by Amy Muscat
“Perfect! I've just gotta text Hayley and tell her that I won't be back in and to take all my cal– shit!”
“What?”
“Blake is coming round tonight and I completely forgot,” I tell her, frowning.
“Oh. Well, no worries. It's fine, we can do this another time,” she says worrying her bottom lip. I knew Peyton like I knew myself and even though she wouldn’t admit it; I know she was looking forward to having a night off.
I was actually looking forward to having Ivy.
Well, fuck that. I was having her, and if Blake didn’t like or couldn’t accept that; well he could go fuck himself.
“No, Pey, I'm still gonna have her; I'll just tell Blake that I've got Ivy and if doesn’t like it, then sod him. You and Keller need your night in, and I need my night in with my Munchkin.” I tell her seriously.
“Are you sure? It really–”
“Peyton!” I interrupt her. “It’s fine, I just told you I don’t mind and that I would love to have Ivy. Really! Don’t stress about it, girl.”
“Okay, if you're sure,” at the dirty look I throw her, she shuts up and grins at me. “Thank you, hon, it really means a lot to me, and I know Keller will appreciate it. What do you want to do, come to mine and get Ivy’s clothes? Or is there any left in the apartment?”
“Oh no, that’s fine. I need to go food shopping later anyway, so I'll just pick something up for her to wear there.”
“What? Lott's, no, it’s fine; I'll get Keller to drop a bag off to you later. Don’t go wasting any money when she doesn’t need anything.” She frowned at me in disapproval.
I waved her off and told her it was fine, she reluctantly agreed.
“Okay, thank you.”
“You're welcome, babe.”
AFTER PEYTON AND I had gone our separate ways, I walked back to work and went inside to tell Hayley that I wasn’t coming back to work. I went to my office and shut everything down properly and locked everything up.
On my way out, I tell Hayley that she could leave at four and put my calls through to the automated service.
“Thanks, Lottie!” I wave her thanks away and tell her it was fine.
Leaving the building, I walk over to my car and start driving to Grand Central Market. I turned down Madison Ave and then took a left, which took me to East and 45th Street, and then after sitting in traffic for ten minutes I turned onto Lexington Ave, and I make a right onto 42nd Street.
Trying to find parking in New York was a pain in the arse. But, after another ten minutes driving around; I finally found space to park.
I really should take the subway. New York City was great and all, but traffic was a nightmare! In London, generally, it wasn’t so bad; only around six/ seven o’clock did the traffic start. But, in the Big Apple, it was all fucking day.
AFTER PICKING UP everything from the market that I needed, well that and more; I rushed to grab Ivy from school.
When I pulled up outside the gates of Sunshine pre-k, I saw Ivy’s teacher standing at the doorway to her classroom and letting children out as she recognised their parents.
Shit, I was late!
Jumping out, I run past the gates and past all the mums and dads, up to Mrs. Adams who had already seen me and called out Ivy's name.
Ivy came out saying bye to her teacher and looked around, probably for Peyton, but when she saw me, a massive grin spreads across her beautiful face.
“Aunty Lottie!” She shouts in joy and starts running over to me; her Frozen lunch box swinging on her wrist.
Bending to catch her, I wrap my arms around her middle before squeezing the life out of her.
Placing my nose in her hair, I breathe in her smell; coco-butter and flowers, I didn’t know what flowers, but she just smelt like them. The smell was comforting somehow. I don’t know how a child’s smell could be comforting, but hers just was.
I missed this smell. I missed her cute voice, and I missed her adorable face.
“Hey Munchkin,” I say to her after I pull my face from her neck. “I've missed you lots and lots.”
“I miss you too, Aunty Lottie.” She says giving me a kiss on my cheek.
“Come on then Munchkin, we’ve got some shopping to do.”
WE SHOPPED IN H&M, and Ivy came out with four outfits, five nightdresses, a load of hair elastics and headbands, and a bundle of new underwear.
I had bought a new skirt, and a pretty lacy short dress. I also had bought a Michael Kors bag. I loved it; big, spacious, and navy blue. Then we went to Toytoise, and Ivy ended up with the new Elsa doll. All that little girl had to do was blink her big brown eyes and I was a goner; I'd give her anything she asked for, but her batting those long lashes at me– I'd give her the moon if she asked for it.
I hope Peyton doesn’t get mad at me.
Oh well, if she did get mad; then she got mad. I’ll have to deal with it.
“Okay, Munchkin, are you ready to go now?” I ask her, holding onto her right hand and holding the shopping bags in the other.
“Yep, I'm weady,” she replies back, smiling a happy smile up to me.
We walk back to the car, swinging ours joined hands up and down.
WHEN WE ARRIVED BACK to my flat, I texted Blake letting him know that I couldn’t do tonight as I was busy.
Hey Blake,
Something came up.
Rain check?
Sorry,
L x
After ten minutes of waiting and no reply from him, I placed my phone back down. I silently told myself not to look at my phone.
Looking up, I said to Ivy, “Right let’s get you bathed and then we can get dinner and veg out in front of the telly.”
“… THEN SHE TELLS ME to fuck off!”
I've been listening to Keller rant, moan and groan all day. He's been upset and angry.
