Getting There

by Lyn Denison

  When they’d stopped laughing, Em picked up the thread of her previous conversation. “But, in the meantime, what about that woman in black?”

  Kat shook her head. “You’re like a dog with a bone, tenacious to the end.”

  “So, who is she?” Em persisted. “Do you know her?”

  “Billy Carter’s mother. Her husband’s a sheep shearer.”

  “Husband? Wow! That’s a surprise. She definitely looks like a lesbian. How disappointing.”

  Kat rolled her eyes.

  “But,” Em held up her hand, “if her husband’s a sheep shearer, he’ll be away a lot. She must get lonely so she’s a prime candidate for a bit of no-strings-attached sex.”

  “Em, enough! That’s so—so gross!”

  Em chuckled. “It is, isn’t it? But seriously, Kat, you do need to get out. You can’t just hibernate in this awful place.” She looked around. “It’s depressing.”

  Kat sighed. “You’ll get no argument from me on that score. But I don’t have the emotional energy to look for someplace else. It’ll have to do till things get sorted out. Then I’ll rethink. On the plus side, as I said, it’s close to work and Meggie.”

  Em took a slow sip of her coffee. “There is another option.”

  “Isn’t an option just a smidgen behind a choice?” Kat asked in mock concern.

  Em frowned slightly. “Not always. Not in this instance anyway.”

  Kat threw her hands in the air in mock surrender. “Okay. I know I’m going to regret this—what is your idea of another of my so-called options?”

  “Do I detect an edge of sarcasm? Very unbecoming, love. Especially in one so young.”

  “Young? I’m the same age as you are.”

  “I know. But I was thinking, what about the house Ruth left you?”

  Kat stilled. “You know that subject’s taboo. I don’t want to talk about that. I think the long-term tenants have just moved out, and the real estate agents have suggested I put the place on the market, sell it as is. Apart from that, the house is older than this unit block.”

  “Remember years ago,” Em continued, undaunted, “before you met Shael, we were talking about hopes and aspirations. You said you wanted to buy an old house and renovate it. Don’t you see, Kat. This is your chance to do just that.”

  “Em—”

  “No, Kat. Hear me out. Eighteen months ago when Ruth left you the house—”

  “I never wanted anything from Ruth,” Kat put in quickly. It had been a shock to hear Ruth Dunleavy was dead. Beautiful, exciting, sensual, ruthless Ruth. “When Ruth and I, well— We made a clean break.” Kat gave a mirthless laugh. “What was it you were saying about bad choices? Well, Ruth was my first. First love. First just about everything. Oh, and not forgetting my first major bad choice, too,” she added bitterly.

  “She cared enough about you to leave you her house when she died,” Em said softly.

  Kat made no comment.

  “Even if it was guilty conscience for the way she treated you,” Em continued.

  “Ruth was never guilty about anything,” Kat sighed. “I’m sure she simply forgot to change her will after we broke up.”

  “I don’t think that’s something someone would forget. Ruth had years to change her will regarding you and forgetting holds no water. She left her unit to what was her name? Janelle? Wasn’t that her current partner? And there were any number of sweet young things in between you and her. No, Kat, Ruth meant you to have the house for whatever reasons. And it’s not as though she had any family to leave her property to. Janelle got her unit, the University got a trust for future scholarships, which was great of her, and she left you her house. Seems fair to me. And, dare I say it of Ruth, very honorable.”

  Kat remained silent.

  “I remember when you told me Ruth had left you the house you said you should sell it because it was the kind of old family home that deserved to have someone give it lots of much-needed TLC.”

  Kat nodded reluctantly. “That’s what I should have done. But I never seemed to have the time to get it all organized. And Shael certainly had no interest in it, apart from making snide remarks about it and Ruth. It was easier at the time to simply leave the tenants in the house and forget it existed.”

  “What about the rent you’ve collected?” Em asked.

  “Whatever was left after the rates and insurances were paid I gave to charity. It wasn’t much anyway because the tenants were old friends of Ruth’s, and she only collected a nominal rent.”

