Until Forever Comes

by Jerry Cole

  Firstly, the who.

  Something had changed between Bryce and Roman and it wasn’t hard to tell what that was. It was Bryce. He had changed. And not in a huge way either. All he had done, was make himself more available. What a crazy thought.

  Years ago, when they had first started their little tryst, or whatever it had been, Bryce was the problem. He had been far too preoccupied with work and unable to put anything before it, including Roman. And although he’d had feelings for Roman, and Roman for him, they just couldn’t get past that one monumental obstruction.

  Well that was then, and this was now. The fact that Bryce now worked on set with Roman completely negated any sense of Bryce being too busy or putting work first. And even though he was still as busy as he had ever been, it was in service to Roman, so it made it okay. Furthermore, with their days revolving around the same thing, day in and day out, they’d never had so much to talk about. Even though they weren’t dating, or fooling around, or anything really, Bryce felt like he and Roman were closer than they had ever been.

  And that brought Bryce to the ‘what.’

  Roman had eaten with Bryce before. Fuck, just in the last month they’d eaten lunch together nearly every day and had dinner whenever the shoot went late. There were also a handful of times where they would meet up after filming wrapped, just to have a drink and discuss the next day’s events, or to unwind and have a few laughs. There was nothing new about the two men being alone together. But this was different.

  It was the way that Roman had asked Bryce to dinner that had stuck out. Not to mention his then avoiding of Bryce all day after the fact as if on purpose. No doubt there was a reason behind it... and Bryce was pretty sure he knew what it was.

  Roman was going to ask if Bryce wanted to date him. Bryce knew it. And if not date, at least try their hand at seeing one another. Like Bryce said, things were different now and the timing couldn’t have been more perfect. Even better, had this been one month ago, Bryce might have said no. But a lot had changed in the past month and... again, there was a reason that Bryce was having such a hard time picking out an outfit.

  Dinner was for eight o’clock. So Bryce decided to arrive ten minutes past eight. It might have sounded strange, but he wanted to get there after Roman. He wanted to see Roman across the “restaurant”—even though it was an outside, multi-restaurant dining area—and watch as his face lit up, as he broke into a smile, as his mind danced with the possibilities of what he was going to say when Bryce sat down. It was silly and more romantic than Bryce usually liked to be... but why the fuck not?

  Spice Alley was the first ever place that he and Roman had eaten together. It was located in the center of the city, wedged between two skyscrapers and made up of about fifteen Asian kitchens. The seating were all lawn chairs and tables, spread among the kitchens, and the decor was fairy lights, bamboo tiki-torches and polyester grass. It was tacky, but it was also kind of surreal and even a little romantic.

  Bryce spotted Roman the moment he arrived; he was seated in roughly the center of the dining area, wearing a throwback outfit that was all black, from the skinny jeans to the boots to the T-shirt. His long hair was done up in a ponytail, and the shaved sides even looked freshly done. When Bryce first spied Roman, he took this outfit, and the fresh haircut as a good sign, that Roman wanted to look his best. But then he saw Roman’s face.

  Roman looked despondent, even depressed. His posture too was sagging, and the way he kept checking his watch, how his leg bobbed furiously, the manner in which he shifted and shuffled in his chair. It all spoke volumes as to how Roman was really feeling... and it wasn’t good.

  “Hey.” Bryce came in from the side. He touched at Roman’s shoulder and took a seat opposite. “I almost didn’t find the place.”

  Roman broke into a smile as Bryce settled in. “I was just starting to wonder – maybe I have a better memory of that first day than you do.”

  “No,” Bryce shook his head, kept his warm smile and looked right into Roman’s eyes. “I remember it like it was yesterday.”

  Roman blushed and looked away. “I can’t believe how long it’s been.”

  “Crazy, right.”

  “Crazy.”

  The conversation was stunted. The atmosphere was tense. Roman had something to say, but so clearly didn’t want to say it.

