Socks Without Matches

by BobA. Troutt

  *****

  Socks Without Matches

  Thirteen Pumpkins (A Spoof Depicting the Life of Some Pumpkins)

  Swiftly, the cool autumn wind breezed its way through the tiny community of Pumpkin Brunch. As the leaves stirred about the ground, the bite of winter filled the air. Pumpkin Brunch was a small community that sat back off the road a bit; it was surrounded by farmland. The rolls of hay sat in the field amongst the different colored leaves that had fallen from the trees.

  It was October and Halloween was just around the corner. Everyone was excited as they anticipated the parties, trick-or-treating and having fun. Right outside of town, on Coon Creek Road, lived Willie O’ Kupiainer; he was one of the best farmers around. Halloween was his favorite time of year. Every year, he grew a big patch of pumpkins. Not only did Willie grow pumpkins but he carved them and painted them as well. He was the best farmer for miles around. People from miles around came to get a pumpkin for their porch.

  The day before Halloween, each year, Willie had a huge pumpkin party for the children. He showered them with lots of treats and candy. They also played games, bobbed for apples and told ghost stories around a campfire. But, at the end of each party, the children were allowed to pick a pumpkin from the patch, carve or paint it and take it home with them to put on their porch. It was that time of year again as Willie stood at the edge of the patch admiring his bountiful harvest of gold. Yep, he said to himself. I have some nice pumpkins this year for the children. I believe it is the best crop I have ever had.

  Meanwhile, in the center of the patch sat thirteen pumpkins talking about what they hoped to be. There was Snaggletooth, Gummy, Bright Eyes, Cry Baby, Patch, Pie Face, Glowria, Cool Daddy, Grouchy, Jack, Jackie, Big Mike and Thomas

  “I want to be scary,” said Grouchy.

  “Me too,” replied Snaggletooth, Gummy, Patch, Pie Face, Jack, Cool Daddy and Big Mike.

  “Well, I want to be beautiful and eloquent,” said Bright Eyes, Jackie and Glowria.

  “Beautiful is out,” laughed Grouchy. “Who has ever heard of a beautiful Halloween pumpkin?”

  “That’s right,” replied Cool Daddy. “Like you say, man, beauty is out and ugly is in on Halloween.”

  “Phooey,” yelled Jackie. “Who cares what you boys think.”

  “Tell them, girl,” replied Bright Eyes.

  “Yeah, I’m with you,” chimed in Glowria. “We girls have to stick together.”

  “Now, now everybody,” spoke up Big Mike. “We all should be what we want to be and respect the wishes of others at the same time. What about you, Thomas? What would you like to be? You haven’t said anything.”

  “Well, Big Mike, there is something I would like to be but I’m afraid everyone will laugh,” replied Thomas.

  “Oh, come on!” screamed Grouchy. “What could be worse than being beautiful?”

  “Well,” replied Thomas. “I…I…would…da…like to…be a clown!”

  “A clown,” they all shouted before they started laughing.

  “What a joke,” yelled Grouchy.

  “You have to be kidding,” said Patch.

  Snaggletooth and Gummy just laughed and rolled about on the ground.

  “Get real, Thomas,” cried Grouchy.

  “Now, now, now everyone,” interrupted Big Mike. “If Thomas wants to be a clown it’s his choice, alright. Isn’t that right?” he asked as he rolled his eyes at them.

  Immediately, a hush fell about the patch.

  “Right,” said Big Mike.

  “Right,” replied the others as they snickered under their breaths.

  Tears filled Thomas’ eyes. Cry Baby handed him a leaf to dry his tears and tried to console him.

  “Don’t cry,” she said. “Don’t pay them any attention. You be whatever you want to be. Besides, their scary faces scare me. But, I’m not afraid of a clown. Clowns make me smile.”

  “Thanks, Cry Baby,” he replied. “At least you and big Mike are on my side.”

  “Psst…psst…psst,” came a whisper. “Cry baby, cry baby, now we have two cry babies.”

  “Hush up, Grouchy, you old mean thing,” cried out Thomas. “Leave us alone.”

