Indulge

by Liv Morris

  Your warmth touched me deeply, down to my core,

  When I saw your smile so beautiful, it was then that I knew,

  Your love left me wanting, everything that was you.

  I wish I’d have told you how much you meant to me,

  You’re forever in my heart, but now I need to set you free.

  I don’t want to live without you, I need you by my side,

  But now you’ve got you wings, Angel, I want you to fly.

  Everything that is beautiful is caught up in you,

  I’m so into you baby, that this is what I wanna do,

  These feelings make me nervous, something so new,

  But I’m into you darlin’ and I’m gonna see this through

  Everything that is beautiful is caught up in you,

  Oh Angel, everything that is beautiful is only you.

  I put the guitar down, resting my head on the case as I stretched out on the ground next to her. I was sobbing like a baby. Any plan I had of holding myself together had flown out the window the moment I began to sing. She would have loved it. I knew that, but it didn’t make it any easier to say goodbye.

  I cursed myself for not bringing a flower or something to place on the grave. Not that she needed any. There had to be over ten bunches of flowers, all neatly arranged over the fresh soil. I lay there thinking and feeling guilty. I was about to embark on a new life, a new beginning, and I was leaving her here. Sitting up, I brushed the dirt from off my clothes. If I didn’t leave right then, I would miss my flight.

  Getting to my feet, I stood there for a moment, not sure how to say goodbye. The song didn’t feel like enough, but I had no words inside me that could come close to summarizing how I was feeling.

  “I love you. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you that when it mattered, but I love you and I will always love you.” I wiped my eyes, and picked up the guitar case. Then I did the hardest thing I had ever had to do.

  I walked away.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Three months later.

  All things considered, it had been a pretty good day. Most days were hard. I still thought about Belle all the time, and Alex was always on my back about getting some therapy, but today I’d done something I know would’ve made Belle proud.

  It started the week before when I saw an ad in the paper for an open mic at a local bar. I tore out the ad, shoved it in my pocket, and ran through reason after reason as to why it was a bad idea. Not surprisingly, it wasn’t hard to talk myself out of it.

  Today, I’d woken up and found that little piece of paper scrunched up in the pocket of my jeans. What made that day different from any other day, I don’t know, but I took my guitar and I went to that bar and put my name down to sing.

  Okay, so the crowd wasn’t huge—maybe twenty people, max, but for the first time in my life I performed in front of the public. What’s more, I fucking loved it. I’d written a few more songs over the past couple of months, most of them about Belle, but Angel’s Song was always the one I was going to sing. And dammit, I sang it well. I sang it so well, the bar’s owner offered me a regular spot every Sunday. He was even prepared to supplement me with a few shifts behind the bar. It was nothing too stressful, which sounded perfect for the time being. For the first time, I was actually feeling this new beginning for what it was: a chance to live my life for me and nobody else.

  For that, I thanked Belle.

  Follow Jack’s story in Beautiful Rose, out now at all major online retailors.

  Synopsis:

  Jack Falcon is a new man. Three years after he left his life behind in London, Jack finally feels settled. He’s surrounded with everything that is important to him; a great relationship with his brother, Alex, a bar he is about to re-open, and most importantly, he has control of his life and his dreams. He knows he can’t undo the wrongs of his past, but he sure as hell can determine his future. He has worked hard to move forward and nothing is going to undo that.

  Until he meets Rose.

  Rose Wilson has never felt normal. Since she was a child, Rose has felt nothing but the overwhelming desire to end her life and she has no idea why. We live to die, so what’s the point in living? Rose has pushed the limits in the past, and pushed people away. She can’t figure out why Jack and Alex are so insistent on helping her. Twelve years of therapy has failed to help her, so why should they be any different?

  Jack sees just how beautiful and important Rose is, but convincing her of that means putting his heart on the line, something he isn’t sure he can do. He can’t deny his feeling for Rose, but that doesn’t mean he has to act on them. And Jack isn’t the only one developing feelings for Rose.

  Before Rose, Jack vowed he would never let himself fall in love again.

  Before Rose, he had control.

  But sometimes, it’s losing control that makes you really see what’s really important in your life.

  Excerpt:

  Prologue - July 2010

  The lights dimmed down onto me and my guitar in the middle of the stage. The crowd grew silent as I began to play Angel’s Song. Four months on, and I still could barely get through it without tearing up. Every performance made me think of her. I closed my eyes and imagined she was there with me. I’d imagine her smile, and the way her face would light up when we were together. If I focused enough, I could see her. Those stunning green eyes, and that long dark hair. I was lucky to have had her in my life at all.

  “Everything that is beautiful is caught up in you,

  I’m so in to you baby, that this is what I wanna do,

  These feelings make me nervous, it’s something so new,

  But I’m into you darlin’ and I’m gonna see this through

  Everything that is beautiful is caught up in you,

  I was drawn to your eyes, so confident and sure,

  Your warmth touched me deeply, down to my core,

  When I saw your smile so beautiful, it was then that I knew,

  Your love left me wanting, everything that was you.

