'She's also your boyfriend's sister' was always the rebuttal. Yet, in the end, we won because I think her parents would do anything to help Sid get out of the I'm-the-only-one-not-going-to-prom funk.
So here I am, in Sid's room, trying hard to not think about Todd who is just on the other side of the wall. Tonight is about Sid. Only Sid.
Who am I kidding? No matter how many times I tell myself that, hearing him on the other side of the wall is torture. I can't help wanting to go next door to listen to Todd's beautiful voice as he practices songs for prom or watch as his masculine fingers gracefully strum the strings of his guitar or have my lips feel just how soft his are. I just want to be next to him, and he's so close yet so far.
"Right, Ash?" The way Sid is looking at me, I know she can tell I haven't been listening.
"Right." I hope I'm not agreeing to something crazy.
"I knew it. I knew you weren't listening. You just said 'right' to you and Todd should break up."
"Sorry, Sid." I know there is no use arguing. She's right; I wasn't listening.
"Why don't you just go over there?"
"No way. Tonight is about you, and he's busy. We need to paint our nails and do our hair. It's girls only."
Sid shakes her head. "Whatever. We can still do all that stuff."
"Besides, our parents will never let us have another sleepover. You know how hard it was to convince them."
"I'll go with you. I mean, we're just visiting my brother." She shrugs while I can't help brightening at the new possibility. He sounds so great through the wall that I can't wait to hear him up close and in person. On second thought, I feel bad.
"No, let's not. This is our night."
"Get up," Sid says as she pulls me off her bed.
The smile on Todd's face when he sees us in the doorway makes my heart start to pound harder.
"How's the slumber party?" He's exactly like I've pictured him: leaning against his headboard, strumming his old acoustic Gibson.
"Better now," I say, returning his smile. Sid just shakes her head and laughs as she pushes me toward his bed.
As promised, Sid stays. She's like our free-pass tonight.
"Sid, I know you're bummed about prom, so why don't you just come. You could be the Sour Lollipops roadie and help us with equipment," Todd says, reading his sister's slumped body language perfectly.
"No way. When I do go to prom, I'm going to be wearing a dress, not jeans and a t-shirt." She gives Todd a smile. "But thanks for trying."
We stay and talk for a while, and I love Sid for doing this for me. She really is an amazing friend. I also love being in Todd's room, seeing everything he loves in one place. These walls define him: music posters, sports trophies, old pictures of him as a kid with Ryan and Brian. I fall more in love with him with everything I take in.
"Okay, we have a lot to do," Sid finally proclaims. "And it sounds like you better keep practicing. I mean, prom is tomorrow. Yikes," she says with a smile.
When she turns to leave, I look back for one more glance at Todd and he mouths, 'Check your phone.'
I give it a few minutes once we get back into Sid's room then pull my phone out to check it as smoothly as possible. I'm trying to act like this is a normal, everyday occurrence, which it is, but when you try to act like it is, it's really hard and super obvious.
There is a text from Todd.
My room 12:30?
My heart starts to pound while my cheeks flush just at the thought.
Of course Sid notices. "Who's the text from?" She half smiles.
"Um, Shane."
"Oh, yeah? Shane?" She just smiles and shakes her head. She knows it's not really from Shane, but she's a good enough friend to pretend like she buys it. Plus, as cool as she is with Todd and I being together, he is still her brother, and I think she'd rather not really know.
***
Twelve-thirty couldn't get here fast enough. Sid actually fell asleep fifteen minutes ago. It was close, though. I thought for sure she was never going down, but I think the I'm-the-only-person-not-going-to-prom emotional strain she's putting on herself really wore her out. I do feel bad for her, yet it worked out perfectly for me.
As I slowly start to creep out of her bed, she instantly rolls over, sensing my movement. Every atom in my body is telling me to stay in Sid's bed. I know, if we get caught, this will be the last slumber party I ever have at Sid's. Ever. However, when I close my eyes, all I can see is Todd's face, his crooked smile, his breathtaking eyes, and I can't stand that he's right there in the next room waiting for me.
