Indulge

by Liv Morris

  “Dad, you wanna go with me to check him in?”

  “It would be an honor, sweet girl.”

  Cash, Dad, and I load him on the back of Dad’s truck and make our way to the Chevron.

  “Dang, Charley. I can’t believe you finally got the one! We were starting to think he was just a legend on the farm,” Gus the owner says. “Let’s measure this bad boy.”

  I jump on the bed of the truck and move his head where Gus can get the best angle. “He measures nineteen and a fourth inches. So far Charley, you got the winner, but season’s not over yet. Now, hold them antlers proud for a photo.” I do as Gus asks and then we head back to the house to clean him.

  Dad has it ready, but leaves it to Cash and me. Cash and I spend the next thirty minutes taking care of the one. Once we finish, we clean up and hang out at the barn just for fun. I walk across the barn to the old stereo equipped with an eight track player and turn the knob to our local country station. As I walk back across the barn to Cash sitting on a bale of hay messing on his phone and looking hot as hell. When I get to him, he looks up at me with hunger in his eyes. He puts his phone into his pocket and stands to meet me. He takes me by the hand and pulls me into his chest as he places my hair behind my ear. He then looks into my eyes and begins to pull me closer. I can feel the heat radiating between us as Cash’s lips begin to touch mine. His lips are soft as velvet, and he continues to kiss me delicately and deeply at the same time. That’s when I hear someone clearing their throat. Cutting my eyes to the right I notice my dad standing in the doorway. Oh shit!

  “Hey, Dad. Is everything okay?” I ask as my face flushes bright red. Cash takes a step backwards and puts his hands into his pockets.

  “Yes, Charley. Your mama is baking a cake and needs two eggs. Y’all got an early mornin’. You might wanna call it a night,” he says, looking at Cash.

  “Yes, sir. Charley, I’ll see ya in the morning. I’m hunting on the north side. You going to the same spot?”

  “Yeah.”

  Dad walks to get the eggs and nods as he leaves the barn. Cash and I let out a huge breath.

  “Char, I’m so sorry about that. I thought your dad was gonna kill me!”

  “Nah, he just wants to scare the shit outta ya. I’m his little girl, remember? Even though he loves you.” I say as I elbow him.

  He grabs my arm and pulls me in for a strong and safe hug. He kisses me on my forehead, the tip of my nose, and finally lands on my lips.

  “Guess I better go, I’m sure your dad’s watching the clock.”

  “You know he loves you, but we do have an early morning. Night, Cash Money.”

  “Night, Char-coal.”

  We walk out to our four-wheelers, call it a night, and Cash goes home. I walk into the house, grab a drink from the refrigerator, tell Mama and Tess about the one, then get ready for bed because I have to be back in the stand in the morning. I couldn’t care less if I see anything because I know I’ve won the Big Buck Contest, but just the idea of being outside in nature keeps calling. Plus, I’d much rather be out there than cooking in the kitchen for Thanksgiving dinner.

  Around eleven, I decide that I have hidden out as long as possible before being put to work in the kitchen. My mama has made it well-known that there will be no hunting this afternoon because we will have our family Thanksgiving dinner at our house. Both sets of my grandparents, aunt, uncle, four cousins, along with Cash’s entire family, come for supper. It’s the only time we have a formal meal and bring out the good china. Cash’s family has been coming to these meals since I can remember. When his grandparents were living, they came, too.

  I pull myself from my thoughts, get down from the stand, and ride back to the house. I smell like deer pee and a shower is a must. Mama, Grandma, and Tessa are working hard in the kitchen. I go in to tell them hey and grab a bite of biscuit dough from the pan as my mama swats it away. “Get outta that!” I smile and make my way upstairs. I rummage through my closet to find something presentable to wear. After sliding hanger after hanger back and forth, I choose a teal green, boat neck, long-sleeved, lace embroidery dress. It fits perfectly on my body and two inches above my knee. I really want to wear my boots, but I know Mama will have a cow. I decide that maybe I can get away with a fancy pair of boots. I look and find a pair of brown suede ankle boots and know that they will look perfect. I put my necklace from Cash back in place, add earrings, ring, and I’m downstairs in no time.