  “So... should I order?” Bryce asked. If Roman was going to give him some bad news, whatever it might be, he didn’t want to be halfway through a meal and then have to stay here and finish it.

  “Um....” Roman looked over his shoulder toward the kitchens. He bit into his lip and furrowed his brow. “First, we need to talk —”

  “Can I say something.” In light of Roman's very strange demeanor, Bryce realized that if he were going to get what he wanted, then maybe he’d have to make the first move. Really, it was about time he did. “These last four weeks have been amazing,” he hurried.

  “Oh, thanks – that's good.”

  “And not just the movie – like, that’s been awesome too, and I’ve really, really enjoyed working on it. Fuck, just having something to do has been... right.” He reached his hand across the table, praying to God that Roman took it. He didn’t.

  “I’m glad.” He didn’t sound glad.

  “But mainly... the last four weeks have been...” Bryce felt his mouth suddenly go dry. He searched for a glass of water, but there was none. And all the while, his damn hand lay across the table, untouched, begging for Roman to reach out and take it. “... I’ve had a really good time getting to see you again —”

  “I have to fire you.” The words tumbled from Roman’s mouth like they had been shoved in there by a third party and were fighting to get free.

  Bryce retracted his hand. “What did you say?”

  Roman grimaced and looked away. His posture was still stiff, his face was starting to sweat, and he looked very, very uncomfortable. “Sally approached me today after the shoot and... I want to preface this by saying that I think you’ve been doing such a good job on set.”

  “Don’t do that.”

  “Do what?”

  “Try and make this about everyone but you.”

  “I’m not – it's not.”

  “If you want to fire me, then do it. Don’t blame someone else.” Bryce wasn’t even sure if he was angry or not. Yes, he was suddenly feeling very hot under the collar, and he could sense his temper rising. But he didn’t think he was mad, just disappointed.

  Roman straightened up and for the first real time, looked right at Bryce. “Sally approached me after we wrapped today. She had a piece of paper signed by every member of cast and crew, saving you and me. She gave me the paper... and an ultimatum.”

  “It’s her or me,” Bryce nodded.

  “It’s you or everyone.” Roman paused, letting the meaning of what he had said sink in. “You’re good at what you do, Bryce. I don’t think I’ve ever worked on a film where everything runs so close to time... like, I can’t even explain how rare that is.”

  “Good for me.” He tried not to sound too bitter. “Fired for doing a good job, how’s that.”

  “There’s more to it than that – fuck, I didn’t want this. But you have to admit, you have a habit of getting on people’s nerves. Yesterday I saw you shove your megaphone right in Barry’s face because he was taking a smoke break —”

  “He’d had one ten minutes earlier,” Bryce protested. “Snuck around the corner so he could. What does he think? I won’t notice?”

  “And it’s not the end of the world, Bryce. We weren’t even filming yet.”

  “But if he does it, then everyone will. Soon enough, you’re ten days behind and you don’t know why.”

  “Well, if there’s no one left on set, then it won’t matter how many days behind I am, will it?”

  Bryce wasn’t even sure why he was arguing. What, was he going to convince Roman to change his mind? And not even Roman, but the rest of the cast and crew. It seemed unlikely. An
d besides, from the moment that Bryce spotted Roman tonight, he could see that his mind was already made up about something. At least now he knew what it was.

  Bryce hadn’t even realized, but his hand was back down by his side. “So, that’s it? I’m fired? You’re being serious – this isn’t some sort of prank? Although to be fair, it might go down as the worst prank in human history.”

  Roman was looking down at his lap now and speaking into his chest. “I can figure out a way to get you your investment back if you —”

  “I don’t care about the money,” Bryce sighed. “I would have lent it to you even if... I just wanted your movie to turn out how you wanted. I wanted it to be as good as it could be.”

  “I know you did.”

  “And if that means... if I’m the reason it might not be, then you’re right, I should go.” Without thinking, Bryce pushed his chair back and went to stand.