All motherfucking day.
The man has drove me mad.
“And then I come in here, wanting some advice from a friend, and the dick is ignoring me!” He said punching me in the arm.
He had my attention now!
“Dude! What the fuck?” I say, rubbing the sting from my arm.
Bastard, that actually hurt.
“I'm trying to talk to you about something and you're not helping me in the slightest,” he told me, giving me a dirty look.
“Kel, like I know anything about relationships, dude, come on. Shit, I don’t know how a woman’s fucking psyche works.” I say to him, running a hand through my hair in exasperation. “They’re bipolar, I swear. Like one minute, they’re happy, and the next they are throwing really heavy objects at your head.” That had happened to me once before. I'd stupidly took a girl back to my place after a night out and when I woke up in the morning, I told her she had to go because I had places to be–and well, she sort of went bat-shit crazy; she started cursing me out, and then objects started flying when I didn’t react to her insults.
I probably deserved it but still…
He laughs but, in a serious voice he says, “I wouldn’t let a woman hear you call her bipolar. I think they’d rip your dick off.”
My cock flinched at the thought.
“Okay, all jokes aside, just go home and tell Peyton that you're sorry and that you didn’t mean it. I've seen the way you are, bud; you wrap her in a bubble. Especially lately.”
“What? No, I don’t– okay, maybe a little, but I'm only trying to take care of her. With what happened the other month, and her doctor telling her to take it easier than normal, because of the twins. I just want to make sure she’s fine and doesn’t need to do everything that she did when she was carrying Ivy. And for her to know she is not alone this time.” He runs both of his hands through his brown hair.
“Keller, look, the best advice I can give you is to just go home and talk to her. Tell her about all your fears and what you're anxious about. And ask her about hers. Hash it out. But, just remember Peyton is pregnant, and her hormones are running wild at the moment, so take it easy
on her.” Wow, okay– even I was impressed at what I said.
“Dude… that was actually really good advice.” He sounds shocked.
“I know.” I shrugged.
“You douche.” He grins. “So what’re you doing tonight? You gonna go hunt down some poor, unsuspecting bimbo to be your bed buddy, or you staying in tonight?”
Tonight…
I was meeting Lottie tonight.
“Nope, no bimbo tonight,” I tell him. Yes, I would be warming someone’s bed tonight, but Lottie was far from being a bimbo.
“Oh right. So, night in then?”
“Nope. I've got myself a hot date tonight.” I tell him.
“What? Who?” He asks confused.
“Lottie.”
There was silence for a minute, then, “Lottie, Lottie? Like Peyton’s best friend, Lottie?” He enquires, looking and sounding confused.
“Yes… that Lottie.” I tell him exasperated.
Jeez. Why was that so hard to believe?
His face turned confused and then… apprehensive?
Why apprehensive?
My silent question was answered when he said, “Blake… why Lottie? If you fuck this up and hurt her– which you probably will– Peyton’s gonna have my balls, man.”
What?
“Kel, it’s just a little harmless fun. That’s all. I mean I like the girl and all; she’s a hoot. But, we’re just having fun at the moment.” I said, shrugging my shoulders at him.
“Yeah, and what are you gonna do when one of you end up developing feelings for the other, and the other doesn’t reciprocate those feelings?”
Okay, admittedly, I understood what he was saying– but, it really wasn’t like that. Lottie and I knew where we stood.
“Well, if that happens, then it happens; I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.”
“Don’t be so blasé about things, Blake. I can guarantee you that it’s gonna happen.”
I was starting to get annoyed with all this now. “Keller.” I snap at him. “Just leave it now, please. We are two young, single adults and we’re just going out for dinner and having a couple of dates and then going back to hers and having some epic fucking sex. That’s it!”
Holding his hands up in front of himself, he says, “Okay, okay. Sorry, I'm just worried that this will go pear-shaped; you're both my friends and I don’t want neither of you to get hurt.” The honesty in his voice was humbling.
“Okay, thank you for your concern, but really– It's not something big right now. Let’s just see how it goes, yeah?”
“Okay, sorry, bud.”
“It’s fine, Kel.” I slap a hand on his shoulder and giving him a little shake.
Just as he opens his mouth to say something, my phone dings with a text message. Lifting my finger I indicated for him to wait a second, he nodded and went back to looking at a monitor, and when I pulled my phone from my pants pocket: I see that the text is from Lottie.
I smile. Maybe she had sent me a picture of her in just her underwear? You know a tease for what was to come tonight– that was the sort of thing my little Brit would do.
What I wasn’t expecting was for her to drop me when I looked at the text…
Hey Blake,
Something came up.
Rain check?
Sorry,
L x
What the fuck?
What had come up?
Another man’s dick? No Blake don’t think like that, I silently scold myself. Lottie wasn’t like that. Anyway, we weren’t exclusive or anything.
So why did I feel so pissed at the fact that she had just dropped me?
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Keller asks, snapping me out of me inner thoughts.
“Nothing, Lottie’s just cancelled our plans for tonight, that’s all.”
He raises his eyebrows once again. “Oh. Why? What did she say?”
