Impossibly His

by Lane, Shawn;

  “I don’t.” Micah shrugged. “I’m concerned for you.”

  “Oh. Well, don’t be. I can take care of myself, Micah.”

  Micah sighed. “All right. Suit yourself. And on that note, I should go. I only stopped by for the DVD, which you gave me.”

  “Gonna have a movie marathon? With who?”

  “Just me and Sylvester. I’m such a party animal,” Micah said. He hugged Linus. “Have a good time, sweetie. But not too good of a time.”

  “Yeah, yeah. See you.”

  “See you.”

  Chapter 5

  “This is my own fault, you realize,” Micah told Sylvester. The cat wound through his legs as he prepared the cat’s food at the kitchen counter. “I’m the idiot who told him to go out with Spencer.”

  Micah pulled off the lid of the can of cat food and scooped half of the contents into a fish-shaped cat dish.

  “And I’m also the idiot who said, ‘Oh let’s just be friends. I don’t want anything serious. We’re not even attracted to each other.’“

  Sometimes Micah wondered if he could be any more stupid if he tried. He was not an unintelligent guy. Hell, he was a highly respected and sought after registered nurse. He worked at one of the best hospitals in Southern California. One didn’t get that way if one was a dunderhead.

  Except maybe with guys he was. Somewhere in the back of his head he’d thought he’d be in his mid-thirties or even his early forties before he took the dreaded plunge. Of course he was already thinking of it in negative terms. He knew of happy successful relationships, of course. His parents, for instance.

  “I’m rambling even in my thought processes now,” he told Sylvester as he set the cat’s dish on the kitchen floor.

  The truth was, he’d already texted the words, Don’t Sleep With Him, into his phone intending to send it to Linus. But he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t really send that to Linus, so he hadn’t. He’d been so tempted to, though.

  “I could tell him I changed my mind, couldn’t I?” Micah leaned against the counter, hugging himself. “Would that be crazy?” He bit his lip. “I mean…I like him. Really like him. And I lied when I said I didn’t find him attractive. Did I say that? I don’t even remember.” He looked down at Sylvester. “I’m crazy, huh? Being jealous of the fact the guy who is my BFF or whatever is going out with someone else. I am an idiot, aren’t I?”

  The craziest thing was some part of him wanted to stalk Linus and Geoff to see if might be headed toward sex. Linus had told him where they were going. But that would just be too wrong and Micah knew it. What the hell was he going to do about it anyway? Nothing.

  “Nothing.” Micah sighed. “It’s stupid anyway. Movie time.”

  * * * *

  The next day’s shift didn’t have Micah working with Linus and it proved to be a busy and exhausting day, so he didn’t have a chance to find out any details about Linus’s date with Geoff Spencer. In fact, Micah was so busy he didn’t see Linus socially until Thursday night, three nights later.

  They ended up meeting at a little Chinese restaurant down the street from Linus’s apartment. He studied Linus carefully. This was a day when he wore contacts instead of the glasses, so the blue of his eyes was quite noticeable and appealing.

  “You should wear your contacts more often,” Micah told him. “Your eyes are gorgeous.”

  Linus smirked. “You’re in a good mood. Throwing out compliments.”

  “Speaking the truth.”

  “My eyes get too tired for them sometimes. They tend to dry out too much.” Linus picked up the bottle of Tsingtao and took a sip of the beer. “What’s new? I feel like we haven’t seen each other in a while.”

  “We haven’t. Between the crazy shifts and the hospital and your new boyfriend.” Micah hoped that Linus would immediately deny such a thing.

  “I wouldn’t call him my boyfriend, but we are getting together again tomorrow night,” Linus said.

  Micah forced a smile even while he felt a sickening drop in his stomach. “That’s very cool. So you guys got along then?”

  “Yeah, surprisingly well. We talked and laughed for hours,” Linus said, looking surprised by it. “I had a great time. I think he did, too.”

  “Sounds like it if you scheduled date number two.”

  “Before you ask, we didn’t. Not yet.”

  Micah widened his eyes. “I wasn’t going to ask.”

