by Liv Morris
I nod, Cash opens the door and I climb into the truck. He goes around and hops in. It takes just a few minutes to get to the McCrackens’ so we decide to stop and grab a drink at the Chevron. We then hit the back roads for a few minutes.
“Hey, Cash. I didn’t want to bring this up tonight, but I gotta.”
Cash looks at me like he is afraid of what I’m going to say.
“I got this envelope on my birthday. It’s from Dylan.”
Before I can say anything else, Cash starts to talk.
“Did you open it? Why didn’t you tell me before now?”
“Cash, I haven’t told a soul about it or opened it. I brought it with me so that I could open it with you.”
He looked relieved.
“I didn’t want to do it alone, and you’re the only one that understands. I just don’t know why the hell he won’t leave me alone.”
“Char, it’s going to be fine. When do you want to open it?”
“I don’t know. I thought maybe tomorrow while we’re fishing at the club. I don’t want to ruin tonight, and I don’t want it to ruin tomorrow either. That’s why I told you now.”
“Whatever it is, it will be fine.” He pulls me close and kisses the top of my head.
“I love you, Cash. Thanks for everything.”
“I love you too, Char. Now let’s go to the bonfire.”
Cash fires up the truck and to the McCracken farm we go. There are already a ton of kids here. It’s obvious by the number of cars left at the entrance of the driveway because at these parties if you don’t have four-wheel drive, you have to leave your car at the bottom of the field. That’s one reason why I love being from the country. If we throw a party, we make it hard for Barney Fife to find us!
We finally make it to where the trucks park, and I slide out on the driver side after Cash. He helps me down and smiles. I smile, too. I can hear country music blaring out of a radio. I love the country. There is nothing better than a party in the middle of nowhere, where you can get as loud as you want with no one to tell you to turn down the music.
We walk hand in hand to the bonfire. There are coolers, bottles, and red Solo cups everywhere. I look at Cash and laugh. Here we are with our Choice Cherry Golds. Cash likes his beer, but after that night, he doesn’t drink if we are out together. He is always looking out for me.
We walk up, and Cash sees Thompson. This is his family farm. We go over and talk. Thompson is glad we could make it and offers us anything in his cooler. We say thanks, but not right now, and continue to make rounds talking to everyone.
Within an hour, it’s packed. People are laughing, drinking, dancing, and singing. I do have to say it is quite funny to be one of the sober ones here. Tessa and Sally show up with cooler in hand.
I give Tessa that look. You know, the one that says do something stupid and I’ll kick your ass ‘cause I’m your big sister.
“I swear, Char. I’m not going to do anything stupid. Sally’s not drinking, and we drove her Jeep.”
“All right, but don’t make me say I told you so in the morning.”
They go to find the rest of their friends.
The further into the night the louder it gets. People are talking, dancing, and getting way too friendly with others. Cash and I just enjoy each other’s company. We dance and laugh. It is great to have him with me. I am totally protected and feel loved. He wraps his arms around me and holds me tight as he places kisses on my cheek.
“Char, I’m so glad that you’re home even if it’s just for a few days.” About that time we hear a certain song coming through the speakers. It’s “Crash My Party” by Luke Bryan. That’s our song.
Cash turns me around and looks me in the eyes. He places his forehead to mine, and we dance like no one else is watching.
Cash begins to sing the words to me, “Go ahead and call me call me call me, you don't have to worry about it Baby. You can wake me up in the dead of the night, wreck my plans baby that's alright. This is a drop everything kinda thing. Swing on by, I'll pour you a drink. The door’s unlocked, I'll leave on the lights, Baby you can crash my party anytime.”
That’s right. I can call him anytime. He’s always there no matter what. As the song ends, I continue to look into those deep blue eyes and our lips meet like it’s the first time they’ve touched. I can’t get enough of him or close enough to him. We are brought back to reality by everyone singing their hearts out to “Boys ‘Round Here”. Well, that’s one way to take us out of our fairytale. We laugh as we look into each other’s eyes. He gives me one more kiss before we join in the redneck karaoke dance party around the bonfire.
