prettier and sexier than me," Jenny said with a feeling of defeat. "I don't blame you. It's my fault."

  He made a cutting gesture. "If that's what you think of me, we have nothing to say to each other."

  Jenny watched him roll away to his car and an icy hand closed over her insides, squeezing all the life out of her. She ran back into the house and straight to her room.

  The night was long and sleepless for her. Jenny cried for a long time and tried to think of all the angles for the situation. She had no reason to distrust Buck, but more than a few reasons to distrust her venal sister. Mary did have her own agenda, as Buck pointed out, but what was it? Could there be any truth to it?

  The next morning, exhausted and angry at the whole world, Jenny decided to get more of the story from Mary.

  "Mary..." she called, as she walked through the short hallway toward the younger woman's room. "I want to talk-"

  Mary's voice carried through the door. "So I ran out, screaming to my parents that he was trying to feel me up!" She laughed. "Yeah, I know. Imagine a gimp like that... Is that gross, or what? But they believed me. They're so stupid." Again Mary laughed, and the top of Jennifer's head should have blown off, she was so angry.

  The conversation wasn't over, though. "My fuckin' sister will never date that cripple again, I'm sure. What a loser."

  Jenny had heard enough. "Mary!"

  "Gotta go-"

  Barging into the room, Jenny grabbed the cellphone from Mary's hand and closed it. "I heard you, you bitch! I heard what you said. Why did you do it?"

  "I didn't do anything!"

  "Liar! You accused a wonderful man of something awful. I can't believe that you'd do something that cruel, that vicious!"

  "Miss Goody Two-shoes," Mary said with a sneer, rising off her bed, her hands balled into fists at her sides. "Always being the good girl. Always making the good grades. Creating the pretty clay crap. Well, I hate you! I hope you never find someone to love you!"

  Jenny's anger evaporated like so many droplets of water in a hot pan. Faced with her perfect sister's feelings of inadequacy, she had nothing to say. A woman who should have everything, but couldn't seem to appreciate the things she had was pitiful. "I feel sorry for you, Mary."

  "I don't need your pity, Jenny! I don't need anything from you!" She pointed toward the door. "Get out! Get out! Get out!"

  Nodding, Jenny walked away, closing the door softly as she left. She could hear Mary weeping as she hurried down the hall. The young woman's own self-hatred would be the worst punishment of all.

  Jenny had to get to Buck. She had to apologize and try to make things right. He might never want to see her again, and she wouldn't blame him for that. Of course he wouldn't be so stupid as to make a pass at her sister! He'd never do that to Jenny. Never. She'd been a fool to think so for even one moment. He would probably never forgive her, but he deserved her apology.

  * * *

  Buck had sat up all night, dressed his same clothes, drinking coffee and thinking. He'd taken the box out of its safe place and stared at it for hours. It had been too much to hope for. Jenny didn't respect him. And without respect, how could she ever love him? He was angry, disappointed, and yet accepted the truth of his situation as well. Jenny thought that because he hadn't insisted on sleeping with her, he wanted sex and didn't care where he found it.

  Sex had neve
r been the issue for him. He'd been intimate with women over the years, and it was important, of course, but it wasn't what he was about. He respected Jenny. He wanted her to be comfortable, secure, in love with him before they made that transition in their relationship. She was not a casual lover.

  And now she was no kind of lover at all.

  When the doorbell rang, he put the box away and ran a hand over his darkly-stubbled face. Whoever it was, was going to have to look at him unkempt. Life's a bitch.

  The bell was followed by an insistent knock. "Buck! Buck, please let me in."

  He stopped in the little foyer, staring at the door. Jenny. Should he open it? Could they have words together? Had she come to return some borrowed item or to bring back the temporary ramp they'd put on her parents front steps?

  The ramp was likely. He needed it. Sort of.

  She was standing there, her brows furrowed with worry when he opened the door. He did not invite her in; he didn't think he could bear seeing her in his home again. Not that he couldn't move on, but because he was hurting inside. The hurt was a heavy rock in his belly.

  "Jenny. What do you want?" His voice sounded tired, and he cleared his throat.

  "I'm sorry. I wanted to apologize. I want to try to make things right." She looked at him, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears. "I know you can't forgive me...but let me say I'm sorry. Please."

  "Okay. You're sorry. I'm sorry, too. I thought we had a future together. Something to look forward to. I was wrong." He moved to close the door. Everything that needed to be said had been said.

  She put her hand on the screen, unable to get to the door. "Please. Don't close the door. Please let me come in. There's more I want to say."

  Jenny met his eyes. But she'd said her apologies already. Still, he didn't want her attracting curious neighbors. They'd seen her come and go already. They'd wonder. "Yeah. Okay."

  "Thank you," she said, coming inside and closing the door behind her.

  He sat quietly, giving her a chance to say her piece and kicking himself for loving her despite everything. He guessed it took those strong emotions a while to die down.