Indulge

by Liv Morris

  I close the door, smirk, and pull him to me. Joe throws the vodka onto the bed and welcomes me into his arms. I kiss him long and hard. I don’t really know why; it just feels right.

  “So, Squirrel. What? Are you using me now?”

  I cross my arms and smirk. “Maybe.”

  He laughs. “I can live with that. Come over here and let me use those lips again.”

  We finally pull ourselves off each other and join everyone in the hall. There is no mention of Dylan, and I’m glad. We all fix a few adult beverages and dance the night away in our hall. Club Purple, as Hayden calls it, is open for business.

  At midnight, we shut down the club because practice is going to come way too early in the morning. I have had my share of drinks tonight. I haven’t felt like this since my first night on campus.

  Joe begins to tell me goodnight when I shake my head no. He’s staying with me, that is for sure. I must be drunk, because before I realize what I’m doing, I’m taking off my clothes and putting on new pajamas. I glance over my shoulder and notice that Joe is trying not to stare. The thoughts of last night cross my mind. Payback’s a bitch.

  “Squirrel, was all that really necessary?”

  “I think so.”

  Joe has already made himself comfortable in my bed. I tell him to slide over and crawl in. I know I haven’t talked to Cash. I need to text him.

  Me: Just checking in. Doing good. See you

  Wednesday love u!

  Cash: K Love u more :)

  I put my phone on the desk, pull the covers up to my chin and snuggle into Joe. I’m in heaven right now. Joe kisses me goodnight, and I have sweet dreams.

  Chapter 11: Fall Break

  Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday are the same. Practice, practice, and more practice. Wednesday morning comes quickly, and I already have my stuff ready to go home when I get a text from Joe that there has been a change of plans and he’s staying here. Well, I guess I won’t have to worry about how I’m going to say goodbye at the airport.

  I check on Tori and Georgia. They are packing as well. Anna is going home with Tori, and Georgia is going home for a few days. I tell them that I don’t have to take Joe to the airport, so I’m going to go tell him bye after I put my bags into the car. We all close our doors in unison and walk out of Kluft as the second team that we are. Hayden and Sarah meet us in the parking lot. I hug everyone bye and tell them I’ll see them Sunday at practice. I walk to the Honda, place my bags on the ground, dig out my keys from my purse, and unlock my car. I start to bend down to get my bags when I hear someone yelling my name, or rather, my nickname.

  “Squirrel! Hold up.” I stop what I’m doing and turn around to see Joe running across the lawn. He’s just finished practice but has had a shower. He is in a pair of cargo shorts and an American Eagle graphic tee. His hair is still wet and only makes those eyes stand out more. Not one ounce of muscle moves as he runs, and yes, I have seen that body and I know what it looks like under there, but it’s still fun to imagine.

  He reaches my car and grabs my bags from me.

  “Let me help you with those.” I willingly hand them over and lean against the car.

  “What are you going to do since you decided not to fly home? What did you do with your ticket?”

  “Well, Coach wants us back Saturday, so some of us guys are going to a cabin in Asheville for a few days to just relax. My teammate Mark has family who owns a house up there.”

  “Relax? Don’t you mean party?”

  “Maybe.”

  “What did your gran have to say? Doesn’t that mean you lost money for the ticket?”

  “Well, I always fly standby because my uncle works for the airline. It’s no biggie, I’m out twenty bucks.”

  “Oh. Well, I’ll have to remember that if I ever need to fly.”

  “For sure! Maybe we could all go somewhere for spring break?”

  “Sure, but quit avoiding the subject. What did your gran say?”

  “Well, she was sad, but understood. She figured it was wishful thinking. She knew there was a chance of another practice.”

  “We have to be back Sunday. So, I guess I’ll see you then.”

  “You bet. Now, come here.”

  I uncross my arms and walk to Joe. He wraps his arms around me and hugs me like I’m leaving for good, and then he kisses my forehead, nose and lips ever so softly.

  “See ya Sunday and tell Cash hey for me, will ya?” What are they like bff’s now that they are Team Keep Charley Safe?

  “Sure, see you Sunday.”

