Heart Broken

by Sarah Alabaster

  “Look Paul, what we had was great for a while, and I enjoyed being with you, but it just didn’t work out. I figure even without the added pressure of this whole mess, we still probably wouldn’t have worked out.”

  “Why do you say that? You don’t know that!”

  His tone started to become defensive, but I couldn’t really blame him for anything.

  “I know because when Roger and I got back together, I knew we were meant to be together. For however long it lasts, I know I’m supposed to be with him.”

  Just then, Roger walked into the room, probably to make sure everything was okay. His jealousy was a concern to me, but he seemed to take our talking in stride. Whether it was the situation that had brought us all together or Roger finally realizing he had to trust me to keep me by his side, who knew? All that mattered was that he didn’t get angry just because I was talking with my ex.

  “Everything okay over here?”

  Roger walked straight up to me, tucking me into his side. Then he kissed the top of my head and wrapped his arm around me.

  “Yeah,” I said, looking up at him.

  Men and their egos.

  “I just had to apologize for leaving her the way I did. It was a pretty shitty move on my part, and I wanted to say I was sorry.”

  Nodding, Roger watched as I removed myself from his side and walked up to Paul for a hug. It was a platonic hug, but I felt guilty that everyone was here, and I wanted to show how much I cared about everyone involved.

  “It’s okay, like I said…” Turning, I winked at Roger. “It all worked out as it should have.”

  Roger smiled and pulled me back into his arms, kissing me as though he owned me. He obviously wanted to show Paul that he was with me now, even though the point was moot.

  “I get it.”

  And with those words, Paul walked out the room.

  ***

  “So, we’re going back?” Bethany wasn’t all that excited with this plan, and she had no problem voicing her concerns. “Just like that? With no one arrested? When someone may still kill you, or any one of us? That’s your plan? Have you completely gone insane?”

  “I can’t take this anymore!” I had tried for over an hour to explain where I was coming from, and why going back to our lives was a good idea. “You can’t tell me you want to keep staying here? We don’t even know if he will come for us here! I just want my life back.”

  “I can understand that. So do I, but Clara, think this through. He can come for any one of us at any time. What makes you think he won’t get you or any of us when we go back?”

  She had a point, and this was something that Roger and I had talked about all night. Weighing the odds, and realizing either way that if he wanted us killed, he would come for us no matter where we were.

  “Look, you can stay here under what looks like protection, while our lives pass us by, or we can keep the protection and go back to living.” I looked at each person in the room. “I, for one, choose living. I know you’re worried. Hell, I’m scared to death, too, but what good is that doing for any of us? We’re locked away in these cabins, with guards stationed throughout the facility. If he wants to find me, or any of us, the location isn’t going to matter much to him.”

  I had a point, and they all knew it, but no one liked it.

  “I see what you’re saying, Clara, but I don’t know if going back to living however long a life we have left is going to help anything.”

  Brian held Bethany close and pulled her into his chest tighter.

  “Well, Roger and I are leaving today. The rest of you have the full support of the police to do whatever you feel is right for you.”

  Pulling Roger up from the couch, we made our way back to our cabin. Bags already packed, we intended on loading the car and leaving right this minute, if possible.

  When we left the room, I could hear everyone talking at once. It sounded like they realized that I had a few valid points. Getting back to living needed to be done, no matter how frightened we all were. Bethany and Brian eventually talked it over with Detective Michaels, who put extra men on to shadow them until this person was caught.

  “Let’s go home,” I said as I closed the cabin door.

  “I’m with you, sweetheart.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  There was something I realized when I was faced with making decisions that impacted the rest of my life and the way I lived it. I thought about how I chose my friends. I thought about why I loved who I loved, and those I chose to hang around with. I decided how I wanted to live my life, and what made me happy. Then I did all those things in whatever way I wanted, because after all, it was my life to live, however I saw fit.

  When we returned to our apartments, Bethany and I found them completely tossed. Everything we’d left behind was either smashed or slashed. The police were useless in determining how this could have happened with all the added security, and we knew the killer would for us sooner or later.

  Who was I kidding? He was coming for me. We all knew it, but my friends at least were supportive enough to come for the ride. Hopefully, it wouldn’t get them killed in the process.

  That weighed on me the most. Any one of them could get hurt or killed because they chose to stay around me. I tried to get them to leave, but no one would budge. Security was amped up throughout the campus, and the building security systems were upgraded to include additional sensors, seeing as how this guy seemed to have the ability to walk through walls and get anywhere he wanted to go.

  From the moment I’d stepped onto this campus, I felt an instant connection with Bethany. We were sisters in every way except blood. We were also predetermined to be friends; it just was a given. When I’d met Roger, I knew we’d be together. I never dreamed we would be this in love, but fate had a way of working past our own preconceived notions of how things should be. Roger had found a place in my heart, and our relationship remained stronger than ever. Paul and I were meant to be friends, too. Our chemistry fizzled fast with all this craziness going on, but our friendship remained strong. Classes were hard enough without the added distraction of constantly looking over your shoulder, but hiding was no longer an option for us, so we dealt with it the best we could.

