Indulge

by Liv Morris

  “Yeah, a few plus twenty,” she laughed and threw the bag in my direction. “Seriously, you have an entire pharmacy in that bag.”

  I looked down into my purse as she left the locker room. She was right. Why did I have such a stockpile of tampons in my purse? Hadn’t I just had my period last week? I tried to remember my last period as I stared down at the pink and yellow wrappers.

  It wasn’t last week…

  Or the week before…

  I actually couldn’t remember when it had been.

  Panic overtook my body as I realized that my period was at least three weeks late. This had never happened before. My nausea immediately resurfaced, reminding me that I hadn’t felt well for the past week or so. The only food I could keep down was crackers and water.

  No, no, no…

  This wasn’t happening to me. I had only ever slept with Ty. I could not be pregnant. I wasn’t pregnant. There had to be another explanation for this. Maybe it was the extra running or basketball practice. Maybe it was the stress of the basketball tournament. There was no way I was pregnant.

  “Are you okay?” Lexy asked as she walked back into the locker room. “You haven’t moved.”

  Pulling my eyes away from my purse, I attempted a smile. “Yeah, I was daydreaming.”

  “It must have been something good,” she teased.

  “You have no idea,” I said as I reached for my gym bag.

  ***

  I avoided Ty as much as possible over the next two days. I made up excuses to not be alone with him. I knew as soon as we were alone that I would tell him what I was thinking. I wasn’t ready to admit anything or accept that this might be my future.

  To further my internal torture, I wasn’t able to take a pregnancy test to prove whether I was right or wrong. If I bought a test at our local pharmacy, everyone would know about my predicament before I could leave the pharmacy’s parking lot. I would have to wait until I could get to a larger store in another town.

  The Eastern conference tournament began on Thursday, and the basketball teams were loading into the red and black bus just after lunch. Both teams had afternoon games, so we would get there early to warm up. Walking across the parking lot to my car so that I could head to the gym, I was stopped by Ty.

  “Hey, babe,” he leaned down and kissed my cheek. “Good luck tonight. Colton and I are leaving as soon as English is over.”

  “Sounds good.” I tried to fake a casual smile. “I’ll see you there.”

  “Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked, not letting go of my hand. “You’ve been distant all week.”

  “It’s nothing,” I looked toward the ground to avoid his eyes. If he kept asking, I knew I would tell him.

  “We’ve barely touched all week.” He lifted my chin so I couldn’t look anywhere but into his eyes. “Tell me what’s going on.”

  When he couldn’t take my silence any longer, he leaned down and whispered. “Is it just your time of the month or what?”

  Shocked by the irony of his question, I laughed and shook my head.

  “Well is that it?” he asked.

  Not knowing what words to say, I looked toward the ground again and let the words come out. “Actually it’s the exact opposite of that problem. I’m three weeks late.”

  “Late for what?” he asked, confused.

  Looking up, I could see the confusion in his eyes. He had no idea where this was going. “My period is three weeks late, Ty. I’m not sure what’s going on.”

  “Oh, shit,” he mumbled as realization set in. “Are you serious? How did this happen? Are you sure?”

  “You know how it happened.” I glared up at him and turned to walk the rest of the way to my Jeep. “We haven’t used a condom in over two months.”

  “Sorry,” he grabbed my arm as he caught up with me. “I didn’t mean to say it like that. This was the last thing I expected you to say.”

  “Well, you don’t need to worry about it,” I tried to shake off his hand. “This is my problem, not yours.”

  Ty wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his chest. “Don’t say that. You know I’m not going anywhere. No matter what happens, we’re still us. We will be together through everything. We’ll figure this out.”

  He leaned down and tilted my chin up with his hand. “I love you.”

  I sighed and closed my eyes. “I love you too. I’m just not ready for my life to turn into a reality show.”

  “It won’t, baby.” he held me tighter. “We’ll get through this. Now, focus on basketball and kick some ass. Try not to think about this until the tournament is over.”