In unison you hear, “Red, red, red, redneck….” By the time the song is over, I’m dancing and shaking my ass all over Cash. We are having the best time with people just like us in the middle of nowhere.
Around 11:30, Cash and I start to make our way back to his truck. He holds me close to him, and I take every bit of it in.
Our ride home is like nothing has changed since the day I walked away from him at the club. We get back to my house and pull into the drive. He turns off the truck and looks at me.
“Char, thanks for a great night. You make everything right when you are home. I think you better get inside. We’ve got a big day tomorrow.”
“Now, Cash, did you think I’d forget tomorrow?” I say with a smirk before giving him a kiss that will leave him wanting more.
As we’re kissing, Cash lets out a moan then pulls back from me. “Char, you’re gonna have to stop that if you wanna go inside any time tonight.”
I just smile. I kiss him one last time on the cheek before hopping outta the truck and walking to the house.
“Hey, Char. I’ll see you at ten tomorrow at the club.”
“Damn straight you will!” I wink and walk to the house.
I wake up to the smell of bacon. That has to be the best aroma ever! I mean, at my house bacon is a staple product and it’s like religion when we talk about breakfast. I hop out of bed and go downstairs to see my mama cooking her favorite meal of the day.
“Hey, sweet girl. I’ve got your favorite—biscuits, bacon, grits, and eggs.”
“Yum! Thanks, Mama.”
“So, you and Cash fishin’ for your birthday today?”
“Yup, I gotta meet him at the club at ten.”
“Girl, you better get a move on. You only have thirty minutes.”
“I’ll be alright. It’s not like he’s never had to wait on me before.”
“Sweet girl, I don’t want to know what exactly is going on with you two, but I’m not stupid. Just remember that you are all he thinks about even when you aren’t here. Just be careful with each other’s feelings.”
“I know, Mama.” I finish eating before going to get ready. We’re fishing, so it’s not like I have to get decked out or anything. I grab my khaki shorts, a tank top, throw my hair into a messy bun, and grab my flip flops. I take a deep breath as I look into the mirror. That damn envelope.
I grab a bag and put the envelope inside it, go downstairs, and grab a couple of Choice Cherry Golds and loaf bread. I walk to my four-wheeler, put the bag on the back, and head to the club.
When I get closer to the club, I can see that Cash has beaten me there as usual. I notice that there are balloons tied to the bottom of the ladder. He’s so sweet. I grab my bag and climb the ladder.
As I reach the top, it doesn’t take me long to see what Cash has done. On the floor is a blanket with a picnic basket. The fishing poles are already in the water and Cash is looking out the window opening.
“Well, I’d say you’ve outdone yourself, Cash Money!” He just about jumps outta his skin and starts to laugh. I love when I can get to him. He turns around and smiles.
“Happy Birthday, Char-coal!”
“Thanks, Cash Money. I love the picnic,” I say with an innocent smile. I can about guarantee what is in that basket. They are the same things that we’ve had on my birthday since we were about seven�
�a PB&J, Cheez-Its, and Choice Cherry Gold. Not to mention I’m sure there is a piece of his mama’s famous pound cake in there.
I walk over to the window and check out my fishing line. Cash studies my every move.
“Anything bitin’ today?”
“Not yet. Did you bring the loaf bread?”
“Did you think I’d forget?”
“Nah, just teasing ya. You know that’s your responsibility when we fish,” he says as he nudges against me.
Every time that boy touches me, my insides get all warm. When we were together before, it was great, but right now I can’t even explain it. The problem is we aren’t together. I keep telling myself that he isn’t what I want right now, but my body is definitely telling me something different.
Finally after about forty-five minutes of not even a nibble, I notice my rod moving. I slowly reel it in, and sure enough, a crappy is on the end.
“I still got it, Cash. I thought for a minute you were going to catch the first one today.”
