by T. L Smith
“Where’s home, Saskia?”
“Not here,” I say, looking around. “Sorry, that was rude.”
Wyatt shrugs his shoulders. “I think you’re entitled to that. Will you tell me why you jumped from a moving car, though?”
My hands wipe over the front of the skirt I’m wearing. I’m so tired. Oh, so tired. I want to sleep again, for quite some time if I can.
“The woman in the car...” I pause, thinking about what to say, “... I don’t particularly like. And I didn’t want to go where she was taking me.”
He nods his head like he understands, but no one can. It’s impossible to know how much you hate someone just because they decide you’re too pretty. “I’ve wanted to jump from a few cars due to women, but I’ve never actually done it.” He laughs, and despite the situation, I actually laugh with him.
“Yeah, well, this one was next level crazy. Be thankful you’ll never meet her.” Looking around, I turn back to him. “You wouldn’t happen to know how close the nearest airport is, would you?”
“Yes. Are you flying somewhere?”
My hand rubs my arm. I’m nervous to tell anyone where I’m going. Eventually, they might find out. But for some reason, no matter how much I want to try, I know I can’t keep hidden, but I’m going to sure try. I shouldn’t need to, my debt was paid in full. So why should I have to? I know I have to get away from here. This is the worst place for me to be. “I want to fly up north, I need to get home.”
Wyatt turns, walking to the counter picking up his cell. He types in a few things then turns back to me. “Look, I wouldn’t usually offer this. But my parents have a private jet, and I can get you on it tonight.”
I’m shocked by his kindness. I haven’t experienced kindness like this for what feels like ages. Everything’s so draining. This life, my life, has become debilitating. I don’t even know how I got to this place in time, how I haven’t shattered into a million tiny pieces by now. This wasn’t where I was meant to be at this stage of my life. I was meant to be someone, love someone, enjoying my life. I need someone to love me, not play me like a fiddle.
Ryken Lord loves me.
Of this, I have no doubt.
But he’s also draining me. Even if I do love him, I can’t do it anymore. I need to live, and with him, I do the exact opposite of that. I barely survive.
“As kind as you are, I can’t accept your offer. That would be—”
“Look, feel free to say no. I get it. But it sounds like you need an escape and not one where people can find you. Let me do this for you?”
“Are you sure? I can pay you. When I get home.” I can, well, at least I hope I can. I did have money, and I do own my own business. So I hope that maybe it’s still going.
“I trust you, Saskia. Please let me help.”
I give him a simple nod. He grabs his keys and walks out the door.
Taking help from someone is new to me. The only person I’ve accepted any help from was Livia and her family because they are my family. So this just feels new. I can’t work out if it’s good or bad. But either way, I want to get home, and I can see this is a safe and convenient way to do it. I want to see my mother, and I want to sleep in my own bed again.
But most of all, I want to be away from this place as fast as I can. And if this is the way to do it, then that’s what I’ll do.
Confession #10
“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.”
Boy-oh-boy, have I sinned.
If she only knew I was the reason.
The reason she hates her so much.
I’m the cause of it all.
They’ll hate me, of this I have no doubt.
But that’s okay because no one wins a war by having people love them.
I don’t give a shit about redemption, or anything the priest wants to throw at me right now. So I leave quickly.
Absolution? What’s that? Exoneration for something I’ve done? Well, I say... who gives a flying fuck about your absolution.
Chapter Fourteen
Ryken
“Amy had Saskia,” says Quinn, as he shows me a video from two days ago which was taken from the front of my hotel. I haven’t left the hospital after Livia’s operation, and have been staying by her side ever since. Her parents can’t keep me away. I’m the reason she’s in this mess. I had to see her through, to make sure she’s okay. I have come to a decision that we’re not right for each other. But I can’t do it to her now, not with the way she is.
We have to wait for an outcome, and she asked for me the moment she woke. Her parents weren’t happy about that, but there’s nothing they can do about it either. We’ve been together too long. We’re a couple.
Sitting up and taking the cell from his hand, I watch her long blonde hair as she walks out followed by Amy. They seem to talk before two other men get out of the car and walk toward her. I go to turn the video off because I don’t want to see what happens next.
Quinn places a hand over his cell to stop me. “Keep watching.”
I reluctantly do and a smile tugs at my lips. She kicks one of the guys straight between the legs, and just as the other guy grabs her she bites his hand, but then she freezes. Her eyes fall back to the building, and I know what she’s hearing. She’s hearing the gunshots. They put her in the car, and that’s where the video ends.
“Is this all you know?” I ask.
He nods his head and looks to the bed where Livia’s sleeping. “The men have started to arrive.”
I stand up and crack my neck. Sitting all day isn’t good for me. Walking over to Livia, I kiss her forehead before I walk out the door with Quinn following behind me.
“How is she?”
I look back in the room where she still lays there asleep.
Have I ruined her life because I couldn’t pick her? I hope not.
“She’s healing. They’re going to assess her in a few days.”
He doesn’t say anything at first, he’s careful with his words. “But she’ll be able to walk again?”
I nod my head. “Yes, the doctor said so.”
