Kaleidoscope Summer (Samantha's Story)

by Garcia, Rita

  “Are you excited about your play date with Precious?” If a swish of her tail meant yes, she was shouting it for all to hear.

  Dr. Ellie swung the door wide. “Hi, Sam.” She lowered her eyes to my furry companion. “And hello to you, Miss Goldie. Precious is waiting with treats out on the deck.” I smiled at the way she talked to my little dog, a sign of a true animal lover.

  I followed her out the back door and poured a cup of the waiting tea. “I thought about canceling our session today.” I angled my chair toward hers.

  “When we sense being on the edge of a breakthrough, it’s often accompanied with a level of discomfort.”

  “I’d think it would be the opposite. Success is a good thing, right?”

  “Yes. But, it can also require us to change our paradigm, to view our situation in a different light. It can thrust us right out of our snug little cocoons.” She reached for an envelope next to her chair. “I printed out a blank puzzle and cut out all the pieces. I’m going to write a name on each piece. When I show you a piece, I want you to tell me about each person or situation. How your feelings may have been altered once you acquired more information. The first one is your adoptive parents—let’s begin with when you learned about the adoption.”

  “I felt betrayed. But in our sessions, I began to see how they nurtured me during my childhood. Their opinions of Anne were harsh, but they are my real parents—other than giving life to me. I do wish they’d been open about the adoption.”

  She made notes on the puzzle piece. “The next one is your biological mother.”

  “Rejected, unwanted, unloved. But I learned when Anne became pregnant, that she didn’t have the needed support from her family. Her father insisted on the adoption. Daniel left her to deal with the repercussions of the pregnancy. I’ve come to believe she loved me and wanted me. And there’s something else I’ve realized. In a society where it has become a choice—she chose to give me life.”

  “Great insight. Now, your grandparents.”

  “They provided food and shelter for Anne but apparently it ended there. They weren’t there for her emotionally. I think my grandmother tried, but my grandfather wouldn’t allow it. I’m convinced she regrets not standing up to him—although I doubt it would’ve made any difference. My grandfather is apparently dealing with his own misgivings. I’m happy to be a part of their lives. I hope in some way it brings the closure Anne would have wanted.”

  “Your biological father.”

  “An irresponsible jerk. He walked away without a backward glance. I’ve read his letter of apology to Anne—it’s not enough, not for me.”

  “Can you elaborate? Why isn’t it enough?”

  “That’s where the confusion comes in. I understand he was young—a senior in high school. I told Audra much the same thing—it was a teenager’s irresponsibility. It’s difficult to ignore the far-reaching repercussions of his actions. Anne was deprived of her baby.”

  “What do you want from him?”

  “What can he do? He can’t go back and change the past.” A heavy sigh brushed my lips. “I’m still trying to rewrite history.”

  “What about Audra?”

  “The bright light in all of this is finding my sister. I want to spend more time with her. But I haven’t figured out how to forgive Daniel and definitely haven’t reached the place of embracing him, he’s nothing more than a sperm donor.” I was thankful she hadn’t mention the letter she’d suggested I write—I hadn’t bothered. Why couldn’t I reach out and forgive him?

  She handed me a glue stick and a piece of construction paper with the outline of a puzzle on it. “See if you can fit the pieces together and paste them on the paper. Except for the one with Daniel’s name.”

  I stuck each piece in place until it lacked one piece to complete the diagram. I picked up the piece with Daniel written on it. “Until I can deal with this piece, I can’t let go of the past?”

  She nodded. “When we hold the root of bitterness inside us, it never remains stagnant—it continues to grow. Clinging to the past allows it to hold us prisoner, prevents us from moving forward.”

  “It always comes back to forgiveness.” The increase in my pulse rate along with nausea in my stomach said run, but a surge of courage pushed me to work through this. I looked at the almost completed puzzle, and clung to hope.

  Dr. Ellie looked at me. I was about to be challenged. “Let’s talk about Daniel. You’ve shown concern for how he left Anne. What about you?”

  My thoughts took their time morphing into words. “He didn’t want me.” I brushed a tear from my cheek. “His rejection cuts the deepest, because he didn’t even look back. Why does he deserve my forgiveness?” Close to sobbing, I inhaled a deep breath in a futile attempt to control my emotions.

