"I know," I whisper back with a smile.
Chapter 22: Last Day
ASHLEY
It's our last day at the pool before it closes for the fall, and I hate that this is how it's all going to end. Me and Todd not talking, Todd and Casey barely able to pass one another without fighting. So far, Ryan is doing a really good job of keeping Todd distracted; however, Todd is no longer trying to hide the fact that he wants to kill Casey. This is going to be a fun day.
I've been up in my chair for ten minutes, counting down how many hours are left of this summer. As much as I hated being at the pool a few days ago, I'm starting to get nostalgic about it now that it's coming to an end. In just seven hours, the summer will officially be over. I think back to my first day, sitting up in my very own lifeguard chair and how excited I was, how fun it was to see Todd from across the pool, to look forward to our lunch breaks and rides home. And now he won't even look in my direction. How quickly things change.
Suddenly, my thoughts are interrupted by a kid bobbing up and down in the middle of the pool, flailing his arms. I can instantly tell he's in trouble. As instinct takes over, I jump in. I know he's scared. He's got to be eight, but he's big—almost my size. He's thrashing around and taking in a lot of water.
"Calm down; I've got you," I say in the calmest tone I have. It's incredible how it all comes back to you, all of the training. It's like it takes over, and you know exactly what to do. I try to wrap my arms under his and guide him to safety, but he's moving around so much it's making it difficult.
"Calm down!" I scream louder, and then I see his giant head come crashing toward mine with his full force.
Everything goes black for a second. I know I need to hold on to him, keep him above water. I feel wetness trickle down my face and have a feeling it's not water. It feels thicker. Keep your eyes open. Keep it together. But I feel myself drifting. Hold him up.
I'm pretty sure we make it the edge. I see him grab on to the side of the pool, and I think Casey is there to grab him, but everything is fuzzy. I hear the water rushing in my ears, and I look up to see the water wash over my eyes. Everything is moving in wave-like motions as the water ripples above me.
Kick your legs, move your arms, I keep telling myself, but I can't. Everything is getting fuzzier while my legs and arms feel so heavy. I can't move them, no matter how hard I try. I just need to close my eyes, fall into the water and let it envelope me. That's what I need to do.
I try to reach up, but more water separates me from the edge of the pool. I can see images standing above the water, and it sounds like they're shouting. It sounds like Todd's voice, but it's muffled through the water. I see him push Casey, and it looks like they are fighting. I can't tell, though; it's all so far away.
And then there is nothing. Just blackness. Silence.
TODD
I hear the whistle code that signals there is a problem at one of the pools, and my eyes instantly shift to Ashley's pool. There is a lot of commotion in the middle of it, and Casey is standing at the edge, so I know Ash is in the water.
I hear Casey shout "Clear the pool!"
I glance over at Ryan. I'm not supposed to leave my post, but I need to be there. I feel it in my bones that Ashley's in trouble, and I hate that Casey is there to help her.
"Go," Ryan shouts to me from across the pool. "I've got this." He gestures to our pool. For a split second, I hesitate because he is her brother, and I'm sure he wants to help. Besides, at this point, I have no true ties to her, but I can't not go, and I know he knows it.
I'm at the edge of her pool within seconds, and it's much worse than I thought. Casey is trying to pull out this huge kid, and the blue water is streaked with red blood. At first, I think it's the kid who's bleeding, but as my eyes quickly scan him, I can see that he's fine—shaken up but fine.
I glance back to Ash. I know she can hold her own in the water and so does Casey, so he's tending to the kid. I think we both realize at the same time Ash isn't coming back up. The blood must be hers. The red is spreading through the water.
I see Casey ready to jump in, and something takes over me. Maybe it's ego, maybe its hatred, but I can't let him go in there. I know each second is precious and I need to get to her now.
"Get out of the way, Casey. I'm getting her." He doesn't seem to get it the first time. This is the girl I love, and she needs me. I place myself between him and the edge of the pool. "No way, Casey, back the fuck up." I know there are kids around and I shouldn't curse, but I can't help it. All of the anger I've felt for him for the last year erupts. I shove him back as hard as I can, and he stumbles on the wet pavement.