  “Okay,” Em went on, “so if you’re still set on selling the house, use the school holidays to fix the place up. I came home past there last week when I visited Mum and Dad and from what I saw, it certainly needs some cleaning up. And that way you get away from here, have a change of scene, which you’ll admit you need. You have to see you can’t spend your entire vacation sitting here alone. Nothing could be worse. Fixing the old house up will give you somewhere to live that isn’t this depressingly dingy flat, and the renovating will keep you busy. Then, if you do decide to sell the house, you’ll get a much better price for it.”

  “And all I need to do is move the house to another location. Have you thought about that? It’s too complicated, Em. Surely you don’t expect I’d be welcomed home?”

  “Kat, it was years ago. It’s old news. No one will care.”

  “And my parents? My sister?” Kat shook her head. “You know I haven’t spoken to Mum and Dad for over ten years. And I’ve only very occasionally spoken with Beth.”

  “Maybe it’s time to forgive and forget. Life’s short.”

  “I’m still the daughter with the distasteful lifestyle. Mum and Dad aren’t going to change their views on that issue. I don’t need to put myself through any of that. Not at the moment. Not on top of everything else.”

  “Fair enough. But you wouldn’t have to see them. It’s not like our roots are in a one-horse town. Even suburbia is part of the big city. You know, my mother tells me there are only two families from the old days left in our street.”

  “So you’re saying no one will remember the scandal that swept the township when Ruth and I got together and actual lesbians roamed the streets.”

  “It was hardly a scandal, Kat. It was a storm in a teacup. And it really wasn’t as though the whole town knew.”

  “Just a select few, do you reckon?” Kat put in.

  “Pretty much so.”

  “That wasn’t quite how my mother saw it.”

  Em pursed her lips. “Rubbish! It was only your own immediate family. Oh, and my parents who got it out of me as usual. But we didn’t tell anyone else. And it was very lucky for Ruth that everyone didn’t know. She could have lost her job. Come to that, Ruth Dunleavy could have lost her job on more than one occasion. It wasn’t just you she took advantage of.”

  “She didn’t take advantage of me. I knew what I was doing, and I was way above the age of consent.”

  “Not emotionally. Kat, you were eighteen, she was thirty-six. She was a predator.”

  “And I was in love with her,” Kat said softly, her memories flashing up a picture of Ruth the first time she saw her. In a heartbeat she slipped back sixteen years.

  It was her first week at University and she was hurrying from one class to another. She’d lost her way and was running late. Racing around a corner of the hallway she’d collided with a warm, firm body. They both landed on the floor in a tangle of arms, legs and books.

  When Kat struggled into a sitting position she was facing a stunningly attractive woman. Her jet black hair was pulled into a severe chignon that emphasized the clean lines of her classic features. But it was her eyes that held Kat mesmerized—liquid brown fringed by long dark lashes, and they were deep and full of a terrifying, forbidden promise.

  The brown eyes took time to slowly study Kat’s face, moved downwards over her breasts and her jean-clad legs before returning to Kat’s face and Kat blushed. Those knowing, incredible eyes didn’t miss Kat’s disc
omfort as she shifted self-consciously. What would this incredibly attractive woman see when she looked at Kat, she wondered. Ordinary brown hair and eyes and an unremarkable face.

  “I’m really sorry,” she got out, wanting the floor to open up and swallow her.

  The woman stood up with one lithe movement, and her tailored skirt moved upwards to show a tantalizing expanse of smooth, silk-clad thigh. She held out her hand and pulled Kat to her feet.

  Kat wanted to lean closer, but she made herself step backwards and she apologized again.

  The woman laughed, slowly smoothed her skirt and her fitted jacket. “It takes two to tango,” she said, her voice husky and to Kat’s ears, incredibly sexy. “It was as much my fault. No harm done, except to our dignities.”

  Kat stood staring and then hurriedly retrieved the woman’s books before gathering her own. The woman glanced at the title of the book on top of Kat’s pile and raised her eyebrows slightly before giving Kat that small intimate smile, the smile Kat later realized was Ruth’s trademark. She moved, and Kat stepped aside to give her space. Even so Kat felt the brush of the smooth fabric of her jacket on her bare arm. Her skin tingled as she flushed again.