  “When we extend forgiveness to others, we are set free. Forgiveness benefits the one giving much more than the one receiving.” She shifted in her seat. “I will add one other thought. I’m a few years older and it’s possible I see youth differently from my vantage point. The impetuousness of youth can often overshadow the making of good decisions”

  Samantha nodded. “My first year of college I did some pretty stupid stuff. Thanks to my parents I got back on the right track, they made sure of it.”

  “The Lord’s Prayer says, ‘And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.’ Forgiveness requires a leap of faith—it can require us to relinquish the bitterness our humanness wants to hold on to.”

  Relief surged through me, as though God had reached in, grabbed hold of the bitterness and yanked it out, the same way I’d watched Maggie weed her garden—making sure to pull out the whole root. I was filled with an overwhelming sense of His presence. “Will you pray with me?” My knees felt the roughness of the planks as we knelt in prayer. I thanked God for the willingness to forgive. His love embraced me, as He stripped away the bondage of the past.

  Dr. Ellie pushed up from the floor. “Congratulations, we’ve completed our final session. I’m very proud of you.” She handed me the final puzzle piece. I reached over, dabbed glue on it, and completed the puzzle.

  “Bring it over here.” She jiggled open the metal gate on an old pot-bellied stove gracing a corner of the deck. “A way of affirming your freedom to move forward.”

  I placed the completed puzzle inside. She handed me a lit candle and I touched the flame to the edge of the paper. I watched it roll, each end toward the middle, and turn into blackened ash. “I let go of the past and give it to God.” I beamed a smile at Dr. Ellie and gave her an exuberated hug. “Thank you.”

  “You did the work. I merely listened and guided you.” She and Precious stood in the opened doorway, and we exchanged waves before I drove away.

  Goldie and I returned to the inn. I kicked off my shoes and before I lost my resolve, I sat at the secretary desk in my room. On a piece of the inn’s stationery, I wrote a letter to Daniel. The letter needed to be one of forgiveness, not casting of blame. So I kept it short, placed it in an envelope and added postage. Goldie and I scampered downstairs where I dropped it in the mailbox near the reception desk. I’d heard people talk about feeling a physical weight lift. I now understood. I felt light and free as a soft summer breeze floating on to shore.

  The grounds of the inn beckoned, but I needed to get ready for my dinner with Logan. We arrived at the curved stairway at the precise moment Maggie placed her espadrille-clad foot onto the first step with a garment bag draped over her arm. “Maggie! What a delightful surprise.”

  She nodded in my direction, with her coppery spirals bouncing. “I was on my way up to visit you.”

  We ascended the stairs together. “You’re here to see me?” Had she talked to Dr. Ellie? No. Dr. Ellie would never break a confidence, no matter how close she and Maggie are. “What about?”

  “I have something for you.” She lifted the garment bag. The hallway ended at the double doors of my suite.

  “Come in.” Curiosity released butterflies into my
mid-section. I held the door as Maggie entered and making herself at home, called room service.

  “This is going to look fabulous on you.” From the shape of her lips, the emphasis was on fabulous. She worked the hanger loose from the garment bag, revealing a gorgeous dress.

  “I love the color.” The silky softness of the fabric felt sensual. I held it up under my chin.

  “Go. Go try it on.” She clapped as though applauding herself for a job well done.

  Still holding it against me, I swirled in front of the mirror. “Where will I ever wear it?” In answer, she handed me matching sapphire satin slippers. Oh, I get it. They remembered my birthday—I’ll play along.

  She waved her arm. “Hurry. I want to see it on you.”

  Goldie jumped up and Maggie answered the door as I went into the bedroom to change.

  Maggie gasped as I came back into the room. “Wow, it’s more stunning than I imagined.”

  I smiled at the server who had come in to set up our tea. “Ma’am, that is a lovely gown—the exact color of your eyes.”

  “Thank you.” I twirled a couple of times before I padded back into the other room to change. I put on a comfy silk robe, returned to the sitting room and poured the tea. “It’s the most beautiful dress I’ve ever worn.”