  I wish I’d have told you how much you meant to me,

  You’re forever in my heart, but now I need to set you free.

  I don’t want to live without you, I need you by my side,

  But now you’ve got you wings, Angel, I want you to fly.

  Everything that is beautiful is caught up in you,

  I’m so into you baby, that this is what I wanna do,

  These feelings make me nervous, something so new,

  But I’m into you darlin’ and I’m gonna see this through

  Everything that is beautiful is caught up in you,

  Oh Angel, everything that is beautiful is only you.”

  The crowd clapped enthusiastically as the song came to an end. I forced myself to smile, then waved before walking off the stage. There was only about forty people here tonight, but every time I sang I felt like I was alone, and singing to her.

  Nights were the hardest. Something about lying there in the complete darkness, alone, waiting…she was all I could think about. She consumed my dreams when I did manage to sleep, and my thoughts when I was awake. Every moment I spent thinking about her.

  Alex would tell me it had only been a few months, and that these things take time, and for the tiniest moment I’d feel better. Then I’d remember our last moments together. It was those memories that drove me to the edge. If only I’d gone after her, things would’ve turned out differently. If only I could change my last words to her. If only she hadn’t died hating me. But nothing was going to bring her back, and nothing in this world was going to change the way I felt. I was a shell. I walked around, a lifeless shell of my former self, my only outlet being my guitar.

  I worked, I slept and I drank. I’d never be the same again.

  UNDESCRIBABLE

  by

  I want to dedicate this book to my wonderful husband, Jason.

  He has supported me every step along the way to help make my dream come true. He was there through t
he hard days when I wanted to give up, and he believed not only in me but in this book, as well.

  Baby, I love you and I don’t know what I would do without you.

  Thank you for always encouraging me to keep going.

  And to our daughter, Shyley.

  Never give up on your dreams because you never know where they might take you.

  The choices are endless.

  I love you!

  Adjective

  Too unusual, extreme, or indefinite to be adequately described; indescribable

  Chapter One

  I toss back the rest of my Red Bull then throw it in the trash at the end of the bar before I order a beer. I have no idea why I am even at this bar. I spent the first half of my day in airports. I’ve been away in San Francisco on a case for the last three weeks, and it finally wraps up next week. I flew home to be with my family on my father’s birthday, and after we had dinner at my parent’s house this evening, Josh talked me into coming out with him.

  I lean up against the bar as I take my beer from the bartender. I bring the bottle to my lips as I spot a blonde at the other end sitting on a bar stool. I tip my beer to her and give her a small smile, before taking a drink. As I set the bottle down, she is already standing in front of me. I watch the overly perky blonde smile as she looks up in my eyes.

  “Do you come to Big Daddy’s often?” she asks, bringing the pink alcoholic drink up to her mouth. She parts her dark red lips and lets her tongue guide the straw between them, sucking on it seductively.

  “Yes, you?” I can feel my dick getting hard as I imagine her calling me daddy while she gives my cock the same attention she is giving the straw.

  “No.” She smiles sweetly and shakes her head, causing her light blonde curls to bounce. Then she gets a serious look on her face and leans in towards me. “Why don’t you show me around?” she asks as she runs a finger down my chest.

  I look down at her massive cleavage. That must have cost her several months of paychecks. “What is it you want to me to show you?” I ask, placing my hand on her hip and pulling her closer to me.

  She grinds into my hard cock. “I have something in mind,” she whispers, placing a hand over my bulging zipper.

  I look down to her hand and then back up to her eyes. “So do I.”

  She licks her red lips seductively. “Well, then show me.”

  I bring my beer to my lips and finish it off in one drink before tossing it into the trash. Taking her hand, I pull her away from the bar. Wondering where I can take her, I spot a dark booth over in the far corner. I place my hand on the small of her back, guiding her to it.

  “Someone might see us.” She looks around with a smile on her face, then straddles me and licks her lips. “I like that.”

  Her kiss is desperate as her lips attack mine, and her tongue forces its way into my mouth. I place my hand between her thighs, thankful for the easy access her short denim skirt allows, and pull her panties to the side. I slide a finger into her and her lips pull away from mine, releasing a moan and laying her head on my shoulder, grinding her hips on my hand.

  I notice a guy walking towards the booth. It’s so dark back in this corner that he probably can’t see us, but even if he can, I don’t care. I’m known for this kind of thing; fucking a girl that I don’t know somewhere in a corner. It’s nothing new.

  “I’ve wanted you for the longest time,” she says as she fumbles with my zipper. I don’t comment because, honestly, I have no idea who the fuck she is and could care less.

  “Wait. I have to get to my wallet.” There is no way I am fucking without a condom, so I always keep a stash in my wallet. She sits up on her knees to allow me some space then squeals as she is pulled from my lap.

  “What the fuck?” I ask, looking up at a bald biker wannabe. I look to my left and watch as the blonde chick storms off towards the exit, not even bothering to look back.

  Well, shit!

  Two hands slam down on top of the table in front of me. “Were you about to fuck my woman?” he growls.

