Forget Me Never

by M J Rutter

  “I’ll find Warren for you, help yourself to the food, we have over catered again,” she added as she walked away. I sipped the bitter champagne and pursed my lips, the talk of the team. Great!

  “It’s just the lads having a laugh at my expense.” Alec explained.

  “So, what are they saying?”

  “Nothing that matters.” He shrugged and drained his glass.

  “If it doesn’t matter, why won’t you tell me?” I frowned.

  “They think it’s just a fling and that as soon as I get home, you won’t want to know me.”

  “That doesn’t make sense,” I remarked. “I think they are probably calling me desperate or a gold digger or something.”

  He scoffed, “I know desperation when I see it and you are not desperate at all and trust me, Grace, if I suspected that you were a gold digger, then I wouldn’t have even given you the time of day. I have known plenty of them and you are nothing like them, you are a million times better than any girl I have ever met.”

  I should have smiled at his compliment, but I was getting angry. “What are they really saying?” I pressed.

  “They think it’s too soon to call you my girlfriend, they think I could be playing with fire and will get my fingers burned.”

  “They are right though, Alec, this is all happening way too fast.” I walked to the railing surrounding the boat, the cool sea breeze blew through my hair and tickled my skin.

  “Are you saying you want to slow down?” he asked, he sounded upset.

  “Kevin really hurt me, Alec, I mean, he all but destroyed me and shredded my heart. I don’t think it would withstand that sort of pain again.”

  “So, this morning was what?” he demanded.

  “Amazing and I am in love with you, that hasn’t changed, but I don’t want this to be rushed, we have time, we don’t have to run before we can walk.” I reasoned.

  “Alec, mate, glad you could make it.” A tall man with blonde hair and a golden tan smiled as we both spun around. “And you must be Grace.”

  “Yes,” I smiled. “Nice to meet you, Warren?”

  “That’s it, Warren Fitzgerald. I can see why Alec is so happy with you,” he grinned, he flashed his blue eyes at Alec. “You haven’t got a drink, Alec, what would you like?”

  “Anything,” he grumbled.

  “What about you, Grace?” I lifted my barely touched glass, “Okay, I’ll be right back.”

  Alec sighed loudly, “Are you going to act like a spoiled, little boy all night?” I asked.

  “I thought we were on the same page, that finally I had found someone to care about me as much as I care about them. Obviously, I was wrong.” He grumbled.

  “We are on the same page, it is just that I am reading every single word and taking it all in, where as you are speed reading and skimming through it. I don’t want you to wake up in a few months and realize we made a mistake.” I explained.

  “I have never fallen for anyone this fast before in my life. I trusted you enough to tell you how I felt this morning and this is how you repay me…” he snarled.

  “If you remember rightly, I said it too and I am in love with you, Alec,” I insisted.

  “But?”

  “But nothing, okay? I am just thinking about what others will think when we get home.” I heaved a breath and pain began to build inside, he was upset and it hurt to see him like this. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m sorry, okay?” I rubbed his arm and he nodded his head.

  Warren returned and handed him a glass, “This stuff is twenty years old, it’ll put hairs on your chest.” He added. Alec lifted the glass to his lips and nocked the drink back in one go. I sipped my bubbly and rolled my eyes. I had succeeded in upsetting him and making a man who hardly drank anything, knock back a shot of strong, malted whiskey like it was water.

  Warren talked about the boat and about Elisa, how they met and how she was the daughter of some huge business man in London I had never heard of. Alec talked about work and avoided looking at me which was fine, I suppose I had upset him and deserved his angst. He obviously cared a lot about me or it wouldn’t have upset him so much. What worried me though was that everyone would be like his friends, call us a whirlwind and generally whirlwinds didn’t last.

  Why couldn’t I just be like everyone else? Why couldn’t I let it all go and just enjoy the ride? He was an amazing man, he made me smile again and he had woken my poor, battered and bruised heart, so why the hell couldn’t I just lighten up and go with the flow?

