CUL-DE-SAC (On The Edge Book 1)

by YILDIRIM, M. E.

  But he was curious to see how the pictures she took looked like.

  He already knew he was going to see himself on them, still suspecting that she might have been a journalist attempting to write a story about their club. Certainly wouldn't be the first one to try that, he thought.

  "You are like a son I've never had Xan," Tony said, but his eyes were hard and calculating.

  Bullshit, Xan thought but knew better than to voice his opinion.

  There was a time he saw Tony as his savior, but over the years he understood he was nothing more to the man than a useful tool. It didn't bother him as long as he could benefit from this relationship as well.

  They were connected in ways they didn't talk often about, but it was there all the same.

  "Am I in trouble?" Tony smirked when Xan remained silent.

  "If we are back to this... you know where I stand."

  "And I told you it was just an incident. Drugs are not part of our club." Tony folded his arms on his chest looking at him expectantly.

  He was lying, Xan thought.

  After more than a decade, he knew him well enough to recognize it and it pissed him off more than the dealing in the first place.

  “It’s your business.” He said only, because after all that was the truth.

  “You are not exactly a Boy Scout yourself Xan.” Tony reminded him sharply.

  “And I’ve never pretended to be one. I just told you I don’t want to have anything to do with this side of the biz.”

  “I remember the time when you were not as… particular.” Tony noticed.

  “Yeah, well, I was young and naive once.”

  “Naive my ass! You were young though, I give you that much,” Tony said.

  They both chuckled and just for a moment it felt like old times, Xan thought.

  “I will make sure this… issue will stay under wraps,” Tony added and no matter how hypocritical it was on his part, it was all fine and dandy with him, Xan decided, nodding in acknowledgment.

  “I am done for tonight,” he said and turned away to leave.

  “I’ve heard we had another problem tonight?” Tony’s words stopped him.

  “A problem?”

  “An enigmatic woman with more luck than common sense taking pictures?”

  Xan couldn’t stop himself this time and just grinned remembering the cool look in the almond-shaped blue eyes, the hot imprint of her slender body pressed tightly against his own.

  She wasn’t so remote then, he thought.

  His thumb stroked the leather belt once before pulling the camera out of his pocket and he let it swing in his hold.

  “There is no problem,” he said shortly and Tony laughed.

  “This is why I need you Xan, we are a team you and I,” came his parting words.

  CHAPTER 4

  Catalina’s eyes were closed when she was sitting on the beach the next afternoon. She was absently sifting warm sand between her spread fingers. Rays of the fading sun were playing hide and seek with the descending twilight, casting shadows onto her face and bared arms. Heated touches felt like small kisses, placed randomly on the skin by some loving lips.

  She made a face when the romantic thought fully registered in her mind. The mind that was occupied by far more bleak deliberations.

  She had thought that at this time of the day she would be sitting here, exactly like now in her favorite spot, thrilled after pocketing the commission for the last job well done, maybe considering her next move.

  It was not about the money, never had been really.

  It was about the purpose, about knowing people enjoyed and appreciated her work. Payment was nothing but a tangible sign of their appreciation. A small, self-deprecating smile disrupted the line of her lips. Cat supposed it was easy to dismiss the subject of money for someone like her, who had never known what the lack of it meant.

  On the other hand, money was never able to soothe the jagged edges of her soul or mend her heart that had been irrevocably broken when she was but a child. So many years had passed yet she was nowhere closer to accepting the blow fate had dealt her, rending her of both parents in one instant.

  Like a click of a shutter, she thought and felt a chill sneaking up her spine.

  Money paid for the roof above her head and the soft bed she was sinking into at the end of a day. But it couldn’t fashion a pair of loving arms that could hold her throughout nights rocking her gently while she cried herself to sleep.

  Catalina sighed deeply because self-pity was not something she cared a great deal for and finding herself on her merry way toward it only resulted in her mood veering more south, even though she was already pretty miserable at the moment.

  It all started less than twenty four hours ago, when she made the mistake of going into the club. Her hand clenched instantly as if in a sensory memory and she needed the comfort of the camera that was no longer there.

  She wanted to sigh with regret and the sense of loss spearing through her, but it changed into a huff instead when the man’s face flashed in front of her eyes.

  Xan.

  She was already cursing inwardly the moment her eyes laid on him and she made the mistake of taking his picture. She would have never done it if given a chance to undo it all, she told herself, pretending not to notice the false note reverberating in this reassurance.

  It didn’t matter; her interest was purely professional. Or maybe it did matter, but wasn’t it making it all so much worse?

  She went there only to fulfill what she was obliged to by accepting the job offer. And she had, but at what cost? She asked herself. For someone who should be celebrating right about now, she felt pretty down, not to say defeated.

  She wondered if he would show up in the Monsoon Café the next day at noon, and only more doubts assailed her because he didn’t seem like the type who took many things seriously enough to keep his word.