  I look down at my hard dick bulging through my jeans. “Yes.” I lean back, placing my arms on the back of the booth. There’s no reason to lie; he knows what I was about to do. “Although,” I look up at him. “She never mentioned she had a boyfriend.”

  I should have asked. This isn’t the first time this has happened. I have always let my dick control my actions, but I’ve never met a woman with enough balls to fuck a man while her boyfriend was in the same room before. I have a feeling she isn’t very smart, but she is hot.

  The Mr. Clean look alike leans over the table. “You’re lying. You just didn’t give a fuck. Thought you would get some pussy, even if it didn’t belong to you.”

  “Look, it’s not my fault she wanted to have some fun, and didn’t inform me that you may want to watch.” I say with a smile on my face. “I would have let you.”

  I have never been one to hold my tongue. I’m pretty cocky, and my mouth has gotten me into more fights than I can count. Some people only get that way with alcohol, but I’ve only had one beer so far. I’ve never needed the help of the liquid courage to get my mouth running, and this guy is pissing me off. He just ruined any chance I had to fuck his hot ass girlfriend.

  He grabs a fist full of my shirt. I stand and bring my right arm up, then back down quickly, hitting his forearm. He lets go with a grunt, and I grab his shirt in both of my hands before he can get away. I sit and pull roughly on his shirt, slamming his chest and side of his face down onto the table, then pull him roughly towards me.

  “I was telling you the truth,” I growl, beyond pissed he would want to fight with me. “The bitch obviously doesn’t care about you, and all I wanted to do was fuck her.”

  “You son of a—”

  “Do you want me to kick your ass?” I question. “Because she isn’t worth fighting over. Just another bitch who won’t stay faithful. You think I’m the first? She didn’t even bother asking my name.” I’m pretty sure she knew who I was, though. “You want her? She’s yours.” I shove him, then lean back in the booth as he stands up. “Go fuck your slut and leave me the hell alone.”

  He stares at me with narrowed eyes, his jaw twitching and his chest heaving. I know that look; he wants to beat my ass, but that’s not going to happen. I get out from behind the booth and cross my arms over my chest as I straighten my back.

  “Something else you would like to say?” I ask with a smile on my face. He fists his hands down at his side a few times before he turns around to walk away. He spins back to face me and pulls his fist back. I duck as he takes a swing at me, then straighten and punch him in the stomach. He hunches over and I take advantage of the situation, grabbing the back of his neck and shoving his face into the table. He moans as he falls to the floor.

  “I suggest you get the fuck out of here before you piss me off,” I growl, leaning over him.

  “You fucking bastard!” he spits out as he tries to stand.

  “Is there a problem over here?” Josh, my best friend, asks as he comes up behind me.

  “No. Just a… misunderstanding,” I say watching the man fumble as he stands.

  “Stay the fuck away from Maggie.”

  “Who’s Maggie? Oh, your woman.” I nod. “Right. She’s all yours,” I say with a smile.

  He gives us one last look, then turns to walk away.

  “Let’s go get another drink,” Josh says with a grin.

  “What is so funny?” I ask.

  “We saw you with his girlfriend,” he laughs.

  I don’t find it funny. The bitch had to have known her boyfriend was here. Was she trying to get my ass kicked? Maybe she was hoping I’d kick the fuck out of her boyfriend. Either way, she wasn’t worth the fight. I would beat his ass for pulling on my shirt. But for her? Fuck, no!

  “Come on, man,” Josh says as he turns away from me. “I have someone to introduce you to.”

  “Let’s leave and take this party back to my place,” I s
ay, rolling my shoulders.

  “Already knew you were going to say that.” He smiles as we approach a group of people by the entrance. I spot some guy making out with Bridgette. She is one crazy bitch, but not too bad of a fuck. I catch sight of Josh as he stares at them in confusion.

  “What’s wrong?”

  He shakes his head. “Stupid fucker,” he mutters under his breath. I don’t quite understand what he means, but before I can think much about it, he has my arm draped over a woman. “Slade, this is Jessica.”

  “Well, hello there, Jessica.” I smile at her.

  “Nice to meet you, Slade,” she purrs like a kitten in heat, placing her hand on my chest.

  I look over at Josh. “Let’s have a few more beers and then head to my house,” I say, unwrapping my arm from Jessica.

  “May I come?” she asks, smiling softly while eyeing me up and down.

  This is why I don’t fight over any woman. There’s no need for it. There will always be another one willing to lie down and spread her legs. Jessica’s cute, but I’m still kind of pissed off about the bitch that had me knocking her boyfriend’s head into the table. As much as I fuck around, I can’t stand bitches who won’t be faithful. If you want to fuck someone different every night, then stay single. It’s not fucking rocket science.

  I turn to Jessica. I’m still horny as fuck, and I’m not going to let Mr. Clean keep me from getting a piece of ass tonight. I place a charming smile on my face and take a step towards her. “I assume you’re single?”

  She takes a deep breath as her eyes meet mine. “Of course.”

  I push her hair away from her ear as I lean down to whisper, “Then yes, I’ll have you coming all night.”