by T. L Smith
That would be Ryken covering his tracks.
“Is my shop still open?”
His forehead crinkles, dropping it to the side watching me. “How do you not know if your shop is open or not? Where have you been, Saskia?”
My hands run down the skirt I’m wearing that isn’t mine. The shirt I have on is still Ryken’s. “I don’t know if it is,” I reply honestly.
“Saskia, where have you been?”
I shrug my shoulders. “Away.” My hands touch the scar on my leg, then the scar on my wrists.
“What the fuck.” He pulls my wrist then looks at it. Then touches the still very red scar on my leg. “Tell me right now what the fuck has happened or I’m calling the police.”
“I was collected.”
He drops my hand, stands and walks to his desk where his cell is laying. “Don’t bullshit me. Now tell me the truth, or I’ll call.” He dials some numbers, and before he hits call, I tell him again.
“I was collected. Ryken Lord is the king of the underworld. He shot someone for me, and his payment wasn’t enough. So the payment ultimately was me, and Ryken made restitution in the form of me.”
His cell drops from his hand. “You’re serious?” he asks, sitting back down next to me.
“I am.”
“I’m going to kill that handsome fucking prick.”
I shake my head. “He got me out of it. Livia was pregnant, or so we thought. They actually wanted her until they heard of me. He wasn’t going to let them collect her if she was pregnant.”
“She’s a whore.” His words don’t even make me smile. Because I miss Livia’s company, I really do. And I get why she’s the way she is, I deserve that.
“How did you get here?”
I bite my nail and look up at him. “I may have jumped from a moving car. Then, I was rescued by a doctor who also happened to have a private jet, and he flew me here.”
“Now you are pulling my leg.” He laughs, standing, then turns back to me.
“I wish it was all a dream.”
“He came back, Ryken came back?” he asks.
I nod my head. He was here when Ryken left. When I tried hard to make it work with Stiles, which failed. Not because of him, though, because of me.
“How was that?”
I shrug my shoulders. “It was hard, and easy at the same time.” His arms wrap around me, and he pulls me to him. This thing with Ryken and me, I don’t even understand. It’s hard for me to get my head around what I feel.
How can you love someone, and not be with them?
How can you love someone and choose someone else?
It hurts my heart.
Ryken hurts my heart.
The doorbell rings and Robert lets go of me and walks out the room. When he walks back in Cane is behind him. The look on his face is sympathetic.
How the fuck did Cane know I was here?
“I have the keys to your shop. Let me take you home?”
Robert looks to Cane then to me. “You can stay here if you want to.”
That isn’t something I want to do, I think as I pull myself up into a standing position. Pulling him in for one last cuddle before I walk out with Cane, I say, “Thanks, but I just want to go home.”
Cane’s car is out front and Robert waves as we leave.
“It’s still running? The shop, I mean?” I ask him while he drives.
He doesn’t look at me as we turn the corner and head to my place. “It is. Ryken instructed we pay your staff extra for opening and closing out of our wages.”
“I’ll pay it back. Every cent.”
Cane waves his hand at me then looks back to the road. “You don’t have to do that. The club brings in more than enough money to support us.”
We come to a stop, and I see it—it’s a place I created from an empty shell. I’ve missed it, I really, really missed it here. He gets out, and I follow him inside. Cane finds the light switch quickly like he’s been here before. Maybe he’s the one in charge of looking after it for Ryken. It’s the only thing Ryken will get a thank you out of me for, for not killing this dream of mine even if he killed everything else inside of me. Apart from the parts of me that still want him, crave him, that’s all that seems to be left.
“He’ll know you’re here soon. It’s just a matter of time before he comes.”
“Don’t tell him yet, please?”
Cane offers me a small smile.
“Thank you, Cane. You really didn’t have to do this.”
