Indulge

by Liv Morris

  Belle walked back over, carrying my coffee and a slice of apple pie.

  “It’s not the best pie, but it’s edible,” she whispered softly, her smile reaching my heart. I laughed at her endorsement. Her talents were wasted here; with those skills, she should have been working in marketing. I eased my fork into the soggy pie crust and lifted the contents to my mouth. Well, she was right. It certainly wasn’t going to break any pie-making records anytime soon.

  “How are your studies going?” I asked, spooning the stale pie into my mouth and washing it down with a gulp of coffee.

  “Okay. I find it hard to concentrate though,” she admitted, biting her lip in an attempt to hide her smile. But her eyes gave her away.

  “Why is that?” I smirked. I had a pretty good idea of why. I’d put money on it being the same reason as to why I couldn’t concentrate at work. The same reason I was here now.

  “Because I hate not seeing you.” She poked her tongue out at me, her hands stretched out across the counter opposite me.

  “If it makes you feel any better, things at work suck. Every time I try to work, you invade my thoughts.” I chuckled. Her eyes sparkled as she smiled.

  “Thanks,” she laughed. I rolled my eyes. She knew what I meant. “So coming here, I’m guessing that was just to see me?” she said shyly.

  I made a face. “Well I certainly didn’t come for the pie,” I joked, pushing the plate away from me, the slice only half-eaten. She laughed loudly, her whole face engaged.

  Fuck, she was so beautiful. I’d had beautiful women before. In fact, every woman I’d been with was beautiful, but Belle had a different kind of beauty. She made me think about things in a new way. Could I really give all that freedom up for her? And did I even want to? I wasn’t happy sleeping with woman after woman, but I was so fucking scared of letting someone inside my heart that it would almost be easier ending this now.

  “I’m nearly finished,” Belle commented. She was thinking something, but I wasn’t exactly sure what.

  “Okay,” I said, waiting for her to elaborate.

  “Maybe I can stop past for a quick drink?” she asked. Her eyes suggested she wanted so much more than a drink, and thank fuck for that. If she came over I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off her.

  “That sounds good,” I smiled. “Come over when you’re ready. You know where I live,” I chuckled. I stood up and threw down a twenty. “Keep the change. I always tip the hot waitresses,” I said, winking. I smiled, listening to her laughter as I walked out.

  ***

  Belle arrived shortly after nine. I led her inside, pushing her up against the closed door. I leaned in to kiss her, my lips meeting hers, our tongues clashing. God, it felt so good to be touching her and tasting her. It’d only been three days since I’d seen her last, but it felt like three days too many. With my arm threaded around her waist, I guided her over to the sofa.

  “Sit down,” I said. She did, and I sat next to her. “Tell me about your day,” I mumbled, kissing her neck. She smelled so sweet, like she’d fallen into a vat of fairy floss. My tongue trailed down her neck, unable to get enough.

  “I didn’t do much,” she admitted. “I had school and then went straight to work.”

  I glanced over at the small backpack she’d been carrying. She followed my gaze and giggled.

  “Really?” she said laughing, instantly getting what I was thinking. I blushed. Yes, I actually blushed, and apparently that was adorable. “Aww you’re blushing!” She said, pinching my cheek. I swatted her hand away and tried to look threatening, which only made her laugh harder. “It’s okay, Jack. I’ll do it, just for you.”

  She stood up, grabbed the backpack, and ducked into the bedroom. I sighed and shook my head. She was only gone a few moments when she called out to see if I was ready.

  Holy fucking shit.

  She stood in front of me, dressed in her school uniform. She’d rolled the top of her skirt so it sat way too short on her thighs. Her knee-high stockings looked ridiculously sexy paired with her shirt. The first two buttons were undone so a nice amount of cleavage was on display. I was as turned on as fuck, and when she straddled me I became even harder.

  “Do you like it?” she whispered in my ear as she rubbed herself against me. I groaned, not really capable of putting words together. “Do I make a sexy schoolgirl?” she asked as she reached down and unzipped my fly.