“She said sorry, something came up,” I told him scowling down at my phone.
“What and you don’t believe her? Or is it that you wanted to be with her tonight?”
Jeez, the man was a nosey fuck.
“No, I believe her.” Well, maybe a little. “But, yeah; I was looking forward to tonight. Lottie is the best fuck I've ever had.” I say nonchalantly. But, I inwardly flinched at the way I just spoke about her.
“Dude.” Keller hisses. “One, don’t talk about Lottie like she’s one of your random bed warmers. Two– I don’t need to know that shit; she’s Peyton’s best friend. I don’t need to think about her like that, and nor should you.” He looked angry, his face scrunched up in disgust and his left hand was balled up into a fist.
“Shit, I know. I'm sorry– I shouldn’t have spoken about her like that– the woman’s got me all in a twist already. I do like her. I don’t think of her as just a piece of meat.” I say regretfully.
Blowing out a breath, he said not to worry about it. “All right, man, well I'm gonna head home and try and talk this shit out with Peyton. Hopefully, we can get Ivy asleep early and we can have some peace and quiet for ourselves.” He didn’t look too optimistic about it, but he gave me a fist bump and told me he’ll see me tomorrow.
“Yeah, okay bud, I'll see you in the morning,” I say, watching as he walked out from the room, heading home to his fiancé and kid.
An emotion runs through me– jealousy?
Was I jealous of Keller and Peyton’s relationship?
Maybe, I don’t know. I do know I was envious of their relationship; I wanted what they had, coming home to someone… a family every night. But, they had gone through a lot to get to where they are now.
Clearing my head of my stupid thoughts, I looked at the time and saw that it was just past 6 o’clock; my shift had finished.
Grabbing my leather jacket and keys from the desk, I walk out of the room and out into the hallway heading for the elevator.
“Blake!”
Hearing my name being shouted, I turn around and see my boss– Keller’s Dad– waving me over.
“Everything okay, sir?” Keller’s dad was cool. He wasn’t one of those bosses who was an arrogant ass or anything; actually he was a really nice, down to earth guy.
“Blake, I’ve told you to call me Rob,” he said smiling.
“Old habits and all that.” I shrug apoplectically at him. When I was in the army, it had been drilled into us that we call our superiors ‘sir’, ‘ma’am’, or by their title. And when you’ve done that for five years; it stays with you and is a hard habit to let die.
“That’s okay son, I understand. Anyway, I called you over because I wanted to know if you could do this job for me.”
“Yeah, of course. What’s the job?” I ask him.
“It's not going to start for another couple of weeks, but it's to be a bodyguard to a really important business man’s daughter. In a couple of weeks, he’s going to be doing a very important deal and it's going to cause an uproar. He wants to know that his daughter is safe until her guard is back. I didn’t want to ask Keller– you know his head is with Peyton all the time and I don’t want him to compromise anything because he can't get his thoughts away from her. So, I thought I'd ask you, as you're the best man for the job.”
Touched I say, “Yeah, that’s fine sir, thank you. But, can I ask what happened to her guard?”
“Oh yeah, his wife is due to have a baby in two weeks and before this whole thing came into play, he asked to have a month of paternity leave so he could help out. Then Richard called me this morning and asked if I could get anyone on the job; I told him I had the perfect man for him.” He smiles at me.
“Okay, cool. Thanks, Mr James. It’ll be good to do something different for a while.”
“Good, thanks, son,” he says raising his hand out to me; I shake it.
I respected this man impeccably; it was only a couple of months ago that his life changed. He found out he had a granddaughter. Then he finds out that it was his wife who had been a malicious bitch and had kept Keller and Peyton a
part. Then he finds out his wife was a psycho, with a stepson who was an even bigger psycho. Then his nutcase wife dies.
His life turned on its axis in such a small space of time that I'm still not sure that he has come to terms with what happened.
But he puts on a smile and gets on with life for his family.
I admired the man greatly.
“You're welcome, sir,” I say letting go of his hand, and taking a half step back.
“Okay, go on. I'll let you go, I don’t want to keep you from anything. I'll see you tomorrow son,” he gives me one last smile before walking off in the direction of his office.
I'VE BEEN SITTING ON the couch for the past hour flipping through the channels on the TV, bored out of my skull.
I had texted Lottie back when I had gotten home, asking if everything was okay, but had heard nothing back from her, and that fucked me off.
Why hasn’t she messaged me back yet? Was she doing it on purpose? Or was she just really busy, and she just didn’t have the time to look?
I checked my phone again, and it still didn’t say ‘read’.
Maybe I could go around there and check to see if she were okay?
No, I couldn’t do that– that would not be cool at all.
Well, maybe I could. Just to see if she was okay. If worst came to worst; I could just say that I was worried about her, what with what happened the other month.
Yeah, that sounds good, I think to myself as I get up and grab my keys from the coffee table.
STANDING OUTSIDE LOTTIE'S apartment door, I suddenly felt nervous.
What if she thought I was too clingy? I didn’t do clingy.
Fuck, I sound like a chick.
Oh, fuck it!
I gently knock on her door, wait for a minute, and when I hear no movement, I knock louder, banging a closed fist against the wood.