  “Logan said you’re having dinner at his house tonight. I thought you’d enjoy dressing up.” She bit into a tea biscuit. “Why don’t I drive you?” The look of satisfaction glowed in her eyes.

  Right, and I suppose she isn’t going to join the party. By sheer industrial-strength will, I refrained from laughing, not wanting to reveal I’d caught on to her scheme.

  “Maggie, I want you to be the first to know, well, other than Dr. Ellie. I’ve made peace with the past for the first time since finding out about my adoption.”

  “Then why are you leaving?” Her eyes filled with concern as her expression questioned my sanity.

  Without giving voice to my reasons—ones I no longer believed—I simply changed the subject. “If I don’t hurry I’ll be late.” Can’t be late to my own birthday party. Smugness wasn’t in short supply, knowing I had figured out her little scheme.

  “Okay, but we will finish this conversation later. You go shower and I’ll help with your hair. In the meantime, Goldie can play with her Aunt Maggie.”

  With my back to the spray, I allowed it to soak my hair. Tears mixed with the water. I don’t want to leave. I love Logan. Father, please show me Your will.

  ***

  Maggie stopped and waited for the magnificent gates to open. She pulled up near the garage and stopped. “Logan wants you to meet him on the bluff.” She reached across the console and placed her hand on my arm. “Sam, think with your heart. I’m praying for God to direct your steps.”

  I leaned across the seat and gave her a hug, not quite sure what she was up to. “I love you, Maggie.” I climbed out of her red convertible and waited as Goldie hopped down.

  Past the garage, under the star-speckled evening sky, I followed the path until the bluff spread out before me. It suddenly looked as if a fairy tale had come alive straight from the pages of a storybook. The cliff glowed. I slowed my steps and inched closer. Hundreds of white pillar candles with flames reaching to touch the stars. Red roses blossomed in crystal vases among the candles. An archway led to a table with two chairs draped in white silk, set on the edge of the bluff overlooking the rolling sea.

  Tears spilled from my eyes as I saw him standing there—dressed in a polo shirt and finely creased slacks, holding a single red rose.

  He handed me the rose, took my hand and led me down the path layered with tiny pebbles. He stopped, pulled a bloom from one of the bouquets and placed it on Goldie’s vest.

  Off to the side, a string quartet strummed their instruments, and I imagined melodies of romance. Although I couldn’t hear the sounds, I’d once told him I loved watching musicians as they played. He remembered. “Logan. This is amazing.”

  He leaned in and touched his lips to mine. “You are beautiful. When I first saw you coming toward me, you took my breath away. Come walk with me.”

  He led me to where the view of the water gave the impression of going on forever. The moon cast its light over the waves as if a strobe had been turned on. He pulled me closer and looked into my eyes. “I never want to lose you. If that means we live in Stone Valley, then Stone Valley it is.” I lowered my head as he slipped down on his knee. “Samantha. I love you. Will you marry me—will you be my wife?”

  The air wouldn’t release from my chest. I closed my eyes, wanting to get this right. I couldn’t say the words.

  He still held my hand as he rose from where he’d knelt on the ground. “Will you be my wife?” He slipped a ring on my finger.

  I felt the final shreds of doubt fall away. “I love you, Logan.” I gazed at the gold ring, set with diamonds and sapphires. “Yes. I’ll marry you. On one condition.”

  “As long as we’re together.” As he drew me closer, I knew I was right where I belonged.

  “I want us to live right here at Villa del Sueños.”

  His lips melted into mine. Happiness bubbled from my soul. The pieces fit because they all had one thing in common—they belonged to the past. The present was filled with a future and a hope and most of all, new beginnings.

  Epilogue

  Six Months Later…

  We waited until crimson and gold burst into flames on the horizon. I linked my arm inside my grandfather’s. I felt like a princess in my grandmother’s flowing wedding gown. The delicate beaded lace had required some mending, but wearing it was symbolic of making peace with the past. My veil softly stirred in the whispered breeze as we moved toward the bluff.

