Indulge

by Liv Morris

  Garrett and I head upstairs to sing to Sierra, since it’s past her bedtime as it is. I start to sing her song after she’s said her prayers only for her to stop me. “No, Mama, I want to hear my song.” I’m confused…that is her song. What am I missing?

  But then Garret says to Sierra. “Baby girl, let’s sing your song to Mama together.”

  The other day, she asked me, where do babies come from?

  She looked at me earnestly, and waited for words of wisdom

  I said to her, my little friend, babies come from love

  Questions children ask, never know just what to say

  Who is God? Where is Heaven? Why does that man look that way?

  I need some inspiration, I don’t wanna let her down

  She looks to me for the answers, I do the best I know how

  What’s it like to be someone else? To live in their bodies for a day?

  Don’t you wonder what they think? Or how they like to play?

  Stumped again by my pint size kin, I say I wonder the same

  Questions children ask, never know just what to say

  Who is God? Where is Heaven? Why does that man look that way?

  I need some inspiration, I don’t wanna let her down

  She looks to me for the answers, I do the best I know how

  Daddy, are we rich? Why do we need money?

  Money’s nice I say to her, but the important things are free

  Time with you, is the greatest jewel, I ever could possess

  Questions children ask, Never know just what to say

  Who is God? Where is Heaven? Why does that man look that way?

  I need some inspiration, I don’t wanna let her down

  She looks to me for the answers, I do the best I know how

  When they finish serenading me, I’m full of unshed tears. That’s just the most precious thing I’ve ever heard. He wrote that song for her. I’ve heard her ask some of those questions to him over the last few weeks. He wrote her her very own song. “I love it, what a beautiful song for a daddy to sing to a very lucky little girl,” I say to them both. I kiss Sierra’s head goodnight, and Garrett follows suit before we leave her to slumber.

  I’m very much looking forward to climbing into bed with my man. I’m dying for him to get his hands on me. It’s been far too long since I’ve fallen apart under his touch, and with all these pregnancy hormones raging, I’m a bit needy!

  He cracks the door, as always, and we start walking toward our room when I’m overcome with a need to kiss him. He overwhelms me….I love him so much. I stop him en-route and climb into his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist as he supports me, holding my bottom. “Baby, as nice as it is to have you in my arms, feeling your warm little center pressed against me this way is making me crazy. You need to let me hold you another way or I’ll lose my fucking mind, Lex. It’s been over ten days...”

  Yes, over ten days and that hiatus is ending tonight. “Yes, Garrett. I need you. Please, take me to bed and make love to me.” I ask in a whisper in his ear!

  “Grrrr…fuck, Lex. You know I want you, baby, but we can’t. You just got out of the hospital. You need to rest,” he says, and I know this is going to be one of those situations where a direct order is the only way to get what I want.

  “Garrett, you’ll take me to bed, right now. You’ll make love to me very thoroughly, and then I’ll sleep. Otherwise, I promise to stay awake all night plotting bodily harm to you in ways I commit to seeing through! Got it?” He looks startled, but is still silent. “It’s been over ten freaking days, Garrett. I’m pregnant and needy and in need of being serviced. You’re the man who did this to me, now be the man to make me feel better.”

  With that he’s trotting me down the hall into our room where he ever so gently places me on the bed, then roughly starts throwing off my shoes and yanking off my yoga pants and top, throwing them haphazardly across the room. He pauses, kisses my face, and runs out of the room. What the hell is he doing? Where’s he going? Then I hear him in Sierra’s room through the monitor. He’s making sure she’s sleeping. Yes…he’s going to be a very Good Daddy!

  Chapter 37

  My girl needs to be loved. She’s made that pretty damn clear, with the threatening bodily harm and all. I did ask the doctor if making love to my girl was okay and he said yes, as long as she’s feeling up to it.

  She looks like she feels okay, but it was only two days ago that Whitney found her in bed unable to keep her eyes open. How good can she possibly feel up to sex now?

  Three days ago, I thought I was going to lose my mind. I was calling and texting Lex, and she wouldn’t take any of my calls or respond to the texts. I was sure she was pissed off that I was away and planning to boot me because of the damn tour. I was pissed and frustrated. I was just getting ready to book a flight and come back to check on things when I got the call from Jason.

