Indulge

by Liv Morris

  “What else is there, Holls?”

  “Well...” she looks up at me. “Slade gave me money to take you shopping. He wants to buy you your birthday outfit.”

  “What?” I bark as she flinches. Why in the hell would he want to buy my birthday outfit? I don’t need him buying me anything.

  “He just wants to buy you your outfit,” she defends him.

  “I got that. Keep the money and give it back to him. I don’t want him buying me an outfit.” I go to put my heels on.

  “Sam!” she says harshly, making me look back to her. “He just wants to do something nice. I could tell on the phone that his feelings were hurt that you hadn’t told him Friday was your birthday. Don’t make me give the money back to him. Take it, and buy yourself something with it.” She looks at me, daring me to argue.

  I sigh. I do feel bad for not telling him. I just wanted to avoid that conversation if at all possible. “Come on. I want something extra sexy.”

  She starts clapping her hands. “That was easier than I thought it would be.”

  “What are you talking about?” I question.

  “Nothing.”

  “I plan on drinking Friday night. A lot!” I put on my heels and grab my purse. I plan on knocking his socks off with one hell of an outfit.

  “Of course! You’re supposed to get drunk on your birthday,” she laughs as I lock up the front door.

  “How are you two getting along?” she questions as soon as we get in her car.

  “Good.” I want to keep this conversation short.

  “That’s good. No more fights?”

  “Nope.” I shake my head. “We get along really well when he’s not trying to tell me what I can and can’t do.” Which is the truth.

  “Are you going to tell me why you stayed away from him for two days and called in sick to work?”

  I can tell she’s mad that I haven’t already filled her in. I just didn’t think I should tell her anything. How can I confess something to her that I’m trying to deny to myself?

  I take a deep breath. “Holly, I didn’t want to tell you. He scared me was all.”

  “Like you were afraid he was going to hurt you?” she asks, shocked. “Slade would never lay a hand on you, no matter how mad he gets.”

  “That’s not it, Holls.” I’m getting frustrated. “He told me he loved me!”

  “What?” she gasps. “He actually said he loved you?”

  “Well not exactly in those words, but yes.” I clarify.

  “That is so sweet.”

  I watch her smile as she gives a little laugh.

  “Wait. Why would that make you scared of him?”

  “I couldn’t say it back,” I say, looking down at my hands. A silence settles in the car, making me wish I could delete this entire conversation.

  “I know you love him,” she says softly, finally breaking the silence while pulling into the mall.

  I look over at her somewhat nervous as she parks the car.

  “I know it, Sam.” She shuts off the engine and turns to face me. “You do love him.” She grabs her purse and exits the car, so I grab mine and follow after her. “Do you have an idea what kind of dress you want to get?” she asks as she opens the door for me to enter the mall.

  I smile, thanking God that conversation is over.

  Holly and I spend three hours at the mall. I’m pretty sure we try on every dress, but eventually we both find a dress, a purse to match and, of course, a new pair of high heels.

  My cell phone rings as we are getting back into her car.

  “Hello, baby.”

  “Hey, Angel. Are you busy right now?” He sounds stressed.

  “No, why?”

  “Well I just got a phone call and the truck is ready. I’m afraid I have to work late tonight, and by the time I get off they will be closed. Can you see if Holly can come get you at the house and take you to go get it? I’ve already paid for it. Just needs to be picked up.”

  “Yeah, I’m actually with her right now. We went shopping, but are just leaving the mall. I will have her swing me by there.” I look over to Holly as she nods her head in agreement.

  “Oh, you’re out shopping.” He sounds happy. He will be happy after he sees the dress he bought me.

  “Yep. I bought a new dress, purse and heels.” I smile to myself.

  “That’s great, Angel. I can’t wait to see them.” I bet you can’t.

  “What time will you get home tonight?”

  “It will be late, probably after ten. I was given a new case today, and he already has a court date scheduled for next week. He just fired his lawyer yesterday which means I have a shit ton of stuff to do so that I’m ready by next week.” I can almost hear him running is hands through his hair. “What I don’t finish, I will have to bring back home and work on because I don’t plan on staying here all fucking night.”

