The Collected Stories of Diane Williams

by Diane Williams

  The Purpose

  This is better than what I had last year. People are happy for us. They are happy for both of us. I said that I am content to have very little. I could want more if other people would just tell me what I need.

  I cough. I do not like my spaghetti. I ask for an­other cola drink, could I have one more.

  I am told, however, “No!”

  Every now and then for me, cola can be cold and abundant, its scent not objectionable. It is not fragile or flat, or well chosen, well placed enough to serve the exact same purpose as she does for me.

  She was everything she said she would be.

  I am noticing an outcome when even an indescrib­able force can change a fact.

  To herself, she said, “I put too much of this on.”

  Even if not one interesting idea occurs to me, I also have something I could say which I would like to say about my opinion that my ideas give me some­thing to talk about.

  Could I have one more?

  I said, “Have one of these.”

  I was told, however, “Not on your life!”

  The Primary Intuition

  We have conspicuous yet, I think, respectable hair on our heads. Even so, my son and I could scare people. We have. We walk along. I see scarlet-fruited, big-leaf winter creeper, inkberries. At last, we arrive at the village. I knew what we would do, where I would accompany him.

  Pierre and Esther, our enemies, entered a shop. I had seen Esther, with her trailing spray, wearing her sautoir, open the door. The light spreading rapidly from the shop windows was not warm and inviting.

  We had the advantage of staying close to the building.

  By the time we left town, I had an invisible ring on my finger, as well as a strong brown cut, which has the appearance of an aeriel rootlet. I had watched my son drink from a swaying glass of juice, which is perfumed, forms in clusters, turns yellow, before it comes into sight.

  The Festival

  I put pillows under her head.

  I don’t just sit around, either, and why? I am surprised that they didn’t tell you about me, that I had a good upbringing!

  How much fun I had with my prick up inside of the great Diane Williams. She held the tip of the prick firmly. She is pleased to feel.

  I know that whatever I might decide to do, it could be what you might do!

  It’s just happening sooner! For more than for four years! Go on in, see Diane. I was told that all sorts of people are in her room. She opens her legs this way. You must avoid the decay at her stem’s end.

  Yet joy is so memorable! And, when this holi­day begins, it is twice as rewarding as pain is.

  The Builder

  I drank dark water, later on, afterward. I urinated, emitted gas. I was pleased, tired, had cramps. I could not stop the monster from causing its destruction. It had left no real damage after the cleanup. Out of de­votion? Because of fear? Or pride? I often have an outburst of my free will. I know what I will do if I have sexual intercourse, how I am going to hump and plan. I suspect many others need to plan your sexual intercourse.

  The Answer to the Question

  A coil of green, a part of me, or any additional gar­nishing, when assembled, can produce sufficient al­lure anyplace.

  The old idea that enticements should be ever more sophisticated is what prevents most seers—plumbers and electricians alike—from being optimistic.

  Keep on hand containers which you have filled compactly. Wrap these securely. A stream or a flow is a thing of the past.

  Their Privileges

  Do not say there is no information about us. He had one leg in the air. My head was down.

  Living can provide a sense that everything has al­ready happened.

  I have admired as many trees, as much shrubbery, as I could have. I am not lying. I have gone out of my way to say how grateful I am for shrubs, over and over. I know I spent enough time on that.

  I never joked around with anyone. I don’t think I have been very foolish.

  Then it is my turn to sit and to think about what I will get.

  The Suitor

  We are becoming persons who should, of course, be loved and honored. We become people who can do the impossible.

  Was anyone surprised to see us take on a different shape and character? In the name of everything which is sacred, I can predict your fate to ensure that you will never worry.

  I am your friend, if you do what I tell you to do. Don’t worry.

  Let’s pretend I have made mistakes. Let’s pretend that these sorts of mistakes are the ones I never should have made. I have no respect for you, for in­stance. I think I can just pick up anything of yours and look at it. I hear myself shout, “That’s the trouble!”

  The Strong Petals of Quiet

  I saw the duster after the duster had bloomed. The duster leads me where I should go, encourages me. The duster advises me to lie down on the lawn to rest, takes me to the sweeper’s shop on Gower Street, which is not in an uproar. The duster is my shepherd.

  It comes toward me, to guide me on the darken­ing plane. I could show you how if you could see me on this peninsula.

  I will never put the duster away from me.

  THE STUPEFACTION

  a novella

  One Place

  Same Place

  Everything

  For

  You

  Is it necessary to state a guarantee of my goodwill?

  If they come in, they go right back out again.