  I drifted away from them and found a seat that overlooked the dark blue ocean. The star studded sky above held a white, full moon that reflected in a perfect circle on the water, it was only then that I felt the boat swaying slightly.

  “Are you okay?” Elisa asked.

  “Yes,” I lied.

  “You don’t look it.”

  I stared at her briefly, “How long have you know Warren?”

  “Six wonderful months.” She smiled proudly.

  “I only met Alec last week and… I just think things that develop this quickly can and will only lead to disaster.”

  “Why?”

  “Well, we jumped right in, we did. I opened up my heart and let him in and now, now I am petrified of losing this, of losing him and getting hurt again.”

  “But who says things move too quickly? Years ago women didn’t even kiss their husbands before their wedding day and that was if they even got to meet them before walking down the aisle.” I nodded, she had a point. “How do you feel about him?”

  “I’m in love with him.” I answered adamantly.

  “Look at that, you answered without even have to think about it. Yes, you have only known him a few days, but sometimes that’s all it takes.” She took my hand and smiled. “I have known Alec the same length of time as I have known Warren, and I have never seen him this happy. The girl he was dating back then was a real piece of work. I see what he likes about you, you are real.”

  “That’s what he said earlier.” I remarked feeling silly for acting a bit too sensitive. “Now he won’t even speak to me.” I added gazing over at him still talking with Warren. He flashed his eyes at me briefly and turned his back to me.

  “He’s just as scared as you are, this is new for him. I heard him talking with Warren today after lunch, he told Warren that he feels he has met the one, his true love.” She smiled. “Yes, normally it can develop over time, but sometimes, sometimes you get one chance at real love and you just know. You can’t explain it, you just do.” She nudged me softly, “Take my advice, live for today, because you never know what’s lurking around the corner.” She let my hand go and stood, “I am going to get you glass of wine, maybe it will soften those nerves a little.”

  “Thank you, Elisa,” I smiled and watched as she walked towards the bar.

  I turned around and looked at the water again. Inside I was quaking with fear, fear of losing Alec, of never having this with anyone ever again. Fear that I could never possibly mean anything to anyone for the rest of my life. Yes, it was kind of foolish to fall in love with someone after a few days but I had, I knew my heart and trusted my heart, Alec was in my life now and regardless of what everyone else thought, he was perfect, he was perfect for me and loved me as much as I loved him. This is what I had been dreaming of, this is what I wanted.

  A glass of white wine appeared at my side, I looked up and saw Alec, his lips were white and he looked concerned, his hand almost shook as he held the glass there in front of me. I took the glass and weakly said, “Thank you.”

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  “Yes,” I frowned and took a large mouthful of wine, it’s cool sweet taste danced in my mouth briefly before I forced it down. “Actually, no, no I am not alright, I am far from it.” He sat beside me and sipped his beer. “I am an idiot, Alec, an idiot for allowing my doubt and fears to get in the way and ruin a perfect evening.”

  “It’s not all your fault, I suppose I am quite impulsive when
it comes to you. I just want to bottle it all up and keep it forever.” He admitted, “I get it, Grace, I get that you are scared and believe it or not I am too. I am not above admitting that I may have rushed in all of this, but at the same time, I know what I want and that is you, always.” He slipped his hand into mine. “I think that I feel you have been locked up in this tower named Kevin and not seen anything or been anywhere and I feel I have to show you everything and more. I want this holiday to be the best you have ever had and I got carried away. I have to remember that you have been living in the real world, working and paying your bills, that you are not life deprived like a precious doll, you have just had a horrible time.”

  “That’s just it though, I do feel like I have been locked up somewhere, or in a coma even. I have done more and seen more with you in a few days than I have done in years. This is already the best holiday I have ever had and that’s because it brought me to you.” I swallowed and bit on my lip, “If it doesn’t work out, then we’ll always have LA.”

  He frowned intensely, “What can I do to prove to you that I mean all I say. That I don’t want to spend a single day without you, what will it take?”

  “Time,” I admitted.

  “Well, it just so happens that I have all the time in the world,” he smiled finally and leaned towards me, “Kiss me, Grace.”

