Reluctant Desire

by Leah Brooke

  Hope frowned again. “And you went to the doctor yesterday, found out everything was healed, Beau took you out to dinner and then back to his place and had sex with you?”

  “Exactly.” Frustrated with herself, and with Beau, Charity folded the towel with movements so jerky, she almost dropped it. “Damn it.”

  “I’m sorry. I just don’t get it. Was the sex bad?”

  “It was incredible. He was so intense, and…” Blowing out a breath of frustration, Charity ran a hand through her hair. “Something’s different. I told you what he told me about his reasons for being so playful. Now, he doesn’t consider it as important as protecting me. I don’t need protection. He says that after going out in a blizzard, I need someone to look after me. Damn it, Hope! I’m not a child, and I’m not stupid. I wouldn’t have gone out in the damned thing if I’d known. The reason I hadn’t watched the news was because I was busy. How was I supposed to know the damned thing would get here a day early?”

  Leaning back against the counter, Hope grinned. “He’s really got you ruffled, doesn’t he? Good. You need a little ruffling.”

  “You’re not helping.”

  Hope folded the towel she’d been using and set it aside. “I don’t see the problem. You’ve got a gorgeous man madly in love with you, a man you also happen to love. You’re getting married in a few weeks. The sex is great between you and you’re perfect for each other.” She ticked each item off on her fingers.

  “Mom and the dads love him, and he makes you happy.” Dropping her hand, Hope leaned forward. “I repeat—what is the fucking problem?”

  Charity dropped the last towel into the basket. “I know it sounds crazy. Beau’s wonderful.” Raking a hand through her hair, she went to the table and dropped into a chair. “Before the accident, Beau was always playing. Teasing. Bringing toys into the bedroom. He hasn’t done that since. He’s loving, attentive, and so caring, but he doesn’t play the way he used to. I mean, he plays, I guess. It’s just not like before. Christ, I sound like an idiot.”

  “Have you asked him about it?”

  “Of course. He says that since the accident, he’s realized that it’s more important to take care of me. I told you that.” Unable to sit still, she jumped up again. “But, he explained to me why he liked to play. I told you about his grandparents’ marriage. He wants to enjoy life and I’m afraid he’s not doing something that’s so important to him because of me.”

  Pacing back and forth in her small kitchen, Charity chewed on a thumbnail. “How can I just let that go?”

  Hope sipped at her coffee. “Charity, you’re such a worrier. I already told you that it would probably get better in time. You haven’t had sex in weeks because of your injury, and you’re all upset because the first time you make love with him, he didn’t bring any toys. Jesus, did you use toys every time?”

  Charity shrugged. “No, of course not. But, he always had this playfulness in bed.”

  “So last night he was boring?”

  Her bottom still tingled from his attention there, and after coming three times in rapid succession, she’d come again when he’d taken her once more before driving her home. She couldn’t stop thinking about the look in his eyes as he’d stared down at her newly waxed pussy.

  She couldn’t stop thinking about the way he touched her, a firm gentleness that seemed far more intense than it ever had before.

  The way he held her.

  The look in his eyes as he entered her.

  Pausing, she glanced at her sister. “No. Beau’s never boring.”

  He made her heart race with just a look.

  Hope got to her feet and reached for her coat. “I think, as always, you’re thinking into this too much. Give Beau some time.” She shrugged on her coat and came forward, touching Charity’s arm. “Ace said that your accident really shook Beau. He said Beau used to just sit there and stare at you while you slept, because every time he went to sleep, he had nightmares that he couldn’t find you. Beau blames himself for your accident.”

  Charity blinked. “That’s ridiculous. He didn’t force me to drive to the carpet store.”

  “No, but he didn’t stop you.”

  Charity gaped at her sister. “Do you hear yourself?” Shaking her head, she sat back at the table. “Ace must have spanked the spunk right out of you.”