"Go get, Ryan," I shout to George, who's come over to assess the situation. Casey looks like he wants to kill me, but he stays back. I know this is all happening in a split second, but it feels like it's taking me hours to get to her.
When I see she's not moving at the bottom of the pool, my heart sinks. Something is wrong, something is very wrong. I slice through the water to get to her.
My heart is pounding in my chest as our heads break the surface of the water. Casey is there with a backboard to help pull her out, and for once in my life, I'm glad to see him.
Her body is limp, lifeless, and it scares the shit out of me. As soon as we get her out of the water, I give Casey a look he reads right away, and he backs up a little.
I check to make sure she is breathing, and my heart soars when I feel wisps of her soft breath on my cheek. It's light, but it's there. As I check for a pulse, I can see the blood trickling down the side of her face. Feeling the thump of her heart might be the best thing I've ever felt, but the kid got her pretty good. There's a big gash on her forehead, and it's pouring out blood.
I lock eyes with Casey, how much he cares about her written all over his face. "Get towels," I shout to him.
He runs off and is back within seconds. He starts to apply pressure in an attempt to stop the bleeding.
"How bad?" Ryan says as he runs over to join us, and then he takes one look at his sister and answers his own question.
"Call 911!" I shout back to him.
"George already did. They're on their way," Ryan answers, and I feel relief wash over me. Help is coming.
I glance over at Casey. If there is one thing he is, it's a good lifeguard. He's got towels pressed firmly on Ash's head, and he's already covered her with the other towels. I'm actually glad he's here to help, only for Ash's sake.
I wrap my fingers around her lifeless hand and lean down to get close to her ear. "Come on, Ashley," I plead with her. I glance over at Ryan. "Where the hell is the ambulance?"
He doesn't respond; he's busy trying to push the people who have gathered around back to give us some room and Ash some privacy. I know he doesn't know what to do, none of us do. The only joy I have in this moment is knowing she is breathing. Seeing her chest rise and fall is all I have to hold on to right now, so I do.
When Ryan finally comes over, he leans down next to her, and now me, Casey, and Ryan are on the ground, surrounding her.
"I'm calling Mom and Dad, Ash. You're going to be fine. Hang in there." His voice sounds strong and calm, yet I've never seen Ryan this shaken up.
Casey's in full lifeguard mode, keeping his hands pressed firmly on the towels to try to stop the bleeding.
"Please, Ash, come on. Wake up," I continue to plead with her, my pleading tone changing to anger because I'm just so mad at everything. Why is this happening? Why have I been away from her for so long? All I want is her, and I know it. I've known it all along. In this moment, I just want to see her beautiful brown eyes. I want them to open and lock with mine. Why won't they open?
Finally, we hear the sirens.
ASHLEY
The next thing I know, I'm on something hard, my hand brushing against something familiar. I know this pavement. I'm on the side of the pool. I'm trying desperately to open my eyes, but they won't open.
"Come on, Ash," I hear Todd's voice in my ear.
And then there is darkness again. Nothing. Pitch black.
"I'm going with her," I hear Todd's voice again.
"Well, then we're going together." I hear Ryan's voice shout back.
Going with me where? I try to think, but it hurts, so I don't. I want to say something, but I can't. I want to ask where we're going. And I try. I try to move, try to speak, but nothing is happening. So I fall back into the comfort of the black silence.
TODD
Once the paramedics are here, they immediately take over, and now, with nothing to do except stand by and watch, I can finally, truly absorb what is happening. I hate that there is nothing I can do to help. I hate seeing Ashley lying there, not moving. The paramedics are shouting out her vitals, and I wish I knew what those numbers meant. Are they good or bad? Why won't she wake up? I need to be near her, to touch her, and I hate that I can't.
"Two of you can go with her since we have to close this pool," George's voice cuts through my thoughts, and I see him gesture towards Ash's blood floating in the water. "But I need one of you to stay back for coverage."