  Six hours before a show, we had to cancel. That sucked for the fans, but seriously, there was absolutely no way I would have been able to get on that stage knowing my girl was in the hospital, sick and barely conscious. Even though, everybody and their mother told me I needed to stay…in my heart I knew where I needed to be. She’s my priority. When she needs me, no matter where I am in the world, I’ll fucking be there, with her, always!

  I had to check on Sierra before I let Alexis have her way with me. I wouldn’t want my little princess to ever see what her Mama does to me, or what I’m going to do to her Mama. These pregnancy hormones are serious business.

  I can’t believe Alexis is having my baby. I can’t believe I’m going to be a dad. My precious girl was afraid to tell me. She thought I’d feel trapped. For such a smart girl, she can be stupid as hell sometimes. I’m quite frankly pleased that she’s knocked up, so she can stop second guessing what we have and stay put. What we have is PERMANENT! I’m staying, she’s staying, we’re all staying! I love her so much.

  I walk back into the room throwing my shirt off and heading straight to my beautiful and very ready to be loved girl. “Alexis Nicole, I crazy love you, baby. Really. Really. Really.” I say, standing over her and looking down at her beautiful body. Damn, I’m a lucky guy!

  “You’re incredible, lady! You’re hot as hell and completely mine to play with, right?” I ask, knowing she’ll let me do whatever I want to her right now. All I really have in mind is to fucking worship this woman and her body until she can longer keep her eyes open. Huh…threaten me with bodily harm and not sleeping. I’ll show her cute little ass! She’ll sleep after I’m done with her. I’ll make sure of it.

  “I’m going to be very fat and not at all ‘HOT’, as you say, in a few short months. Get your fill now, because I’ll be hideous, soon,” she says with a nonchalant attitude, but I can see she’s worried, or at least not happy, about that part of being pregnant.

  So I kneel down in front of her and proceed to run my fingers the full length of her torso. “Baby, this little body of yours will never be hideous. It’s building the most precious gift anyone could ever receive,” I say, locking eyes with her. “This baby is a dream come true. Your body can do whatever it needs to, baby. But it’ll never be less than perfect in my eyes, since no other body has, ever, or will, give me anything as precious as Sierra and this baby. I’ll worship your body for those gifts for the rest of my life,” I say to a teary, glassy eyed girl.

  “I love you, Garrett. You’ll never really ever understand what it means to me to have you here, with me, to stay,” she says, as the beautiful tears seep out of her eyes.

  “No tears, baby. I’m here…to stay with you always. And even when I’m away sweetheart, I’m here. My heart is here with you, Sierra, and this new little person.”

  It appears she’s much less in need of being ‘Fucked’ and will now allow me to make gentle sweet love to her. Glad I brought that shit down a few notches. Now, I can take care of my girl the way I know she needs.

  I roll her over onto her stomach and massage all her back
muscles. She’s been achy from being in the hospital bed for a couple days. She was pretty weak from the dehydration and exhaustion. We’re going to need to figure something out for when I leave next week. We’ll need concrete plans to make sure that she has extra hands to help out around here, so she can get some extra rest. My mother, Kate, and Whitney have already been working out a schedule, which I know will make her pissy. She hates when people take control of her life. But, she’s going to need to let them while I’m away, and then I’ll be here.

  I rub her up and down her shoulders, back, and legs. She likes it, because she hasn’t said a word. I lean over her to kiss her cheek and her breathing is even and calm. My precious lady has fallen asleep on me. As much as I wanted to bury myself inside her, it thrills me to see her resting peacefully. I continue to caress her gently, careful not to disturb her, but wanting to make sure she’s really out before I move her up to her pillow.

  I hear a small moan escape her lips and I know she’s stirring a bit, so I jump up, take off my jeans and pop back into bed with just my boxers on. I move in next to Lex, and slide under her, so that her head is resting on my chest. I kiss her forehead, whispering in her ear. When she returns the reply in a small voice, “I love you more. So much more.” Her eyes are still closed, but she’s awake. She’s listening. “Never, lady!”

