The Art of Manliness - Manvotionals: Timeless Wisdom and Advice on Living the 7 Manly Virtues

by Brett McKay

That night, Beowulf fulfills his promise; he fights Grendel and fatally wounds him. And he has proof to back up his words; having torn off Grendel’s arm in the midst of their combat, he hangs the monster’s severed limb from the rafters.

  In the morning … it was told to Hrothgar what had taken place, and he went into the hall. He lifted up his eyes towards the high golden roof, and behold, as a trophy of the fight, there hung the arm of Grendel.

  The King was glad, and he said to Beowulf, “Thou hast done a deed which all the might and wisdom of man was not able to accomplish. The mother who bore thee may well be proud of thee, Beowulf. Best of men, I love thee as my son. Ask what thou wilt of me, and I will give it. There is nothing I am not willing to give thee.”

  Beowulf replied, “Willingly have I served thee in this matter, O King. Would that I had been able to hinder Grendel from going away! But the wretch will not live much longer. Pain will hold him in its deadly grasp until he dies in his den. It is the doom which the pure Creator has appointed for him on account of his crimes.”

  All looked with wonder upon the hand of Grendel aloft upon the roof. The nails on the fingers were hard as steel. Hunferth, the son of Ecglaf, was silent as he gazed on that hand.

  A Generation of Young Men

  Who Did What Had to Be Done

  FROM WE WHO ARE ALIVE AND REMAIN:

  UNTOLD STORIES FROM THE BAND OF BROTHERS, 2009

  By Marcus Brotherton

  The men of Easy Company were a highly elite group; they made it through the demanding training of Camp Toccoa, parachuted into Normandy for D-Day and Holland for Operation Market Garden, fought the Germans and the freezing cold in the Battle of the Bulge, liberated concentration camps, and secured the Eagle’s Nest, Hitler’s mountaintop retreat.

  But these men never bragged about their service; some didn’t even tell their families about what they had done in the war. Men of honor don’t do the courageous thing for the accolades, but because it is the right thing to do, because it is their duty.

  CLANCY LYALL

  Today I often speak to students in schools. The number-one question I get asked is, “Did you kill anyone?” My answer is, “Yes, it was war, and I know I did. But there’s more to the story that you need to know.”

  Were we heroes? There’s no such thing as a live hero. Damn good soldiers, yes, but heroes, no. You do your job and everybody does it with you.

  EARL McCLUNG

  Our heroes are over there where the white crosses are. We’re survivors over here. None of us are heroes. I don’t think you’ll talk to a man who says we are. You figure a hero is someone who does above and beyond the call of duty, and when you give your life that’s as above and beyond as you can get.

  ED JOINT

  People come up to you and say you’re a hero. I can’t claim to that. “I was just an ordinary soldier with a bunch of good guys.” That’s all I can say about that.

  JOE LESNIEWSKI

  Being a hero? I don’t even care for the word. I’m an individual that had a job to do. I don’t feel that I’m any kind of hero. I’m just an ordinary guy like I’m supposed to be. To me, the work had to be done. I was asked to do it. So I did. When I lecture kids I tell them the same thing: don’t brag that you’re anything more than you are.

  ED TIPPER

  When I was a teenager I took freedom for granted until I got through the army and saw what the Nazis had done in Germany. Then I realized that freedom isn’t automatic; it has a price.

  World War II was a justified and necessary war. Last year I met five survivors of Auschwitz concentration camp. The things that happened to those people should never have happened to any human being.

  Do I think my actions in the war were heroic? No, I don’t. I’m even uncomfortable with the word. I was part of a generation of young men who did what had to be done.

  Glory

  FROM HÁVAMÁL

  Translated by W.H. Auden and P.B. Taylor

  Over 1,000 years old, the Hávamál (literally “Sayings of the High One”) is a collection of Old Norse poems. Its words of wisdom provided spiritual sustenance to the mighty Vikings, who believed the poems to be the advice of Odin, chief of the Norse gods, on how mortals should live.