"I'll stay," Casey says. I don't question it. I think, in all honesty, neither does he. I don't even glance over at him, though. I won't take my eyes off Ashley. I can't.
"We're taking her to Lawrence, boys," the Paramedic shouts back to us as they frantically push her gurney through the crowd of people. Flashes of the last time we were at Lawrence fly through my head. That's where it all started.
"I'm so sorry," a woman says to me and Ryan as we follow behind the paramedics. She must be the kid's mother. "I hope she's okay," she says to Ryan. I see the tears in her eyes. "Thank her for saving my boy." I see the kid standing behind her. I hate that kid. I don't want to hate him, but I can't help it.
"I'll drive," Ryan says, glancing at me as we run to our lockers to get our clothes and phones. He knows I'm in no condition to drive and neither is he, but between the two of us, I think he might have one up on me at the moment.
ASHLEY
I'm on something soft now. I feel like I'm moving, but I can't tell where I'm going or if I'm really even moving. It's completely unclear while everything feels like it's spiraling around me.
"I'm so sorry, Ash, for everything." I feel Todd's hand wrapped in mine. I know his fingers. I know his sent. He sounds upset, but I'm not sure why.
"Can you hear us, Ash?" I hear Ryan's voice filled with panic. I don't like that sound in his voice, and I want to tell him I'm okay. It's fine. Yet I can't speak. I try again, but I can tell nothing is happening because no one is responding to me.
"I'm sorry, boys. I need you to back up. I can't work around you." I hear a voice that I don't recognize. "Ashley, I'm going to give you something for the pain." I feel pressure on my head for the first time and then nothing again.
TODD
As soon as we get to the hospital and go through the familiar sliding-glass doors, they let Ryan and I head back to be with her in the treatment room. She's still unconscious, and seeing her on that bed, in this sterile room, brings back feelings I've buried deep inside from last year.
Ryan and I instinctively walk up to her bed to be close to her, and the doctor working on her threatens to throw us out if we don't back up.
"I only have one patient here, boys," he says, looking at us sternly. When his eyes connect with ours, he can see how much we truly love her. His look softens as he gives us a small smile before he quickly turns back to work on Ash.
"Why isn't she awake yet?" I ask Ryan softly, but the doctor must hear me because he answers without looking back as he continues to work on her.
"We just sedated her so we can stitch up her wound. She's been in and out, which is normal with what she's been through and the injury she sustained."
A nurse comes in with a tray filled with what I can only assume is everything he's going to need to stitch her up.
"If you have weak stomachs, I suggest you wait outside, boys. Like I said, I only have room and time for one patient here."
I know I'm not going anywhere. I can't leave her side again. I won't leave her. Something in my gut knows she's aware I'm here, and I know she needs me. I make a promise to myself that I'm never going anywhere again, if that's what she wants. I say a small prayer that it is.
I glance at Ryan and can tell he's contemplating leaving when his phone buzzes. "My parents are here."
My heart sinks. That means my time with Ash is up. I guess there is one thing that would make me leave.
Ryan reads my disappointment. "Stay here. I'll explain it to them. My dad can't stand blood anyway, so you're doing him a favor."
ASHLEY
I hear voices again. It's Sid this time. How did she get here so quickly? Why is she here at the pool? Where am I? I must be somewhere in the break house.
"Todd, sometimes you can be so stupid. She loves you. She always has and always will. She isn't with Casey, even if he wants to be with her. Even after your stupid song, she wants to be with you."
What is she doing? Why is she saying these things? I mean, they are true, but I'm going to kill her. I want to die. Wait, maybe I'm already dead and that's why she's saying this.
"I don't know, Sid." I hear the doubt in his voice and want to shout 'She's right!', but sound still isn't coming out. I feel his fingers stroke mine. I love the feeling of his skin touching mine. I miss it.
"What's not to know? She loves you. You love her. Enough already."
"I don't know if she still does."
"You must be blind. I swear those blue eyes must not work properly."