  “Garrett, it’s clear we’re not doing what I wanted tonight, so stop trying to start an argument with this very tired pregnant woman,” she says with a smirk and snuggles in closer, throwing her leg over my thigh.

  “You’re right, babe, no arguing, but I do love you more,” I say with a kiss to her forehead.

  I wake before the alarm in the morning and switch everything off, so that Lex doesn’t wake up. I’m taking Sierra to school this morning. I want Lex sleeping. I head down the hall to wake up my princess. I’m singing the song I wrote for her when her little eyes pop open and she climbs to the end of the bed to sit in my lap. She sticks her thumb into her mouth and listens.

  I help her get dressed for her day and she tells me about her golfing adventure with Pop, which was really just driving around in a golf cart. She had a lot of fun and my parents are convinced the sun and moon set behind Alexis and Sierra.

  I want to make our little family official. I need to do it quickly. This is about the three of us. Not just Lex and me, so I want to do it right and include my little princess. I have a couple meetings this morning after I take care of Sierra.

  “Breakfast at home or on the go, baby girl?” I ask.

  “Home, Mimi made me the yogurt with berries that we picked,” she says.

  “Is it in the fridge?” She nods yes, her pony tail bobbing.

  After her tasty breakfast of berries and yogurt and, of course, a cup of chocolate milk, we gather her things for school when I hear the angelic voice. “Good morning, I hope you two weren’t leaving without me,” she says, as she’s walking down the stairs into the foyer dressed in a much too sexy running outfit.

  If this lady thinks she’s working out or running today, she’s gone bat-shit crazy! No Damn Way! “Umm, babe, I hope you don’t think you’re working out today. Because I really hate telling you, no, but babe…” then I lower my voice whispering in her ear, so Sierra can’t hear. “FUCK NO!” She laughs, just laughs…no acknowledgement of what she’s planning.

  She bends down to kiss Sierra. “What did you have for breakfast, sweetie?” she asks the little one, who promptly tells her exactly what she’s eaten and packed in her lunch box. “Okay, sweetie, let’s go get into the car and head off to school.” Shit, I wanted her resting, but at least if she’s with me I know she won’t be running.

  We walk out to the garage to get in her Jeep I open her door and she’s standing there just starring. “What’s up, babe? You okay?” I ask, confused.

  “Yeah…sorry…just thinking….I guess I need to get a new car, Garrett,” she says.

  Fan-Fucking-Tastic! I’d thought about this, and wanted to mention it, but it is so much better that it’s her idea. I’m thrilled! “Yes, sweetheart, you do. Do you want me to take care of it?” I ask, hoping she’ll let me, and she just shrugs.

  “I don’t know…I guess, maybe.” And she gets into the front seat, while I check Sierra’s harness.

  We drive Sierra to school and Lex stays in the car, talking to Whitney, while I walk Sierra into the school. While I’m here I also make sure the school has all my phone numbers on Sierra’s emergency records. They were happy to take the information and will call Alexis to approve the changes.

  When I get back to the Jeep, Lex is still on the phone, but I’m positive she’s not speaking with Whitney. She’s visibly upset and talking very sternly into the phone, almost as if she were speaking to a child, but I know immediately she isn’t. “Listen, I’m not giving you anything. You have no right to call me. Why can’t you just let me live a happy life? Please…stay away! I’m begging”

  WHAT THE FUCK? She’s shaking and I know that her strained voice is the result of trying to hold back her tears. I know exactly who she’s talking to and all bets are off now. I place my hand on her knee and look into her eyes, as I reach to take the phone from her ear. “Sweetheart, you need to let me handle this, okay?” She’s nodding her head, accepting my help. God, I love her.

  I put the phone to my ear and hear the rough voice on the other end, not knowing that my beautiful girl has given me the phone saying, “Listen, you little bitch, you’re going to give me some money, or I’ll get to that little girl of yours and tell her all about her real grandparents and what a piece of trash her mommy is. Do you hear me?” the voice in my ear threatens.