  Big Mike quickly reached over and thumped Grouchy on top of his head and told him to hush. The thump sounded across the patch.

  Big Mike said, “No, no, no, Grouchy. There is no need for any teasing.”

  Slowly, Grouchy eased back to his row. Snaggletooth smiled and Gummy grinned.

  Cool Daddy yelled out, “What it is. What it is.”

  The thirteen pumpkins continued talking about their dreams of what they wanted to be. They knew Willie was the one who could make their dreams come true. However, Thomas was doubtful about becoming a clown. He knew Willie would never make a clown out of a pumpkin for Halloween. Besides, who ever heard of such? There was no way a clown pumpkin sitting on some child’s porch would be scary. As the night went by, in the distance, their voices could still be heard and blended in with the early morning air.

  “Good morning, pumpkins,” came a voice from the edge of the field. “I think it’s about time for some decorating,” said Willie.

  The faint whispers of the pumpkins could be heard coming from the field. They were so excited to see Willie.

  “Oh, boy,” exclaimed one pumpkin.

  “Take me,” cried out another.

  Willie looked across the patch. He wanted to choose the right ones.

  “Over here,” called out a pumpkin, “choose me.”

  “What about me!” hollered another.

  “Well, let me see,” Willie said as he ran his hand around a pumpkin. “You’re not bad.”

  Then he thumped a couple more before he reached over and picked up Grouchy.

  “This one will do just fine,” announced Willie.

  Carefully, Will placed Grouchy on the table he had set up in the field.

  “Now, what should you be,” he said as he eyed Grouchy.

  I want to be scary, thought Grouchy. I want to be the scariest of them all.

  Willie picked up his tools and began to work on Grouchy. In just a few minutes, and Grouchy had the scariest face of all.

  “You look cool, man,” stated Cool Daddy. “This guy is good; he did a great job on you.”

  Willie placed Grouchy back down in the patch. He stood back and admired his work. Grouchy was definitely ready for the big party.

  “Boo!” Grouchy screamed out to the others.

  The others booed back and waited for their turn.

  One by one, Willie worked his magic on each of them. He carved scary faces for Snaggletooth, Gummy, Patch, Pie Face, Jack, Big Mike and Cool Daddy. But for Bright Eyes, Cry Baby, Jackie and Glowria, he painted beautiful faces. He knew the little girls would love to take them home. When he got to Thomas, he stopped and paused a few minutes. He rubbed his hands about the pumpkin; the others nervously watched. They knew Thomas wanted to be a clown. However, they were not sure if Willie would make him a clown.

  “What do you think he’ll do?” whispered Grouchy.

  “I don’t know,” replied Patch.

  “Do you think he’ll…you know what I mean?” asked Snaggletooth.

  “I don’t know,” answered Gummy.

  “Surely not,” said Grouchy.

  “Shhh,” hushed Big Mike.

  Willie was still puzzled. He suddenly picked Thomas up and eyed him.

  “What should I do with you?” asked Willie. “You are a little different than the others. I just don’t know what to do with you.”

  Thomas shook in fear. He was afraid because he didn’t know what was going to happen to him. He held his breath, closed his eyes and prayed.

  “Well, I just don’t know about you,” said Willie. “I guess I will put you back in the patch.”

  Suddenly, a cry came out of the patch and startled Willie.

  “A clown!” screamed Big Mike.

  “W
ho said that? Who’s there?” inquired Willie.

  Willie looked about but saw nothing. All he could hear was the wind rattling the leaves on the pumpkin vines. He was about to put Thomas back in the patch when he realized what he could do.

  “That’s it; I will paint a clown face on him,” he said. “Yeah, that’s not a bad idea at all.”

  “Hooray,” whispered the other pumpkins as they patted Big Mike on the shoulder.

  However, old Grouchy was still set in his ways. He didn’t think any pumpkin should be a clown.

  “A clown,” mumbled Grouchy. “Who ever heard of such? Pumpkin pie, stick a finger in my eye.”