  —several of my neighbors

  1

  OH, I HOPE YOU LIKE

  EVERYTHING I SAY!

  Somewhat embarrassed, he would not admit that he wanted to do something with her right away that might surprise her or possibly cause her some pain.

  “I came directly here!” he said. His sad expression had vanished. He said, “Let’s go!”

  They did not take her little dog with them. It is dangerous to show her dog too much affection, she believes. This could cause harm.

  She had another one of her own ideas when she saw a pool of some forgotten water, when she saw some of the forsaken hills. She said, “This is the nicest part of the trip!”

  More of her own ideas occurred to her when they were up in the hills.

  If she is not much different than I am, she was hoping I would like everything she would say.

  He said, “We must hurry,” and she said, “I will.”

  By this time, it was twilight. They could barely see the ground or the form of a person doing something carefully and patiently. And this apparition is what she has so often feared. She said, “I think that that looks real.”

  “Can’t you hurry?” he said.

  2

  THIS HEAVENLY LIFE IS

  not FORBIDDEN

  She felt the need to urinate.

  They crossed the bridge on foot and they entered the woods.

  This heavenly life is not forbidden.

  “It is heavenly!” she said, and she wondered about his bobbing cock.

  Something else crawled away and hid under a log. Something else brushed his side. She had had to shoo them off.

  He begged her to let him keep on talking.

  He likes it when she is acting as if she is nice and friendly, when he is thinking he wants to be with nobody else.

  Amazingly, they did not lose their way in the woods. Yet neither of them had the ornament that wards off evil and that could bring either of them good luck.

  When she squatted down to urinate behind a tree, she listened to her noise. A trickle of her urine wet one of her shoes. She had a tissue with her so that she could wipe off her shoe that had been wetted.

  Once in the course of her entire lifetime, she almost saw where that urine of hers p
ours out from.

  But no, sorry, she never did actually exactly see.

  She was summoning more pleasure when she heard the squirrels.

  These squirrels are so fidgety. A few of these squirrels were becoming violently ill and would have very little cover when this was the case.

  What’s more—her dog, in her garden, far away—was chewing on a rosy green pear that he held between his paws, and not at all tenderly. The dog was gnawing, biting on the pear as if it were his own flesh and blood!

  In the evening, she put her hand down inside her blouse and there between her breasts there was a little something which she would set free.

  3

  IT WAS A JOYFUL TIME

  She pulled out the honest soul but did not examine it before she tossed it away.

  It was a joyful time.

  Soon she had a fire going in the fireplace.

  They have located this ideal cottage. This cottage has been created to augment, to ease an intimate relation, to provide long-lasting help, to reduce the possibility of sin. She will never be one of those people who is slain.

  He’s probably happy. He is probably happy.

  She’d like to tell him, Stay there where I put you.

  He was opening drawers—drawer after drawer.

  Clearly the cottage had been prepared for them, or so it seemed to them—firewood in a basket, a packet of matches, common white spring blossoms in a vase, soap, towels, food, clean bedding—everything!—even a freshly laundered blue terry-cloth robe was there! Before long, the cottage had lost its chill.

  She followed him into the kitchen and watched him open a cupboard door.

  A surprise clattered.

  4

  CAUTIOUSLY, SHE LOOKED AROUND

  Soon enough, there was the fragrance of cream—and she did not remain calm. “Stop your looking!” she said.

  She had prepared a full-fledged cocoa bread pudding.

  An insect drifted up before her eyes, then flew away. She briefly inspected the ether for the insect. Then she looked for a miracle of beauty high up in the air in the out-of-doors.

  He lit beeswax candles—dripless, clean-burning—which produced soft light.

  “That’s ours!” he said when she found a jar of red jam.

  She saw him steadily stride and when he interfered with the fire, orange sparks sprang up the way they often do.

  On the hearth was a pair of lady’s dancing slippers, of delicate dark velvet, covered by gold embroidery and braid and daisy patterns made of ivory-colored small pearls, as well as a pair of man-sized, wide-topped, funnel-shaped half boots of embroidered leather.

  Offering him his pudding, she said, “This is cozy!”

  Cautiously, she looked around.

  5

  DON’T START IMAGINING THINGS

  “Don’t start imagining things,” he said while he was slumped, eating his dessert, in the chair, his trousers lowered to his ankles.

  Contents of the drawers were scattered on the floor.

  He laughed and she did not ask for an explanation, such as, What amuses you? She never wants to cause him to be cross or to speak harshly to him.

  She was attempting to handle another one of her concerns when the telephone rang. She had forgotten about sexual pleasure. The ringing reminded her.