  I’m enraged. I’ve never in my life felt this amount of anger. “YES, I fucking hear you,” I say into the phone. “Now, it’s my turn. You come anywhere near my future wife, or child, and you’ll need a hell of a lot more than money to help you. I want you to forget, and I do mean forget, this fucking number, or I’ll make your life a living, breathing hell.” The voice responds with an evil laugh.

  “Ha, Ha. My life is a living, breathing hell already. I gave life to the most ungrateful little fucks on the planet and they won’t help their mother. Now you, Mr. McKenna, wouldn’t know anything about that, because you take good care of your family, but your little bitch of a girlfriend forgot who gave birth to her. She’ll give me the money, or I’ll make her life hell!” she says into the phone.

  I open the door and step out of the car to continue this conversation without Lex hearing. “The fuck you will, woman! Since you know who I am and what I’m all about, you know that Alexis and Sierra are my entire fucking world. I’ll do everything in my power to keep them safe. Stay the fuck away…or else you’ll learn exactly what I mean by everything in my power,” I say with all the anger and intensity I’m feeling before hanging up. If I could reach through the phone and thrash this woman, I would!

  FUCK….I scroll through the contacts as quickly as possible, knowing Alexis is watching me and crying from the passenger seat, but I have to deal with this. I find Jason’s number and press send. He answers on the first ring. “Hey, sis, you okay?” he asks a bit too cheery for my mood.

  “It’s Garret. And no she’s not okay, because your mother called just now throwing around some pretty serious threats if Lex doesn’t pay up. You want to fill me in, so I can get this shit taken care of. I can’t have her dealing with this shit, Jason! I thought you had it handled?” ooompfh…I hear crap flying in the background through the phone.

  “FUCK ME…WHEN? How did she get to Alexis? That’s it! I’m killing her!” he yells at the top of his lungs.

  “I’m taking Alexis home and settling her down, but we need to meet. TODAY! Meet me at the house,” I say, and he responds that he’s on his way.

  Jason loves his sister, and I know he’ll do whatever he can to protect her, but here, now, I have a little bit more power than he does. There’s absolutely no way I can stay out of this. I just hope Alexis understands and lets me h
andle it.

  When I get settled back into the driver’s seat, she is climbing over the console onto my lap. She’s crying very big unhappy tears, and I’m pissed. “I’m so sorry, Garrett. I wish I knew how to get rid of her. I don’t want her causing you problems. I’ll try and find a way…” she’s rambling.

  “Alexis, this isn’t about me, baby. Stop being sorry. I’ll fix this, sweetheart. Don’t cry. I’ll handle it. I’ll be fine as soon as you take a deep breath and relax. I’m fine when you’re smiling and calm, lady,” I say to her in the calmest tone I can muster. “Baby, no one will come near you or Sierra. I promise. You’re safe with me. Always,” I promise, trying to settle her nerves. I feel her taking a deep breath. “That’s it, baby, again,” I prompt, and she does it four more times. She’s relaxing a little. I lift her head off my chest so that I can see her eyes. “Sweetheart, you’ve got nothing to worry about. Let me handle this and you just be a happy mommy, taking care of our princess and the little one in here,” I say putting my hands on her flat stomach. She nods and climbs back to her seat.

  As soon as we start driving, I’m desperate to change the subject so I ask, “What kind of car do you want, babe?”

  She shrugs again. “I don’t really care. Something safe, I guess. We have some time.” Yeah...we have time, but she’ll be driving a new car by the end of the week and it was her idea. I didn’t have to force this issue.

  When we get to the house, true to his word, Jason is in driveway. He walks over to the car and opens Lex’s door. Before she can say anything he starts apologizing, “Alexis, I’m sorry. I don’t know how she got your number. I’ll fix this. Please, don’t be mad at me, or stress.” But that’s when I notice…she’s pissed. She’s mad at her brother, which is confusing. He didn’t have anything to do with this.

  “Jason, I warned you. You should never have fed the lion. I wouldn’t be in this situation if you didn’t. I TOLD YOU. Now she’s threatening Sierra. This is your fault, Jason,” she yells, as she storms out of the car and into the house. Shit...I don’t know what’s going on, but she’s not holding anything back. “Have you told your wife, yet? You know that if she’s going to try to get to Sierra, she’ll be on your doorstep, too.”