  ***

  I was sitting at the coffee shop sipping my hot chocolate, watching the snow fall onto the trees in the distance. It looked pretty, the crisp white that blanketed the branches and the ground below, but the idea of walking back into the cold sent chills up and down my spine. I decided to continue to sip my cocoa instead, enjoying the feel of the hot liquid as it slid down my throat. The rich taste of the silky chocolate on my tongue was orgasmic in oh so many ways. Closing my eyes, I relished the feeling and moaned quietly, so as to not draw attention to myself.

  Suddenly a man cleared his throat to gain my attention. I could sense he was standing over me.

  “Excuse me, miss?”

  Not wanting to open my eyes and lose this moment of bliss, I answered softly.

  “Yes?”

  “I was wondering if I could use this chair?”

  “Sure, no one is sitting there. Go ahead.”

  “You sure about that?”

  Now I had to open my eyes.

  Gee, buddy, take a hint—and the chair—and go already.

  “Yeah, I’m sure. Feel free to take the chair.”

  “Thank you.”

  With those words, he moved the chair to the table across from me and started a discussion with the gentleman sitting there.

  Back to my bliss.

  Closing my eyes yet again, I took another sip of my delicious drink, basking in the sensations it provided as it caressed its way down my throat. I finally felt a sense of peace, for the first time in a long time.

  I finished my drink, collected my things, and headed home. The sky was a kaleidoscope of colors, with shades of orange and red as the sun set over the buildings of the campus. I made my way through the maze of sidewalks that led to my building, enjoying the sof
t pellets of snow that hit my face. Twirling around, hands in the air, I basked in the sensations, loving every moment.

  Inside my building, I collected my mail, making it to the apartment without interruption. That was slightly unusual, but I didn’t think too much about it. Normally neighbors would be around, engaging me in conversation while I collected my mail, but today, everything was quiet.

  Opening the door to my apartment, I tossed my keys in the bowl on the side table next to the door, thumbing through my mail as I kicked off my shoes. I made my way into the living room toward the sofa. Once my shin made contact with the sofa cushion, I twirled around, collapsing into the cushions, still holding several envelopes. I sighed in contentment. Today had been the perfect day, and after not having one of those in so long, the feeling was exhilarating, to say the least.

  After spending nearly an hour enjoying the calm, I began to drift to sleep. Suddenly a bang caused me to jump. With wide eyes and furrowed brows I got up to figure out where the noise was coming from. Making my way through the apartment, I opened and closed every door, checking every window in the process. The shadows played across the wall with illuminated lights that filtered through the glass as cars made their way down the nearby street.

  Seriously need to get a grip here.

  Checking the newly installed alarm one more time, I decided that my imagination was probably getting the better of me, so I made my way into the kitchen to make dinner.

  This was one of those rare occasions that called for celebration. It had been weeks since we’d returned to our lives without incident. Weeks of constantly looking over our shoulders and having to worry about what might be lingering in the shadows. I picked at the contents in my fridge, deciding what to make. I finally felt as though I was taking back control of my life. Everything seemed to be falling back into place. I had beat down my demons and conquered the side trackers all before finishing my second year at college.

  Take that!

  I pulled out the ingredients for my meal, all the while humming my favorite tune.

  A feeling of euphoria took hold once again when the grades came in for my classes—all of which I was soaring through nicely. At this rate, honors were just around the corner. With the free time I hadn’t considered in forever, as well as a social life with new friends, how could things possibly get any better?

  ***

  “Would you like to go with me to the club tonight?” Logan asked me as we were leaving class one afternoon.

  “You mean like a date?”

  “Well… yeah?”

  “Um, look Logan, I’m in a relationship, so I can’t. But thanks.”

  “Okay, no dating, I get it. How about we just hang out with everyone then? You, me, Bethany, Brian, and everyone else. How about that?”

  “That I could do. When?”

  “We were thinking tonight around eight. Wanna meet us at the club?”

  “Sounds good. Oh, and Logan?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Thanks.”

  “No problem. See you later.”

  Bethany and Brian were introducing me to all sorts of new friends, which I loved. Distractions like this on weekends were right up my alley. It was simple fun, and so much better without the worries of having to consider what a boyfriend would think about my behavior these past few months.

  Just thinking about how Roger would react to things like Logan asking me out sent chills down my spine. Crazy as it may have sounded, at one time I would have jumped at the chance to date someone like him—handsome, sweet, and oh so much fun to hang around with, but I had just got my life back on track.

  Picking up my phone, I sent Roger a text about the club, and a note for him to meet there.

  Roger: Sounds good. Be careful.

  Clara: Yes, of course, baby.

  ***

  When eight rolled around, I made my way to the club where all my friends were gathered to get their minds off the worries of homework, tests, and work pressure. The normal things people worried about in college—not killers trying to hurt you and those you cared about. Making a pact when we had returned, Bethany and I had decided on something. No one was allowed to talk about such horrible things when we got together. It was a rule, and we respected our rules. No talking school—or psychos—while out at the club.