  “Wait a minute! I’m trying to help you and you insult me?” Hope plopped into the chair across from her. “You grew up in this town. You know damned well how the men are. If Beau considered you his and you got hurt, he would blame himself.” Getting to her feet again, she grabbed her small purse and grinned at Charity over her shoulder. “You’re damned lucky he didn’t turn you over his knee and paddle your ass. I know that’s what Ace would have done to me.”

  Swinging the door open, Hope paused. “Just for the record, when my husband spanks me, it doesn’t make me meek. It riles me up and makes me horny. If you had a man who spanked you, you’d know that.” After sticking her tongue out at her sister, she went out the door, closing it behind her.

  Shaking her head, Charity laughed softly and got to her feet with the intention of going down to the diner for lunch. Shocked when the door opened again, she spun toward it, surprised to see Hope poking her head through.

  “Forget something?”

  Hope frowned. “Yeah. How the hell did Beau get you to play?”

  Charity had to think about it. “I don’t know. I didn’t really have a choice. He just pulled out the toys and we played.”

  Hope grinned. “There you go. Just play. I know a great place where you can buy some toys. Beau won’t be able to resist.”

  * * * *

  Two nights later, Charity thought about her sister’s advice as she made her way to Beau’s house. She’d thought about it several times since then, and the more she thought about it, the more she realized her sister was right.

  If she played, Beau would have no choice but to join in.

  He’d been out of town all day, checking out his warehouse, so Charity had decided to surprise him with dinner. She’d picked up some groceries and drove her new compact to his house with the intention of letting herself in with the key he’d given her, and making the fried chicken she knew he liked.

  After a long drive, and being out all day, she figured he’d appreciate spending an evening at home with his feet up.

  She just wanted to see him.

  She hadn’t seen or heard from him since they’d had dinner together in her apartment with Hope and Ace the night before.

  She couldn’t believe how much she missed him.

  It gave her an inordinate amount of pleasure to use his key for the first time. Pausing at the threshold, she paused, inhaling deeply, smiling when she caught the lingering scent of him.

  After unpacking the groceries, she checked out the contents of his cabinets, struck by the realization that although she’d been here many times, she didn’t know where he kept anything. Finding the plates and glasses, she set the table, and then went in search of the pans she’d need to cook dinner.

  She frowned at the limited supply, and at the fact that he didn’t seem to have a salad bowl. Thankful that she’d brought the spices and staples she needed, she began to reorganize to make a convenient place for them.

  Her cell phone rang just as she’d put the potatoes on to boil. Her heart raced as she rushed to answer it. “Hello?”

  “Hey, cher. I’m on my way home.”

  Charity grinned, a rush of desire warming her at the sound of Beau’s voice. “That’s good news. How did it go?” Frowning to realize she didn’t even know what he’d gone to do, she leaned back against the counter.

  “It went fine. Better than I expected. I had to fire a manager for stealing, and hired two more, and seven more employees. Business is picking up, and they were having trouble keeping up.”

  Charity blinked. “The online business is doing that well?”

  Beau’s soft chuckle sent another rush of warmth thro
ugh her, this one making her nipples bead, and awakening a surge of awareness in her clit. “In case you haven’t heard, Charity, sex sells.”

  Tracing a finger over the cold granite, Charity smiled, lowering her voice to a whisper. “What else does sex do, darling?” She had to slap a hand over her mouth to hold back a giggle at the stunned silence that followed.

  When Beau finally spoke, his low, silky tone caused a flutter in her stomach, one that had her shifting restlessly in her seat. “Are you flirting with me, cher?”

  Charity couldn’t hold back a giggle. “If you have to ask, I’m obviously not doing it right.”

  “You’re doing it just fine.”

  Trembling, Charity drew in a shaky breath, more nervous than she would have expected to be. “Did you bring any toys home with you?”