  “All I can say is I’m so fucking glad I’m not your teacher and I’m even more glad you’re eighteen now,” I mumbled as my cock sprang out. I reached under her skirt and put aside her panties. I shoved my cock inside of her. God, this is every guy’s fantasy, and here I was living it. With one hand on her shoulder and the other at her waist, I pushed her toward me as I pumped myself inside her. I was so close to exploding. I slid my hand up her shirt and gently massaged her breast. She moaned softly, as if she was enjoying this just as much as I was.

  “You’re so tight and wet for me,” I muttered, my dick moving in and out of her as she sat on top of me. She moaned as I squeezed her nipple, her hand gripping mine. I was so close, any moment now I was going to explode inside her.

  “Fuck me, Jack. Fuck me harder,” she whispered, riding my cock, her grip on my hand tightening. I thrust into her as she continued to cry out, faster and harder until I could feel the spray release from me. I pulled myself out and removed the condom, tossing it aside. I turned my attention back to Belle. She whimpered softly as my finger traced her upper thigh. She was very wet, and she jumped at my touch. I moved down the sofa until I was lying flat.

  “Come here,” I said to her, motioning towards my face. She moved in for a kiss, and I laughed. “Not those lips,” I said with a cheeky grin. She giggled and positioned herself just above my face.

  “It’s okay,” I said, sensing her hesitation. “Just lower yourself down onto me.” She obliged, gasping as my mouth settled on her lips.

  “Oh God,” she gasped as I moved my tongue inside of her. I loved the sweet taste of her pussy, especially when it was so wet and tight for me. My tongue circled around her clit, gently nibbling and sucking. She screamed as the muscles in her thighs tensed, indicating she wasn’t far away. I thrust my tongue faster while my finger massaged her clit.

  “Fuck, yes, Jack! Fuck, fuck,” she yelled as her body spasmed. “Stop, oh god, stop,” she whimpered. She lifted herself off my face so she was lying on top of me, her mouth next to mine. I grabbed her hair and pushed her lips onto mine, kissing her hungrily.

  “Can you taste how sweet you are,” I muttered, my tongue circling hers. She whimpered, as though she was unable to get enough. Eventually she pulled away, her head resting on my chest. We were both exhausted, unable to move and not wanting to break this perfect moment.

  I touched her hair, my fingers running gently against her scalp and following each strand out to the tip before letting it fall back down to her shoulders. I loved her hair. I loved her beautiful green eyes, and the way they lit up when they saw me. I loved her body, her curves, and the feel of her naked skin up against me.

  Most of all I loved who she was, this amazing woman who could light up a room with her smile and make me laugh uncontrollably at her stupid jokes. She nestled closer into my arms, her eyes closed and a smile spread across her lips.

  “I love you, Jack,” she mumbled sleepily. I tensed. I so badly wanted to tell her how much I loved her, too, but I just couldn’t get the words out. She looked up at me, confused.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked. Her eyes clouded, suddenly realizing. She gave me a smile that didn’t quite stretch to her eyes. “You don’t need to say it back. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said it. It was way too early.”

  I sighed. “That’s just it. I do love you. I love you so fucking much, but I can’t do this.”

  “You can’t do what?” She sat up, looking hurt and scared.

  “It kills me to think about not being with you, but you deserve someone so much better. I would just end up
hurting you. That’s who I am, Belle, and I’m scared, I’m scared out of my fucking mind that I’ll mess this up and hurt you.”

  “Jack...” Belle said. Her voice trailed off as words abandoned her.

  “The last thing I want is to let you go, because I do love you. I love you so fucking much, but I will suck the life out of you. You might love me now, but five or ten years down the track you’ll be nothing but a broken shell. I can’t stand the thought of you hating me for that, and you will end up hating me for it.”

  “I don’t get it, what do you mean, broken shell?” she asked, tears welling in her eyes.

  I sighed, reaching up to wipe her tears away. “I’m messed up, Belle. You deserve better than me. I’m scared of hurting you, I-I’m scared of ending up like my father.”