  “I’ll text you from the bus,” I kissed him quickly before opening my Jeep door.

  “I love you, babe.” He waved as I pulled out of the parking lot.

  Our first basketball game in the tournament was won easily. Lexy was convinced I had contracted some form of bird flu, so she picked up any slack that I was leaving behind. I could see the worry in Ty’s eyes when I looked up into the stands. He was smiling, but there was something else hidden behind his eyes and I knew exactly what he was thinking about.

  Friday at school, Ty ushered me around like I was made of glass. After six hours of being handled with care, I was glad for the escape to the bus where I could ride in silence to our next basketball game.

  With Lexy’s help, I was able to focus more during the second game, and I sealed our victory with a last-second three pointer. For the first time in a week, I felt relaxed and enjoyed the act of jumping and cheering with my teammates.

  My relaxation quickly disappeared when I sat down next to a sullen Ty in the stands.

  “We won,” I leaned into him. “Why aren’t you congratulating me?”

  “Are you sure you should be playing basketball in your state?” he whispered in a stern tone. “I have to sit here and keep my mouth shut while the other team basically tackles you. I had to go outside and calm down after that one girl flung you to the ground.”

  “First of all, I flung her to the ground,” I stated. “I don’t remember any tackling either.”

  “It’s not a joke, Bailey.” He slumped his shoulders back into his seat.

  “I know it isn’t.” I nudged his arm. “I plan on buying a test the next time I can go in a store where no one knows me.”

  “Okay,” he nudged me back. “At least promise you will be careful until we know.”

  “I promise.” I smiled and kissed his cheek.

  Our final game on Saturday night was with our long time rivals, the Morgan Bears. Lexy and I had grown up competing with the girls from their team, and they made it no secret that beating us and winning the tournament was their only goal.

  Running onto the court once the announcer yelled our names, we were confronted with cheers from our crowd and boos from the opposing team. It was going to be a rough game, and I hoped Ty would be able to watch the entire game without punching a nearby wall.

  Lexy and I walked to the center of the court to shake hands with the other team’s captains. Grabbing my hand as soon as I held it out, the larger girl across from me leaned into my ear.

  “You should expect to be in pain after this game,” she hissed into my ear.

  Squeezing her hand tight and glaring into her eyes, I scoffed back. “You should expect to lose this game.”

  Dropping her hand and turning my back, Lexy followed suit.

  “What did she say to you?” Lexy asked as we walked toward our team.

  “It doesn’t matter,” I growled. “I just hope I get to guard her the entire game.”

  My wish came true, and I was paired up with the large girl who seemed angry to be anywhere near me. Her continual comments only fueled my focus to block every shot she attempted to put up. Each time she pinched my side or poked my ribs, my anger would give me the energy to speed by her and score points for my own team.

  By the third quarter, I could see the rage boiling out through her eyes. Knowing I had twenty seconds before we would be in pl
ay, I ran over to one of my friends on the opposing team.

  “What’s her deal with me?” I asked Jena, a girl I had competed with for over ten years.

  “She just moved to our town this year,” Jena quickly replied. “I think she’s trying to prove something if she can get you flustered. Most of the team is embarrassed. Sorry.”

  “You know it’s only making me play better, right?” I looked toward the large girl who was glaring in my direction.

  “You’ve made that pretty clear.” Jena shrugged just as the referee blew the whistle.

  The girl became more hostile with each point I scored. Determined not to let her intimidate me, I continued to score against her with each chance I got. After my twenty second point of the game, I lined up on the court so our team could play defense at full court. Lexy stole the basketball from their point guard, and my legs took off toward our goal.

  As soon as Lexy passed me the ball, I dribbled toward the basket for an easy lay up. I could see the girl who had definite anger issues from the corner of my eye. Determined to score, I dribbled harder toward the goal and began to shoot. Just as the ball left my hand, I felt something hard crash into my side and send me flying through the air.