  Cattle die, kindred die,

  Every man is mortal:

  But the good name never dies

  Of one who has done well.

  Cattle die, kindred die,

  Every man is mortal:

  But I know one thing that never dies,

  The glory of the great dead.

  “Honor is the reward of virtue.” —Cicero

  The Soul of Honor

  HONOR: AN ADDRESS TO THE CADETS OF NORWICH UNIVERSITY,

  AT NORTHFIELD, VERMONT ON THE COMMENCEMENT DAY, JULY 13, 1871

  By Malcolm Douglass

  I do not use the word Honor here in its very common sense of high reputation, or power; for men are sometimes honored by their fellow men, for their riches, or success, or station, or influence, who know very little of what true honor is. I do not mean that honor which one lad may obtain amongst his fellows by his superior strength, or his talents, his memory, his wit, his symmetry, or his agility. He may obtain a kind of honor for these things, and yet be a mean-spirited fellow after all. These accomplishments and gifts I have no fault to find with; they are good and most desirable in themselves; they are not to be despised if they are not obtained by unworthy means, and employed upon unworthy objects They may justly procure approbation for their possessor; they may often worthily attract the admiration of others; they may excite remark and criticism; they may call forth sentiments of esteem and respect from the generous, and of envy from the base. Nevertheless, the honorable notice which they bring does not necessarily secure their possessor from a great lack of true nobility of spirit. We sometimes find both gifts and a noble spirit in the same person, but the presence of the one does not guaranty the presence of the other.

  This Honor, then, the honor of circumstance, of position, of power, is not that of which I would now speak. There is another species of honor, within reach of all—a higher grade; the honor of self-respect; the inner spirit and soul of honor; the honor of thinking good and noble thoughts; the honor of acting upon just, wise, and healthy principles; the honor of living amongst your fellows with kind and just and true and reverent regards and sympathies. The honor which frees you from meanness, vulgarity, baseness, and ignoble conceits and plans. This is the honor which I would now and always commend to you. It is not always popular. I do not care, or wish you to care, whether it is popular or not. I would present it for its own sake, and in its own simple and severe majesty. … this honor of which I speak, and which I commend, may be sought for and gained by every one of you. This spirit of honor, this self-respect, which aims to secure, not so much the approbation of others—though it will secure it in a measure—as the respect and approbation of your own better nature, your own true, honest, unprejudiced, self.

  Having said thus much, let me remind you of some of the prominent characteristics of this Honor.

  The first characteristic which I would mention is Truth. By this I would be understood to mean both the sentiment of Truth, implanted in your nature and growing with your growth, and also its outward demonstrations; as truth of purpose, which you call Ingenuousness—truth of action, which you call Honesty—truth of speech, which you call Veracity—truth of manners, which you call Candor—truth of life, which you call Integrity—truth of principle, which you call Uprightness.

  Be true then to your word; be true to your promises; be true to your instructors; be true to your fellow students; be true to yourselves; and be true to your God.

  There is another important characteristic of true Honor, which I would next place before you. It is Fidelity. Fidelity to the trusts committed to you. I ask you to notice that old English word, Trust-worthy, i.e. worthy of confidence. It is used to point out anyone who can be depended upon to keep that securely which has been committed to
him, or to discharge to the best of his ability that which it is his duty to do. Fidelity is the soul of trustworthiness. It is loyalty to that position in which God has placed you, and to the various trusts which are committed to you. It is a most noble characteristic.