  “Wait!” Roman reached out to stop Bryce. “You’re going? We haven’t even...” he indicated to the table, and Spice Alley in general.

  “I’m not going to sit here and eat with you.” Bryce stood straight up, looking down on Roman now. “Thank you though, for being honest, at least.”

  “Bryce...” Roman looked like he had more to say, so much more. But Bryce didn’t want to hear it. Even now, if he revealed what Bryce thought this dinner was actually going to be about, he was pretty sure he wouldn’t want to know. Not anymore.

  “Good luck with the movie, Roman. Seriously.” He looked Roman right in the eyes to let him know he was being sincere; they were sparkling wet from withheld tears, and his chin wobbled just enough. “Maybe I’ll see you at the premiere.” And then, he turned around and walked away.

  There was a small part of him that hoped Roman would chase him. He had come to dinner tonight actually believing that Roman was going to ask to date him and that by the time he went to sleep tonight, he’d be happier than he had been in a long time. Now he saw that it was going to be the complete opposite.

  Even still, if Roman had given chase and asked, maybe even begged that they could still give it a go, Bryce might have considered. Strangely, he didn’t blame Roman for his being fired. Again, Bryce’s intensity when it came to all things work had gotten him in trouble. It was time he held himself accountable.

  Roman wasn’t going to chase him. And Roman wasn’t going to ask him out. There would be no late-night phone calls, or early morning apologies. Bryce had played their relationship up in his head and now he was paying for it. Again, he was forced to admit that maybe he just wasn’t ready for a relationship, and that maybe he never would be. If Roman, his perfect man, was too good to date him, then who else would?

  At thirty-two years of age, Bryce was starting to realize that maybe he was doomed to end up alone. Not to mention unemployed. Years and years of hard work, literal non-stop hard work, and it had all led to this. It was quite the life that Bryce Taylor had carved out for himself... quite the life.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  “You work too much.”

  “I know I do.”

  “Like way too much.”

  “I am aware.”

  “When was the last time you even went on a date?”

  “Do we really have to do this now? Again?”

  “Why not? Not like you have anywhere to be – and don’t tell me you have to get back to work. That would only prove to serve me correct in all of this... which I am, by the way.”

  “I’m really happy for you.”

  It was a favorite topic of James’, brought up at least once a week for what had to have been six months now... although really, he had been mentioning it for years. Whenever Roman and James were alone, with nothing to talk about and not a care in the world, the topic of conversation would almost always turn to Roman’s love life, and the complete and utter lack of it.

  There was nothing particularly special about today, and no seemingly obvious reason for James’ broaching of the topic. It was just something he liked to do. The two best friends were enjoying a morning coffee together, at their favorite Sydney café, Single O and where Roman was content to read the paper in silence, James was not.

  “Forty is fast approaching, you know?” James continued as he sipped on his latte. “And although even I’ll admit that like a fine wine, you actually get better with age – I've seen pictures of you from when you were a teenager. Fuck me.” He chuckled to himself and had another sip of his coffee. “What was I saying again?”

  “That I’ll be a hottie even when I’m eighty.”

  “A single hottie unable to get it up or do much of anything,” James countered. “Although by then they might have medication for that, so who knows.”

  “I do love these chats we have together.”

  “Me too, darling. Me too.” James winked over his coffee and then purposefully slurped it dry. Once done, he put the cup down, quickly checked his cell and then groaned. “And that’s me for the morning.” He pushed his chair back and stood up.

  “Claire?” Roman asked, still from his seat.

  “The twins – little buggers. I was led to believe that babies were incapable of much of anything. Yet last night, somehow they managed to completely destroy the living room. Shit everywhere, you would not believe it.” He grimaced at the thought. “I’d read you this message Claire just sent me, but you’re about to eat and I don’t want you losing your appetite.”

  “Always looking out for me.”