“Now, Char, you know you always catch the first fish on your birthday.” Cash put his arm around my shoulder and hugs me. Then, he takes the rod to get the fish off the hook.
“What the hell are ya doing, Cash? I’m a big girl and can do that my damn self.”
“I thought maybe since you went off to school you forgot!” He looks and shrugs his shoulders.
“Hey, I ain’t forgot where I’m from and what’s important.” I take the fish off the hook and put it inside the cooler, which is right beside Cash. He is so in trouble! I rub my hand all over his face, fish guts and all.
“Oh, it’s on like Donkey Kong! You better run, Char!”
This probably wasn’t the smartest move, especially since there aren’t many options when it comes to escaping. Okay, so I can either run circles around the club, jump out the window into the pond or slide down the ladder. Or better yet, I think I can cause a distraction. 3…2…1… I cross my arms and grab the bottom of my tank then proceed to pull it over my head and drop it to the floor. Then I unbutton my pants. Cash is frozen still with his eyes on me. I drop my shorts, smirk and cannonball out of the window into the pond.
“Char, that ain’t fair!”
“What’s not fair? You could join me, you know?”
I start to swim out to the middle of the pond to the island, which is nothing more than a large inflatable where we lay out in the summer. When I get about halfway there, I turn around, and sure enough, Cash is down to his boxers and out the window. I better haul ass ‘cause I know this is going to be war.
As I grab the ladder to the island, Cash catches up to me and pushes me under the water. I take him with me, and when we come back up for air, he helps me to the island.
“Char, that was freakin’ wrong in all sense of the word wrong,” he says as he puts his hands on my ass to give me a lift.
“I know, but I wasn’t going to let you win.”
“Well, I’d say I won hands down.” He looks at me from head to toe, and I know exactly what he is thinking.
We lay out on the island and just talk. Later, we decide to finish our picnic and catch our supper.
We make a quick swim across the pond to the club. We climb the ladder, and Cash throws me a towel to dry off. I wrap the towel around me, and he does the same while we make our PB&J’s.
“You know, Cash, there is just something about a PB&J, and for some reason, they always taste better up here, with you.”
“I have to say you’re right about that.”
We finish our sandwiches, dress, and catch a mess of fish that we cook for supper. After we eat, Cash finally says what I have been dreading, but somehow erased from my mind.
“Char, you got that envelope?” I just nod and pull it out of my bag. I hand it to Cash. There is a lump in my throat. I honestly just want to burn it, but I’m afraid of what might happen if I don’t look at it.
“You want me to open it, or do you?
“Maybe we should just burn it?” My pulse is racing faster, and I think I’m going to hyperventilate.
“I will if you want me to, but I know you enough to know you’ll doubt it later.” Cash sits next to me, and we decide to open it together.
As we open the envelope, we don’t say a word. Cash holds me close as I tear it open slowly. It’s a birthday card. How sweet, my ass! I read the inside. What the fuck? I drop the card and freeze. What I am seeing can’t be real. It’s a picture of Piper with some surfer dude, Anna with a hot Latino guy, Carrie with the sexiest nerd I’ve ever seen, and Joe and me at Hank’s Tavern.
Written in the card is a note. I have eyes everywhere. Just remember to keep your mouth shut or there will be trouble. Happy Birthday! –D
I continuously flip through the photos again, faster and faster each time. I can’t stop myself. That son of a bitch has been watching my friends and me. I am not alone, and neither are my friends.
Cash takes my hands and pulls the photos from them. He doesn’t say a word about Joe and me. Instead, he puts them on the floor, pulls me into his arms, and lets me cry.
I am terrified of what my future holds. Just when I think that everything is back to normal, Dylan walks back into my life. This is exactly why I kept Cash at bay. I don’t want him to get hurt.
The sun is starting to set. It’s time to make decisions.
“Char, text Tessa or your mama and tell them we’re going to be out here a while.” I nod.
Me: Just wanted to let u know were still fishin’, be home sometime 2night.