  “Weren’t you?” Linus studied the menu closely. “Kon pau shrimp okay with you?”

  “Yeah, and the lemon chicken,” Micah suggested.

  They ordered their food when the waitress came by.

  “Enough about me,” Linus said after another sip of his beer. “What’s new with you? Any hot prospects?”

  Micah shrugged. “Probably go to a gay bar tomorrow night with some of my friends. Nothing major.”

  “Well, yeah, I knew you’d have no serious dates.” Linus laughed.

  Unfairly, Micah was annoyed at his friend’s laughter. Yeah, yeah, he was the one who declared rather insistently that he didn’t do relationships, but still. Okay, he had nothing to say about it. But he was still annoyed.

  He did have the ability to change the subject though and that’s just what he intended to do. “Let’s talk about something other than our sex lives, okay?”

  Linus nodded. “Suits me just fine.”

  “Are you still coming to my parents’ on Sunday? They really want to meet you.”

  “Yeah, absolutely. I can’t want to meet them, too.”

  Chapter 6

  Linus actually ended up picking Micah up Sunday for Micah’s parents’ barbecue. His parents lived in Sunland and on a Sunday afternoon the drive wasn’t too bad.

  Micah seemed just a little down, which was so unlike his friend Linus worried. In fact, for the last week or so the normally carefree, bubbly Micah had been downright down in the dumps.

  He glanced at Micah as he drove down the freeway. “You okay?”

  It took a few seconds for Micah to answer, but when he did, he said, “Yeah, why?”

  “You just seem to be a little sad this week. Problems at the hospital? Your supervisor?”

  Micah smiled and shook his head. “Nah, everything’s good at work.”

  “Family issues?” Linus didn’t want to walk into an uncomfortable family situation without at least a little warning.

  At this Micah laughed. “There’s nothing.”

  Linus bit his lip and nodded. In the couple of months since they decided to be friends, Linus had found he really liked Micah. A lot. Sure, even from the beginning he could recognize the flirty nurse was sexy and adorable. But Linus had believed the hype and rumors and thought Micah was just an annoying slut.

  The truth was, he was an excellent, conscientious nurse who worked harder than most of the others. He was kind and caring and lots of fun. And a damn good, crafty poker player.

  “What are you smiling at?”

  “Just thinking about the way you kicked my ass at poker last week.”

  “And everyone else’s, too,” Micah said, grinning. “Yeah, that was fun.”

  “Wiping the floor with me is fun, huh?” Linus snorted. “Good to know.”

  “Pretty much. This off-ramp.”

  Linus took the ramp down to the city streets. “You haven’t asked me.”

  Micah’s gaze slid briefly to Linus and then back to the road. “Asked you what?”

  “About Geoff.”

  “Oh.” Micah shrugged. “I figured if there was something you wanted to tell, you would.”

  “Maybe. Anyway, it’s still going good. We’re going out again later this week.” Linus smiled at Micah’s raised eyebrow. “We’re taking it slow.”

  “Slow?” Micah’s chocolate brown eyes widened. “Oh. So, um, not yet?”

  Linus laughed. “Nope.”

  “Hm. Well, I’m kind of surprised. I figured based on my own experience he’d want to do it pretty much right away.”

 
“You’re a lot hotter than me,” Linus pointed out, since to him it was obvious.

  “Even if I believed that nonsense, I doubt that would matter to him.” Micah shrugged. “Maybe he really likes you.”

  “Yeah?”

  Micah blinked, smiled, and nodded. “Yeah. What’s not to like?”

  “I don’t know. I figured I’m not really his type.”

  “Meaning if he likes me? This is their street. Turn right.”

  Linus sighed and shrugged as he turned right onto the street where Micah’s parents lived. “You’re adorable and sweet and sexy. And I’m just sort of your average guy.”

  “Look, Linus, I don’t know who told you that you’re average, but you so aren’t. You’re gorgeous, with blue eyes and a hot body and a medical degree. Geoff Spencer would have to be a fucking idiot not to want you.”

  Linus pulled his car in front of the house Micah pointed at and, for a moment, just sat there. Micah had talked so passionately about him that for a second or two he thought…but that was stupid. He pushed back on the moment of hope he’d allowed himself.