  I landed on the gym floor with a loud thud, and crumpled as my right hip and elbow cracked against the hardwood. Letting out a loud groan, I curled into a ball to try and stop my head from spinning. I was trying to figure out what had hit me when Lexy’s voice rang through my head.

  I could hear her screaming, and opened my eyes to see both teams being pulled apart by the coaches and referees.

  “Are you okay?” I heard a medic say. “Can you sit up?”

  “What happened?” I asked as I attempted to move. Unable to sit up on my own, I grabbed the man’s hand and allowed him to pull me into a sitting position.

  “You were hit by another player,” the medic replied. “She has been escorted out of the building, but right now we need to make sure you are okay.”

  After a quick series of tests and questions, the medic decided I should try and stand. Lexy grabbed my arm as I stood on the gym floor. I was at least six feet from the goal where I had originally started. I could hear the distant cheers coming from the entire gym, but was mostly focused on standing on my own two feet.

  “We are going to win this tournament for you,” Lexy said, passing my arm to our assistant coach. “Go, and make sure you are okay.”

  I steadied myself against Coach Walker as we walked toward the locker room. After the medic confirmed that I had no internal damage, I was cleared to sit on the bench and watch the remainder of the game. Before we could stand up, my parents and Ty rushed through the locker room door with worried expressions.

  “Is she okay?” my mother asked the medic. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine, Mom,” I winced as she gripped me in a tight hug. “Ow. I’m really sore, though.”

  “I’m sorry,” my mom said, tearing up. “That fall looked horrible. I was sure you had broken something. They made us wait outside of the door while the medic checked you out.”

  “I’ll be fine, Mom,” I tried to reassure her. “What happened to the girl that pushed me?”

  “She was evicted from the building,” my dad said in a stern tone. “I’ll make sure she is expelled from her school as well.”

  “Dad,” I tried to argue, but a pain shot up my side.

  “Just rest,” Ty said quietly as he sat down beside me. “We can leave now if you want to go home.”

  “I want to watch the rest of the game,” I sighed as I looked into his eyes. “I promise I’m okay. I’ll just be sore for a few days.”

  Searching my eyes for any sign of discomfort, he grabbed my hand. “Let’s get you to the bench then.”

  “Thank you,” I whispered as I allowed him to pull me to my feet.

  ***

  The ride home from the basketball game was the most painful experience of my life. Ty and I decided to ride home with my parents instead of in Colton’s truck. Even with the extra room in the backseat, every bump and turn made my entire body ache.

  Every person in the crowd stood and cheered when I left the locker room and made my way to the bench. I found out the girl was suspended from school for one month only because I convinced my dad she shouldn’t be expelled.

  Lexy led our team to victory and earned the title of Most Valuable Player of the entire tournament. I was proud and happy to watch my friend earn the title she deserved.

  Once we were home from the basketball game, Ty somehow convinced both of my parents that it was a good idea that he stay the night in my room. I was beyond shocked that they agreed to the idea that I might have a brain injury or need something in the middle of the night.

  When I woke up Sunday morning, I felt worse than I ever thought was possible. Crying out loudly as I attempted to get out of bed, Ty jumped up to my side.

  “Let me help you,” he said as he grabbed my arm. “Stay in bed, and I’ll get whatever you need.”

  “I need to use the bathroom,” I laughed. “You are not helping me with that.”

  Not laughing at my joke, he helped me slowly stand up. My right side ached with any movement.

  “I’ll walk with you and help you back to bed afterward,” he stated. “Do you need any pain medicine?”

  “Yes, I do,” I groaned as I took my first step. “There’s some Tylenol in my medicine cabinet.”

  Deciding I actually needed help at the moment, I allowed Ty to walk me to and from the bathroom. I was grateful he found the pain medicine as well.

  “You look like you didn’t sleep at all.” I looked into his bloodshot eyes as he pulled the covers back over me.