  A third characteristic of true honor is Courtesy. This is a word that includes within its meaning, Politeness, Civility, and Good Manners. I do not speak here of Etiquette, which comprehends rather the rules of society and of social life; rules which may greatly vary in different times and in different places, and which are easily learned if one is disposed to learn them and finds it necessary. But I speak of that which is the soul of Etiquette, which supplies it with meaning, whatever the rule of society may be; that which gives luster to civility, that which gives heart to politeness, that which gives charm to good manners. Courtesy, is a kindly desire and a considerate effort for the comfort and happiness of those around you. It is immeasurably beyond mere mannerism. It is a specific antidote to selfishness. It is a precise fulfillment, in your manners, in your words, in your gestures, of the golden rule, “Whatsoever Ye Would That Men Should Do To You, Do Ye Even So To Them.” It teaches you to place yourself, in thought, in the position of those around you; and to recognize their just claims to attention and respect. … It teaches you, if you have hastily or thoughtlessly given pain to another, to break through the false shame and evil pride which would prevent you from acknowledging and remedying your fault. It teaches you to sympathize in some sort with the lives of your fellow beings, and to lend them a helping hand in the time of need. It develops your charity, of thought, word, and action.

  Aim to be true gentlemen, to be young gentlemen. We do not desire you to be other than you are. We do not wish you to wear a mask, to conceal under a polished exterior the inner selfishness, vanity, malice, and rage of the heart. But in this respect to study Truth, and not only to be what you seem to be, but to be what you ought to seem to be—Courteous.

  But I pass on to another point. If you would cherish in yourselves true Honor and self-respect, cultivate also the spirit of Reverence: Reverence for all persons and all things which are to be reverenced. Your Parents are to be reverenced … The guardians and keepers of the Nation’s power and liberties are to be reverenced, whatever their political views may be. … Our people, old and young, greatly need reformation on this point. One of the evil fruits of the intoxication of politics which is rife amongst us, is a most disrespectful and slanderous way of dealing with the prominent men who differ from ourselves in political views, and who may be actually discharging in good faith the duties which have been committed to them by the vote of the majority of the people, according to our republican system and principles. This license in abusing the characters of our public men, because they differ from us in views of political statesmanship … is most dishonorable. … We may be as decided as we choose upon political theories and principles, but we must reverence the Ruler for the office’s sake. … Those who grant honor where honor is due, will not fail in their turn to receive it.

  The last point which I shall venture to present to you in this list of the characteristics of true honor, is Modesty. … In conversation, rather inquire than declaim, rather follow than lead; or, if your duty and position calls you to lead, then strive to draw out others rather than to make a display of yourself. In setting forth your own capacities and merits, rather obtain the endorsement of others whose judgments and opinions are worthy of respect, than take pains to assert your own opinion of your worth. In your intercourse with others, and especially with those of the opposite sex, be respectful, be courteous, be pure-minded, be pure worded, be deferential. Do not be tempted under any circumstances, or upon any occasion, to give up a certain amount of quiet reserve, into which you will permit no one whatever to intrude. This is absolutely necessary if you would secure your own self-respect, and the thorough respect of others.

  You are growing up to live, and move, and act, in the world of men, to be Citizens of this or some similar community; and the sense of true Honor which you manifest in your youth will cling round you, and ennoble and dignify you in your age. With greater and greater earnestness, then, avoid and forsake all that is low, base, mean, unworthy, and depraved, and follow the right and the true way; aiming to set in yourselves an example of the beautiful union of these grand constituents of true manly Honor: Truth; Fidelity; Courtesy; Reverence; Modesty.

  AFTERWORD

  * * *

  Now that you’ve reached the end of this book, you’re hopefully feeling strengthened, invigorated and inspired to live the seven manly virtues.

  But you may also be feeling a bit discouraged. Perhaps the standard of manliness laid out in these chapters seems impossibly high—an ideal that can never be reached.

  It probably is. And thus our cynical world would tell you, “Why bother?”

  This is why cynicism is the cancer of manhood, the disease that has sapped our virility and eaten away at our thumos.

  If you set your ideals high, while you may never reach the peak you’re aiming for, you will assuredly go much farther than if you had fixed your sights on low hanging fruit or upon nothing at all. Not only will you climb higher, you will find your manhood along the way. The blood, sweat and tears you shed as you struggle toward that difficult peak will transform you into the man you wish to be. The reward is not in the destination, but in the striving.

  This is a truth the great men you have met within these pages knew well. For example, while Benjamin Franklin never attained the “moral perfection” he sought in living a life of virtue, he believed he was “a better and a happier man” than he would have been if he had not made the attempt.