  Belle hugged me tighter. “I’m a big girl, Jack, believe it or not, and capable of making decisions for myself. And I don’t believe for a second that you would sabotage this. I think what we have is strong enough to get through anything, even your insecurities.”

  “But what if I’m right? I can’t risk ruining you. Even if there’s only the slightest, most miniscule chance that being with me will break your spirit, then I don’t know if I can do it.” I turned my head away, cursing at the tears that were threatening to roll down my cheeks.

  Being in love sucked. Things were much easier when I was just an asshole. I took what I wanted without caring how my actions affected others. I’d rather hurt myself than risk hurting her.

  “I’m willing to take that risk. You have to trust me. You need to believe in yourself and us. And you need to believe me when I tell you that you won’t damage me. Even if you completely fuck up, I’m strong enough to handle that. That’s part of what you love about me—my strength—and that’s something that will never go away.

  I smiled up at her. She reached up and wiped the tears from my eyes. I leaned toward her and kissed her tenderly. She was so much wiser than her eighteen years.

  ***

  “Nope, blue,” she giggled.

  “Seriously? Fuck me,” I groaned, taking another shot of whisky. We both sat naked on the floor, our clothes surrounding us. We’d spent the rest of the evening entertaining ourselves by getting to know each other better. The latest game was guessing things about each other. Things like favorite color, favorite movie, favorite band, favorite food, and so on. You get the picture. We were both slightly tipsy but I was impressed with how many things we actually got right.

  Still, I couldn’t believe that I’d gotten her favorite color wrong. It seemed every day she was wearing something pink, so surely it was a natural assumption on my part that her favorite color might be pink. Apparently not.

  “Okay, your turn,” she laughed.

  “Hmm,” I said in deep concentration. “What is my favorite band?” I asked, handing her a bottle as if I already expected her to get it wrong.

  “Oh, crap, I know this one...Um, Jimmy Hendrix?” She announced, a smile on her face.

  I rolled my eyes. “One person is not a band, Belle,” I teased. “Wait! That’s why you had no idea who he was! Because you’re only eighteen!” I collapsed on the floor, laughing hysterically. That should have been the first thing to tip me off. She leaned over and hit me, laughing as hard as I was.

  “Just because I don’t have your same bullshit taste in music doesn’t give you permission to make fun of me,” she retorted, taking her shot. She made a face and handed me back the bottle. “Fuck, Jack, it’s two in the morning. I have school tomorrow, not to mention my parents are probably freaking out.”

  I snorted. “What are you going to do? Stumble home drunk?”

  “What’s the alternative?” she asked as she shrugged and started gathering her things.

  “Stay here with me.” I took her hand and pulled her into my arms. “Text your parents, say you lost track of time and you’re staying with a friend. And spend the night with me.” I kissed her neck while she debated the pros and cons of my proposition.

  “I guess I could do that,” she said slowly, turning to face me. She had that look in her eyes again—the one that told me I wouldn’t be getting much sleep tonight.

  Chapter Eighteen

  We eased back into a routine pretty quickly. Belle gave up on trying to stay away and just began to study at my house. Not that we actually got much studying done, but I helped where I could.

  “What do you want to watch?” I asked, putting on the television. I had gotten her drinks, snacks, and given her little distractions when she needed it.

  “I don’t mind,” she said, a smile on her face. Her course books scattered the floor and she looked tired.

  “Come here,” I said, patting the space on the couch between my legs. She made a face and I laughed. “No, for once I’m not thinking that,” I chuckled. She came over to me and sat down, waiting for me to do whatever it was I was going to do. I gently lifted her top and pulled it over her head. I unclasped her bra, letting the straps fall down her arms.

  Slowly, I began to rub her neck, my fingers easing out the knots that had formed in her muscles. She groaned softly, letting me know that it was exactly what she needed.

  For the next half-hour I worked on her neck and her shoulders, relieving all the tension that had been building up. The stress of her exams and having to keep our relationship secret had taken its toll on her.

