The Hawks_A Novel

by SD Hendrickson

  The house was dark with the exception of the moonlight trickling through the windows. I stepped barefoot down the hallway. I heard Elmore’s loud snore as I passed their suite. Virginia said her husband had sounded that way since the first night they’d spent together. After decades of the noise, she didn’t even notice it anymore.

  Closing the side patio door, I tiptoed across the paver stones and onto the patio. I heard the splashing before I saw the water and then Javier came into view. A sweet little rush went through my stomach. I walked to the edge of the pool. His arms moved in powerful strokes as he reached the wall. Disappearing under the surface, his legs pushed in a quick turn and he resurfaced again with the next lap—bold and athletic as he cut through the water with precision.

  So this must be what made him look so good. The guy had downplayed his abilities the other night when I’d asked if he liked to swim. But I wondered how much time Javier actually got to spend in the water these days with his schedule—because this guy had skills that only came from years of practice.

  I smiled, watching his body move, feeling a mix of attraction and admiration as he crossed to the other side of the pool. His head went below the surface again, a quick flip, and then he swam back in my direction with another set of deep strokes.

  Javier grabbed the edge next to my feet. Water ran down his face as he pushed his dark hair back with the other hand. He flashed a cocky grin at me. “Do you find it funny to watch a man swim without his permission?”

  I couldn’t help but laugh as he threw my own line back at me. “Well, if he didn’t want someone to watch, he shouldn’t splash so much. I heard you all the way in my room. I thought an animal was drowning.”

  “I don’t believe you. I think you came out here to find me.”

  “Hmm,” I scoffed and pursed my lips. “I can’t control what you believe.”

  His grin spread a little wider. “No, you can’t. But here you are, accidentally by the pool. So join me, hermosa.”

  “Join you in swimming laps? I don’t think I’d be much competition for you.”

  “No laps.” He shook his head. “But the water’s perfect tonight. You should see how it feels against your skin.”

  His suggestion caused a warm buzzy feeling. This wasn’t fair. He was just too damn irresistible for his own good. My lips quivered as I tried to suppress a smile. I knew what would happen if I got in the pool. The casual flirting would shift into kissing. And then eventually lead to touching. I wouldn’t be able to resist him.

  I hesitated, knowing I could jeopardize everything. I couldn’t risk my job. I had to keep my head in the game. But I could say those words a hundred times right now and it wouldn’t matter. I’d already made this decision when I put on this suit and came in hopes of finding him.

  It’ll be okay, I tried to convince myself. Spending time with Javier wouldn’t change anything as long as I was careful.

  Untying my belt, I slipped the cover-up off my shoulders and let it fall next to my bare feet. His gaze drifted over my breasts and down to the curve of my hips to the red polish on my toes. I wasn’t nervous. I’d always been very comfortable with my body. I didn’t need his approval. But I did enjoy the reaction on his face. He liked what he saw in front of him.

  Javier reached up a hand. “Let me help you.”

  “Thanks.” I took his fingers and then stepped off the ledge. A trust fall. His arm went around my waist in a quick catch. The water stopped just below my shoulders. He held my body loosely against his side—just a step to the left and I would be flush with his chest.

  Javier smiled at me. “So what do you think? Does the water feel good tonight?”

  “I haven’t decided yet.” I gave him a smirk and turned out of his grasp, pushing out into the water.

  I heard a faint laugh as Javier followed me. “I didn’t think you could swim?”

  “I said I couldn’t beat you. Not that I couldn’t swim.” We faced each other, floating a few feet apart. The dim lights at the bottom of the pool cast shadows beneath our feet. I could tread water. Maybe not with his endurance, but I could stay afloat for the moment with him.

  Javier moved a little closer. “How was your afternoon with your family?”

  “It was okay.” My eyes shifted from his gaze.

  “That doesn’t sound good.”

  “No, it’s fine.” I brushed off the inquiry.

  “Hey, you can talk, Sarina. Tell me about your family. I want to know more about you.”