  I moved my lips to his and kissed him as the waves crashed against the side of the boat and the sea breeze caused goose bumps to rage my body. I pushed my fingers into his hair as his tongue skimmed across mine. Our lips parted and I pressed my forehead to his. A song I recognised started playing. John Legend, All of Me, my favourite song.

  “Dance with me,” I told him. He stood and held out his hand. I placed my glass down and took his hand.

  We stepped onto the dancefloor and he took me into his arms. We began to move as the hairs on my arms lifted once more, but not from the breeze, but because we were creating electricity between us. Pressing his face against mine, we swayed to the music until he spun me around, then pulling me back to his chest where I rested me head on his shoulder. Tears filled my eyes because it was at that moment that I realized how lucky I was to have met him, call it fate, call it foolish, call it what you want. I loved this man implicitly and every minute of every hour that passed us by, I fell deeper and deeper in love with him.

  I vowed to try and not question my heart again, after all, if a heart that had been so beaten down and trodden in, was still strong enough to trust and love again, I had no choice but to trust it. My wounded heart had healed and now was a force to be reckoned with, I had no hope in hell of trying to fight it.

  Eight

  Driving back to the hotel, I sat quietly listing to the music playing from the stereo in the front of the car. Alec had drifted off to sleep at some point, obviously exhausted, he slept soundly a I gazed out of the window at the streets of LA. At least he had a couple of days off now, then a final meeting on Thursday in San Francisco.

  I couldn’t believe that I had flown half way across the world and met the man of my dreams. I felt I could anything and be anyone. He had made me so happy and now I had let go all of my inhibitions, I fully intended to make sure I stayed that way.

  Daniel stopped in front of our hotel as Alec startled away,

  “Sorry,” he sat up and blinked a couple of times.

  “You must be so tired.”

  “I am, I feel so relaxed too and it’s not because of the booze either.” He smiled sleepily.

  “Come on, let’s get you to bed.” I said.

  “Sounds good to me,” he grinned.

  “Huh, you were snoring your head off not a minute ago, you are going to bed, to sleep.” I added as Daniel opened the car door. “Thank you, Daniel, goodnight,” I smiled as I climbed out.

  “Goodnight, Miss, uh… Grace.” He replied. “Goodnight, Alec.”

  “Goodnight, Daniel.” Alec muttered and linked his arm in mine.

  Without even asking he punched in the code for the penthouse. I hadn’t assumed I would be spending the night with him in his suit, but excitement filled my belly, tired or not, at least he would see the underwear I put on for him, even if he didn’t get to play with it.

  When we got to his room he stepped out of the lift and kicked off his shoes and pulled open his shirt revealing his gorgeous chest. He went into the bathroom and I just stood there slightly confused and extremely concerned. Something felt different, he may have just been tired, but acted as if I wasn’t there.

  “Are you coming to bed?” he asked from the door of the bathroom.

  “I am actually considering going down to my room.” I replied.

  “What?” he frowned, “Why?”

  “You’re tired.” I muttered.

  “And we can sleep in the same bed without having sex you know.” He retorted. “But if you want to go to your room, then I can’t force you to stay.” He added sourly.

  “That’s right, so I suppose I’ll see you tomorrow then.” I snapped and walked back to the lift.

  “Grace…”

  “Goodnight, Alec.” I muttered and stepped into the lift quickly. Great, so I decided to stop being so scared and take a leap and he leaps too, only he leaps in the other direction.

  I stepped out of the lift on my floor and hurried to my room. Hanging the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on the handle before closing the door and locking it. I kicked off my shoes and removed my dress. I unclasped my bra and threw it across the room in temper. I knew I had been horrible and caused his bad mood, I wasn’t actually angry at him, I was angry at myself. I pulled a nightshirt over my head and climbed into bed. With my makeup still on and my hair pinned up, I didn’t think I would be able to sleep. As I lay in the darkness I allowed the pain this was causing to drown me, suffocating my lungs so much so that I could hardly breathe.