  Everyone arrives at the house at two. Thanksgiving meal is served promptly at three o’clock. Due to the number of people for the meal, Tessa, Cash, Cash’s sister Claire, my cousins, and myself have to sit at the kid table located in the kitchen. All the adults are at the formal dining room table and have no clue the conversations and schemes that we have created while they are ten feet away.

  The meal is to die for, and everyone can’t wait for my grandma’s famous squash pie. Most people turn up their nose at it, but once you taste it, your taste buds will thank you. We finish eating and Tessa, Claire, and I help clean the kitchen until the women take over. We are then excused to have some fun.

  We walk out the front door onto the porch to find Cash and my cousins sitting on the front steps, shooting the shit and talking about hunting and fishing. We make our presence known and totally butt into their conversation. I have to tell them the story of the one, as if they haven’t heard it already. My cousins, Claire, Tessa, and Cash give me their full attention, and when I finish, we decide to take a ride out to the pond and do a little night fishing. I run upstairs and change my fancy boots for my old faithfuls.

  The guys have the Gator loaded and we pile on. We spend the entire evening fishing, replaying memories of the past, laughing till I almost pee my pants, and then decide we better head back before dark.

  Tessa and I tell our families bye, along with Cash’s parents and Claire. Cash hangs around, and we enjoy the cool November air on the front porch swing.

  “Just in case I haven’t told ya, you look beautiful tonight.”

  “You don’t look so bad yourself. You like the fancy boots I had earlier?”

  “Yeah, I was wondering if you were going to push your mama’s limits, and of course, you did. That’s why I love you. You never try to be someone you’re not. Char-coal, always be true to yourself no matter what life throws ya. Can you do that for me?”

  I don’t know exactly how to reply to that so, I shake my head yes, then lay my head on Cash’s shoulder as he moves us back and forth in the swing.

  About the time I get comfortable, the screen door flies open and my dad walks out like he is on a mission. I jump about ten feet off the swing, and my dad starts to laugh.

  “Gotta keep you on your toes!” Seriously, the barn and now here! “You two better not get too comfortable out here, if you know what I mean.” His comment isn’t a question, but more of a statement. I know exactly what he means, and so does Cash. My parents have always trusted Cash, but I guess at some point a dad has to let his presence be known no matter how much he trusts him. We move apart, and Dad goes back inside the house.

  “I guess there’s no more staying at the club,” Cash jokes.

  “Guess not.”

  “Char-coal, I better get home. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Wanna walk me to the truck?” I stand and follow him to the truck. We walk off the porch and down the sidewalk to his truck that is parked below the big oak tree in the front yard. As we approach the truck, Cash pulls me into him tight. He breathes in my shampoo and the Aruba Coconut lotion that I never leave home without. He places his hand under my chin, and I look into those beautiful blue eyes. Then, he pulls me in for the sweetest, softest, and most emotional kiss I have ever had in my life. I can feel everything within my mind, body, and soul telling me that this is where I belong. But as stubborn as I am, I just can’t admit it to anyone but myself that I want to be in a relationship with Cash.

  Cash pulls away from me. “Well, I don’t know how Dad would feel about kissing, do you?”


  It’s a good thing it is dark because my face is as red as a Solo cup. I try to come up with a quick remark, but all I can do is pull Cash right back into my lips. This time he pulls away, only to open the truck door and we climb inside to continue our make out session.

  I make my way back to the house and go straight to my room. My mind is reeling as I try to drift off to sleep, and just like he’s reading my mind, I get a text from Cash.

  Cash: Go to bed Char-coal love u

  Me: U need 2 go 2 bed 2! Love u!

  After what feels like hours of tossing and turning, I look at the clock, and it has been a whopping fifteen minutes. I turn on the TV and eventually fall asleep.

  The remainder of my Thanksgiving break goes as planned. I work on the farm, go shopping at Northlake Mall with Piper on Saturday, shoot pool with Cash at Turtle’s, and church on Sunday morning before picking up Joe at the airport that afternoon. The ride to get Joe is a lot easier than it was on Wednesday. He is waiting outside the baggage claim for me as I pull up.