  After Willie finished with Thomas, he worked throughout the field until all the pumpkins were happy with their new faces. That night in the moonlit field, they all gathered around and told stories of ghosts, monsters and goblins. It was kind of a going away party for them all. They had all come a long way from just a seed and now it was time for them to go out and face the world. Unfortunately, there was one thing they all feared, the dreaded pumpkin busters. They were the children who took the pumpkins from the porches and busted them on the ground.

  “Pumpkin busting is such a cruel thing,” said Patch.

  “Yes, it is,” replied Glowria and Bright Eyes.

  “Shhh, just hearing that sends chills down my back,” said Cry Baby.

  “Well, they won’t get me!” shouted out Grouchy. “I’ll show them a thing or two.”

  Then, suddenly, they heard something in the field.

  “It’s them. It’s them,” cried out Cool Daddy. “It’s the pumpkin busters.”

  They all nervously looked but saw no one. Grouchy shook and trembled with fear. Cool Daddy looked at him and laughed.

  “Hey, man, I was just rattling a few leaves. I thought you were fearless,” teased Cool Daddy.

  “That wasn’t funny at all,” replied Grouchy while all the others were laughing.

  “I don’t want to be busted on the ground,” said Patch.

  “I want to grow old and wrinkled, shrink away to nothing or be made in to a pie,” said Pie Face.

  “Well, we’re all together here tonight,” said Big Mike. “And as long as I’m with you nothing is going to happen.”

  “Cock-a-doodle-do,” crowed the rooster as the sun began to rise.

  “Well, guys, I guess this is it. Today is the big party. Tonight we all will have different homes,” said Jack.

  “I hope a sweet little girl takes me home,” replied Jackie.

  “Me, too,” said the other girls.

  “Well, here they come,” said Grouchy. “I have never seen so many children.”

  There were children from all around, running, hollering, laughing and having a great time. They enjoyed all the games and of course all the treats and candy.

  “This is the greatest party ever,” said one child.

  “You bet,” exclaimed another.

  As the day went on, the pumpkins watched from the field and anticipated being selected by one of the children. As evening began to fall, the most important part of the party, pumpkin time, came. All the children followed Willie to the pumpkin patch and gathered around as he instructed them to go into the patch to choose their pumpkins. One by one, the pumpkins were selected until all of them were gone. Well, everyone except Thomas. He sat all alone; he quietly waited and hoped to be selected. He became sad when he looked around and realized he was the only one left. Maybe I shouldn’t have wanted to be a clown, he thought. What if no one wants a clown pumpkin? As his eyes filled with tears, he felt so alone and lost. Maybe Grouchy was right, he said to himself. Then all of a sudden, a little girl pushed through the crowd.

  “I want it,” she cried. “I love clowns.”

  A smile stretched across his painted face when she rushed over, picked him up and headed for the grand finale of the party, ghost stories around the campfire with their pumpkins. Oooooo stirred the wind making the ghost stories seem scarier. Shortly, everyone left for home. That night, the thirteen pumpkins sat proudly on the porch of their new home. The night soon passed and morning appeared; it was Halloween.

  That night, Halloween night, as the children were out trick-or-treating, Thomas overheard some of them talking about doing some pumpkin busting later that night. Thomas tried to hold his smile throughout the night but the fear of pumpkin busting scared him so much. He nervously watched each and every movement the children made. He didn’t know what to expect or what to look for. Finally, the night passed. Thomas sighed with relief; he had survived.

  Early the next morning, Betsy came outside, picked Thomas up, put him her bicycle basket and headed down the street to her grandmother’s house. On the way to Betsy’s grandmother, Thomas saw Big Mike busted on the ground. Thomas tried to call out to Big Mike. But, it was too late. Betsy had already turned the corner and was headed up her grandmother’s drive.

  “Hello, Granny,” said Betsy.

  “Well, hello, Betsy. How are you doing this morning?”

  “I’m fine,” she replied. “Mama said for me to bring the pumpkin over so you can make a pie.”

  “Thank you, Betsy,” she replied. “Do you like pumpkin pie?”

  “I sure do,” replied Betsy.

  What a sweet way to end a holiday, thought Thomas to himself, fresh baked pumpkin pie.