Just Be Her
Page 6
After a few minutes he cleared his throat. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”
“Uncomfortable?” I gave him a questioning look.
“When I, uh, touched your back just then.” He rubbed the back of his neck and avoided eye contact. I’d been groped, grabbed, smacked, picked up, and shoved while working at the Cottonmouth, and this guy was apologizing for lightly touching the middle of my back?
“Oh! You didn’t, I promise. It’s just hot and I’m a little sweaty.”
He didn’t look like he believed me. “I understand this is going to be difficult—keeping up appearances.” He kept his voice low, even though there was no one around as we walked across the grass. “Perhaps we can sit down and figure out some boundaries? Things that will help us appear to be a real couple but that won’t make you uncomfortable.”
He wanted to have a meeting about PDA? “If you think that will help.” I smiled. “But really, I think it will get easier as we get to know each other. We only just met.” To punctuate my point, I wrapped my arm around his loosely.
He stiffened for a moment, then relaxed and matched his steps to mine.
We had a casual lunch on the front porch—and by “casual” I mean a table was set up with linen and silverware and a waiter served us. Afterward, Oren had to get back to work, and I had the afternoon to myself. As much as I wanted to explore the house and grounds more, I ended up locking myself in my room for fear of bumping into someone else I could potentially say the wrong thing to and out myself.
When I was sure I wouldn’t be spotted in the window, I lit a cigarette and took a nice long drag, my shoulders relaxing for the first time all day.
…
T: Hey, on a scale of 1–10 how bad would it be if I were to . . . say . . . fuck the stable master?
A: What??? Toni, do NOT sleep with any of the staff.
T: I don’t think you understand how hot he is. Tattoos, Alex! And a southern twang. He called me ma’am and looked at me lasciviously. He has the word “master” in his title.
A: What is wrong with you?
T: So many things! Like SO. many. things.
A: Toni, please, for the love of god, do not sleep with any of the staff. In fact, don’t sleep with anyone at all.
T: Even my fiancé?
A: MY fiancé! And I don’t want to go back to a situation where he expects marital relations. This is supposed to be a business transaction, remember?
T: Relax. There’s no way in hell I’m getting in bed with tall, rich, and uptight.
A: Oh no. Is he horrible in person? Does he have bad breath? Is he mean to his staff? Shit! What did I get myself into?
T: LOL! Would you relax? He’s just not my type. Also, did you just curse? *gasp!
A: You must be rubbing off on me . . .
T: Excellent! Now, since I’m not allowed to get any, you need to get some for both of us. Also, people will notice you’re not me if you don’t get laid at least 3 times per week, so spread ’em!
A: Have you no shame?
T: Hahahaha! No.
A: Seriously, Toni, keep it in your pants.
T: I will if you don’t!
Six
Alex
Working at a bar was damn hard. Running a business had all kinds of stresses and frustrations, massive pressures and responsibilities, but bar work was physical, fast-paced, and exhausting.
Toni had given me a rundown of how the bar functioned, where things were, what the most commonly ordered drinks were, but I was positive I didn’t do any of it anywhere near as proficiently as she did. I fumbled through, giving everyone the excuse I wasn’t feeling well while still managing to get in everyone’s way.
At the end of my first night, I collapsed into bed without brushing my teeth, barely managing to remove my clothes before crawling under the covers and passing out.
I woke up the next day sore all over. After a long shower and a stretch, I headed out for a walk, hoping movement would ease my aching muscles. I picked up some groceries and a box of green tea at a store a few blocks away. It was not the loose-leaf I was used to, but it would do. I needed my green tea in the morning.
As I climbed the stairs back up to Toni’s place, I kicked myself for not checking her kitchen more thoroughly. I was starving and planning to make myself a grilled chicken salad but had no idea if she had a frying pan or even a cutting board.
When I reached the top of the stairs, Andre’s door swung open. He froze on the spot once he spotted me.
“Hey, Andre.” I gave him a smile and a friendly wave.
“Uh, hey, Toni. Have you not been to bed yet? You don’t look strung out.” He leaned down to look into my eyes.
“What?” I leaned away. “No, I woke up an hour ago. Just went to the store.” I lifted the bag as proof and resisted the urge to lean in again. He must’ve just showered. He smelled amazing—like green apple and some woodsy, manly scent I couldn’t place.
He crossed his big arms over his chest and frowned. He was in jeans, boots, and a tank, with a checked shirt left unbuttoned over the top. The sleeves were cut off, making his arms look bigger, the biceps bulging.
I mentally rolled my eyes at myself as I turned toward the door. His biceps were bulging? I’d never thought about someone like that ever. Toni’s texts were getting to me. Maybe she was rubbing off more than I thought.
I let myself into the apartment, then screamed and jumped back, colliding with the solid wall of muscle that was Andre. I’d left the balcony doors open overnight, hoping to coax a breeze in, and hadn’t closed them before leaving. A giant black bird had let itself in while I was gone.
Andre wrapped his hands around my upper arms, twisted me out of the way, and stormed inside without hesitation.