  After another pregnant pause, Beau sighed. “No, cher. We don’t need toys. Look, when I get back home, I’ll get showered and changed and I’ll come get you. I won’t be home for another hour or so, though. If you’re hungry, don’t wait for me. Eat a little something and I’ll take you out to dinner when I get back. Did you eat anything today?”

  Frowning, Charity straightened. “Beau, I’m not a child. Of course I ate. There’s no need to pick me up. I’m at your house.”

  “You are?”

  Taken aback at the surprise in his voice, she realized that she’d never come over to surprise him like this before. She’d had the key for months, but hadn’t used it.

  “That’s okay, isn’t it?”

  “It’s great, Charity. I gave you the key to use.”

  Too restless to stay still, she made her way to the living room. “I figured that after being gone all day and the long drive, you would rather sit back with your feet up tonight. I’m making fried chicken for dinner.”

  “Sounds great. Are you sure it’s not going to be too much trouble? I know you’ve been working at the club all day. I don’t want you to overdo it.”

  Charity sighed. “Beau, ever since my accident, you’ve treated me as if I might break. Please stop it. I’m tough. I’m fine. Stop babying me and treat me like an adult.”

  “I’m fully aware of the fact that you’re an adult, Charity.” His cold tone sent a chill up her spine. “You’re all woman, a fact that gives me a great deal of pleasure, and at times scares the hell out of me. You’re delightfully feminine, but you’re also small and fragile. It’s up to me to protect you, and I don’t take my responsibility lightly. I’m running into some traffic, so I’m going to get off the phone. I’ll see you as soon as I can get there.”

  Not wanting to distract him from his driving, Charity had no choice but to let it go. “Okay. Drive safely.”

  “I will. Just stay put. I don’t want you driving home at night, and I’m very much looking forward to that chicken.”

  When he disconnected, Charity got to her feet again with the intention of starting dinner, stilling when she heard a knock at the front door. Wondering who it could be, Charity moved to the large front window to look out, smiling when she saw Ace’s SUV parked behind her car in the driveway.

  With a smile, she flung her door open. “So, Sheriff, you like my new car?”

  Ace grinned. “I thought it had to be you, but I ran the plates anyway. What are you doing here?”

  Charity stepped back, opening the door wider and walking back to the kitchen, knowing Ace would follow her. “Beau had to go to the warehouse today, and I thought I’d have a nice dinner waiting for him.” She glanced over at Ace as he took a seat at the table, opening the cabinet where she’d found the coffee cups earlier.

  Pouring him a cup, she glanced at him, once again shocked by how small a room looked when he was in it. “I figured he’d be tired and wouldn’t feel like going out.”

  Accepting the cup of coffee with a smile of thanks, Ace settled back in his chair, appearing to relax, but Charity knew Desire’s sheriff seldom relaxed, especially when on duty.

  “They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”

  Amused, Charity started making a salad, using a large pot to put it together. “Hope doesn’t cook. She’s terrible at it.” Washing the lettuce, she turned to smile at Ace.

  Although his expression never changed, his eyes glimmered with amusement. “Let’s just say that your sister found a shortcut, and leave it at that.”

  She finished washing the lettuce and began to work on the tomatoes. “Hope is madly in love with you. She loves as fiercely as she does everything else.”

  Ace inclined his head, his lips twitching. “She does, and I love her just as fiercely.” He took another sip of his coffee, his pose relaxed. “Beau loves you, too.”

  Charity shrugged. “I know.” Working on the vegetable, she glanced at Ace again, getting a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach. “You didn’t just happen to stop by. What’s Hope up to now? She must have sent you over for something.”

  Ace shrugged, his deceptively mild expression not fooling her for an instant. “Nothing. She just worries about you.”

  “Well, there’s nothing to worry about.”

  Ace inclined his head. “I’m glad to hear it.”

  Knowing his sharp gaze missed nothing, Charity struggled not to show any sign of nerves, at the same time wondering why the conversation even made her nervous. “Hope makes too much of things.”

  “She does get wound up at times.”