  I pull myself away from his arms and then back into my seat. I close the door, buckle up, crank the car, and drive to Grassy Pond.

  I make it home in record time. I’m not sure if it’s due to my anxiety or my lead foot. I’m voting for the lead foot. It’s just past lunch time, and Tessa is at school. Dad’s truck is gone and Mama is at work. I take a minute to breathe when Blue brushes up against me. “Hey, boy,” I say as I rub his ears, I pop the trunk and grab my bag. I look around the farm and nothing has changed. Everything is exactly where it was when I left a few weeks ago. I make my way to the porch and run my bags to my room.

  I grab a Choice Cherry Gold from the fridge and make my way to the swing on front porch. I push open the screen door and get comfortable. I stretch out across the swing and before I know it, I can feel something wet on my hand. I realize that I’ve fallen asleep and Blue is trying to wake me up.

  “Yuck, Blue!” I didn’t realize how tired I was until this moment. I decide to get my ass in gear and go help out on the farm. I walk across the porch and start to open the door when I hear a car coming up the drive. I know that sound anywhere. Piper.

  I hear the car door slam, and we both squeal in delight! I hustle from the front porch and act like a total spaz the closer I get to her. It’s perfectly fine because she is like my mirror image.

  “Dang, Pipe, you get any more sun and you’re gonna have to check a different ethnicity.”

  “Hey, don’t hate ‘cause I’m not a ghost like you.”

  “Now, seriously, what you been up to?”

  “Not much, but I will have to say that I love the beach life. Oh, and class, too.”

  “Yeah, I love Southern, but I do miss here.”

  “Girlie, you mean to tell me you really miss this place?”

  “Afraid so, I was about to go do a little work. You wanna go?”

  “Me work on the farm? I thought you’d never ask!”

  Piper and I are polar opposites. She didn’t do farm work or any work unless she was at my house, and then for some reason, she couldn’t get enough.

  “Well, come on. Let’s go check on Joker.”

  Piper and I stop at the barn to put fresh water and feed out for the horses, pigs, and cows. I even talk Piper into going into the chicken house, which she never does because that’s a little too far in her book. Something about invading their privacy. I think she’s just chicken shit. We finally make our way out to Joker. He is staked out in the lower field to the right of the pond. He’s happy and on our side of the fence. This makes me smile. For once, Joker is behaving.

  Piper and I decide to take a quick boat ride to the island in the middle of the pond. We take the john boat and push it into the water, hop in and paddle our way to the island. I know that we need time to catch up and what better way than in the middle of a pond soaking up some Vitamin D, even if it is almost winter.

  Piper and I talk about everything that has happened since my birthday. I fill her in on Cash, Joe, Homecoming, Hank’s and the Freshman Orientation project. I do leave out the envelope and pictures that are buried underneath the club about thirty feet away.

  “Ohmygawsh, Piper. I wish you could have seen Joe at Homecoming H-O-T!”

  “Oh, he’s H-O-T all right, and if I were you, I’d be all about that!”

  “We’ve been messing around, but since that one night, nothing that far. Honestly, I really think he’s more your type.”


  “I’m not so sure about that, but he does have that surfer dude look that I love.”

  I glance at my watch and realize it is well after four o’clock. We have to get back, and if Tessa knows we’ve been out here, she’s gonna be pissed.

  Piper and I continue to just chat it up as we make our way back to the house. I am in trouble because, sure enough, Tessa’s home and waiting.

  “Char, you mean to tell me you couldn’t wait two hours for me to get home before going to the pond? You know I don’t ever get to go out to the island because I’m not allowed to without someone.”

  “Sorry, Tessa. We really just went to check on the animals and feed ‘em then had time to kill.”

  “I’ll forgive you this once,” she replies as she hugs me. I. Have. Missed. Her.

  We all make our way into the house and take a seat at the kitchen counter. I grab us each a drink. As I hand Piper hers, I hear a knock on the screen door. Cash. I toss her the drink, do a happy dance, and smile.

  “I’ll be right back.” Piper starts making kissy faces at me, and Tessa joins in.

  I walk out of the kitchen toward the front door.

  “Cash, is that you?”

