She was old fashioned and didn’t allow us to go into his bedroom, or anything. At times I longed for her to be my mother. Usually she was nurturing to me, but it seemed as if he had told her something. Was she being loyal to him? Yeah, probably so. By the way, he was her son.
Kamal appeared and I was immediately heated all over again. I’d held it in because of his mom and his siblings, but when I looked at him my blood boiled.
“Can we talk…outside?” I asked not wanting anybody else in our business.
He gave me a look, but he couldn’t read me that time. Our bond had been broken and I wasn’t letting him in.
Once we were outside and the door was closed I tore into his ass. “Nigga, fuck you! I got into a fight with Brielle at the movies. You fuckin’ her?”
He really looked shocked and taken aback by what I’d just accused him of. “What the…Bri who?”
“Nigga, you know who I’m talkin’ ‘bout. Big booty Brielle who is always up in your face! Don’t act like you don’t know who the fuck I’m talkin’ about!” I narrowed my eyes at him.
“Oh…her? Baby, c’mon. You already know…”
“I’on know shit. Prove it. If you don’t want her then you gon’ tell that hoe in front of everybody Monday at school.”
I could literally hear him gulp.
“It don’t have to come to that.” He looked up at me. “Why can’t you just trust me?”
“Cause I’on trust nobody!” I snapped. “People go away. I’m used to that shit.”
His hands were on my face and my eyes burned. Damnit I needed him, but what if he was going to go away too. My parents had been taken away. Maybe knowing me was a curse and it was best for me to disassociate myself from those I loved. What if those that I held close to me were destined to be taken away. That thought alone made me want to just give up on love. Not only the love for a man, but love period.
“Not me. I ain’t goin’ nowhere.” He cupped my chin in his hand, but I moved away.
“Did you fuck her?” My eyes met his.
“No,” he said, but I couldn’t tell if he was telling the truth. I just didn’t believe him.
I ran off in a haste and was met with the pellets of a hard, spring rain. Damn, I didn’t want to fuck my hair up.
“Sasha!” Kamal yelled behind me.
When I turned around he was heading toward me with an umbrella in his hand. He caught up with me and held it over my head while I was in stride.
“Slow down.”
I did.
“I’on want her ma. I only want you. I ain’t never touched that girl. I’on know what the fuck she tryna prove, but I love you Sasha. I’ve loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you. Please…believe me.”
I stood under the shelter he’d provided for me with no reservations. It was obvious that Kamal loved me, but for some reason that hoe Brielle didn’t like that shit.
“Well, shut that bitch down then nigga. Either that, or I’m gone. You will not make me look like your fool.” I was going through enough and there was no way that I was going to prove to everyone around me that I was a failure at keeping my relationship together.
My father was going to prison and my mother had been murdered, but that didn’t mean that my future was doomed too. I had to prove that I wasn’t a statistic. My high school sweet heart was supposed to marry me and I was destined to have my happily ever after.
“Okay, whatever you want.” With his free arm he pulled me close and kissed me tenderly.
* * *
That Monday in school during lunch Kamal made it his business to do what I had asked. I guess he wasn’t trying to lose me.
“Babe, c’mon,” he looked at me and grabbed my hand.
Brielle was sitting at a table not too far from ours with her hoe clique.
“Yo’, Brielle. What the fuck was that shit ma? You know I’on fuck wit’ you. I never have. You keep throwin’ it at me, but I’m good. You already know who my girl is and you know who my wife gon’ be.”
He pulled me even closer to him when he said that.
I looked at her. “Hell yeah bitch! What now?”
Grabbing her by the throat, I used my eyes to drive my point.
Kamal’s hand was on my shoulder. “Let her go baby. She ain’t worth it. I told you I ain’t never touched her. Graduation is only a few weeks away. Don’t fuck it up.”
Walking across that stage in my graduation gown was all I wanted. Shit, I was sick of high school and despite my irrational temper, I really wanted to make something of myself. Kamal was my voice of reason and he kept me in line. I loved that about him.