I peeked in after him, but he turned to me, confused, his arms held out at his sides. “What the fuck, Toni?”
Slowly, I edged into the room and pointed at the harbinger of death standing in the middle of the apartment as if it owned the place. “You don’t see the . . . the bird?”
“The raven?” He gestured at it. It looked between us, cocked its head, and squawked.
“Yes! He must’ve let himself in through the open balcony.” I remained plastered to the wall by the door with my hand pressed to my chest, trying to breathe. I hated birds.
The raven squawked again and half opened its wings, shifting from foot to foot as if it was getting ready to charge.
“Yeah, I’d say he let himself in.” Andre bugged his eyes out at me. “Since that’s what you taught him to do.”
Shit! Did Toni have a pet raven? Why would she not mention this? Why hadn’t I seen it yet? Where was its cage?
“Right . . .” I nodded and swallowed, keeping the bird and the man in sight as I internally panicked. What the hell was I supposed to do?
“Toni, why are you scared of Ken?”
“Ken?” Why was he changing the topic?
“Kennedy.” He pointed at the death-bird again.
“Oh! I’m not scared.” I laughed, not even remotely managing to sound not scared. “I’m just . . . uh . . . this is a game we play.”
Kennedy squawked again, flapping his wings. Traitor.
Andre watched me for a few silent moments. Then he thudded over to the door, closed it, and turned to face me, his giant arms once again crossed. “OK. Who the fuck are you?”
“What?” Another nervous laugh escaped. I was trying to peel myself away from the wall, go to the damn bird so I could prove I knew what this was about, but my feet just wouldn’t move. “What do you mean? I’m . . . me.”
He huffed and started ticking things off on his fingers. “You disappeared without explanation, you cleaned and got groceries, you were acting like it was your first damn day at work yesterday, you didn’t get wasted or bring some loser up here to screw, you haven’t had a cigarette or called anyone a ‘cunt’ for a solid twenty-four hours, so who are you? Because you sure as fuck are not Antoinette Mathers.”
I hated myself for it, but my breathing got even shallower as my throat tightened, my eyes stinging with unshed tears. I was either about to have a panic attack or break down crying. Neither option was ideal—they both left me vulnerable to attack from bird or man.
My eyes kept flicking between the raven, which was now almost constantly squawking and flapping its black wings, and Andre, who was scowling and waiting for an answer I couldn’t give. I was frozen, both physically and mentally—completely incapable of doing or saying anything as I suffocated under the stress.
A single, infuriating tear slid down my cheek.
Andre’s features softened, and he sighed.
Abandoning his post by the door, he moved over to the raven and crouched down, speaking softly and holding out his wrist. After a few minutes, Kennedy stopped screeching and flapped up onto Andre’s arm, his black claws digging into his skin. Andre walked the bird out to the balcony and set it down on the railing, then came back inside and closed the balcony doors.
Despite the oppressive heat, I felt like I could breathe easier. I closed my eyes and slid down the wall. One problem solved, the other walked back to my side.
His boots came to a stop inches from my feet.
I couldn’t seem to raise my head to look at him. I could run an entire property, manage hundreds of people, have all the confidence in the world in a business meeting, but I had no idea what to say to this man who was not supposed to know Toni well enough to realize I wasn’t her.
He crouched in front of me, his hands hanging loosely between his knees. “I just wanna know that my friend is OK,” he pleaded in a much calmer tone, “and who the hell you are, because . . .”
I lifted my head to look at him. “It’s uncanny, right?”
“Unbelievable.” He shook his head as his eyes took in every inch of my face.
“She said you didn’t know her well enough to pick up on it.”
“Of course she did.” He chuckled. “Toni has a massive chip on her shoulder, and she doesn’t like to get too close to anyone or admit she gives a shit about anything, but she’s hardworking and smart and kind . . . when she wants to be. I’ve seen her nurse a damn feral street cat back to health after it got into a fight with another cat and kick a guy in the nuts for hassling a girl at the bar in the same day.”
We both chuckled. I could see her doing that.
“My point is, she may like to keep her walls up, but I know she’d have my back if I needed her to. I’m just trying to have hers now.” He shrugged.
I leaned my head back against the wall and took a deep breath. The panic was subsiding, even though it shouldn’t have been. I was busted on my second day. I had no idea what Andre would do next, but there was something inherently calming about him. Maybe that was why Toni, a self-confessed antisocial loner, had stuck with him for so many years.
“Are you in love with her?” It seemed like the logical conclusion.
He laughed lightly, his eyes sparkling with genuine amusement, before dragging his hand down his face. “Nah. I care about her, but not like that.”
I wasn’t sure I believed him, but I had no doubt he was worried about her.
“Now, you gonna answer any of my questions,” he pressed, “or just keep asking them?”
“Fine.” I sighed and stretched my legs out in front of me. He sat down, one leg bent on the floor, the other propped up.
“My name is Alex.” I’d insisted on the full Alexandria my whole life, and I had no idea why I was suddenly introducing myself with the nickname Toni had slapped me with.