He scratches his head then his cell dings. His eyebrows scrunch together, and he pulls up his phone again. “So, she’s tougher then we gave her credit for?”
“What?” I ask, confused.
He hands me his cell. This time images of the black car that she was forced into. And then something happens. The door opens, and Barbie goes with it. Rolling straight out into oncoming traffic.
“What the fuck,” I yell.
Quinn’s lips turn up in a smile. “Fucking badass that one.” He laughs. I don’t find it funny. Because I don’t know what happened, the only thing I’m thankful for is that she’s not with them anymore. At least, that’s what I hope.
“I’ll be by tonight.”
He nods, walking away.
Walking back into the room, Livia’s awake and watching me. “You don’t want to be here, do you?”
I step to her side and touch her hand. “Of course, I do.”
“Where is she?” she asks, not moving. Her eyes wide. Her hair on top of her head in one of those messy buns.
“Who?”
Livia rolls her eyes at me. “Don’t play games with me, Ryken. Where is Saskia?”
“I don’t know.”
She pulls her hand back. “You really don’t know? Or are you lying? Which you seem to do a lot of with me lately.”
“I really don’t know.”
Livia looks past me then her eyes fall back to me. “I want you to choose me over her. Why is that so hard to do?”
“I don’t want to talk about this now, Livia, you’re healing.”
Her hand scrunches at her side. “Don’t pity me, I deserve more than that. I want to know why?”
Sitting down in the seat next to her bed, my hands lay on my legs as they bounce up and down.
How do you tell someone the real reason without shattering them into a million pieces?
“Because I lo
ve her.” Looking back up to her, I think she knows it. I’ve told Livia before that I love them both. She just didn’t expect me to repeat it.
“Do you love her more than me?” I go to tell her no, but the lie sticks to my teeth. “I want the truth... I need the truth.”
“We should talk about this when you’re better. There’s no need to do it now.”
A single tear slips free from her eye. “Don’t bullshit me, Ryken. I fucking love you so much it got me shot. Don’t bullshit me. At. All. Tell me the truth.”
My leg bounces because I want to tell her, but not right now. Except she wants to know. So I don’t know what to do.
“Ryken...” she repeats my name.
“I love her more than I love you.”
She turns her head away from me. “I want you to leave, Ryken. I want you to leave and never come back.”
“Livia...” I say, touching her hand that’s scrunched on the bed next to her. She pulls it away quickly.
“No, I knew it. I always knew it. From that first moment. I tried not to see it, I did my best. But you can’t unsee it once you do. It burns in your brain. The guy you love... loving someone more than he loves you. Now please, kindly... fuck the hell off.”
I do as she says, stopping at the door. She looks away from me as her parents come up behind me. They don’t say anything, and I walk away from her, paying all her bills on the way out, so she has nothing to worry about. But that won’t make her hurt any less, I know that. That gesture is nothing more than to make me feel better about it all. Livia’s bound to be hurting, and I caused that by listening to other people.
Now if I can just find Saskia, make sure she’s all right. And if I can find her then maybe some things in this life may start being okay. Instead of forced and unpleasant.
TWENTY MEN LINE THE walls outside the Arena waiting for us to go in. Quinn stands next to me, and the minute we open the door the music is loud, and a fight is taking place. No one looks to us when we walk in. We’ve already killed the front doormen, and soon Antonio will be next.
“Amy’s sitting next to him. There’s no sign of Saskia,” Quinn states.
I sigh in relief, my gun in my waistband as we walk up to Antonio. He doesn’t notice us straight away, his eyes are on the fight waiting to see who his victor will be. She notices us first. Amy’s eyes go full and she attempts to stand, but Quinn’s behind her and pushes her back onto the couch stopping her from going anywhere. Antonio looks around, but his men are currently occupied with guns to their heads by my men.
“You come into my house and bring guns?” he asks incredulously while standing on the spot. Amy stays where she is on the couch, but she’s looking down.
I ignore him and look down at her. “Care to explain why you touched her again, Amy?”
Antonio looks down at her, then back to me. “She didn’t.”
I raise the gun to his head, the music goes off, and people are quiet. “Tell him the truth, Amy.”
She looks to him for help, but there isn’t anything he can do. He knows it, she just doesn’t seem to see it yet.
“What did you do?”
She sucks her bottom lip in. “You said she was mine. I wanted her back.”
His head snaps to her. You can feel the anger emanating off of him. But I don’t give a fuck, I don’t care if it upsets him. It’s about me tonight.
“She isn’t yours,” I sneer at her.
She looks at me pursing her lips. “She isn’t yours, either. She was running from you.”
My gun moves from Antonio’s head to her head. “She jumped from your car. Where is she now?”
Amy looks directly at the gun like it will magically disappear. It won’t. “I don’t know.”
I lick my bottom lip trying to hold the anger at bay. “Wrong answer. I don’t like that response, Amy. Try again. Last chance to tell me where she is.”
She shakes her head again, telling me no. All it takes is one click of the gun to blow her brains out. Antonio’s once white jacket is now plastered with red. He screams at me and goes to move toward me. I pull back turning the gun on him. Pointing to the couch, I tell him to sit. Then I remove the list from my pocket. The one my father gave me.