  “I hope I didn’t keep you waiting long,” I say as he climbs into the Honda.

  “Nah, I’ve been out here about five minutes.”

  We make our way back to campus, and most of my hallmates have already returned. I spend the next two weeks going to practice, class, practice, class, and of course, Hank’s on Saturday.

  “Y’all, can you believe that exams start this Thursday?” I comment to Georgia, Tori, Anna, and Caroline.

  “I know. I don’t know what I’m going to do without y’all for a month!” Georgia exclaims.

  “I couldn’t care less about exams. I’m just ready for Study Day!” Caroline squeals. Why the hell is she so excited about Study Day? You study all damn day! “It’s only the biggest party day of the year at Southern. Y’all thought Homecoming was epic. Y’all ain't seen nothing yet!”

  “Explain,” Tori states.

  “Well, undoubtedly on Wednesday at noon the campus goes to quiet hours to study for exams. No class, practice, or anything. Pretty much people put off studying until Thursday afternoon and spend Wednesday partying like it’s 1999 or something!”

  We all look at each other and know that it’s legit because somehow Caroline always is in the know.

  Anna speaks up, “So, if Hank’s isn’t open, where does everyone go?”

  Caroline gets up and walks over to her wall and points to the number 88 sticker on the wall. “That’s easy, Whiskey River!”

  “What’s that got to do with racing?” Anna asks. Georgia, Caroline, Tori and I look at each other like she has got to be kidding.

  “Anna, hunny, bless your heart,” I speak compassionately. “Dale Jr. owns Whiskey River.”

  “Awwwwwww. I don’t know anything about racing.”

  “We know,” we all say in unison.

  “All right, so now that we know where we are going and what goes on, what are we going to wear?” I ask.

  “Since it’s Whiskey River, should we go country?” Anna asks.

  Caroline, Georgia, and I look at each other and smile. It’s time to pull out the hot, sexy country girl attire. There is no shopping necessary for this event because we have it covered! We spend the next two hours picking out wardrobes for an event that is two days away, but we can’t help it. It’s something to look forward to. Hayden and Sarah come over for the fun, and fun is exactly what it is when Hayden tries to pick out an outfit. She is trying stuff on, trying to talk country, acting like she’s riding a horse. We are all laughing so hard we can’t tell her to stop. That girl ain’t right! We make decisions on our wardrobe and call it a night.

  The two days of class go by slowly, partially due to our anxiety of going out in the big city Wednesday night. On Wednesday morning, I wake up and go to practice. Coach gives us the spill about being responsible and remembering that you represent Southern and the team. We promise to call if we need her. Dr. Deal gives us the final lesson in Biology lecture before reminding us that our exam is Friday morning at eight. I don’t have Freshman Seminar, so I am free until exams actually start.

  As I walk out of Biology, Joe is waiting for me. “Wanna go grab a bite to eat?”

  “Sure.” We make our way to the café and go through the line. None of the Kluft girls are around, so I sit with Joe and a couple of lacrosse players. It is funny to be on this side of things. Typically, Joe is always hanging with my friends. It’s nice to see him with the guys. We finish, and I make my way back to Kluft to begin to prepare for the evening activities.

  As I walk up the steps, Caroline, Tori, and the rest of the hallmates are in the hall discussing who is drinking what, who’s going home with whom, and what time we are leaving in the Love Machine.

  “Hey, y’all! Whatcha decide?” I ask as I put my books in my room.

  “I’m making my famous PJ, and the Love Machine is full of gas from what I got from Hayden in class a little while ago. I just can’t wait! We are going to be the hottest country girls those city boys have ever seen!” Caroline exclaims.

  For the remainder of the afternoon, we try to keep the noise down in the dorm. Misty has already warned us once. We decide to take ourselves out to the stoop for a little fresh air. I grab my jacket, slide on my boots, and follow the girls outside.

  The stoop is hopping, and most people are already drinking. I have decided not to drink until I begin to get ready. I plan to have a good night, especially since I feel safer knowing Joe will be there.

  As we sit on the stoop and people watch, Joe comes by with Mark.

  “Hope you girls are ready for tonight!” Mark smirks.