  Granted, she didn’t know him, but then she was not impressed by what she saw so far, Cat thought.

  He had what she cared a great deal for, but then she was in possession of something he wanted as well. They could… keep civil and talk about it at the very least. She tried not to think much about the fact he appeared to have a problem with the civil part.

  She stood up, ready to walk back home, trying to get rid of grains of sand from between her fingers, yet they seemed unwilling to let her go and simply be.

  Just like Xan last night.

  Just like the dark thoughts clouding her mind, stealing away her capacity to feel even the smallest traces of joy.

  She shook her head, still unable to understand how something that should have been so easy managed to go so wrong somehow.

  But even the best laid plans often went awry because things and people were far from flawless.

  ***

  Being constantly in a bad mood had its merits, Xan thought the next evening. After some time–though usually long after you would like them to–people stopped bothering you with their presence, wants, wishes and whatnot.

  It suited him just fine.

  He preferred to be left alone, was used to it, but there was a time in his life when something as crucial and simple as that had been nothing but an unfulfilled wish on his part.

  One of many.

  But many people never took a child’s wishes into consideration and nobody knew that better than him. Things most people took for granted looked much different to someone who was deprived of them at some point of his life, he thought.

  Now he did as he pleased and there was nobody to hinder him or tell him he was not good enough. His hands balled into fists when a hated memory sprouted from his mind.

  He didn’t need the reminder either.

  He had no place for someone else’s emotions, having plenty of his own. The fact most were revolving around ill-tempered was beyond the point in his opinion.

  The day began as ordinarily as possible, but it started to change very fast. That was what habitually happened when any k
ind of plan involved a human factor. People were disappointing more times than not and for someone who, like him, didn’t have high expectations to begin with, it was painting a pretty sad picture of today’s world, he decided.

  First he learned his next opponent had a fight a day or two ago which went wrong. It usually meant a serious injury sustained that could put one out of a ring for a long time. Long enough that at times a fighter ended up being replaced. He saw it time and time again and it was probably one of a very few things he truly feared himself.

  Like this or like that, now his fight was not happening due to the circumstances unless he found a replacement and found it fast. Which wasn’t as easy as most might think, since usually those things took preparations and scheduling ahead.

  Xan was a fighter who was sought out but even that didn’t guarantee someone would drop everything and accept a challenge from him with only a few hours’ notice. No fight meant no money, and that was enough to screw up his mood like nothing else, he thought with a scowl.

  Then he got a phone call informing him that a pipe burst in the apartment above his and sadly it was serious enough for the ceiling in Xan’s to start leaking as well. As a result, he was stuck in his old room in the club until the damage was taken care of.

  Being back in here reminded him how it felt when he had nothing, and it wasn’t his favorite memory. He had his things all over the place since he was using it often enough. But staying for a few hours once in a while was not the same as living in it again and being forced to relive things better left in the past.

  He heard the faint echoes of people having fun and enjoying themselves downstairs, but he didn’t feel like checking the scene for himself, deciding that it was safer to stay put and not to dare fate anymore. Not that he believed much in destiny and all that crap but why risk it?

  For one day it was enough.

  A light knock on his door was the last thing he wanted or expected and for a second he considered ignoring it altogether. But then the door opened taking the decision out of his hands and he instantly regretted not locking the damn thing in the first place.

  “Xan?” A woman called out his name and stepped inside without waiting for him to invite her in.

  Probably because she knew it wouldn’t happen, he thought.

  She was on the short side but had inviting curves mercilessly emphasized by a barely-there red dress, in case someone would miss the fact.

  Unlikely, Xan noticed, but she belonged to the type of women that didn’t believe in subtleties.

  She was one of the regulars and her name was Isis. He didn’t know if it was her real name or not and he couldn’t care less. In their world people could be whomever they wanted to be, if only for a little while, and probably that was one of the reasons so many sought them out and saw the club as a kind of escape from their own life and skin.

  “What do you want?” He asked harshly making his mood obvious, but she used what was known as his favorite tactic and ignored his tone, pretending she didn’t notice.

  Figures, he thought. He already knew payback was the most spiteful of bitches.

  “I thought we could… chat a bit.” She said slowly and he didn’t miss the small but telling pause.

  It was obvious that talking wasn’t on top of her list. He decided that if an opportunity literally came knocking down his door he just might take it and fuck the whole day’s frustration out of his system.

  If the fight was canceled for tonight, sex was the next best thing. Maybe being back in his old place had its perks after all, he thought and sent her a salacious look.

  “Oh yeah?”

  Isis took his words as a belated invitation and walked closer. Her hips were swaying in a provocative way in an accord with her long dark hair dramatically poised on one of her arms, baring the other temptingly.

  His body started to respond even if his mind was still occupied by other matters. But he was determined to switch off his brain for a little while and the woman in front of him seemed keen on helping him out.

  She stopped before him and thanks to her stilettos, she had around four inches extra of advantage than usual, but was still nowhere close to matching his six-foot-one height.