  I stepped through the doors and was making my way toward the group when out of nowhere that feeling of being watched returned, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

  No! Not now. I just want to have a good time.

  Ignoring the feeling, as well as the alarm bells going off in my head, I sat next to Bethany and ordered a soda from the server who was taking everyone’s drink order.

  “So, Clara, where have you been lately?”

  “Just getting work done before finals. You know how it is.”

  “Yeah, but still, you need to take some time off once in a while. Gotta chill, otherwise you’ll make yourself crazy.”

  Laughing, I took a sip of my drink.

  “I get it. Too much work makes Clara a…”

  “Poor drunk?”

  Everyone around them burst out laughing.

  “Oh, Clara, don’t let him poke at you. He needs a job.”

  Talking about their friend Erik was her friend Jamie’s way of staying on his radar. I had a feeling Jamie liked Erik, but the feelings seemed to be either not mutual, or he was completely oblivious. Erik chuckled at Jamie’s comment, staring at me as though he had just realized something.

  Oblivious it is, then!

  I couldn’t help but almost laugh out the drink I’d just took.

  Not getting the joke, or uneasy with being the punch line, Jamie grabbed her drink, making her way toward the rest of the group at the other table, who were playing shuffleboard. After several minutes watching her, Erik excused himself, following right behind her.

  “You think he’ll figure it out anytime soon?”

  “I sure hope so. She really likes him, and seeing her unhappy as she watches him flirt with everyone but her is killing my buzz.”

  “I bet! I haven’t been around enough, but just this one encounter has me contemplating shots.”

  “Shots it is!”

  “Oh, no!”

  “But you said?”

  “I said contemplating, not that I would actually do it.”

  “Come on! Just tonight?”

  “Please.”

  “Are you seriously begging me to do shots?”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay, okay. I’ll do one shot with you.”

  “One!”

  “One what?”

  Roger stood behind my chair, kissing me on the head.

  “Shot,” I stated matter-of-factly.

  “One, Clara.”

  Roger turned me to face him.

  “I mean it.”

  “Fine.”

  “Hey, no shot at all then!” he said, jokingly pulling me into his hold.

  “Sorry, sorry, I’ll stop. One shot it is, but I get to pick the shot.”

  “Oh, God, what have I gotten myself into?” Bethany chimed in, knowing I was horrible at picking alcoholic beverages.

  “Why don’t you pick the shot then, since you always say I suck at picking booze?”

  “This will be fun. Let me think. Hmmm.”

  Tapping her finger on her lower lip with her eyes looking toward the ceiling, Bethany turned her head slightly as she thought of different shots.

  I could practically see the steam leaving her ears as that engine of a brain of hers worked though the problem.

  “Well? What’ll it be?”

  “I got it!”

  Excited, she jumped off the barstool, making her way to the bar for the shots. In this state, the legal drinking age was eighteen, so with us both being nineteen, we were well old enough to drink whatever we’d like. Returning with two shots in hand, I looked at her perplexed as Bethany placed one in front of me on the table.

  “What the he
ck is this thing?”

  The whipped cream didn’t make the shot seem alcoholic at all, but I knew Bethany well enough to know better.

  “It’s a ‘blow job.’”

  Roger coughed so hard he nearly choked on his drink.

  “No hands, just use your mouth. And you have to swallow it in one swig.”

  “Are you serious? What the hell did you do?”

  “Fuck Bethany!”

  Whispering into my ear, Roger’s hot breath tickled me, causing goosebumps to form up my arm. “Do it, baby. Let me watch.”

  I could tell he was getting hard just thinking about me swallowing the drink.

  “I got us shots. What’s the problem?” Bethany asked as she watched us practically consume one another in a lustful meltdown that we could barely contain.

  “You got us blow jobs! I can’t believe you did that!” I exclaimed, trying to tamper down his hormones and my excitement.

  “What? You’ll love it! I had four the other night with Brian.”

  “What you two do behind closed doors is none of our concern.”

  “Oh, shut up and do the shot. You know what I meant.”

  Laughing and shoving at me, Bethany put her hands behind her back, opened her mouth wide enough to encircle the shot glass, and tipped her head back, taking the shot with her along the way. In one swallow, she finished the drink, returning the glass back to the table.

  “See, easy-peasy. Now, your turn.”

  Roger swallowed so hard I could see his throat move from the action. His erection pressed against my thigh. My panties were so soaked I was afraid to stand from my seat.

  “Fantastic, thanks a lot.”

  “No problem, now quit stalling and drink!”

  Several of our friends came back to the table, wanting to witness me take down the BJ shot.

  Perverts.

  Putting my hands behind my back and opening my mouth wide, I took the contents in one swig. With little effort, I swallowed the shot whole, placing the glass back on the table afterward.

  “Fuck me, we need to go,” Roger teased against my ear, making me laugh.