I try to tiptoe out of her room in slow motion, and with every step, I look over in panic, but she is still sound asleep. Her heavy, deep-sleep breathing is music to my ears.
Once I'm at the door, I glance down the hall in both directions to see it's dark and lifeless, perfect. The wood creaks with each step I take, and I feel my stomach lurch. I'm just going to the bathroom, I keep repeating to myself. It's no big deal. I mean, it's perfectly normal for a girl to have to pee in the middle of the night.
I'm fine, that is, until I get to Todd's door. What do I do? Do I knock? What is the protocol for sneaking into your best friend's brother's room in the middle of the night? I certainly don't want to wake up his parents. What if they are really light sleepers? There goes my bathroom excuse if they catch me knocking on Todd's door. I guess I could say I got confused or I was sleep walking.
I take a deep breath and knock lightly, very lightly, so lightly there is no answer.
Maybe he fell asleep? I'm not about to knock any louder, though; his parents are two doors down.
Screw it. I carefully turn the knob and slowly open the door. There he is, awake and gorgeous, leaning against his headboard without a care in the world and without a shirt. As soon as he sees me in his doorway, his lips turn up into a mischievous smile that literally stops my heart.
"Get over here, Ash," he says low, being cautious, too.
I quietly close the door, still feeling like I need to tiptoe. My heart is pounding like a drum, even though I'm in the safety of Todd's room. I hope Sid doesn't wake up, but oh well; she would cover for me. Plus, who cares? I'm here with Todd.
He opens his arms and I cuddle into him, against his bare chest. Yes, bare chest. He's only wearing boxers and every perfect detail of his tone abs are defined and magnified by this incredible, uninterrupted-by-clothes view. Clothes are so overrated. I've never actually laid on his sheets before—the comforter has always been a safety barrier—never mind lying here with him just in boxers! Feeling his warm skin against mine sends chills all over my body.
"Twelve thirty couldn't get here fast enough," he whispers as he kisses my forehead. "Is Sid asleep? Does she know?"
"Yes, finally, and I think so." We both laugh. The danger of getting caught is making my heart race, or maybe it has something to do with lying on Todd's bare chest. Wisps of his warm breath float across my forehead with each breath he takes.
"I can't wait for tomorrow." He strokes my hair. I love when he twirls it around his fingers, just as I love that it's second nature to him to do it.
"Me, too." I look up into his crystal clear blue eyes. Even in the darkness of his room, I can see myself in them.
He interlocks his fingers with mine. "Nice nails," he comments, noticing my deep blue color.
"Thanks, it's Sid's work. They match my dress." I smile up at him.
"I can't wait to see you in it tomorrow." He squeezes my hand a little tighter, his warm breath sending shivers of excitement down my spine.
"I'm ready," I whisper.
"You want to go back already?" he asks, trying to hide his disappointment. "Are you worried?" He strokes my cheek. "Because you shouldn't be. My parents are very deep sleepers."
"No, Todd… I'm ready." As he pulls back a little, I can see him trying to figure it out. "You told me to tell you when I'm ready, and I'm ready. Tomorrow is prom. It will be perfect."
A huge smile spreads across his
face once he realizes just what I mean. "Are you sure?"
I bite my lower lip and nod my head yes. "Positive."
"I don't know, Ash." I can see him calculating it. Ryan will be there. It's not like we'll have our own room since we're all sharing, and I have a curfew, of course. Ryan gets to spend the night at the hotel, but I need to be home by one o'clock, which is huge for me because it is by far the latest curfew I've ever had. Still, compared to everyone else who is actually spending the night at the hotel, I, once again, fit the lame freshman bill. Thanks, Mom and Dad! My dad actually offered to pick me up at the hotel—how humiliating. Thankfully, Todd is leaving his car there before the dance, so he's going to drive me home.
I know he's deep in thought, and I want to wipe the concern off his face. "Don't worry. I've been on the pill for a while, so we're good there."
He gives me a sarcastic smirk. "I see you've thought of everything."
"Well, not everything, but I know I love you. I love being with you, and I want to be with you."