  He smiled instead. “Thanks, Micah. You’re a great friend.”

  * * * *

  Micah smiled as he stood at the window of his mother’s kitchen. Outside on the patio, Linus was talking to Micah’s dad. They were both looking at the bright red and purple bougainvillea vining up the patio trellis.

  Micah’s mom came up behind him and looked out. She smiled. “I like him, honey. Very handsome. Seems nice.”

  “He is nice.”

  “Your father and I were happily surprised when you said you were bringing him. We were afraid you were never going to settle down with a boyfriend.”

  Micah’s eyes widened and he shook his head rapidly. “Mom, no. Linus is not my boyfriend. He’s just a friend.”

  His mother frowned, then bit her lip. “Really? The way you talked about him and the way you’ve looked at him ever since you two arrived, I was sure.”

  Micah squashed down his sense of panic. “Look at him? Y-you can tell?”

  She searched his face. “I thought I could. Am I wrong, honey?”

  “No,” Micah whispered. Then he straightened and stepped away from the window. “It doesn’t matter though because we’re just friends. Only friends.”

  “He seems like he really likes you, too. Are you sure?”

  “I’m the one who suggested we be friends. So, yeah I’m sure.”

  She sighed and then smiled. “Okay. Just someday…you think maybe you’ll have a regular boyfriend?”

  He smiled and hugged her. “Yeah, someday. Let’s bring out the chips and dip.”

  “And your father wants a beer,” she told him as he went to the fridge.

  * * * *

  “That was nice,” Linus said as he pulled his car away from the curb in front of Micah’s parents’ home.

  “Yeah? They really liked you.”

  “I liked them, too. It’s just my sister and me. Has been for a while. And since I moved here I only get to talk to her on the phone or by Skype.”

  Micah studied Linus’s profile, noticing the barely perceptible hard ridge of his jaw. “Are they dead or…”

  “Did they disown me?” Linus supplied. He smirked a little at Micah’s nod. “Not exactly. They weren’t thrilled. Never that. And not exactly accepting either. But they didn’t toss me out. Instead, they quietly ignored me. About six years ago they were killed in an accident by a drunk driver. So, yeah it’s just Marion and me.”

  “And for a little while your boyfriend?’

  “Yeah, Raj. His family was Indian. Very conservative. They didn’t accept him being gay or having a boyfriend.”

  “I’m sorry. That really sucks.”

  Linus grimaced. “You have no idea. They claimed his cancer was punishment for his sins.”

  “Oh, my God.” Micah’s heart pounded just thinking about that sort of crap. “I’m so lucky.”

  “You really are,” Linus agreed. “And that’s awesome, so don’t feel guilty or bad about that.”

  Micah reached over and squeezed his leg. “Thanks, man.”

  Linus smiled. “You’re very welcome.”

  Chapter 7

  Linus was tired when his shift was over. Really tired. The day had been terrible. He’d lost an elderly female patient to cardiac arrest while her family had been in visiting her. It would be a long time before Linus would forget her grandchildren’s sobs.

  Micah hadn’t been working, so he didn’t even have his friend’s comforting presence to soothe him. He was supposed to go out with Geoff Spencer, but Linus’s heart just wasn’t in it. He liked Geoff, but that spark he’d hoped for when he used to watch Geoff just wasn’t there for him.

  He picked up his cell phone and dialed Geoff’s number. It went to voice mail.

  “Hi, Geoff, it’s Linus. Sorry to cancel on you with such short notice, but I’ve had a crappy day and I’m just going to stay home and recharge. If you want, we can talk about maybe rescheduling to another time. Anyway, thanks. And sorry again. Bye.”

  Linus felt slightly guilty, but honestly more relieved than anything else. He wasn’t up to socialization or faking an interest he was pretty sure he no longer had.

  And Linus knew a major reason for his increasing blah feelings over Geoff was his growing feelings for Micah…his friend.