  “I’ll see you around, hmmm?” said the woman, her husky tone a terrifying caress.

  Even her embarrassment couldn’t prevent Kat from watching the woman as she walked down the hallway. There was a whole story in the way she moved, held herself, and a wave of envy joined the rush of raging hormones. How Kat wished she had that self-confidence, that grace, that exciting aura of sensual promise.

  Of course the woman was a little older than Kat, she told herself placatingly, so she wouldn’t be floundering around in an agony of finding her way in what was the totally new and unchartered environment of the University. Although Kat loved the old buildings, the green lawns, the wonderful old trees and the stream of students, she knew she’d led a relatively sheltered life. The world was opening up to her, and it was only natural that she would be a little off center until she was used to all these changes.

  And her attraction to the woman was all part of the newness of her growing suspicion that she wasn’t the same as her best friend, Em, and the rest of the young women she knew. She couldn’t bring herself to tell even Em that she thought she was a lesbian because she wasn’t really sure herself.

  Maybe it was simply a case of her not having met the right man, she thought as she hurried along to her class, only to pause again as the woman’s arresting face swam in her mind. She swallowed as her mouth went dry and a spiral of awareness clutched at the pit of her stomach and traveled south. Hormones, she told herself as she picked up her pace. She’d only been talking to Em about hormones the evening before. Of course, Em had been talking about men, specifically a guy in her first class, and Kat was pretty sure anything remotely like lesbianism hadn’t crossed Em’s mind. But it had crossed Kat’s mind.

  She lay awake thinking and worrying about it, wondering why she had no feelings, no spark of awareness with Em. Em was her best friend and always had been and Kat loved her dearly. If she was going to be attracted to a girl, why not Em, with her voluptuous figure, her unruly dark curls, her dancing blue eyes and her wonderful smile.

  Maybe she wasn’t a lesbian after all. When the right guy came along her life would fall into place.

  As Kat slid quietly into her seat for her lecture, trying to be invisible, she had a sinking feeling after her encounter in the hallway that the right man just wasn’t going to do it for her. And she made herself concentrate on her tutor. That turned out to be well-nigh impossible and after a while she gave up, her thoughts rushing back to the intriguing woman in the hallway.

  Of course, hurrying into her next lecture, taking a seat next to Em, only to find that same stunning woman from her encounter in the hallway at the front of the class and introducing herself as Professor Ruth Dunleavy, had done absolutely nothing to restore Kat’s equilibrium.

  The woman was a professor? Kat’s heart sank as she cringed with embarrassment. She’d been so way off the mark thinking the attractive woman was a slightly older student. She’d even allowed herself a delicious moment thinking she might even seek the woman out, get to know her. In her daydream the two had discovered they were both lesbians. She hadn’t quite nutted out how this miraculous discovery was to come about, but the end result had had her feeling very hot and she’d squirmed in her seat.

  Seeing the woman at the podium in front of their class, half glasses on her beautiful nose as she studied her notes, shot Kat’s fantasies down in a kaleidoscope of heartbreaking color. As Kat sat there feeling almost catatonic, Ruth Dunleavy had removed her glasses and run her gaze over her newest students. Her fine dark brows had arched slightly when her gaze settled on Kat. Kat blushed to the roots of her hair as the corners of Ruth’s lips lifted in that same secret, knowing smile.

  After class Ruth sought Kat out and within a few short weeks they were lovers. Could it really have been sixteen years ago? It seemed like yesterday.

  “Earth to Kat!”

  Em’s voice filtered into Kat’s mind bringing Kat back to the present.

  “Good grief, Kat. It’s so frustrating when you do that.”

  “Do what?”

  “Go off into your own personal wild blue yonder. You’re always doing that.”

  “No I’m not.”

  “You know you totally freaked me out the first time you did it. We were five years old, and I thought you’d opted to fly up to heaven.”

  Kat laughed. “And I reckon that was the first time I saw Em the Drama Queen.”

  Em laughed too. “The Dreamer and the Drama Queen. What a pair. So, what about my idea? About the house?”