"I love you, too, Ash, and I want to be with you more than anything. But I want it to be just as special as you, and being in a big hotel room with lots of people, including your brother, isn't going to be special. It should just be you and me. Alone."
My heart sinks a little. I know he's right, and I know I haven't really thought this through, but I also know that I love him, really love him. I want him to be my first. I can't imagine it being anyone else.
He gives me a bright smile as his fingers dance over my hair. "It will happen, but we don't need to rush it. I'm just happy you want to be with me as much as I want to be with you." He leans down and gives me a sweet, gentle kiss; one that sums up all of the love I feel for him in this moment.
Chapter 11: Prom
We are all meeting at Brian's house for pre-prom pictures. Since the boys left their cars at the hotel, our parents are driving us to Brian's in order to take pictures before we get into the limo.
Brian's house is basically a mini-mansion. Our town has a few lakes, and his backyard is made up of one of them. It makes for the perfect prom picture backdrop.
As usual, the talk of school has been who Brian is going to ask to prom, since he's the only one of the Three Musketeer Boys who is single. Plus, the baseball team is having an incredible season and girls can't seem to resist athletes—I know I can't. I have a newfound love for going to games and seeing Todd pitch, although I still might like the tight football pants better—it's a tough call.
In the end, Brian asked Blythe. They're both pretty adamant that it's just as friends, but I think he sees her as more than a friend. Although, he'll never admit it. Selfishly, I'm glad she's going to be here because, unfortunately, so is RTS. I really wish Gretchen would find a new best friend.
As soon as we walk into Brian's foyer, Todd is standing there in his tux and bow tie. He always looks incredible, but tonight, in his formal black tux, he looks out of this world. He's six-foot-two-inches of pure perfection. The only thing that is better is the smile he gives me as soon as he sees me in my midnight blue dress which falls just above my ankles. I practically worship the way it hugs my body, accentuating the few curves I have perfectly. I know I look good. I got my hair done by Mom's hairdresser, who's been cutting my hair since I was five. She blew it out then gave me soft, wavy curls. I can't stop touching it; I love the way it feels.
Posing for pictures at homecoming was humiliating, but tonight, it's exhilarating. Having an excuse for Todd's arms to be wrapped around me is the best part, so far. My parents haven't even made Ryan and I pose together once. Well, they did at home, but thankfully, they are so distracted by all the couple pictures I think brother-sister pictures haven't crossed their minds. Thank God!
Ryan and Gretch look perfect, of course. They seriously look like a prom catalog. Gretchen's dress is a canary yellow and perfectly accentuates her golden hair.
Blythe, however, is in the coolest dress I've ever seen. It rivals her homecoming dress, but there are no safety pins. It's black lace, and at first glance, it looks like she has nothing underneath it, but there is a nude material that lines her body flawlessly. I see all of the boys checking out the slit that goes up to her thigh, even Todd, but who wouldn't notice that? Heck, I can't stop looking, either. The dress is trimmed in black leather and she paired it with the coolest pair of worn in black leather cowboy boots. That's why I love her, only she can get away with cowboy boots at a formal.
RTS looks fine, I guess. She is all over Johnny, which makes me smile. He keeps giving me glances since I'm the only one here who knows the truth. It's hard not to laugh, although I do feel bad for him.
My heart is pounding as we get into the limo, partly because I've never been in a limo before and I can't wait, and partly because I still don't feel like I really belong with Ryan and his friends. It's nothing they did—well, other than RTS, who constantly reminds me I'm not good enough for any of them—it's just years of growing up as the younger sister. I'm not sure I'll ever get over it. Who cares; I'm riding in a limo!
"What happens at prom, stays at prom people," Ryan shouts down the limo to all of us as we pull away from Brian's house, leaving our parents waving at the curb.
"Amen," Brian shouts in agreement as he casually drapes his arm around Blythe.
Ryan, Brian, and Todd are really funny when they get together. It could be because they've truly grown up together and are more like brothers than friends. They play off of each other so perfectly I can't stop laughing. I feel like I'm going to pee myself. Now that would be über humiliating.