  Isis raised her arms and braced them loosely on his chest, drawing some random patterns on the material of his black T-shirt.

  “Yeah… see, I’ve been watching you for a while now, Xan,” she breathed out in a seductive tone of voice and rose on her tiptoes to pepper his jaw with kisses.

  He had something else in mind so he bent his head covering her lips with his mouth. She gasped surprised and moaned loudly giving back as good as she got. His hands shot to seize her waist, to pull her closer into his suddenly hungry body but she laughed, expertly avoiding more intimate embrace.

  “You are not wasting any time, do you?”

  He decided it was a rhetorical question and didn’t bother answering. Xan was about to reach for her one more time when she placed a finger on his lips as if telling him to keep a secret.

  “I wanted to ask you about something…” She started but he cut her off.

  “Ask me later.”

  “I’m serious.” Isis protested.

  “Fine! What is it?” He blew out a harsh breath, hating delaying of inevitable now when his thinking capacity was reduced by his cock’s urgent demands.

  “There is this guy…” She raised her head and looked him straight in the eye and it was then that he saw a calculated gleam in them for the first time.

  His interest waned, turning his blood from hot to frozen in an instant. Anger pushing out everything else, not leaving even an iota of space for any other emotion.

  “A guy.” He repeated having an idea where it was going to lead.

  “My boyfriend, to be precise. He’s been acting like an ass lately and I thought that maybe…” She paused dramatically waiting for him to fill in the blanks.

  Oh, he filled them alright, Xan thought viciously.

  People often thought they could use him to beat the crap out of others that he would gladly roughen somebody up in their name. Reasons were usually similar and they didn’t really matter in the end.

  It was about teaching someone a lesson, scar them for life or simply threaten.

  Isis was hardly the first woman trying to use her wiles on Xan so he would batter her boyfriend a bit under some idiotic pretext.

  After the day he had, this was the last drop that did it and his temper spewed over.

  He grabbed her by the throat in a threatening manner. His face was closed off and impassive, his eyes hard and bright with rage. But instead of fear he saw excitement there. That’s what many women wanted from him–a brutal coupling based on what little they knew about him.

  Externals, he thought with disgust.

  People always went by them. He wasn’t going to pretend he didn’t do the same but in his case it was all about a gut feeling and it had saved his ass too many times to start counting now.

  He implied more pressure cutting off her ability to breathe. Just enough to let her know he meant business.

  “Don’t ever try to use me again. You won’t like the price to pay.” He warned her in a low, menacing tone of voice.

  Isis looked into his eyes and some of her excitement waned. She understood he was not in the mood to fuck around. Whatever she read in his gaze made her gasp and her eyes brimmed with tears.

  “I’m sorry.” She choked out and ran out of the room without looking back as soon as he let her go.

  He didn’t doubt she was sorry; the worst part of it was that he didn’t think she regretted coming here with her dastardly plan in mind.

  No, she was remorseful just because it didn’t pan out the way she wanted.

  His breath hissed out between his teeth and he braced his hands on the wall before he could do something as idiotic as planting his fist in it instead. The only thing stopping him from it was fear of the outcome. He didn’t need any more problems, Xan decided.

&n
bsp; The word problems whispered through his mind and his eyes automatically landed on the camera sitting on a chair since the previous night. Busy with everything he forgot about it, but now was as good a time as any to check it out, he decided. He needed something that could occupy his mind and make his hands busy.

  He walked toward it and grabbed it, noticing for the first time it looked old and was far from any of these sleek and modern looking pieces of technology he saw people walking around with.

  It still looked expensive but… outdated.

  His fingers found the card slot and he opened it to retrieve the memory card, ignoring the tremor in his hands.

  His temper was yet to subside.

  He was wondering about the pictures before and there was no reason to wait any longer with satisfying his curiosity. He grabbed his laptop and inserted the card waiting for files to open, except… there were no files.

  The damn thing was completely empty.

  “Impossible.” He muttered to himself, but the result was the same.

  A nervous twitch started somewhere under his eye and it didn’t seem like it was going to stop anytime soon. Xan stood up slowly, put his laptop aside with great precision ready to pace off all pent up emotions swirling in his gut.

  His eyes landed on the camera again and his superficial calm frayed on the edges and then cracked altogether. He grabbed the cursed device and hurled it across the room but the crashing sound it made when it connected with the wall, failed to make him feel any better.

  Somehow she had replaced the card before he could get to her, there was no other explanation, Xan decided and gritted his teeth again. It seemed he was going to meet up with her the next day after all.

  She was yet another person trying to fuck him over, thinking she could outsmart him. Well, he was about to show the bitch the error of her ways, he thought viciously and his gaze flared in anticipation.

  CHAPTER 5

  Catalina was frustrated and as much as she accepted the state a while ago, as far as her work went, the feeling didn’t have a place in her private life. Even worse was the realization that this time nobody else was the source of it but… herself.