He shrugs his shoulders. “It’s the least I can do.” I lean in and give him a hug, and he hugs me back, his face buried in my hair before I pull away and open the door for him to leave. He passes me my keys as he leaves, and I lock the door and go upstairs. It’s still the same, my clothes from the night before I left are still on the floor, and my bed’s a mess of crumpled sheets.
Pulling my clothes off, I climb into my bed and pull the sheets over my head, and that’s where I stay for the next few days.
MY NAME’S BEING CALLED, and it’s not by one of my girls who I’ve heard downstairs several times. I don’t have a cell phone anymore, so I haven’t been in contact with anyone. I left the bed to eat, then went straight back to it and fell asleep. People have knocked on my door, but I’ve refused to get up to see what they want.
I don’t want visitors.
Except today, the knocking hasn’t stopped. At all.
“Okay, so here’s the deal. You have to the count of twenty to open this door... or I’m kicking the fucking thing in.” Robert’s voice yells through the door. He starts counting, and when he reaches twenty, I hear a loud bang and splintering of wood follows. My head is still buried under the covers, so I don’t look up when he barrels in. “Oh, come on...” he says, pulling the sheet back. It’s not just Robert standing there, though, it’s also my mother. She’s looking at me like I might break. I don’t want her pitiful look, so I pull the sheet back over my face and continue to hide.
“Saskia...” I groan when she says my name.
Now she wants to see me?
Where has she been all my life?
“I brought you your pills.” I pull the sheet down. Looking at her, it’s the first time I’ve seen her without bags under her eyes and she’s dressed nicely. Usually, she throws whatever on, and that’s that. Today she looks like a lady. A mother. Not mine, though. After all, I wouldn’t know what that is. “Christopher helped me get clean. They said Livia’s in the hospital, Saskia. Did you know?”
I sit up. “Why?” I ask worriedly. I take the pills she’s offering me, and Robert steps back.
“She was shot... in the back.”
I gasp loudly. No, no. “Is she okay?”
Mom nods her head. As I scatter everything away from me in my attempt to stand, this time she gasps at me. Looking down, I notice the bruises which are fading. My hands cover my mid-section, and Robert just looks at me like he seems lost. I know I’m lost.
“Are you okay?”
I pull the sheet from the bed and cover myself with it. “I’m fine. Can we see her?”
Mom offers me a sad smile. “Livia asked that no one see her.”
My body drops back to the bed. If she was hurt before, when we were friends, before Rykan, I’d be the first one to know. Now there’s nothing between us.
“This boy isn’t doing this to you, is he?”
I look up to Robert, he looks to my mother then back to me. “I think it’s time we leave, Sheryl.” She shakes her head, but I don’t look back up to her. I don’t want her here. When I needed her growing up, she wasn’t around. She hesitantly turns around and walks out of my room.
Robert hangs back looking at me with his judging eyes. “You’ll need to leave the bedroom soon.”
I want to ignore him. “No, I won’t.”
“I spoke to Cane. He said Ryken’s with Livia.” Of course, he is. I would be too if I were allowed to be. “He’s going to come back here. You know that, right?”
“He won’t.”
He sighs heavily. “Of course he is. He may love her, Sass, but he’s in love with you. There’s a huge difference. Does she know?”
I put my head down thinking about how she looked at me. How she looked at me like she hates me. “She hates me.”
His hand touches my knee. “She doesn’t. She just doesn’t see it. He’s yours, and you’re his. She just got in the middle of that fact.”
“You don’t understand—”
He removes his hand, swinging his hands in the air. “Fine then. How about you pretend to go and love Stiles again. Why not break his heart again, because you can’t admit who your heart really wants?”
“That was harsh, I never wanted to hurt him. I cared for him, too.”
“Exactly! You cared for him. You didn’t love him. Think of all the betrayal you and Ryken have done. That’s not you. You would not do that for just anyone. It’s because you’re blind with him. Your love for each other is sinister, it hurts those around you just because you don’t see it.”
A tear falls from my eye, and I wipe it away fast. “I’m an awful person.”