  “In all things.” James grabbed his leather jacket off the back of the chair and threw it over his shoulder. Even at thirty-eighty, there was still something so effortlessly cool about him; his tanned skin, his square chin, the constant five o’clock shadow. Roman could see at least two younger women eyeing him even now. “Claire wanted me to invite you round for dinner tomorrow night too.”

  Roman raised an eyebrow at him as if to say, ‘Are you serious?’

  “Before we head to the premiere,” James hurried. “What time is that? Nine? She reckons we can get a quick meal in before then.”

  “Color me excited,” Roman responded plainly. “Just so long as you promise – and I fucking mean, promise there won’t be any single gay friends of yours there ‘by accident’ this time.”

  James held his hands up in defense. “That was her – and I gave her a good talking to, believe me.” Roman didn’t believe him, and the look he levelled at James said as much. James grinned in response. “Well, I told her not to do it again. It’ll just be us three. And the twins.”

  “I’ll bring a raincoat.”

  “Ha!” James shook his head and laughed to himself. “I’ll see ya then, mate.”

  “Toodle-oo.” Roman went back to his paper as James strutted across the café and out the door. Again, Roman couldn’t help but notice the single women eyeing him like a piece of meat. A shame that James was well and truly off the market.

  It was an odd thought, and one that Roman had often now. Ten years ago, James was the living embodiment of the single bachelor. He’d slept with more women than Roman could count, and often told Roman that he wanted to die at eighty, while in bed with at least two women sucking on his cock. Being tied down with one woman was, in his opinion, a living nightmare.

  But then James met the right woman and things changed. Soon it went from drinking every night and hooking up with anything that moved, to romantic dinners and early nights and days at a time where Roman wouldn’t hear from him because he was too busy being loved. Roman would have found it sweet if he weren’t so sickened by it.

  “It happens,” James had shrugged when Roman had first called him out. “You’ve just got to find the right person.”

  The right person... what a concept. Once upon a time, Roman had believed in this fantastical idea. He’d actually met someone who he had deemed as ‘the right person,’ that being the special someone who he could have conceived spending the rest of his life with. But that was years ago. Now, two ex-boyfriends, a dozen terrible dates and five mo
re that he didn’t even want to think about later, and Roman was done with love.

  Even seeing other happy couples had Roman feeling jaded. Right now for example, in this little café in the center of Sydney, there were at least four couples that Roman could see. All straight, all with that puppy dog look in their eyes, all at that point where the world revolved around their significant other. It was a reliance that Roman was glad to be done with, honestly. Now he had the rest of his life to look forward to... alone.

  It was a sad realization, but not one that he was willing to let get him down. Truly, he wasn’t. Even without a boyfriend, Roman still lived a very fulfilling life. Much more than most, honestly.

  Roman had a lot of friends. In his line of work, he was always meeting new people and a vast majority of them had managed to stick around. These were actors, actresses, other directors, editors, writers and just people he knew through them. There wasn’t a day of the week that Roman couldn’t fill with a social engagement, and that was fine by him. Really, it was!

  And then there was his work. For Roman, his third film was the turning point in his career. Five years ago, The Scorned Bride had come out to rave reviews and huge ticket sales. All of a sudden, Roman had gone from an indie film director to the hottest director on the market. Within a year he was already producing his next film, three years after that he had another two ticked off the list, and on it went. When one finished, he’d move onto the next and often he’d start a new one while the other was still going. Roman was a workaholic, but he loved it.

  At least he told himself that he did. He had to. When the weekend approached and all his friends were busy with their partners, and Roman found himself working instead of socializing, it was just easier to convince himself that this was what he wanted to do. What else was there?

  “Excuse me.” The voice came from over the top of his newspaper; it was soft and careful, almost nervous.

  Roman lowered the paper to find a young man and woman in their early twenties standing on the opposite side of the table. They were an attractive couple, with matching blond hair, tanned skin and big white smiles, and the way they held one another suggested they were very much in love.