  I chewed on my lip as I thought about what to share in regards to my family. I came from a different world than him, even if the guy didn’t grow up in this place. He saw me as someone else just because I walked the same halls. The surroundings had a way of changing the perception and camouflaging the truth.

  My smile faltered, but I decided the bare bones wouldn’t hurt. “My grandparents are getting old. My grams is the type who never meets a stranger. Brenda reminds me of her sometimes, I think. And my mama is . . . not well. She has trouble with her mind, but I think it started with her broken heart after my father passed away. The doctors say she has early dementia.”

  “I’m sorry. That must be very difficult.”

  “Yes. I love them all very much. But some days it’s hard to see them. I know it sounds strange to say. But it’s like it almost hurts.” I swallowed back the emotions.

  If I dwelled on the inevitable, I would never get anywhere in life. That’s how I ended up here tonight: swimming in this beautiful pool and not sleeping at my grandparents’ house with the windows raised because it cost too much for the air-conditioner to run twenty-four hours a day in a house with bad insulation—one of many things that cost too much for Granddaddy and Grams.

  But I was changing that for them. I still gave a fourth of my paycheck to them each week to help with expenses. Just like I did when I lived there. Except now, the amount was even more. I gave them a fourth. Put half in savings. And let myself splurge on the remaining fourth. I was doing the right thing. I was making things better for all of us.

  My legs continued to move under the surface, and our skin accidentally touched every so often. I looked back at Javier. He seemed so genuinely concerned and interested. I felt compelled to share a little more with him.

  “I have a brother too. Tyson also lives with my grandparents. Helps them out.”

  “So he’s a good brother?”

  “Yeah, he’s pretty awesome.” I smiled with pride. “One of the best, I think. He practically forced me to take this job. He knew how much I wanted it. I know people think I’m heartless for leaving him to handle things with my family. I’ve even had those words said to my face. But Ty and I understand each other. And that’s all that matters.”

  He stared at me, serious and unwavering. “When I look at you, Sarina, I don’t see someone who’s heartless.”

  “No?”

  “No. You’re kind to everyone here. You’re even kind to my grandmother. Even when she doesn’t deserve it.”

  A small laugh escaped my lips. “Well, she’s my boss. I’m paid to be nice to her.”

  “Maybe. But I think we’re not that different. I’m only nice to her because I respect the title of grandmother. And I’m also here for reasons that others don’t understand. But I know one day they will. I hope the same for you.”

  “Maybe,” I muttered.

  My arms and legs were aching and I needed to stop treading water before I sank to the bottom. Dipping under the surface, I swam to the side and emerged next to the wall where I could stand. I pulled in a gulp of air as I brushed the water from my face. I tasted salt. My tongue ran over my bottom lip, and I tasted it again. Not a trick of the mind.

  “It’s a saltwater pool.” I heard him say as he swam closer. With only two effortless strokes, Javier reached my side. His legs bumped mine as he stood next to me on the shallow edge.

  I slicked my hair back, but a few trickles of water ran down my face. I wiped it away, tasting the salt again on my lips
, and smiled at the sensation. “It’s like having a pretend in your backyard.”

  Javier nodded as if he agreed with my fantasy. His eyes were dark and enticing in the low light as his gaze drifted down between our bodies. I realized how close his chest was to mine. One deep breath and my breasts would rub against his bare skin. The short swim had my heart racing. Or maybe it was the way he studied the beads of water running down my cleavage like he wanted to touch them with his finger. And then I couldn’t hold back. My lungs burned from needing just a little more air. I pulled in a breath and our wet skin touched and then seperated as I exhaled.

  His eyebrows creased and Javier looked back into my eyes. “Have you ever been to the ocean, Sarina?”

  “I . . .” I took another breath, feeling his warm chest press firm against me and then disappear as I struggled to concentrate on his question. I wasn’t going to lie. I’d never seen the ocean or tasted real salt water or felt the sand beneath my toes. I’d never done much of anything. “No, I haven’t been to the real ocean. But maybe I will soon. Your grandmother offered me a bonus if I’m successful with the fundraiser. She promised a trip to her house in Turks and Caicos.”