He shakes his head. “You’re far from being awful. As a matter of fact, you are the exact opposite.” He leans in and kisses my cheek. “Now tomorrow, you better be out of this bed and working. I’ll be back to check on your ass.” He walks off, and I do as he says—I finally move.
Chapter Sixteen
Ryken
Antonio’s bloodied and on the floor of my room, the same floor that still has Livia’s blood on it. He isn’t dressed impeccably like he always is. His men have been searching for him, but can’t find him. I’ve sent Quinn with some more of the truths Antonio has held close, to tell them. We’ll see how much longer they want to stay by his side. “We’re going on a trip soon Antonio, aren’t you excited?” He’s tied to the bedpost and hasn’t been able to move, not even to go to the bathroom. He stinks.
“I’ll give you what you want.”
I laugh at his words. “What on earth could you give me that I don’t already have?”
Antonio looks around the room. “I can give you the name of someone that’s betraying you. At your every move and you have no idea.” He laughs as the front door opens and Quinn walks in. We both look up to him at the same time.
“How did it go?”
Quinn nods, walking to the fridge and pulling out a bottle of water. He doesn’t drink alcohol, I’ve never seen him do so. Quinn’s eyes fall to Antonio, and he scrunches up his nose as he looks to him. “No issues, I’ll be staying to clean up the mess and get it all back running, so business doesn’t slow down too much.” He sits on the couch drinking his water. “What do you plan to do with him?” He nods towards Antonio.
“I thought you could deal with that.” I smirk. I’ve gotten my revenge. Amy was enough. He’s even cried for the stupid bitch. I never thought he loved her just that he couldn’t get rid of her. I was wrong.
Quinn rubs his hands together smiling as he looks down at Antonio. “I don’t want to stay. I want to come back, though. This isn’t what I wanted. I thank you for thinking I want this, but I don’t.”
I didn’t expect that. He wanted power, being here would give him that. He deserves it. He can have everything my father never gave him here.
“Why? I’m giving it to you. You can have it.”
He drops his head then looks back to me with determination. “This isn’t my home. I want to go back home. Give it to Michael.”
“You want what Michael does?”
He shrugs. “I’m fine staying where I am, but yes... I can do what he does as well.”
“Are you sure that’s what you want?”
His confession confuses me. I thought he wanted more. Maybe he’s had a change of heart. I don’t see how, though. Quinn’s become closer to me than what Cane has.
“It’s what I want. Plus, no one will protect you the way I can. I promised your father.”
Arghh, so that’s it. “I appreciate it, Quinn, I really do. But you don’t have to do everything he wanted you to do. You’ve lived up to your end of the bargain, so don’t feel like you have to hold yourself back because a dying, selfish man said so.”
Antonio grunts in the corner and we both ignore him.
“I know, but I respect you, and I prefer to be the one protecting you rather than anyone else.” I nod my head because I’m not going to argue with that anymore. If working with me is where he wants to stay, who the fuck am I to argue. Quinn’s been there when I wanted to drink myself into oblivion because of all the nights Livia did my head in. He was there when I disappeared for nights on end because I couldn’t stand being in the same room with her, or I would call her Barbie as I came.
It didn’t work, even when I tried to force it to work. It never did. My heart was already with someone else, even I never knew I’d wholly given it to her.
“Barbie?” I ask him.
He walks back to the fridge to pull out another water bottle. “We found her. She was quiet for a few days. But actually, I spoke to Robert. She’s been in her room not leaving.”
Antonio coughs. “She’s sick, did you know that?”
We both look to him. “What are you talking about, fuckhead?”
He laughs, he actually laughs. “She asked for her pills. Your girl is sick, that’s what. Depression, it’s a real bitch. That’s how my mother killed herself. Sickly disease.” He smirks like he knows what he’s talking about.
“That would explain why she passed out for days. She was already on pills when I gave her that drug to calm her down.”