Mama: K, have fun, be safe
The fact that I’m out with a guy doesn’t matter when I’m talking about Cash. He has my parents’ complete trust.
“Cash, what are we going to do?”
“Char, I think we need to turn this into someone that can stop him.”
“We can’t, Cash! No one knows about what he did to me or what I used to do for him when we were together. I could get in trouble, too!”
“Char, I know, but what if Dylan and his sicko friends drug or rape someone else? Your friends, Char? Your friends are in danger! We gotta do something.”
“What can we do, Cash, without getting others involved?”
“Well, first off you need to let your friends know what’s going on. Then, we need to decide how to keep you safe at school.”
We call Piper, Anna, and Carrie. They freak out just a little, but say they have felt safe and will just keep their guard up when they are out. We all decide to call if we notice anyone strange around campus or get anything from Dylan.
“I’m sorry you had to see that, Cash.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Joe and me. I don’t want to hurt you.”
Cash pulls me in tighter, “Just like you to worry about me when you’re the one in trouble. Char, I’m fine. Now if you hadn’t already told me about him, it could have been a different story.”
That gets a small smile out of me. Cash and I decide our best plan of action is to talk to each other every day. He also thinks it will be good for me to walk with someone most of the time.
“Char, I hate to say this, but at least Joe is there. I’m not saying I want you to date him or anything, but I feel safer knowing that you have a guy there to count on. It’s obvious that he isn’t involved or he wouldn’t be in the picture.”
“That’s true! I didn’t think of it like that! Should I tell him what’s going on?”
“That’s up to you.” I mentally decide not to tell Joe. No one needs to know except Cash, my friends, and me.
Cash and I decide that we need to keep the photos and card, but we want to keep them safe. We bury them below the club. We know where they are, but no one else does. A night at the club is what we both need. I need to be in his arms, safe, and secure. Safe. Cash is safe.
Around 4:30 a.m., I wake up. I guess I should get home. I don’t want to give my parents the wrong idea.
I wiggle my way out of Cash’s arms and shake his shoulder to wa
ke him.
“Cash, wake up. I’m going home.”
He moves, but barely. He always could sleep through anything. He wiggles and repositions himself to get comfortable.
“Cash. Wakkkkeeeeuuuupppp, sleepy head.”
“What, Char? Go back to sleep.”
“I’m going home. I figure I better before my parents wake up.”
“Please don’t go. Just let me hold you.”
Who can argue with that? I’m going back to school today; I better take all of Cash in that I can. I snuggle back into his arms and drift off to sleep.
We wake up with the horizon of the sun peeking through the window opening. Gosh that will blind ya. I feel as if someone is watching me, and when I roll over, I notice that Cash is definitely all eyes on me.
“Mornin’, beautiful,” he says with a smile.
Damn, I guess I could totally get use to waking up like this every morning. Cash kisses my cheek before moving off the futon. I help him pack up everything that we used yesterday, and we make our way down the ladder.
He wraps me in his arms and kisses my forehead.
“Char, it’s going to be fine. I wish you would just stay here with me, but I know you won’t. I love you, and I’m going to keep you safe. Right now, you better hurry home and get ready for church. I’ll see you there in a little while.” He hugs me tight one more time, and we go our separate directions.
I return to the house, shower, and get ready for church. I’m straight up Southern Baptist, but I will say we sit third row from the back instead of the very back row. Church is wonderful. I have been slack in that area since I got to Southern. Church has always been important to me. Cash waves as he sits across the sanctuary, and we are dismissed right at noon.
We eat lunch at my grandparents, and then it is time to go back to Southern. I’m ready to go, but terrified at the same time. I pack the Honda, tell Mama, Dad, Tessa, and Blue bye before going by Cash’s to tell him bye once more. I swear the goodbyes are getting old.
I pull onto his dirt road and see he’s waiting on the porch. Before I can put the car in park, Cash is next to my door. He opens it for me and helps me out.
I cross my arms as we stand awkwardly around my car. The longer I stand here, the more I do not want to leave.