  “Should I stay at my place tonight so I won’t be in the way?”

  “No! Are you fucking serious? Why the fuck would I want you to go home?”

  I sigh. I didn’t mean to make him mad. “I’m sorry,” I say sympathetically. He must be having a terrible day. “It was just a suggestion. I thought maybe you needed some time alone to get some work done. You don’t have to jump me about it.” I try to whisper so Holly can’t hear me, but I know she can.

  “Look, I’m sorry, Angel. It’s….it’s just been a long day, okay? I’ll see you when I get home.” He hangs up, leaving me holding the phone to my ear, wishing I could make his day better.

  I turn to face Holly. “Dobbs Tires on Chippewa street.”

  She nods as she continues to look at the road. She is not going to ask any questions which I am very thankful for. My brain is going ninety miles an hour trying to come up with what I can do to cheer him up tonight. Maybe I will just go to bed early so he can get his work done. He needs some space to get stuff done, so I’ll just have to give him space without leaving the house.

  An hour later, I pull up to the Slade’s house. After I’d picked up Nadia, I ran to the grocery store to pick up a few things. I got more stuff to make him lemon bars again, and I also purchased everything to make lasagna. I turn on music and get busy making him dinner.

  Once I finish in the kitchen, I write him a letter.

  Baby,

  I made you more lemon bars, and there is also lasagna in the fridge along with mashed potatoes and garlic bread. Hope your evening is better than your afternoon was. xoxo Angel

  I turn the lights off and head to the bedroom.

  I lay down in his bed, naked and relaxed.

  I cooked him dinner, then took a long hot bubble bath until my entire body resembled a prune.

  When I plug my phone in to charge, I notice that it’s already 10:30 PM He’s still not home. I roll over and pull his pillow up under my arm. I love holding his pillow; it smells like him which makes me happy and helps me fall asleep. I doze off, hoping that his day got better.

  “Good night, Angel.” I hear Slade say, but I can’t open my eyes. They are too heavy.

  “What time is it?” I ask, barely above a whisper.

  “It’s a little past three.” I feel him pull my body close to his. I place my arm around him and cuddle up to his warm body.

  “Thanks for dinner. It was amazing,” he whispers in my hair.

  “You’re welcome. Good night, baby,” I say to his chest as I feel him kiss my head.

  Chapter Twenty

  I lean on the doorway to my bedroom as I watch Angel sleep. I feel so bad for how I reacted to her last night when she asked if I wanted her to go home. I was being selfish. Not having her here would have made my bad mood worse. I love coming home to her.

  I turn around and walk to the kitchen to grab my coffee. I’m going to need it. Today is going to be another very busy day. I would never tell Angel this, but the reason I’m so busy is because I have been playing hooky to spend time with her. It’s not that I would have done it any different, but I just don’t
want her to blame herself.

  I open the fridge and smile as I see my leftovers from the dinner she had made me. Even after I snapped at her, she still made me dinner because I was having a bad day. She deserves something special tonight.

  The day goes by pretty fast as I try to concentrate on work and keep my mind off of Angel. I’m in a meeting listening to my father talk about this new client he just took on, when a knock comes at the door.

  “Come in,” my dad answers.

  Rose is standing there, so I stand up and walk out of the room to talk with her. “What is it Rose?”

  “You have a phone call. A girl named Courtney.”

  I nod as I follow her back to her desk. I reach over her desk and take her phone.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, Slade. It’s Courtney. I just got your voice mail, but I’m not going to be able to make it. I’m swamped at work.”

  After finding her number on Angel’s phone, I’d left Courtney a message this morning on my way to work, telling her I’d pay for her a round trip ticket to come up and spend the weekend with Angel. I know she misses her and would love to see her on her birthday.

  “Okay, I just thought I would offer. I know she would love to see you.”