  When Micah had first suggested a friendship, Linus had been skeptical to say the least. He’d judged the younger man by how gorgeous and flirty he was. But the truth was, Micah was sweet and generous and lots of fun. He had a great time with Micah whenever they spent time together. Even the shifts they had at the hospital were Linus’s preferred shifts. Just having Micah there comforted him in ways he had never expected.

  And every time he went out with Geoff, all he could think about was that he wished he was out with Micah. Linus had it bad and he was going to have to learn to get passed it. Micah just wanted to be friends and Linus had to accept that. Better having Micah in his life this way than not at all.

  Linus told himself to stop dwelling on what could not be and went to take a shower. After his shower, he dressed in his pajamas and heated himself up some leftovers. He had just finished eating when there was a knock at his door.

  With a frown, he went to the door and peered out the peephole. He instantly recognized Micah’s dark curly head and opened the door. Micah had a large bruise across his jaw.

  “What happened? My God.” Linus pulled him inside and shut the door.

  Micah winced. “Easy. I’m a little sore.”

  Linus saw some bruising on Micah’s arms and wrists, too. “Where else? Where else are you hurt?”

  Micah lifted up his shirt to reveal a developing bruise on his flat stomach. “It looks worse there than it feels.”

  “Come into the living room and sit.”

  Micah stepped into the living room and lowered himself into the chair.

  “Did you go to the hospital?”

  “No, I came to you. You’re like the hospital.” Micah smiled a little, than grimaced. “It hurts a bit to smile.”

  “Someone did this to you. Who?”

  “A guy I met at a bar.” Micah leaned his head back against the chair. “Wanted to hookup. I said no. I left and he followed me, knocked me around.”

  “Jesus. Did you call the police?”

  “I think he intended much worse. Someone came outside to the parking lot and scared him off. They called the police and I filed a report with a description. But no one even knew the guy’s name. First time in the bar.”

  Linus’s heart felt like it was in his throat as he knelt beside Micah’s chair. “Are you all right? Are you sure you don’t want to go to the hospital?”

  “I’m not badly hurt, Linus. Just mostly shaken up. This actually happened this morning just before closing. I’ve been with the police and then at home after that. I just…I wanted to see you. Stupid I guess.”

  “I’m glad you did. But you should
have called me and told me.”

  “You were on shift. And really, Linus, I’m okay. I’m a nurse, don’t forget.”

  Linus touched his leg, then put a hand on Micah’s knee. “I know you are. I’m glad I was here. I was supposed to go out with Geoff Spencer tonight.”

  Micah bit his lip, his expression almost crestfallen. “Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t think about that.”

  “No, it’s okay. We’re not going.”

  “No? Did he cancel on you?”

  Linus shook his head. “No, I canceled on him.”

  Micah’s dark eyes got somehow softer. “So, it’s okay that I’m here?”

  “Yes, of course it is. I wouldn’t want you to go anywhere else. You want something? Tea? Something to eat?”

  Micah swallowed heavily, and Linus watched as his Adam’s apple slid up and down his throat. “Tea would be good. Thanks.”

  When Linus went to stand, Micah grabbed his hand.

  “Can I…can I stay here tonight? I already fed Sylvester. I’m just still a little weirded out.”

  Linus smiled. “Of course you can stay. I’ll be back with your tea.”

  Linus went into the kitchen and made himself busy making tea for both of them. His hands shook the whole time. He was filled with anger at the asshole who had done this to Micah.

  He finished the tea and brought the steaming mugs out to the living room. Micah had folded his legs under him in the chair, and he gave Linus a sheepish smile as he took the tea.

  “You really don’t mind my staying?”

  “Micah, no, I want you to stay.” More than Linus dared admit. Linus sat on the edge of the coffee table so he could be closer to Micah.

  Micah sipped the tea. “So, how come you canceled with Geoff?”

  “Today was a crappy day,” Linus admitted. “Terrible shift.”

  “What happened?”

  “Mrs. Rivers died.”

  “That sweet little old lady?”

  Linus sighed. “Heart gave out. I tried everything, couldn’t get her heart started again. Just yesterday she thanked me for being such a good doctor.” Tears filled his eyes and he looked away, ashamed at his weakness.