  Maggie and Audra, dressed in stunning black gowns and carrying bouquets of white roses, preceded us. Jeannie, Thelma’s five-year-old granddaughter, strolled ahead of us, scattering rose petals. I paused and presented my grandmother with a long-stem red rose, nodded to Dr. Ellie sitting with Precious in the same row, and smiled at her thumbs-up.

  At the end of the white satin pathway, Logan waited with Alec and Mark. Dressed in black tuxedos, they made a handsome trio. Only one filled up my senses. My eyes locked with Logan’s as I took my place by his side.

  Goldie sat next to me with a bouquet of miniature roses tucked into her vest. She kept sneaking a peek at Wolf sitting off to the side with Julia. Pastor Jim stood with a golden glow behind him. I tried to concentrate on reading his words, but I couldn’t get over the fact we were really standing there, Logan and I, hand in hand. Logan nudged me, and I handed my bridal bouquet of red roses to Maggie so we could exchange rings.

  Pastor Jim nodded to Logan and I waited for him to take my right hand the way we had practiced. Instead, he lifted his hands and recited his wedding vows to me in sign language. The tears streamed, my heart overflowing with love as I recited my vows to him. We became husband and wife. And then he kissed me.

  Pastor Jim stood to the side as we faced our guests. I watched his lips form the most endearing of phrases for the first time. “I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Logan Edward Delatorre.” We escaped down the white satin pathway in a shower of rose petals.

  Magically, the bluff became covered with tables and chairs. Servers carrying silver dome-covered trays served the guests. A long table held a towering cake, compliments of Julia.

  Logan led me to the dance floor, which was set up with speakers underneath to create a vibration from the music. I stepped into my husband’s waiting arms. With the train of my gown swirling about my feet, we waltzed under the stars. Fairy tales didn’t end any happier.

  Other couples began joining us. Doc, debonair as always, gave Evelyn a turn around the floor. Brandon and Rachel swirled past us, totally absorbed in each other. We stopped and enjoyed watching Thelma and Fred add in a few fancy moves. Their son Mark and his wife, Carrie, gave them a little competition. The biggest surprise came when Maggie didn’t notice us as she swished by, her eyes smiling into P
astor Jim’s. Zack and Jezzica drifted by, and I giggled at the annoyed look she gave him.

  The evening ended all too soon. I pitched my bridal bouquet over my shoulder and turned to find Jezzica holding it, as if I’d tossed her a Fourth of July sparkler. I secretly wished Maggie had caught it. But God didn’t need my help.

  We said goodbye to our guests and stopped beside my grandparents’ table. They sat with Betsy, who now lived with them. Gently, I hugged my grandmother. “I love you.” I hoped my voice delivered the words as sweet, warm, and caring as I felt.

  “Seeing you in your grandmother’s gown, brings back memories of the only bride more stunningly beautiful than you are today.” My grandfather winked at his wife, and put his arms around me. “Love ya, Sami girl.”

  “I love you, too.” A moment I would always treasure.

  Audra and Maggie waited near the pathway, and I turned to say an extra goodbye as we were leaving. A few steps more and I noticed Daniel. He clasped my offered hand between both of his, the same way he had the first time we met. “You look beautiful. Thank you for allowing me to share your special day.”

  Every thing in it’s own time. “A day of new beginnings.” Where Daniel was concerned, I was taking small steps. I leaned in and whispered in his ear. “Take care of Audra and my little niece or nephew.” I could feel the smile beaming from my face at the thrill of becoming an aunt. I hugged Daniel and kissed his cheek.

  Finished with our goodbyes, Logan helped me tuck the layers of my gown inside the car and climbed in beside me. The limo drove down the extended driveway, out the gates and stopped. I was puzzled when Logan opened the door. Getting out, he invited me to join him. I waited for Goldie, and placed my hand in his. We stood in front of the gates, watching them swing closed. Scrolled on the iron gates in fancy script were the words Villa del Sueños Hermosos. House of Beautiful Dreams.

  Dr. Rita Garcia is a Clinical Christian Counselor. Her knowledge and passion for helping others provides realistic substance to the counseling woven into her stories. The theme that permeates her writing is: Love, lit by the flame of hope. Romance is a big part of her novels. Hope is an even larger element of the stories. Rita and her husband reside in Southern California.