  “I don’t know, Em. I don’t think I’m up to it.”

  “Rubbish! You can do anything. You always have been able to. Heaven only knows why you won’t let yourself believe in yourself.”

  Kat shook her head.

  “And if you need ready money I can give you a loan.”

  “It’s not the money, Em. But thanks anyway.”

  “So, we’ve more than established it’s not the money, but you’re still existing here in this dingy dive.” Em gave Kat’s flat a dismissive wave of her hand. “Why, one may ask?” When Kat didn’t comment Em sighed loudly. “I have a theory about all this.” She waved her hand again. “All I’ll say is you have nothing to punish yourself for.”

  “Punish myself for? What on earth are you talking about now, Em?”

  Em held Kat’s gaze and said nothing.

  Kat stood up, stepped to the sink, her back to her friend. After a moment she turned back to face her. “Do you really think I’m doing that, Em? Punishing myself?” She looked around the dark, tiny flat. Could Em be right? Kat knew she felt guilty. Shael was an expert at making Kat feel bad. If Kat had been more attentive this wouldn’t have happened. If Kat hadn’t been so wrapped up in her job she wouldn’t have been too tired to go out and party, and Shael wouldn’t have needed to look elsewhere. And the list went on.

  Had she carried that particular baggage with her? Surely not. She knew none of it was true. It was ridiculous, wasn’t it? She glanced back at Em and sighed. “I suspect you might be right,” she said softly.

  Hadn’t Kat hated the flat the moment the real estate agent had shown it to her? And she could have found something better further afield. Yet she’d settled on this awful place, telling herself it was so convenient.

  So what was she going to do about it? As Em said, there was Ruth’s house. Although she hadn’t said anything to Em, she’d been thinking about the house since she finished school last week. The tenants had left two weeks ago, and the agent had been pressing her to re-let it or put it on the market. The agent had said he had half a dozen or more interested parties. Yet Kat had held back, unwilling to make a decision.

  “You know if I do this super-woman-renovating thing I’ll be tied up twenty-four-seven, and you’ll have to come visit me?” Kat heard herself
saying before she was aware she’d even decided. “That will be an extra forty-five minute drive.”

  A huge smile lit Em’s face. “It will be so worth it, love. You’ll see.”

  Two days later Kat’s car was packed to the roofline, and she was heading for the freeway that would take her to the other side of the city.

  Chapter Two

  Kat struggled to get the last piece of old carpet into the rubbish skip. She stood back and stretched her back before trudging up the stairs to the house. She paused in the doorway of the living room and admired the timber floor she’d uncovered. It was amazing. When the renovation was finished and the wonderful old wood was sanded and polished it would be magnificent.

  In fact, the whole place was magnificent and oozing potential. Kat had climbed the steps that first afternoon, put the key in the lock and opened the door to a new chapter of her life. Even then the house had had a welcoming feel, as though it had been waiting for her. And more than once in the few days she’d been here it had occurred to her that perhaps this choice, or as Em put it, this particular direction at the fork in the highway of her life might be the right one for a change.

  Back when Kat was with Ruth she’d never been inside this house because it had always been rented out. Ruth had an elegant unit near the University with views over the Brisbane River. The unit was straight out of a Beautiful Living magazine, all state-of-the-art appliances Ruth rarely used, and expensive, aesthetic furniture.

  They’d been together for months before they realized they were from the same Brisbane suburb. In fact, their families lived only half a dozen streets apart. Ruth’s parents had died a few years earlier and on their one visit back together, a visit with disastrous results, they’d only driven past the house where Ruth had grown up. Ruth had told Kat friends of hers were renting the place. Until the solicitors had contacted Kat after Ruth died she hadn’t known that Ruth still owned the place.

  It was a large house, considering Ruth had been an only child and having the verandas built in had made it even bigger. Ruth had explained that her parents had both been academics and each had needed a large study. Hence the built-in verandas. My humble beginnings, Ruth had laughingly called it, and Kat could remember wondering how this ordinary family home could have produced such a beautiful, exotic creature.