Letting the bitch go, I added for emphasis, “Cross me again and you gon’ feel it for real bitch.”
“Fuck you,” she spat trying to play hard around her friends.
I knew better. My eyes drifted to Amika who was staring me down. “What the fuck you lookin’ at? I’ll make you choke on those bucked teeth bitch!”
Everybody in earshot bursted into a fit of laughter.
“C’mon babe, let’s go.” Kamal grabbed my arm and attempted to pull me.
Against my will, I allowed him to guide me to our table. My girls were sitting there with their eyes glued to us.
“I thought you was gonna whoop that hoe’s ass again,” Jordan laughed.
Nadia glanced over at me. “I need you to stay outta trouble for the next few weeks boo.” Her eyes said it all. She was tired of getting me out of shit.
Of course none of us mentioned the sexual favor she’d done to get us out of trouble at the movies. Her man was right there and we knew how to keep quiet. We’d all been close since elementary school, so we were loyal to one another.
“I was gonna beat her ass, but Kamal stopped me. As far as me stayin’ outta trouble I’m tryin’, but that bitch keeps askin’ for it.”
Bells spoke up. “Fuck her and her ugly ass crew of wannabes. She’ll never be you, no matter how hard she tries. It’s almost over. Graduation’s gonna be here before you know it.”
“That’s what I told her,” Kamal said looking over at me. “These…chicks wanna fuck up what we got, but I ain’t gon’ let ‘em.”
I loved how he expressed his feeling for me even around his boys. He wasn’t afraid to let them know that he loved me.
He grabbed my hand and everybody at the table started teasing us.
“Aww. Look at the love birds,” Cherie joked as she dunked a chicken nugget in barbeque sauce.
“I know. This nigga’s all in love,” Tremaine teased.
Travis joined in. “Hell yeah. You the mushy one who makes it hard as hell for the rest of us.”
“You should take notes from Kamal,” Jordan threw back at him. “You could be a little bit more romantic.”
I cleared my throat, feeling a little bit uncomfortable by my best friend’s favorable comment about my boyfriend.
“I’m just sayin’.” Jordan’s eyes caught mine. “It ain’t like that Sasha.”
“I didn’t say it was, but...”
Travis got up and walked away from the table. Jordan got up and went after him. There was an awkward silence after that. The bell rang to end lunch about five minutes later and everybody got up to throw their trays away. Kamal put his arm around my waist and I flinched.
“What’s up babe?” He asked me.
“Nothin’,” I dismissed him. My attention was on Jordan and Travis who seemed to be making up in the corner.
I didn’t want to read too much into what Jordan had said, so I walked off and went to my locker. Of course Kamal was right behind me.
“Something’s up…”
“I told you it’s nothin’. I gotta get to class.” Grabbing my Chemistry book, I walked away from him with so much on my mind.
“Since when have you given a damn about gettin’ to class on time?” Kamal’s voice resonated behind me, but I kept on walking.
* * *
“Baby, talk to me,” Kamal was leaning against my car
waiting for me after school.
I sighed heavily. “I need some time alone, okay.”
“Time alone?” He looked hurt. “Why? I don’t know why you lettin’ outside shit come between us.”
“I’m not.” I had to look away from him before I started crying. “It’s just…” I cleared my throat. “a lot going on.”
“I know it is, but that’s why I’m here. You got me.”
He walked over to me and wrapped me up in his arms. “I know Mal, but, please, just give me some time. Okay?”
After he pulled away from me, he stared lovingly into my eyes. “Okay. Whatever you need.”
“I’ll check up on you later.” He caressed my cheek gently.
“Okay,” I nodded and forced a smile on my face.
After a soft peck on the lips, Kamal finally walked off. I got behind the wheel of my car and headed back to the condo in Buckhead that I had shared with my father. At that point I really needed some time alone to think.