  He said, “Uh-oh!”

  She grabbed his arm and then she guided him through the cottage. He was using his knees to hold up his flapping trousers. She was behind him, her hands on either side of his waist. “In here,” she said powerfully, flinging the door open, pushing him forward.

  6

  SHE PUT THE LID OF

  THE TOILET IN PLACE

  “Don’t do that,” he said.

  After all, he had invited her to come with him because he had thought that he might have some fun.

  And what if the telephone rings and rings, or if there is a knocking at the door?

  The telephone is an obdurate potentiality.

  When he was stepping into the bathtub, she fretted, I should do something.

  Was she in fact supposed to lightly touch him in this circumstance?—or to grip him otherwise.

  She put the lid of the toilet in place, then she watched him from her perch on the toilet lid.

  She is just here to make herself happy.

  “I want to touch you,” she said.

  “Fine,” he said. “Do it wherever you want.”

  She put her finger on the tip of his penis and she pushed it down. She bent it.

  “Can I kiss you?” she asked.

  “Fine,” he answered.

  Then she petted the top of his head.

  “Do you want me to stop?” she asked.

  “No,” he said.

  He said no.

  7

  SHE STAYED ALERT BUT WAS

  ONLY FAINTLY INFORMED

  She kissed his waxy pate many times.

  “Oh,” he said, “where did you learn to do that?”

  She was sure she should not answer this question. This is the oldest, the most difficult question.

  Meanwhile, the night advanced.

  She stayed alert, but was only faintly informed of her total helplessness.

  She flinched whenever he spoke and had nothing to offer that might reveal the secret meaning of things—the truest things.

  Her interest in teasing him startled her also.

  “Oh, yes, I want to,” she said.

  8

  I BET NOBODY HAS EVER

  DONE THIS, HE SAID

  Earnestly, he kept on having these amorous sensations, although he was still afraid of being scolded.

  When he got up out of the tub of water, he predicted some horse sense and some wishful thinking.

  And since she knows in general what to do, she did not feel ill-tempered, even though her first efforts to please him usually did not work.

  When he gleefully played with her, this might not have been a dream. Although, presumably his life had occasioned a type of slave labor.

  “I bet nobody has ever done this!” he said.

  “I don’t know,” she said. “Just stick it in and I will think about it.”

  9

  SHE WAS SOILED—BUT WETTED?

  The accounts of how she lost her dignity vary. She does not know that she is vehemently inclined to be made happy at any cost.

  Force it on me, she is craving, and please forgive me for anything I could ever do that is wrong or that I have already done that is wrong and forgive me for what I am doing right now!

  She is slack-faced and reddened after that. She has a sense of a heartening achievement.

  “That’s it, my darling,” he said. “If I were your mother, I could not be prouder of you.”

  To her surprise, when she was not asleep, he reached out and insinuated his arm around her!

  Late that night, water is running. He must have been getting into that bathtub again. Oh, the nice bathroom.

  She was soiled—but wetted?

  He said her name sweetly, which caused her to feel fortunate.

  Perhaps this should have been brooded over—what her name is.

  Her eyes, ears, anus, legs, and other parts of her are wrongly formed.

  Her skin is extraworn, extraunfirm. Her character, her intellect and her health are relevant but not known now.

  He is gentle, nervy, but this is not all that he is.

  10

  HIS ROBE MIGHT APPEAR

  TO BE ONGOING

  He is terrific.

  His robe is something I have worn. It is deep dark blue—rude, but not handmade. If someone were to take his robe seriously, his robe might appear to be ongoing, as if this terry-cloth robe could stand up to the t
est of time, or to the open air.

  The question is, What more should this man and this woman do there in that house? All of the usual methods of sexual intercourse can be delightful, especially if done with care.

  Behold! The man is going to give the woman something!

  It is a ruby ring, which fits her, with a single ruby as shiny as mine is, which he discovered in a cake pan—and he gave it to her.

  Imagine! She can hear the splashing of the light inside of the gem.

  This ruby once was filled with blood.

  11

  SHE IS NICE, BUT SHE HAS AGED

  She is nice, but she has aged. Now she is pulling her blouse about her. But she is not sad.

  And, there is a storm outside—wind and rain.

  Dirt is blowing into the cottage from under the windowsills. The amount of dirt, the power of the wind, is a bit of a shock to me.

  A lot of age-old dust is turning itself into black water around here.

  12

  HE SAID, “LOOK OVER HERE!”

  He said, “Look over here! Come over here!”