  “How’s that?” I whispered, kissing her ear as my fingers continued to work along her collarbone. She sighed in response, not capable of speaking. I chuckled and continued to rub. I worked my way down the length of her spine. Her back arched at my touch. When I was finished, I pulled her back into my arms.

  “Wow, that was amazing,” she said, a dreamy smile on her face. I laughed and kissed her lips.

  “Anything for you, Belle,” I murmured, stealing another kiss.

  We lay in each other’s arms watching TV, but not really watching anything at all. Every now and then I would kiss her or touch her—something to make her remember I was there.

  “Can you play me something?” she asked, smiling up at me.

  “What?” I said, confused until I saw her glance towards my guitar. “Oh,” I chuckled, suddenly getting it. I moved out from under her and reached for the guitar. I’d been working on a song, one that I wasn’t sure I was ready to share with her.

  I began to strum my fingers against the strings. With my eyes closed I began to sing, softly at first. My heart was pounding, like I couldn’t believe I was doing this. This song was about her and she had to know that. I put into the song all the things I’d wanted to tell her that I couldn’t bring myself to. This song ripped me open and completely exposed me to her.

  Walking round in circles, never reaching the end.

  Time moving by me as I try to pretend.

  Out of the shadows you stepped into my heart.

  Your love filled the cracks that were breaking me apart

  Everything that is beautiful is caught up in you,

  I’m so into you baby, that this is what I wanna do,

  These feelings make me nervous, something so new,

  But I’m into you darlin’ and I’m gonna see this through…

  As the notes died down, I forced myself to look at her. She was staring at me, her eyes brimming with tears. I smiled at her as I undressed, ignoring the pounding in my chest. That was the first time I had ever sung in front of anyone, and I chose the song I wrote about her?

  “Was that about me?” she whispered, reaching for my hand.

  “No, it was about the postman,” I said, shaking my head. “Of course it was about you,” I said nervously. She laughed, her face flushing.

  “It was beautiful,” she whispered, leaning forward and kissing me. “Jack, you’re really good. Really, really good,” she said, her eyes wide. I put the guitar down and shrugged.

  “I’m not that good. I mean I’m okay… You’re the first person I’ve ever played in front of,” I added quietly.

 
; “Why? You’re really good. You look so comfortable holding that guitar, like you were born to play it.”

  I laughed. “The only thing I was born to do was take over my father’s business.”

  “Do you like what you do? Working for your dad?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t hate it,” I answered. “It fills in the time.”

  “I want more than something that fills in the time,” Belle replied, her fingers tracing along my arm. “I want to love whatever it is I do. I don’t want to wake up day after day and wonder what the hell it is I’m doing.”

  “I used to think like that,” I admitted. “When I was fourteen, Luke, me, and the guys formed a rock band.” I laughed, thinking back at the memory of our one and only show in Luke’s garage. It had fallen apart shortly after, mainly because none of the others knew how to play anything. Or sing, for that matter. And I suffered from some pretty severe stage fright. Belle laughed.

  “Oh my god, that’s so cute!” she giggled. I tickled her waist, only making her laugh harder. “Stop!” she screeched, tears in her eyes. Sitting up, I scooped her into my arms.

  “Do you want to join me in bed?” I asked. “I can rock your world,” I added huskily. She giggled and kissed the tip of my nose.

  “You already rock my world, Mr. Falcon.”

  I winced. “Don’t call me that. It makes me picture my father. I never want to picture you and my father,” I added jokingly. She burst out laughing and wrapped her arms around my neck as I carried her into the bedroom.

  ***

  I arrived at work early. With only three days until Delenski arrived with his daughter, I needed to run through some figures to make sure this negotiating went smoothly. If I didn’t know my stuff, then things would go downhill pretty quickly and we could kiss this deal goodbye.

  Carly brought in a coffee for me. Things between us had been pretty awkward since our ‘chat’ and I didn’t know how to fix it, or even if I could. Our relationship had become purely professional, to the point where if it wasn’t work related, we didn’t talk at all. I missed the joking around and the laughs we used to have. I even missed her sass, and her smart-ass remarks.