Chapter 3
It was finally the day that I’d been waiting for. My pops had been sentenced to five years in prison the week before and I had finally gotten my acceptance letter to go to Tennessee State with my man. I was going to make the best of my situation and regardless of what I’d been through I was determined to enjoy the milestone of graduation.
“You ready for this?” Kamal asked as I zipped my gown before getting in line.
“Hell yeah. Ain’t you proud of me?” I winked at him.
“You know I am.” He leaned over to kiss me just as our friends approached.
“Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye,” they all sang.
It was the oldie, but goodie that the
basketball team would sing when they won a
game. I guess it was appropriate for the situation. It was time to say goodbye to that chapter of life.
Kamal seemed really happy. I knew that graduating was an accomplishment, but his huge grin was over the top. He was really smart, so he was the valedictorian of our class. That meant that he’d beat the odds being a young black man who’d been raised in the hood. I couldn’t wait to hear his speech, because I knew that he’d blow everyone away.
“I’m proud of you too Mr. Valedictorian,” I grinned at him.
“Well, I’m hopin’ I can give you the dick…later,” he whispered in my ear.
My body melted with desire. Making love to the man who was going to rescue me from all of the madness was all that was on my mind. We had to make it through the ceremony first. It was just too bad that my father wasn’t going to be there to see me walk across that stage. He was a pimp and he lived by the code of the streets, but he wanted me to be somebody totally different. Although I was a hot head, I wasn’t a dummy. Without even trying, I had a high B average. If I had worked to my full potential, I probably would’ve been the valedictorian.
Pomp and Circumstance started playing and everybody got into their designated spots in line. My heart skipped a beat because I was so excited about finally accomplishing something. I knew that my mother was smiling down on me and my father was beaming with pride. Once we were all seated the commencement began. For the most part I drifted off, because I didn’t want to hear anybody speak but Kamal. All I could think about was the fact that my parents couldn’t be there.
Finally, after all of the fillers and the keynote speaker finished, it was time for my love to give his speech. He had my undivided attention as the crowd cheered him on as if he was on the basketball court. It was like he was a hood star and I was proud to call him mine. My girls looked at me with smiles as he was announced as our class’s number one student. Kamal stepped to the podium and looked out at the crowd with the confidence of Barack Obama.
At the end of his speech he said, “I’ve only been part of this class for two years, but it feels like I’ve known you all my life. I’ve formed the closest bonds and I’ve also found the love of my life.”
The crowd whistled and all eyes were on me. I couldn’t help but blush.
“Well, since I helped us win the championship this year…”
The crowd cheered even louder as he continued.
“I figured I could have this moment to say this. Sasha, I love you so much baby. Will you come up here please.”
The hush that came over the crowd freaked me out. It was just too damn quiet.
“Get up and go up there,” Jordan whispered behind me.
I stood up and walked toward the stage. My heart pounded as I walked up the steps to get to Kamal. When I was standing in front of him he took my hand and got down on one knee.
“You’re all that I’ve ever wanted and as we embark on our futures, I want us to do it together. I love you Sasha. Will you marry me?”
A barrage of whistles and awes came from the crowd. So that was why he had been smiling all hard? His plan was to propose and as the beautiful, princess cut, diamond engagement ring sparkled in front of me, my heart fell. Was I really ready for that? Shit, I couldn’t make him look stupid in front of everybody, so I smiled all big.
“Yes, yes, I’ll marry you!”
He slid the ring on my finger.
The crowd roared as if it we’d just won the playoffs. Although we hadn’t, I still felt like a winner. Brielle, or nobody else could keep true love from taking its course. Fate was on our side and we were destined to be together. Kamal stared up at me and his own eyes were filled with tears as he stood up and held me in his arms. We walked off the stage hand in hand and then went to our designated seats. On the way we were both congratulated on our engagement. After that it was time to give out the diplomas. All I could think about was how I was going to tell Kamal that I didn’t want to get married until my father got out of prison. He wasn’t at my graduation, but I wanted him to be at my wedding. Kamal would have to wait, because I wanted my daddy to give me away.