  As I turn left from the kitchen doorway, I can smell the Lacoste cologne, and I know I am right. I make the turn to walk to the foyer and run smack dab into Cash.

  “Slow down there, Char-coal.” My body stumbles backward from running into his. He grabs my arm and retracts me into his body in one fluid motion. He takes his arms and folds them around my shoulder blades and takes a deep breath.

  “Watcha doing, Cash Money?”

  “Breathing you in. I don’t ever want to forget the smell of Aruba Coconut.”

  “You do know it comes in a bottle, right?”

  “But not with a splash of Charley.”

  “I can’t argue there. Hey, Piper’s here.”

  “I know; I saw her car.”

  I start to pull myself away to walk back to the kitchen, but as I try, Cash holds on tighter. He starts to laugh, and I finally give up because I know I can’t win with him. I just look up at him with puppy dog eyes and finally he lets me go, or so I thought. Instead, he tightens the reins and I look up. Mistake numerouno.

  Cash smiles his crooked grin and moves closer to me. Just as I think that he is going to kiss me, he lets go and starts to walk toward the kitchen. As if he’s reading my mind, he turns back around, takes three large steps, wraps his arms around me once more, lifts me off the ground and brings my lips to his. As I kiss him, my left leg pops, ya know, like the one in The Princess Diaries, and I thought that mess just happened in fairy tales. Our moment is totally ruined when I hear Piper, “Get a room! The Super 8 charges by the hour!” With our lips barely touching, we laugh together.

  “Guess we better get in there?”

  “Yeah, I haven’t seen Piper in a hot minute. I still can’t believe she is just now coming home.” I look at Cash like he’s on crack. He just shrugs his shoulders, and we walk to the kitchen.

  “About damn time, you two! I love Tessa and all, but at least if you are going to make out, give us a little piece of the action.”

  Cash looks at me, and before I can think, he starts to go in to kiss me, but then does a one-eighty, puts his hand over Piper’s mouth and fake kisses her. Her arms are flapping, trying to get him to stop, Tessa is about to pee in her pants, and I’m right behind her. This is why I love Cash. He knows exactly what to do in any given moment. When he knows he’s about to have crossed the line, he backs away from Piper like he is a true gentleman and kisses her hand.

  “You are so dead, Cash! You just wait!”

  After a little small talk, Piper heads home, Tessa goes to Sally’s, Mama and Dad get home, supper is fixed and eaten, and Cash goes home.

  I go up to my room and decide to call it a night. I sleep like I haven’t in ages until four in the morning. I wake up in a puddle of sweat and a nightmare that is fresh in my mind. One word. Dylan.

  I get out of my bed and walk down the hall to Tessa’s room. She is knocked out, and I slide in the bed with her. I doze back off and wake up to the sounds of our rooster, Big Byrd, calling to rise and shine. I roll out of bed, throw on my clothes and go help Dad with the chores on the farm.

  “Char, what you doing up so early?”

  “Just thought I’d help ya out. I’m sure Tessa isn’t getting up anytime soon.”

  “You’re right about that. How about you take the Gator out to Joker and feed him and then stop by the pigs and feed them, too?”

  “You got it.” I load up the Gator with feed and slop and make my way toward Joker. You know that goat is a pain in my ass, but I’ll always owe him. If it weren’t for him, who knows what would have happened to me? I take my time feeding him and the pigs and slowly make my way back to the house. Then it dawns on me. Bacon! My mama’s breakfast. I haul ass back to the house, and as soon as my foot hits the front step, I can smell that familiar aroma of hot grease sizzling on a cast iron frying pan. Bacon.

  “Well, look what the bacon dragged in.”

  “Hey, you know me and bacon.”

  Mama finishes cooking breakfast, and we all sit at the table to eat. There is just something about a country-style breakfast. The café sure doesn’t even come close. After breakfast, Tessa and I wash and dry the dishes. As we are wiping down the table, I hear my phone chirp.

  Joe: Hope you’re enjoying home. Mtns r awesome.

  This makes me smile, but I don’t know what to reply to it. Tessa can see the wheels turning in my mind.

  “Who was that, Char?”