  Chopping the cucumber with more force than necessary, Charity glanced at Ace again. “I told her about something that was bothering me. She acts like it’s nothing, and then she sends you to grill me about it.”

  Ace took another sip of coffee. “Yeah, your sister has a lot of brass.”

  “She probably figured that since she’s the same as Beau, that I’m the one who’s in the wrong.”

  “Could be.”

  “They play around all the time—at least Beau used to. You and I are the serious ones.”

  “That’s true.”

  Charity threw the cucumbers into the pot with the other vegetables. “I’ll bet she thought you would tell me that I made a big deal out of nothing, and that it’s my fault that Beau doesn’t want to play anymore.”

  “She’d be wrong.”

  “I ruined him.” Charity threw the knife into the sink and slumped against the counter. “It is all my fault.”

  “Takes two to tango.”

  Charity blinked back tears, her stomach knotting. “I criticized him over and over for not taking things seriously, and it was just because I thought he was playing with me. I didn’t think a man like Beau could ever be really interested in a woman as plain and ordinary as I am.”

  “If that were true, he never would have touched you—a woman who didn’t know the score.”

  “Hell, Hope’s always telling me that I’m no fun.”

  “She tells me the same thing.”

  Straightening, Charity wiped the water from the counter. “I was wrong. Beau loves me, but I’ve made him into something he isn’t. He’s never going to be happy like this.” The thought of it scared the hell out of her.

  Ace got up and helped himself to another cup of coffee. “Charity, Beau is—”

  “Hope’s right. It could be just because of the accident. I’ll give it some more time. If things don’t change, I already have a plan. I’ll just do that.”

  “It sounds like you’ve got everything figured out.” Taking a sip of his coffee, Ace moved back to the table.

  Nodding, she opened the refrigerator to put the salad inside and grabbed the chicken. “I know. You’re right. I probably shouldn’t wait too long. The longer it goes on, the more likely that it’ll be permanent.”

  Ace’s lips twitched. “And you’re too impatient to wait for anything. That’s something you and your sister have in common, but you’re always trying to fix things.”

  She unwrapped the chicken pieces, her movements jerky. “What am I supposed to do? Just let it go on this way forever. It’s driving me crazy!
”

  “I see that it is.”

  “Well, I can handle it myself. I appreciate that you cared enough to come over here, but I can handle it on my own.”

  Ace’s lips twitched. “I have no doubt.”

  She washed her hands and began dumping flour and spices into a plastic bag, her movements automatic. She measured everything by eye, having done it too many times to count.

  She dried the pieces of chicken, one by one, the repetition of it calming her and settling some of her nerves. Aware of Ace’s watchful gaze, and admiring his patience, she glanced at him as she reached back into the refrigerator for the buttermilk. “Did you ever think Hope was playing games with you?”

  “Yes.”

  Charity blinked and turned to him, still patting a chicken leg dry with a paper towel. “Really?”

  Ace smiled. “Really. That’s what took us so long to get together. I thought it was all a game to her.”

  “But you loved her.” She began coating the chicken, the action so familiar, she didn’t even have to think about it.

  Ace shrugged. “Thought for sure she was going to break my heart.” He eyed her meaningfully. “Scary as hell, isn’t it?”

  Charity checked the flame under the pan she’d readied for frying. Straightening, she glanced at him again as she began to transfer the chicken she’d coated into the frying pan.

  “Yeah. I tried my best to keep my distance, but I didn’t have much luck with that.”

  “I know how that feels. They’re a pain in the ass, but they’re worth it.”

  “I resent that.”

  Charity gasped, spinning at the sound of Beau’s deep voice coming from just inside the kitchen. “You’re back!”

  Dropping the plate back onto the counter, she ran to Beau, jumping as she reached him, secure in the knowledge that he would catch her.

  He did. Holding her close and dropping a kiss on her lips as he turned to Ace, who’d stood and had started for the door. “You don’t have to go. Stay and eat with us.”