* * *
Later that night there was a party at Cherie’s crib. Her parents owned a laid out mini mansion in Atlanta that they let her use while they were in Cancun. They’d left right after graduation. They were rolling in the dough and we all knew how. Her pops, Steel, ran the drug game with a dude named Mendosa. Cherie drove a bright red Mercedes and had every brand name bag and shoe you could name. I was a close second to her, but I didn’t have shit on her status. My pops made a lot of money selling pussy, but not as much as her father did moving dope.
The party was popping and when I made my grand entrance everybody immediately started congratulating me again.
“Thank you,” I continuously said to random people who were either from our class or who went to school with us.
“Damn bitch, you went all out.” I told Cherie as she passed me a clear cup full of something brown and strong.
When I lifted the cup to my mouth to take a sip it made my eyes burn, so I gave it back to her with a frown.
“It’s a graduation/engagement party boo. Congratulations.” She hugged me tightly and then I felt someone nudge me from behind.
It was Jordan and she had a lit blunt in her hand as she hugged me next. “My bestie’s gettin’ married. Awww.”
As we separated she blew the smoke out, then passed the blunt to me.
“Thank you loves, but we ain’t gettin’ married no time soon.” I took a much needed pull from the blunt. Oh, that was just what the hell it took to make me feel like partying. Accepting my father’s situation had been hard, but I knew that he wanted me to move on. He would want me to live my life. There was a DJ and all and most of the partiers were outside by the pool.
“Hey ma.” Kamal hugged me when he spotted me. I felt so loved.
“Hey handsome.” I smiled up at him as he kissed my lips.
“I know shit’s crazy right now, but I want you to try to have fun.” His eyes were glued to mine, waiting for a reaction.
“I am.” I nodded and turned to see that bitch Brielle standing right there beside us.
She didn’t say a word, but the look on her face s
poke volumes. Instead of feeding into it, I ignored that hoe, grabbed Kamal’s hand and pulled him away.
“She’s really fuckin’ wit’ me right now. I’m tryin’ so hard not to whoop her ass again.”
Kamal cupped my chin in his hand and gave me a kiss that tasted like beer. “Don’t pay her no mind. She’s irrelevant.”
My girls were all having a good time and hadn’t really noticed the tense moment with my number one nemesis. It wasn’t worth it to get into any more fights with her. At that point all I wanted to do was go off to college with Kamal and start a new life. My high school days and behaviors were all behind me. It was time to grow up and I wasn’t interested in fighting Brielle’s delusional ass over my man.
“You good?” Jordan turned to me and asked.
Her eyes drifted over to Brielle and Amika.
“Oh, did she…?”
“Nah,” I cut her off. “She just keeps starin’ at me and shit. I’m tryna ignore her, but she’s really tryin’ it right now.”
Shaking her head in annoyance, Jordan said, “She ain’t gon’ do shit. She ain’t tryna get her face stumped in again.”
Cherie shook her head. “It’s too many guns up in here for her to try it.”
Bells laughed. “Dayum, you gangsta as fuck.”
Nadia rolled her eyes. “She’s always threatenin’ to pull the guns out.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at my friends. They were all so different and their personalities were what made me love them. There couldn’t be a better group of chicas for me to hang out with, because they were all crazy as hell just like me.
“Ya’ll behave,” Deshaun said with a sly grin on his face. “Although I’d love to see some titties pop out durin’ a girl fight.”
Travis, Tremaine, Chris and Kamal slapped each other five as they fell out with laughter.
We all just looked at them as if we were mad, although we weren’t.
“Such pervs.” I shook my head.
“What’s up young’uns,” I heard behind us.
When I turned around I spotted Cherie’s older brother Sergio. Everybody called him Serg. He was a twenty-year-old, hot headed ass street nigga. He was feared by most though because of his father, so of course a condition of Cherie having the party was him being there. His crew of goons were armed and served as free security.
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