  Pushing off the covers I hurried over to the French doors and pushed them open, allowing the warm air to fill the air conditioned room. I walked out onto the balcony and gazed over the city. Sirens rang out and the occasional plane flew overhead, but other than that, the night was still with the unmissable song of crickets chirping all around me from the plants on the balcony and those in the hotel garden below me. I sat on one of the chairs and hooked my legs under me. With the sounds of night all around me, I rested my head on my hand and closed my eyes.

  “Grace, wake up,” someone shook me. I jumped awake to bright sunshine and Alec standing above me. “Did you sleep out here all night?” he asked still looking angry.

  “I might have,” I replied stretching out my painful arm. “Ouch!” I groaned at the pain.

  “Will that be all, Mr Richards?” a maid asked from the doorway.

  “Yes, thank you, Rosalina,” he smiled and handed her a twenty-dollar bill. I heard her leave and stood my aching body from the chair. “Why did you leave?”

  “Because you were being an arse.” I replied bluntly and walked back into my room.

  “You said I had to go to bed and sleep,” he followed. “I asked if you were coming to bed, that’s all.”

  “Did you go straight to sleep?”

  “No, I went for a swim because I knew I had upset you and I couldn’t relax. You wouldn’t answer your phone and when I knocked on the door, there was nothing. I was so worried that I couldn’t sleep and had to wait for a maid to come along this morning and let me in.” he explained. He looked tired more than angry as I allowed my eyes to gaze at him. “Last night was a disaster, okay? I was a total idiot and I am to blame. I got all arsy with you and I should have known that you would be concerned. That is no reason to leave me though, all I wanted was to hold you all night…”

  “Well then, neither of us got what we wanted then, did we?” I sighed and sat on the bed. I glanced at the bedside clock, “It’s only six a.m, maybe you should go and try and get some sleep now.” I suggested.

  “Are you coming with me?”

  “No,” I frowned.

  “Right then,” he
pushed off his jean shorts and climbed into my bed wearing just a t-shirt and boxers. “You are welcome to join me.”

  “I need to the loo.” I said and hurried into my bathroom. As I washed my hands I caught a glimpse of my face. My mascara had smudged around my eyes and my lipstick had stained my lips. I used my cleansing wipes to try and removed my makeup and brushed my teeth.

  Taking a deep breath, I opened to door to find him lying in my bed, his eyes wide open and staring at the ceiling. I walked around the bed and climbed in beside him. Resting my head against the pillow, I frowned.

  “What is it?” he asked.

  “This bed is the most comfortable bed I have ever slept in and I have already spent more nights out of it than in.”

  “How come?”

  “Well, the night I got trashed I slept on the bathroom floor, then we uh… well, the hotel and then your room and last night I spent the night in a flipping chair.”

  He turned on his side and pressed his lips to my shoulder. “I can’t sleep,” he moaned.

  “Neither can I,” I admitted.

  “I am sorry for last night; I never want to see you upset like that again.”

  “Is this a line so you can get into my knickers or are you truly sorry?” I asked.

  “A bit of both,” he smiled slightly. His phone rang before I could say anything back. He lifted his shorts from the floor and picked up the phone, “Emily,” he frowned. “Hey, are you okay?” he flashed his eyes at me. “Of course I remembered.” He said and sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. “I can’t help my job.” He added. “Well, I will go up there as soon as I get back.” He sighed, “I know that, I am well aware of the fact, actually.” He straightened his back, “What difference does it make if I go today or in a couple of weeks?” he demanded angrily. “It’s not as if they’ll know, is it? It’s not like it will bring them back.” I could hear her yelling, but not what she was saying. I sat up and moved in behind him staring at his back, I placed my hand on his shoulder to try and comfort him somehow. “Emily, I am sorry, okay? Sorry I am not there, again, sorry that you feel like you are the only one who cares. Just remember though, they were my parents too and if I want to take them flowers I will, but not just because it’s their anniversary… I’m going, I said I am going. I am not fourteen anymore, sis, you can’t speak to me like this… goodbye.” He ended the call and heaved another sigh.