“Passed out for days all right, we almost forgot we had her.” Antonio laughs.
“Book me a flight,” I tell Quinn as I walk away, grabbing my cell. “And kill him while you are at it.” Closing the door, I hear the faint sound of the silencer click then the soft bang of Antonio falling to the ground. When I come back out, Quinn’s cleaning up the body, rolling it in a plastic sheet on the floor. He stands, going to the sink and washing his hands. I go, Quinn stays. It’s time to get my Barbie back.
THE HOUSE IS THE EXACT same, not a thing has changed. All my father’s shit is still here as I never bothered moving it. He still has the master room, and I have mine. It’s time I got rid of his things, take them out of this house so I can claim it as mine. Not that I’m staying in his house any longer because that’s how it feels. It’s late, and even though everything in me screams to go to her place and take her in every way possible, I need to wait. It should be during the day when I have a clear head and not full of wanting to fuck her.
So I head to the club, it’s been too long since I’ve been there. It’s packed, business is good. Making my way through the crowd, I spot two all too familiar faces. Robert and Stiles. Both standing at the bar talking to each other in close proximity. Walking over, I place my hand on Robert’s shoulder making him turn around to face me. He does and his smile drops, then he looks to Stiles who stares at me then shakes his head, looking back to the bartender.
“Don’t look so pleased to see me?” I question Robert. I say it loud enough that Stiles can hear as well.
“Why are you here?” Robert asks. I don’t get a chance to respond as it’s Stiles that does.
“One guess, she’s blonde.” He walks away after that comment, leaving me at the bar with Robert. I wave to one of the girls who pours us a few drinks then walks away.
“You aren’t here for her, are you?” he asks.
My head drops to the side. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
He picks up the whiskey and shoots it. “Because you make her sick. You two aren’t good together.”
“I disagree,” I argue back.
“Of course, you do, because you love her. So you don’t see it.”
“No, Robert, you don’t see it. She’s herself when she’s with me. She doesn’t pretend to love me, she does so with everything that is her.” He looks around then back to me, picking up the other whiskey.
“She only left her bed today. I’m just going to say this now I’ve had a few drinks of liquid courage.” He coughs into his hands. “You break her again, I’ll break you.” I try my best to not smile, but it breaks through subtly. He sighs and walks away from me. Making me go in search of Cane. Who I find in the booth above the dance floor, looking down at the crowd. He looks serious for a second until he notices it’s me, then his demeanor changes.
“I didn’t know you had returned.”
He shrugs his shoulders. “Someone had to run this place.” His hand waves around.
“You’ve done a good job, you should be proud.”
He looks to me, seriousness etched all over his face. “My father wants me to stop playing with you and go into business with him.” His words surprise me. He hated working with his father. That’s the sole reason he’s here.
“You don’t want to?”
He shakes his head. “His offer is nice, but I don’t want to be stuck behind a desk all my life.” He looks back out to the crowd and waves his hand. “Especially when I have all this. See that woman down there with that man?” He points to a blonde who’s kissing a man. “I bet you if I went down and offered her drinks, she’d go home with me tonight. Not her boyfriend.”
I laugh at his words. “What’s the point of that, though?”
The blonde’s almost climbing the man now. We both turn to look at each other.
“What’s the point of you going back and forth between Saskia and Livia?”
I scratch my chin and sit down. The music isn’t as loud up here, but it can still be heard. “I’m not going back and forth anymore.”
He raises an eyebrow. “So you’re finally going to choose and stick to that? Or maybe play the field a bit more?” he asks.
“I should be playing the field, shouldn’t I? I mean I’m successful, I’m young...” Cane sits next to me. “But why would I when all I want is her.”
“That could change. You changed your mind about cunt trap, Livia.”
I laugh at his term for her. Little did I know his words were true. Once she had her hooks into you, it’s hard to get them out. “That was different, I wasn’t solely wanting Livia.”