“Nice to meet you, Alex.” He gave me a genuine smile I couldn’t help returning.
“You too. I don’t really know where to start.” I rubbed my palms down the front of my shorts.
“The beginning?”
I gave him a withering look and sighed. “Honestly, Toni and I only just met a couple of days ago. In the alleyway behind the bar.”
“Oh, you’re the mystery person she was yelling at.”
“One and the same. Obviously we noticed our . . . similarities.” I figured I had nothing to lose, so I told him the whole story. If he lost it and blew the plan up, we’d just switch back; Oren didn’t need to know. It had been a fun day at least. Not quite the month I was hoping for but better than nothing.
He didn’t interrupt except to ask a few clarifying questions. He just sat next to me and listened to the whole crazy tale. I kept it as short as possible, but I didn’t hold anything back, not even my embarrassing panic attack.
“I can’t believe she agreed to this.” He shook his head in bewilderment.
“Honestly, neither can I. I think she mostly did it for the money.”
“Are you sure that’s the only reason?” He narrowed his eyes. “You’re not threatening her or . . . something?”
“No,” I snapped. “I would never do that. I was always going to do my best to convince her, but I’m not a monster.”
He held his hands up. “Hey, I don’t know you. You may have my friend’s face, but you could be a psychopath for all I know.”
I shrugged. “Well, I don’t know what I can say to convince you otherwise. What are you going to do?”
“What do you mean?”
“Are you going to tell? Ruin this for us?”
“For you, you mean?”
I crossed my arms. “Yes, it was my idea, and yes, I had to convince her, but make no mistake—Toni is going to benefit from this too. I think we both know she doesn’t do anything she doesn’t want to. So are you going to ruin this for us or not?”
He studied me, those dark eyes feeling like they were peeling back layer after layer, digging right down to my soul.
Finally, he pushed himself to his feet. “I don’t know yet. I need to speak to Toni.”
I got up too. “Fair enough. I’ll get my phone.”
I pulled it off the charger by the bed, but by the time I turned to face him, he already had his held up to his ear. I rolled my eyes and went to gather the groceries that had ended up on the floor in the hallway, then deposited the food in the fridge.
“No answer,” he announced.
“Yeah, she’s probably busy pretending to be me.”
“Yeah, well, until I speak to her and confirm that, I can’t promise anything.”
“What’s with the hostility?” I leaned back on the counter. He’d listened, been kind to me a moment ago. “I told you the whole sordid truth. It’s not my fault she’s not picking up.”
“I just can’t take your word for it. I’m sorry.” His harsh tone softened again, but his expression remained determined. “I need to speak with her myself and make sure she’s OK. And if I don’t in the next few hours, I’m calling the police. In the meantime, don’t go anywhere.” He pointed one big finger at me, the rest still wrapped around his phone.
I huffed. “I’m not going anywhere. I have a shift in a few hours.”
“No. Toni has a shift. And you better hope she backs your story up, because all you have otherwise is a date with the boys in blue.”
He stormed out, the glass rattling dangerously in the door. I ran my hands through my hair and texted Toni.
There was nothing I could do other than show Andre I was trustworthy. That meant staying in that oven of an apartment and making sure Toni returned his call.
I went to the balcony doors but flinched back when I spotted Kennedy still perched on the railing, watching me with his beady eyes. With a sigh, I stripped down to my underwear and focused on making lunch, texting and trying to call Toni myself.
This was worse than waiting to hear if I’d gotten into Harvard Business School. Which I did, so I had to have faith this would work out in my favor too.
Toni finally replied as I finished eating lunch, but then I had to wait with bated breath for the result of her conversati
on with Andre. I hated being out of the loop.
They kept me waiting for another whole hour, but at least Kennedy flew off with a loud screech, and I was able to open the balcony doors and let in some air. I lay on the bed and fanned myself. Just as I was thinking I should put some clothes on for when the police came to drag me away, my phone went off. I groaned and sat up slowly, reaching for it, but then someone pounded on the door.
I walked halfway to the door and paused.
“Alex?” Andre’s booming voice called from the other side. “I spoke to Toni.”
His tone wasn’t giving anything away. I moved closer to the door. “And?”
“And I don’t like it, but it’s her damn life, so who am I to tell her what to do with it?”
That wasn’t exactly reassuring. He could still just throw me out of his bar and his apartment if he wanted to.
“What does that mean?” I pressed my hand against the glass.
“Means you can stay.” His sigh was audible even through the door. “I’ll keep your secret.”
I gasped, grinning like an idiot, my heart soaring with excitement.
I wrenched the door open and launched myself at the man standing on the other side—the man agreeing to give me my month of freedom. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I practically shouted in his ear, “Thank you! Oh my god, thank you so much!”
His hands went to my back, pulling me closer as he chuckled. “You’re welcome.” His breath stirred the hair at the side of my face.
He pressed his cheek to mine, and I reflexively rubbed against his stubble, the prickles sending a warm tickling sensation down my neck and chest.