  Javier touched my face, cupping my cheek in his hand. “It’s beautiful there.”

  “You’ve been to the beach house?” I mumbled the words, distracted by the fact that he was touching me, getting closer.

  “I went there a few years ago.” His thumb brushed my lips before leaning in. My eyes automatically shut, expecting him to kiss me. But he didn’t.

  “Eres muy hermosa,” Javier whispered.

  I could almost feel his lips touch mine, making me lose focus on his words—not that I knew Spanish. “What does that mean?”

  “Hermosa means beautiful. You didn’t know?”

  “No,” I whispered.

  Javier held my face with both hands, tilting my chin up. “Eres muy hermosa means . . . I think you’re very beautiful, Sarina.”

  This sweet man finally pressed his mouth against mine and then pulled back, tugging my bottom lip. He let go only to kiss me again. His lips supple and full as the faint whiskers on his jaw brushed my cheek.

  Our mouths moved slowly at first, learning the way we fit together. I tasted the salt from the pool mixing on our lips. With my eyes closed, I could almost imagine us in the real ocean. The water splashing against our skin. The sun warm on my back.

  His hands left my face and traced down my neck to my shoulders. The thrill of something new guided us closer, making each kiss a little bolder than the last. His tongue brushed the seam of my lips, teasing before slipping deeper. I kissed him back as we shifted into a steady rhythm, our mouths intertwining as our bodies only brushed beneath the water.

  I wanted to touch him—warm skin-to-skin contact. My hands ran up his chest until they rested behind his neck. I leaned flush against him, leaving nothing between us but my little bikini. He felt incredible. His body a mix of lean muscles and the distinct hardness pressing into my stomach. He put an arm around my waist while his other hand cupped my butt cheek, holding me in place against his hips. Nothing rough. Just kissing and touching, exploring the way we fit together.

  Maybe I should have pulled back. It was too fast. Too soon with someone else. But I liked the way Javier made me feel—like I was a rich glass of whiskey at the end of the day, sipped and savored.

  I ran my fingers through his hair. He made a little sound. I couldn’t tell if he said actual words or if it was a moan. His mouth grabbed my bottom lip, grazing it with his teeth. Our kisses grew urgent with lips connecting and tongues going deep. I eventually pulled back to get a breath of air.

  Javier studied me for a moment, desire still strong in his eyes. “Are you okay?”

  “Yes,” I whispered.

  “Do you want to stop?”

  I held onto his shoulders as our lips remained a breath apart. We still knew very little about each other—virtually strangers by most standards. But I believed the eyes spoke the truth of a person’s soul. The longer I looked at Javier, the more I knew only goodness reflected in those brown eyes. And no, I didn’t want to stop this from happening.

  I kissed him this time. He let me take control and I moved my lips, ending every pass with a flick of my tongue. Javier ran his hands over my waist, spreading his fingers out on each side. I knew what he was doing before it even happened. I stopped kissing him and leaned my shoulders back against the wall. His hands moved between us, caressing over my stomach and to my rib cage until he reached my breasts. They filled his palms as his fingers curved around each cup.

  Our eyes stayed on each other. The intimacy growing as his thumbs brushed over the shiny black fabric, sending shimmers of pleasure to my stomach. I smiled, letting out a sigh. I reached up to touch his face. The day’s growth of whiskers felt both rough yet velvety against my fingers. I traced over his bottom lip.

  “Come here,” he whispered. His mouth captured mine, harder this time and I got lost in the way he felt again.

  I liked kissing Javier. Way more than I should. I think time could slip away into oblivion. No regard for tomorrow. Just the perfect way he moved his lips down my neck. Small kisses until his mouth reached the edge of my swimsuit top. His eyes flickered up to mine. He wanted to take it off. A smile tugged at my mouth as I gave him a quick nod in agreement. I wasn’t even considering stopping now. The idea of his lips on my bare breast lit a sudden fire inside of me that took root in my stomach and went straight down between my legs. And then my thoughts took an even deeper turn. If he simply kissed like this, what else could he do with that mouth?