  Becoming a man is not a one time event; it is a decision you make each and every day. It is a decision to rebel against society’s low expectations for men. It is a challenge to not accept a life of apathy and mediocrity and to seek to become the very best man you can be. It’s a decision to take the hard way, to take the path of virtue, honor and excellence, and to leave behind a lasting legacy. At its core, manliness is the decision to simply try and to keep on trying. To stand with Teddy in the arena, to fall and to get up, and to never become one of those “cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

  The voices of the great men of the past rise from the dust, hearkening to you to join them in this legacy of manliness. Will you answer the call?

  PERMISSIONS

  * * *

  CHAPTER 1: MANLINESS

  Manliness Is Teachable: From EURIPIDES, COMPLETE GREEK TRAGEDIES, EURIPIDES IV. “The Suppliant Women” trans by FW Jones. Copyright © 1959. Reprinted by permission of The University of Chicago Press.

  CHAPTER 2: COURAGE

  Why Direct Action?: From “Letter From Birmingham Jail.” Reprinted by arrangement with The Heirs to the Estate of Martin Luther King Jr., c/o Writers House as agent for the proprietor. New York, NY. Copyright 1963. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr; copyright renewed 1991 by Coretta Scott King.

  Duty, Honor, Country: Reprinted with permission of the General Douglas MacArthur Foundation, Norfolk, Virginia.

  CHAPTER 4: RESOLUTION

  Winston Churchill’s Speeches During the Fall of France: Reproduced with permission of Curtis Brown Ltd, London on behalf of the Estate of Sir Winston Churchill. Copyright ©Winston S. Churchill.

  Engraving of Winston Churchill: Courtesy of Berryhill & Sturgeon, Ltd.

  Determination Is the Answer: From “Frozen Hell-Clancy Lyall,” “Frozen Hell-Herb Suerth Jr.,” “Frozen Hell-Bill Wingett,” from WE WHO ARE ALIVE AND REMAIN: UNTOLD STORIES FROM THE BAND OF BROTHERS by Marcus Brotherton, copyright © 2009 by Marcus Brotherton. Used by permission of Berkley Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

  To Fight It to the Last. The Final Letter of Robert Falcon Scott to His Wife From the South Pole: Permission granted by arrangement with Falcon Scott. Holder of the document: Scott Polar Research Institute MS 1835; BJ.

  The Last of the
Human Freedoms—to Choose One’s Own Way: From Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl. Copyright © 1959, 1962, 1984, 1992 by Viktor E. Frankl. Reprinted by permission of Beacon Press, Boston. In the UK and Commonwealth, excluding Canada: MAN’S SEARCH FOR MEANING: THE CLASSIC TRIBUTE TO HOPE FROM THE HOLOCAUST by Viktor Frankl, published by Rider. Reprinted by permission of the Random House Group Ltd.

  CHAPTER 5: SELF-RELIANCE

  Our Job Was to Do Whatever We Could Do: From “Fighting in Normandy-Ed Pepping” from WE WHO ARE ALIVE AND REMAIN: UNTOLD STORIES FROM THE BAND OF BROTHERS by Marcus Brotherton, copyright © 2009 by Marcus Brotherton. Used by permission of Berkley Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

  CHAPTER 6: DISCIPLINE

  Quote from WAR by Sebastian Junger. Published by Grand Central Publishing. Used with permission of Hachette Book Group, Inc.

  CHAPTER 7: HONOR

  A Letter from George Washington to His Wife: Reprinted by permission of TUDOR PLACE HISTORIC HOUSE AND GARDEN, WASHINGTON, D.C.

  A Generation of Young Men Who Did What Had to Be Done: From “Thoughts on Heroism” from WE WHO ARE ALIVE AND REMAIN: UNTOLD STORIES FROM THE BAND OF BROTHERS by Marcus Brotherton, copyright © 2009 by Marcus Brotherton. Used by permission of Berkley Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.