“You fucking bastard...”
I tsk at him. “You should have kept her on a tighter leash, Antonio.”
He growls at me as he looks down to where a now lifeless Amy is lying, blood pooling around her head. I look around the room. His men are anxious, but are staying completely still. My men have guns to their heads, after all. I lean in close, so I’m almost whispering to his ear, “Want to see how I can make you a one-man operation?”
He growls at me again, and I stand up tall tapping the gun to my head.
“Leslie...” His name leaves my lips, but I don’t know exactly who he is. I look around the room, a man nods his head telling me who I’m talking to. “Antonio kept records of you. Did you know this?” He stands tall not being fazed by my words. Antonio watches me, and I look down to him. “My father was a resourceful man, Antonio. I would think you, of all people, should know this.” Antonio’s eyes go wide, he knows my father’s evil side. He’d seen it on more than one occasion.
“Fuck you,” Antonio spits. He’s an intelligent man, he couldn’t have gotten where he is today otherwise. My father was better, though.
“So, back to Leslie. I have it written here that your mother, the one that went missing before you joined...” I pause and continue, “Well, how would you feel if it was Antonio who killed her because he knew what a good fighter you are.” He doesn’t seem fazed. Antonio, on the other hand, is looking from Leslie to me.
“You’re lying,” Leslie says.
I raise an eyebrow at him. “Antonio keeps your mother’s ring, it’s in his top drawer. The one that was on her hand when she died.”
Antonio stands and looks at Leslie. “He’s lying,” he spits.
I shoo him away with my hand. “How about you go and look.” I wave for my man to let him past. Leslie seems unsure at first, then walks to Antonio’s room. We all wait for him to come back, and when he does his mother’s ring is in his hand.
He looks shocked, he can’t believe it. His eyes are wide as he looks up to Antonio. “You killed her? My mother?” Leslie questions the ring in his hand.
“No. No way. You know I wouldn’t have done that,” Antonio’s voice wavers. He knows he just lost his best fighter. Someone he fooled to bring into his grasp.
“Do I?” Leslie’s wide eyes turn angry, and he leaps over the table separating us to get to Antonio. When his hands touch around his neck, I lift the gun and shoot Leslie, too. Antonio’s once white jacket is even redder.
“He shouldn’t have touched her,” I say, smiling to Antonio. Leslie was one of the men with Amy, he was the one that threw Saskia into the car. I can’t have that. Looking around, I notice the next one. The one that Barbie bit on the hand. He shakes his head, knowing what’s about to happen.
“I would like to tell you how he, Antonio, raped your wife before he killed her. But that would be a waste of time considering I’m going to kill you.” My man behind him pushes the shocked man forward until he almost falls to the ground. He catches himself, righting himself, just in time for me to put a bullet between his eyes.
Turning back to Antonio, I smile. “Now the men that came to my room, one got away. I want you all to find him and bring him to me. And if you choose not to... you’ll end up like your friends. Oh, and one last thing... anyone that chooses to stay by Antonio’s side, you can stay in the room and we can discuss your possibilities.”
Nearly everyone leaves, but two remain. Two of Antonio’s closest men.
Quinn steps up behind them and snaps their necks—they drop at Antonio’s feet.
Loyal to the death.
Loyal to the end.
Chapter Fifteen
Saskia
Wyatt was nothing but a gentleman, I forgot what it’s like to have one of them around. S
tiles was much the same. A true gentleman. Wyatt didn’t stay, even when we landed in his parents’ jet. It felt weird, and another man being added to my crazy life was not something I wanted to do, even if it was just as a friend. My only friend is Robert, and I haven’t seen him for months. Even before I was collected, he was away traveling, while I stayed at home building my business.
Robert’s home now, though, so when the taxi pulls up out front of his house, and I see his car, I breathe a huge sigh of relief. I have no money on me, so I run to the front and am thankful when he opens it.
“I need twenty dollars.”
Robert pulls his wallet out. “No ‘hi, how are you, Robert. Oh, I’ve missed you, Robert. Oh, did you know I was missing, Robert?’” he says as he hands me the money, his eyes firmly focused on me.
“Hi, Robert... I’m back, Robert. I’ve missed you, Robert. But now I have to pay the cab, Robert.” I laugh as I run back paying the cab driver, then back up to Robert who’s waiting for me at his front door. I follow him to his bedroom, where he shuts the door and sits down on the bed waiting for me to speak.
“How was your trip?”
He has anger written on his face. “Don’t even start with that. You disappeared. I came home early because I couldn’t reach you.” I should have told him when I was leaving. But I’m not used to having someone miss me. Or even care where I am. “Your mom was even worried. Can you believe that?”
I don’t believe it. “She wouldn’t have even noticed I was gone.”
Robert raises his eyebrows at me. “When was the last time you saw her?”
I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t know, maybe a year ago now. Since before I bought the business.”
“Well, she’s been clean for six months.”
My mouth hangs open. No way. “You’re lying. Surely if she were clean, she would have contacted me?” I say to him. Surely that’s what a mother does, right?
“She did, but your employee said you had gone away for a long holiday.”