  “Ms. Atwood!” Her voice broke the silence of the night. It was a shrill bark that came from the intercom as her grandson felt me up in the pool.

  “Ignore her,” he whispered.

  “You know I can’t.”

  Javier sighed. “I know.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be.” Javier brushed my cheek with his thumb. “Just say you’ll come to my room when you’re finished with her.”

  I’d never been to where he lived in the house. It was on the second floor in the same wing as Mrs. Hawthorn’s. And suddenly the idea of going to his room made me feel unsure of my actions. He slept very close to the woman who controlled my future.

  I got hit with a wave of second thoughts. Reality sinking into the daydream of this moment with Javier. “I don’t know. Maybe we shouldn’t do this after all.”

  “Sarina,” he whispered as he looked into my eyes. “We’re already doing this. I’ve wanted to kiss you since that first day. You were so feisty. So beautiful. So sure of herself.”

  My lips relaxed into a whimsical smile at the memory of the sexy man who had irritated me at the most important moment of my life. “I wasn’t very nice to you.”

  “Sí. But I was making fun of you that day.”

  “Yes,” I whispered.

  “And I hid your car.” He kissed me, letting his mouth linger until my tongue ran over his bottom lip. His arms pulled me closer as he deepened the kiss. My reservations disappeared into how good this felt with him, like a slow dance and another shot of whiskey.

  “Ms. Atwood, have you fallen down the stairs and hit your head? Get to my study immediately. And bring a notepad.” I swear her sharp voice made the crickets stop chirping in the garden.

  Javier lifted me up by the waist, sitting my butt on the side of the pool. “Come find me when you’re finished.”

  “Find you where?”

  “In my room.” His lips brushed mine again. “Te quiero desnudo en mi cama.”

  “What does that mean?”

  He grinned. “Promise to come to my room, and I’ll show you.”

  I searched his eyes for the hidden meaning only to find Javier full of flirtatious secrets that made my thoughts rewind back to five minutes ago in the pool. I couldn’t wait to see him again. To let him finish our kiss.

  “Okay,” I whispered. “I’ll see you soon.”


  Rising up from the side of the pool, I gave him one last smile before running over to the intercom. “Sorry, Mrs. Hawthorn. I was swimming. I will change and meet you in ten minutes.”

  “Don’t dally, Ms. Atwood. I need you to take notes before the thoughts evaporate from my head.”

  I rolled my eyes since she couldn’t see me. “Yes, ma’am.”

  Walking barefoot across the cement, I quietly entered the patio door. I let out a blissful sigh, thinking about the salty pool water. My lips remained swollen from his kisses and my emotions buzzed in a euphoric high. The beginning of something new. Something exciting and sexy yet sweet. Everything with Javier seemed so simple and pure instead of toxic insanity. Maybe that’s why these moments had flowed easily and progressed quickly between us.

  No one had touched me since Cole. And no one had touched me in the last two years except for him, either. I’d lied to the asshole a few times and said I’d cheated just to piss him off. But I’d never be unfaithful to someone. Not even to him. But that’s just how things had worked between us. We’d cycled through on repeat, saying terrible things, hurting each other until we fell into explosive sex followed by a few sweet moments.

  The definition of a fucking toxic relationship. I shook away those thoughts. Cole would not ruin this night for me. As I walked toward my room, I shivered, feeling the cool air-conditioner blowing across my damp skin. I’d left my swimsuit cover-up at the pool.

  “Dammit,” I cursed silently to myself.

  I needed to meet Mrs. Hawthorn as soon as possible. But I didn’t want to leave any of my clothes outside, either. Turning around, I ran quietly back down the hallway and opened the patio door. I jumped across the pavers and rushed out on the cement. But I came to a sudden halt as I heard voices coming from the pool. I tiptoed over behind the lilac bushes. I blended into the darkness as flashes of movement came through the branches.