  “You bet your ass we are!” Anna smarts off with her hand on her hip in her strong Northern accent.

  They both laugh, and Joe proceeds to tell me that he will stop by before going to Whiskey River. He also informs me that he is riding with the lacrosse guys tonight, but will be there looking out for me the entire time. I smile and give him a hug before he walks back to Irvin.

  As a hall, we order pizza before getting ready for the night. Georgia rides with me to get the pizza.

  “Char, anything new?”

  “Nope, in a way I hope maybe he’s done playing games, but I know that’s too good to be true. I’m just trying to have fun and experience life.”

  “You’re stronger than I would ever be if that happened to me. I would probably never leave home for anything.”

  “I decided the day I walked away from Cash at the club that I had to focus on me. That’s what I’m doing. I’m almost to the point where I feel comfortable here. Joe is amazing, and I know I can count on him. He really likes Piper, too!”

  “Yeah, that was pretty damn obvious at Hank’s!” She giggles.

  We arrive back at the dorm and everyone piles into the hallway, including Sarah and Hayden. We don’t bother to get plates; we just grab a partner and share a pizza straight out of the box. I drink a Choice Cherry Gold and offer everyone on the hall one, even Misty. Surprisingly, they all want one except Cassie. She’s just a little unsure about it.

  “Dang, Charley! You’ve been holding out on us! Put a little vodka in that, and we got a Charley’s Special!” Hayden announces.

  “Guess we might have to try that out; I’ll bring an extra case back after Christmas for that! Whatcha think?”

  “Sounds like a plan to me!” Hayden says, and everyone agrees. Misty acts like she didn’t hear a word we just said.

  After eating, we shower and get ready for an epic night out. I pull my Desquared2 jean mini skirt, slide on a chocolate brown tank and then pair it with a cream colored chunky knitted asymmetric cable top that has button detailing to the front at the chest, a wrap effect neck-line and short-capped sleeves. When you put it with the skirt, the front is higher and shows off the denim, but the back leaves the illusion that is all I have on. I pull my chocolate Lucky boots from the closet. Those cost me a pretty penny, so I only wear them on special occasions. I add my horseshoe rhinestone belt for accent. I take a few minu
tes to rummage through my jewelry box to find the perfect accessories… found them! I put on a pair of horseshoe rhinestone studs, the matching ring, and Cash’s necklace before applying my makeup.

  We still have forty-five minutes before it’s time to go. I walk to Caroline’s room and pour myself a glass of her PJ before returning to my room to finish my makeup. I call my parents and Cash before going out for the night.

  I call my parents and fill them in on my exam schedule and inform them I will be home on Tuesday around three. Dad can’t wait for me to get home because he has the one ready to be mounted on the living room wall. Tessa goes on and on about Dustin. I’m so happy for her, but I’m afraid she is going to get burned. Cash is counting down the hours till I’m home, and we are able hang out at the club. He also informs me that he will be waiting for me at my house by two on Tuesday.

  We hang up, and I finish putting the final touches on my makeup. As I add a little more highlight to my eye shadow, there is a knock at my door. “Hold on a sec!” I yell. I finish my left eye and walk to the door with the brush in my hand. I open the door to see Joe sitting on the floor across the hall holding an empty fifth of Jack Daniels. He pulls his piercing eyes towards mine, and I’m not sure what is going on in there, but something is beyond wrong. He staggers as he stands. He walks toward me, and if I didn’t know better I would say he is about to cry.

  “Joe, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong? Is it your grandma?” He shakes his head no. He looks like he is trying to talk, and I’m unsure if he doesn’t want to or if the news is that bad.

  As he reaches my doorway, he takes his hand and embraces my cheek. “I’m so sorry, Squirrel! I’m so, so sorry.” He begins to sob. I pull him close, wrap my arms around him and try to comfort him. I have no idea what is wrong, but I will help him fix it.

  “Joe, what are you sorry for?” I take his face in my hands, and he looks into my eyes. He says the words I never thought I’d hear.

  “It was me, Squirrel.”

  My mind is completely confused. What the hell is he talking about? Oh. My. God. Please tell me it isn’t so. There is no way. It can’t be. I take a step back from him without moving my eyes from him.