I want to laugh. I really do love her, even though I want to kill her at the moment. As I feel Todd's hand in mine, I try to squeeze it back yet nothing. I hear loud beeping.
What is that? I try to squeeze Todd's hand again.
"Ash?" he says excitedly. It must have worked this time, finally a reaction.
I move my head, and for the first time, I feel pain. Wow, that hurts.
"Ash? You're okay." I see his beautiful eyes, and they are that turquoise blue I know they turn when he's been crying. Why was he crying?
"I'll get the Taylors," I hear Sid say. I want to scream, 'Don't go. I have things to say to you,' but I can't seem to form words yet.
"There you are," Todd says, his gorgeous eyes still fixed on mine his fingers brushing across my forehead.
I look around the room and see where that beeping noise has been coming from. It's a heart monitor that I unfortunately know all too well, but I've never been on this side of it. I immediately recognize the sounds and the smells surrounding me. I'm in a hospital. How? Why?
"What happened?" I try to speak again, but I don't even recognize my voice. It's groggy and hoarse, barely a whisper. I instantly regret how close Todd currently is to me. I'm sure my breath is not the best.
"There was an accident. You got hit in the head by the biggest eight-year-old I've ever seen." He laughs a little. "But you're okay. Just a few stitches. And he's okay, too. You saved him."
I smile at that as I try to reach my hand up to my head, but there are so many tubes and wires connected to my arm it makes it hard for me to reach. I can still feel the edge of the bandages, though.
"Why am I here? You don't stay in the hospital for stitches." I ask, having been through this all too often with Ryan.
"True. You have a bit of a concussion, too." Todd smiles as he strokes my cheek. "And since you were unconscious, they're keeping you here for the night, at least."
He glances at the door like he wants to get this out before anyone else walks in. "I'm not sure if you heard anything I said before, but I love you, Ashley. I hate being away from you. I want to be with you—only you. And I hope it's not too late. I'm sorry I was so stupid, and I know I said I thought it was better if we aren't together, but I was wrong. I've never been more wrong in my life. I just hope you feel the same way."
As a reflex, I try to nod my head, but I'm instantly reminded how much my head hurts.
"Are you okay?" Concern washes over his face.
"Yes! Yes, I'm okay. And yes, I feel the same way. I always have. I just didn't know how to tell you. I know you think you're bad for me, but the only thing that is bad for me is not being with you. I love you like crazy, Todd Hamilton. I love you and don't think I know how not to. I've loved you during every second of our breakup, and even though I like hanging out with Casey, I've always loved you. I've missed you. I want you."
"You have no idea how happy that makes me." He gives me his crooked smile, the one that always instantly melts my heart. Then he leans over and kisses me, his lips feel like home and they are finally where they belong, with me.
"I found this in your locker." He holds up the bracelet he gave me on my birthday.
"You went through my locker?"
"Well, Ryan and I figured you'd want your stuff when you woke up." He smiles. "I was pretty shocked to see you still had it with you. It gave me hope. Although, I'm not sure it will fit on your wrist at the moment." He gestures to the IV tubes and extra wiring currently attached to me. "But just know that everything this bracelet says is still true. I love you like crazy, too, Ashley Taylor." He touches the gold tubes and balls on the bracelet that spell out my initials. "Always have. Always will."
I close my eyes. I can't believe how bad my head hurts, but I also can't believe this is happening. This better all be real and not some cruel dream. Then I hear my Mom's voice.
"My baby!" she screeches into the room, and my cheeks flush red at the embarrassing interruption. And with that, I know this is real because, if it were only a dream, my parents would not be in it.
"Good to see you, kiddo," Dad says as he gently kisses my bandaged forehead.
"You, too, Dad." My voice is still hoarse, but it's gaining strength. "Concussions really hurt," I say, moving my focus to Ryan.
"Tell me about it. I definitely like being the one in the bed better, being on this side sucks." Ryan smiles down at me as he moves closer to my bed.
Accidental Love (Accidental Crush #2) Page 20