  “I was more worried about checking on you,” he shrugged. “I promised your parents I was only here to make sure you were okay.”

  “Come lie down with me.” I attempted to lift my arm out to him before my eyes began to close again.

  I could feel the bed shift and the covers move as he slid in next to me. “I was so worried last night, but you actually seem worse today. Let’s go to the hospital and have you checked out again.”

  “I’m okay,” I whispered as I began to drift back asleep. “My right side is just sore from the fall.”

  Waking up late Sunday afternoon, I saw that Ty was still asleep next to me. I wasn’t sure if I actually felt better, or if the Tylenol was doing its job, but my body ached less. Rolling to my side, a small cry escaped my lips before I could stop it. Stirring next to me, Ty opened his eyes and looked down at me.

  “Sorry.” I managed a smile. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

  “You’re going to need to work on being quiet before next year,” he said as he pulled me close under the covers. “Are you okay?”

  “Yes, I’m fine. Why before next year?” I asked, nuzzling into his neck.

  “I assumed we’d be living together.” He kissed the top of my head.

  “And why is that?” I moved my head back to look into his eyes. “Are you planning something I should know about?”

  “I just thought it would make the most sense if we are going to have a baby,” he shrugged. “We’ll go to the same college, find a small apartment, and raise our kid. It’ll be hard, but we can do it together.”

  I allowed his words to sink in and could see my future in his eyes. It was almost enough to make me excited for this little being that might be growing inside of me. Maybe we could do this if we stuck together. I moaned again as I attempted to sit up in the bed.

  “Baby, lay back down.” He gently pulled me back against the pillows. “I’ll go get you an ice pack from the kitchen.”

  I stared at the ceiling as he walked out of my bedroom. I hadn’t wondered about how he’d feel about this situation. I had only thought of myself and my future. Ty had spent the last few days planning everything out for us.

  He returned in less than a minute and handed me a fresh ice pack. “Here, take this.”

  “Thanks,” I rep
lied as I adjusted the ice pack on my hip. “Have you heard back from any of your schools?”

  “Just a few in Michigan,” he shrugged. “I’m still waiting on Brown and UCLA. How about you?”

  “Yeah, I’m still waiting on Brown too,” I sighed. “I hope we find out soon.”

  “Don’t worry, baby,” he said as he pulled me in for a soft hug. “Wherever we go, we will be together.”

  ***

  I woke up Monday morning and whined loudly as I rolled out of bed. Every muscle in my body still ached, but I knew I would need to put on a brave face if I wanted to convince my basketball coach I was able to play in our next game.

  Ty had stayed by my side until late the night before. I was actually surprised he hadn’t snuck back to my house to stay the night again.

  After suffering through my morning shower, I made my best attempt at straightening my hair and applying makeup. Dressing in a gray sweater, loose jeans, and Ugg boots, I frowned in the mirror when I saw my reflection showed exactly how I felt.

  Parking my Jeep next to Lexy’s Mustang in the school parking lot, Ty was at my door before I had turned off the engine.

  “How do you feel?” he asked as he lightly kissed my lips.

  “Terrible,” I sighed. “I figured I would be a lot better by now.”

  “You took a hard hit.” He brushed the hair behind my ear. “Just take it easy for now.”

  “We have a game tomorrow,” I whined. “I have to be able to play.”

  Helping me out of the Jeep, as if I could break at any moment, he smiled. “You are the most stubborn person I’ve ever met.”

  “Thanks,” I frowned as we made our way toward the school.

  I spent the next three days watching Ty treat me like a porcelain doll. My coach refused to let me play in the game on Tuesday, and I was lucky that he let me begin practicing again on Wednesday.

  My period still hadn’t arrived which caused Ty to earn the gold medal in overprotective boyfriend. He ushered me to and from each class with his hand gently on my back. Weaving in and around the other students, there was no way he would let anyone else get near me.