  “This guy named Joe.” She looks at me like she could kill me.

  “What?!” I say as I throw my hands into the air. “Cash knows if that’s what you’re thinking.” With that one comment, I know that I have opened up a topic I’m now going to have to fill in the blanks.

  “Start talkin, Char.” Before I start, I reply to Joe.

  Me: :)

  Then I turn to face the music with Tessa.

  She is seated on the other side of the counter on a stool with her elbow propped up and her hand under her chin. Good gracious, she’s waiting. I pull out a stool on the opposite side and take a deep breath. I take my time explaining to Tessa about what has been going on with Joe, Cash and me. I also tell her that Dylan is trying to continue to control me, but I have it under control and that is why Joe and Cash know of each other. I only tell her what she needs to know. I don’t want her to be in danger just due to knowing too much. After I spill my guts, Tessa sits there with her arms folded.

  “You know what? I can’t believe you haven’t told me all of this! No wonder you were so quiet when you were home for the Dixon-West game. I thought it was just because you and Cash were getting so close.”

  “Tessa, I told you we’re just trying to stay as close to friends as we can. But, I will say that I’m glad that Joe knows because I can at least breathe a little bit at school.”

  Tessa sits there searching for words. She removes her hand from her chin and sits up. “If you think that I’m going to sit here and believe all of that, you’ve got another thing coming. I know you like them both no matter what you say, but if Dylan keeps up this shit somebody’s going to get hurt. You have got to talk.”

  I just shake my head no.

  “Char, he’s just going to keep doing this.”

  As I’m about to argue, Mama walks back into the kitchen. “Who is going to keep doing what?” I look at Tessa with pleading eyes.

  “Oh, nothing, Mama.” She stops dead in her tracks and gives us this bullshit kinda look.

  “Girls, there are some things that a mama knows, and I know right now that you aren’t telling me anything close to the truth, so talk.” Here we go again.

  “Really, Mama, it’s nothing. Char and I were just talking about a guy that likes me at school and won’t quit putting notes in my locker.”

  “Nice try. Try again,” Mama says with her hands on her hips.
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br />   “Okay, I got a letter from Dylan. He just won’t leave me alone. I’m so done with him.”

  “Char, sweet girl, I know the way things ended with Dylan were bad. In fact, I know you haven’t told me why you really broke up, but just don’t let him get to you.”

  The fact that my parents only know what I wanted them to about Dylan and me makes this hard. I have to be extremely careful at how I word what I say. They think I got tired of him controlling me; they have no idea that he raped me. If so, he would have been dead a long time ago. Some secrets are better kept that way, and I plan never to tell my parents.

  “I know; it’s just hard when he keeps trying to walk back into my life in the smallest ways.”

  Now that Mama is satisfied by the answer I have given her, she leaves Tessa and me alone to finish cleaning the house.

  “Char, I can’t believe she keeps buying that crap! One day you are going to have to tell her.”

  “Not anytime soon.” I take the rag from the counter, drape it across the sink and walk out of the kitchen. I am done with this conversation. I decide a little more farm therapy is in order. I walk out the screen door and onto the porch, look out into the beautiful place I call home, take a deep breath and hustle down the steps in my boots to help Dad in the barn.

  I spend the entire day out on the farm. It’s cold. There isn’t a garden to pick, but there is still work to do, not to mention that deer season is around the corner.

  “Hey, Dad, have you seen any big bucks around yet?”

  “Yeah, the one is still around. I swear that one is going to be the death of me. He’s going on my wall one of these days.”

  “That is if I don’t get him first.”

  “That’s my girl! How ‘bout you take this corn and go put it out near the fence line? Check the stand, too.”

  I load the corn onto the Gator and then take off. I make my way to the fence line. I put out the corn and hear a four-wheeler in the distance. As I begin to pull the bag of corn off the Gator, I look over my shoulder to see Cash approaching. He turns off the engine and hops off. “Char, let me get that.” I stop exactly what I’m doing because to continue would be a bad idea. Cash doesn’t do well with me trying to be independent. I step back and let him do the work. Once he has the bag off the Gator, I help him put it out. He looks and smiles my way. We make a great team.