  “I want to come, but I’m off next weekend for the game. I can’t miss two weekends in a row. That would put me behind when I came back which would make me go crazy.” She laughs. “These bitches are pretty demanding.”

  She makes me laugh. “Yeah, I can see how that could drive a person crazy.”

  “Exactly! Well, I need to get back to work. I have a meeting in like fifteen minutes that I’m not even prepared for.” She laughs again. “The story of my life.”

  “Thanks for letting me know.”

  “Slade, I know she loves you. Just give her some time. I promise it will be worth it. And just so you know, I’m on your side, trying to help it along.” She hangs up.

  “Thanks, Rose.” I hand her back her phone with a huge smile on my face. Her best friend knows she loves me! That’s all I needed to hear.

  I walk into the house at around six, but most of the lights are off in the house. She can’t already be in bed, can she?

  “Angel?’ I call, walking throughout the hall way as I undo my tie.

  “In here,” I hear her call from the bathroom.

  I walk in to find her taking a bubble bath. She has her makeup done and her hair pulled up into a messy bun on top of her head.

  “You look like you’re in a better mood today,” she says as she gives me a small smile.

  “I am.” I lean down next to the bathtub. “How was your day?”

  “It was good. I just hung out here.” She lifts a leg, putting it on the side of the tub as she lathers up some shaving cream between her hands. “I did some laundry. Cleaned the house up a bit.” She looks over to me. “Made you some more cookies.”

  “You cleaned the house?” I thought it looked extra clean.

  “Yes. Why? Do you think it still looks dirty?” She gives me a surprised look.

  “No. it looks really clean,” I assure her. “But you didn’t have to do that.” I shake my head. “Laundry? What laundry did you do?” I will admit when it comes to laundry and cleaning, I’m kind of lazy. I do laundry about once a week. Cleaning, well that happens when I think the house is dirty which isn’t often.

  “I took the sheets off the bed and washed them. Then I did all the dirty clothes that were in your closet.” She gives me an angry look. “That equaled five loads.”

  I smile. “You don’t have to do all of that, Angel. Maybe I should get a housekeeper.” I never felt the need to have a housekeeper, until now. I don’t want Angel to have to spend her days cleaning the house.

  “You don’t need to hire anyone. I can clean it.”

  “I don’t want you here so you can do the laundry and clean, Angel.”

  “Stop,” she laughs. “It’s no big deal.”

  I stand up and take a few steps, coming to stop in front of the mirror while I unbutton my shirt. I throw my shirt on the floor then undo my pants. I stand there in my boxers, looking at my tiled floor shaking my head. I have got it so bad. What am I going to do? I want to marry this woman.

  “Slade...?” Angel is standing behind me, wrapped up in a towel.

  “Yes, Angel?” I walk up to her.

  “Are you okay? You seem like you’re somewhere else? Is it work?”

  I shake my head as I place my hands on her hips over the towel. “No, I’m great.” I smile. “I’m going to take a quick shower. Why don’t you go get dressed? I want to take you out this evening.” I kiss her forehead.

  “Where are we going?”

  “Just a drive.”

  She crunches her brows together but then nods.

  I take a fast shower then wrap the towel around my waist as I go to get dressed. Not only had she washed all my dirty clothes, but she has also ironed and hung them up. This woman is amazing. I can’t imagine why she is with me.

  I throw on my favorite pair of faded blue jeans that have a few small holes in them, with a red t-shirt and a pair of tennis shoes. “Ready to go, Angel!” I call from the kitchen as I pick up my truck keys. I grab a bottle of wine, along with two wine glasses and a corkscrew. I walk over to the hallway closet and grab a blanket, then walk out to the garage to put the stuff in the back seat.

  Where is she?

  I walk back in the house and find her sitting on the couch. She looks gorgeous as always. She has on a pair of short blue jean shorts with a black and white t-shirt and black heels, and her hair is still in that hot, messy bun on top of her head.

  I take a closer look at her face; she looks like she might be crying. I walk toward her and kneel down. “Angel?” I say softly. She doesn’t even blink. I lift my hand up, pushing a stray hair away from her face.