Sid: How was prom?
Me: Great until I peed myself in the limo.
Todd's fingers have been intertwined with mine for the entire ride. I love studying his long, lean fingers and how small his hand makes mine feel.
"You look beautiful, Ash," he whispers to me as his thumb rubs mine. "And I love that you're wearing this." His fingers slide across the bracelet he gave me for my birthday. I'm not sure why he's surprised; I haven't taken it off since he gave it to me.
I smile up at him and whisper back, "I love what it stands for."
"Hey, no secrets down there," Brian shouts to us from the other side of the limo.
"Shut up, Bri. Don't be jealous just because Blythe isn't whispering in your ear," Todd playfully shouts back, making everyone laugh.
When we walk through the doors of prom, it's incredible. There are twinkle lights everywhere. The theme is Diamonds and Pearls, and it looks like the room is covered in them.
As soon as we drop our stuff off at the table, a slow song starts. Todd turns around and gives me his crooked smile. "May I have this dance?" My heart starts to pound as his fingers slide across mine while he pulls me toward the dance floor.
Todd is at least a foot taller than me, but with heels, I'm tall enough to wrap my arms around his neck and rest my head on his warm, firm chest. This must be heaven. Feeling his arms wrapped around me, his heart beating as fast as mine, his warm breath tickling my ear as he whispers to me—it's beyond magical. It's better than I've ever imagined. I am in love with prom. I am in love with this boy. I am in love with love.
Prom is flying by in a whirlwind of twinkle lights and soft kisses, to which Ryan constantly has a look or comment, though I know he's mostly kidding. Thankfully, he is usually preoccupied with Gretchen.
Before I know it, Todd has to go to the backstage area to meet up with the rest of the band. At first, I was upset that performing would take time away from us at prom, but now, I can't wait to see him sing in his tux.
This last week of Sour Lollipops rehearsals has really paid off because they sound amazing. They're performing a lot of my favorite songs from different pep rallies, and the crowd is going insane. Then I hear Todd's solo guitar break through the cheers and it quickly silences everyone. I recognize the song immediately; it's an acoustic version of Avicii's "Wake Me Up." Then I hear his gorgeous voice.
Feeling my way through the darkness,
<
br /> Guided by a beating heart.
I can't tell where the journey will end,
But I know where to start.
Our eyes connect, and even though practically the entire school is here, I feel like we are the only two people in the room. It feels like we are alone in his bedroom, and he is singing just to me except we are surrounded by twinkle lights, and I'm wearing a formal dress.
After the last song, Johnny and I run backstage to see Todd and Shane, although Johnny's pretending he's going to see RTS.
"You guys sounded incredible," I say, beaming as Todd wraps his arms around me. I love feeling his sweaty skin against mine.
“I’m glad you liked it. I picked all of your favorite songs.” He whispers in my ear.
"Thanks, Ash." Shane throws his arms around me with a smile—he might be even sweatier than Todd—but I know the person he really wants to hug is standing right behind me.
Johnny is playing the part of a good date and congratulating RTS, but he finally finds a way to break away from her to talk to Shane. In all the excitement backstage, he wraps his arms around Shane and lifts him up off the ground in a bear hug. At first, Shane wraps his arms around Johnny, and I love the smile that is on his face, but then I see him stiffen when he remembers where we are and who we're surrounded by. Luckily, everyone is so caught up in the excitement of the performance they are hugging, so nothing seems out of the ordinary to anyone else, but both Johnny and I can sense Shane's tension.
"Relax." Johnny rubs his arm. "You were great out there."
"Thanks, J," Shane says, looking down at the floor. Oh, how I wish he would just grab his hand, or better yet, reach over and kiss him, but I know Shane and it will never happen.
As if there isn't enough tension already, I look over and see Beth heading this way. Beth was Shane's brother Roger's girlfriend. They were still dating when he was killed last year. She was a senior when it happened, and she didn't come back to school for a full month.
Accidental Love (Accidental Crush #2) Page 9