  Her body jerks and her eyes lock on mine. “Oh, sorry,” she breaths.

  “Are you okay?” I’m worried about her. Something is not right.

  She gives me a small smile. “I’m fine. Are you ready?” She stands up and walks away from me, leaving the living room.

  I push up off my knees to stand and follow after her, into the garage. She has her back to me, and I watch as she lifts her hands up to her face, wiping tears away. It breaks my heart knowing she is in pain and not knowing why. I’m not going to push her, though. Maybe what I have planned tonight will help her mood.

  I reach over to my left and hit the garage door opener as she walks around to the passenger side. She opens up the door and climbs inside before I can even get over to her. The entire drive to the hill she remains silent. I park and she gasps as she looks out the back window at the city.

  “It’s beautiful up here,” she says as she looks over the city in amazement.

  “Yeah. I used to come up here often when I was in high school.” She slides me a look, telling me she knows exactly why I came up here in high school. Little does she know I have no plan on fucking her here. I just want to lay under the stars with her.

  I climb out and go open her door for her. She gets out and walks to the back of the truck so she can look out over the city. “Let me help you.” I pull the tailgate down and lift her on top of it. I go back to the truck and pull out the things I brought and lay them next to her.

  “I thought we could have a glass of wine and just relax.” I lay the blanket out in the bed of the truck and then sit down on it. She snuggles up to me as soon as I sit down.

  I wrap my arms around her and hold her close to me. I feel her body lightly shake.

  “Angel, tell me what’s wrong. Did I do something to upset you?”

  “No.” She shakes her head gently. “You did nothing wrong. Thank you for bringing me here.”

  “Come on. Let’s lay down.”

  She lies down with me, putting her head on my chest as I rub her back. I look up at the dark sky and watch the stars shine, releasing a sigh. Could life get any better than this?

&nbs
p; Actually it could. She could be wearing my ring right now.

  She already owns my heart.

  I wish life was this easy. That I could just lay here on his chest forever; have him hold me close forever. I lean my head up to look at him. He has one hand behind his head, and the other is rubbing my back. His eyes are open, and he’s looking up at all the stars. I can’t help but feel special. He might have brought tons of girls up here, but I know he didn’t love them the way he loves me. I have no doubt he loves me. He just doesn’t love me the way I love him.

  “Slade,” I say softly.

  “Yes, Angel?” He lifts his head to look up at me.

  I feel a tear slide down my face. I can’t keep my mom out of my mind. My birthday is in two days, and she’s all I can think about. I’m lucky I’m even out here with him right now. I usually spend the entire week of my birthday bawling my eyes out.

  “Why are you crying?” He takes the hand behind his head and wipes the tear from my eye.

  “I’m so sorry.” I sit up as more tears fall down.

  He sits up in front of me. He pulls my hands away from my face, but I resist him. He has to force them down to where he holds them tightly against his chest. “Don’t apologize, Angel. Just talk to me,” he pleads.

  “I’m so sorry.” I can’t quit apologizing. “I know you’ve been busy with work. You don’t need to come home to a distraught girlfriend,” I sob.

  He lets go of my hands and pulls me to his chest. “Stop, Angel. You are my life, my main priority. Okay? Don’t worry about me, baby.” he rubs his hands down my back. “Tell me what’s wrong. I’ll fix it,” he promises.

  That’s the problem. He can’t fix it. The only person who could fix it doesn’t want to.

  I pull away from him. “It’s my mom,” I whisper as I look down at my legs. “I know Holly told you my birthday is Friday.” He doesn’t say anything. “The first time I called her was on my birthday. I couldn’t take it anymore.” I shake my head. “I was in such a deep depression, I didn’t even know it was my birthday.” I wipe the tears from my face as I continue to look at my legs. “Courtney showed up the next morning, crying on my doorstep. She thought something had happened to me. I had felt awful for being so careless and putting her through that. Courtney called me every day. I don’t know where I would be without her.”