Breathless (The Breathe Series Book 1)

by Christy Johnson

  I glance down at my wrist gadget, projecting the time from it onto my palm. It was 6:27. I still had more than enough time to run a few more laps so I gather myself together, get back down into position and take off running again.

  I head back to my room at 7 ante meridiem where Mairi is still sound asleep. I creep in with my shoes in hand, lying them down onto the floor. I strip from the sweaty workout gear and head to the bathroom for a shower.

  The water soaks my entire entity. I tilt my head back into the water, letting my hair lounge under the hard-pressured shower head. My mind drifts back to the dream—well, nightmare—I had had this morning about Riley. I close my eyes tighter, begging my brain to let me forget. Please let me forget. Just let me—

  My water proof wrist gadget vibrates, showing I had a call coming through. I pull my head from under the shower head, hating the call for interrupting my simple hope for amnesia. The shower hisses as it glides open and I jump for my see-through glass phone that’s lying on the sink vanity. My wrist gadget was perfect for displaying the time, calls, and messages but it wouldn’t let me answer. I roll my eyes. How dumb is that? At least it’s waterproof though, right?

  “He—hello?” I say, almost allowing the phone to slip through my wet finger tips, pushing back my soaked hair from my forehead and wiping the shower water from my eyes.

  “Hey, Nora.” The voice quiet, almost as if they were too shy to speak.

  “Who—um who is this?” I didn’t know.

  “It’s–” clears throat “Riley.” My heart flutters away from this realm, resulting in me not speaking; I couldn’t build up the courage to. He was someone I used to know. It had been two years since we last spoke. I feel that same unbearable lump tuck itself away into my esophagus and as I try to swallow it down, it only grows. I continue swallowing but I guess it was more mental than physical because it doesn’t go away. “Hello? Are you there?” I run over to shut the shower off.

  “Yes—yes I’m here.” I clear my throat this time hoping it would ease the pressure.

  “How are you?” He gushes out.

  “I’m good. I’m good.” I pause and after a moment of my response, he says nothing. “How—how are you?” I realize that it’s only polite to ask. I close my eyes regretting the conversation already.

  “I’m good too. You know just taking it day by day.” It?

  “It?” I was only supposed to think “it” but instead my mouth displays its betrayal. Nice work, Mouth. I roll my eyes.

  “Yea—I found out that my heart is giving out on me. Crazy, right?” He laughs it off. “I—I will be going in for a transplant soon, you know, when I get moved up on the list.”

  “And what will happen if you don’t get one?” I knew the answer.

  “I would die.” He doesn’t hesitate. The words just flow right out of his mouth like it was easy for him to say. Like it was normal for him to say and I hated him for that, too.

  “I’m sorry, Riley. Is there anything I can do?” I knew that there wasn’t.

  “No, Nor—I mean, Nora.” He relied on nicknames when we were close. I guess habits are hard to let go.

  “It’s okay—Riles.” I try to make him feel better. Smirking to myself, I replay the memories of our first encounter. I hear him smile through the phone. I picture his subtle movements; with his eyes closed, he dips his head down low enough to make himself seem flattered.

  “I’m glad we could talk. I’ve been meaning to tell you this for quite some time now. It’s just been hard.” I could hear the small sniffles he was trying to mask but I couldn’t open my mouth to utter the words, “I’m here for you.” I couldn’t bring myself to my knees and tell him, “I will always care for you, be there for you.” Not after all her had done to me. Silence falls, leaving me uncomfortable, yet, yearning to hear more of his raspy voice.

  “Well, I also wanted to tell you I’m coming to Apalachicola. I applied last week and got a message back today stating that I am accepted in. I will come there later today or maybe early tomorrow to check the place out.”

  “Oh wow.” I say, definitely not because I was happy to hear the news.

  “I’m sorry, was that not good news?”

  “Oh no, no, no, of course it is! Oh my gosh! Congratulations!” I try to sound excited.

  “I was hoping to, um, see you when I come out.” His voice hopeful but I am silent still, “Nora? Hello? You still there?”

  “Um, yeah. I’m here.” I say, looking into the mirror while smoothing my hair back.

  “Well…”

  “Of—of course.” I smile half-heartedly.

  “Okay, great. I look forward to it.”

  “Um, hey, listen it was nice talking to you but I need to get ready for login. Okay?” With Liam, being late was never an option.

  “Oh. Um, okay. I guess we’ll talk later?”

  “Of course,” I hang up without getting a response from him.

  I wrap my towel around my wet body tighter and sling the door open to find Mairi standing there with all of her hygiene things in her hand. I smirk, slipping past her and heading into the bedroom. I find a pair of my flat-front black pants and a white zip-up blazer. I pull on my knee high boots, brush my wet hair up and wrap it around to form a bun at the top of my head. I grab my books and head out to login.

  I continue walking outside of the building, shuffling through my bag to find my wireless earbuds. BAM! I fall backwards, feeling the cold, hard ground. That was my second time today meeting the ground.

  “I am so sorry. Are you okay?” He says with his square face drawn down to me, outlining my entity with his sinister, dark eyes. “Miss?”

  “Um, yea.” I say, rubbing my head, snapping out of my trance.

  “Can I get you something?” Like what?

  “Um, no. No, thank you. I’d just rather get up off of the ground, if that’s okay with you?” I smile.

  He flashes his smile and I melt into the ground. He holds out his hand and I take it, allowing him to pull me to my feet.

  “I’m Devin.” He shakes my hand since he had already had it in the palm of his. I smirk pulling my hand back to me.

  “So you don’t have a name?” He asks sarcastically.

  “Nora.” I smile turning to walk away. I turn back around as I am walking with my books clutched to my chest and I watch him whisper something and I could have sworn it was my name.

  “Nora, care to tell us what ‘Ippon Seoinage’ is? What is it you do with this technique?” Master Liam glares into me. I lift my head, shifting my feet nervously under the table (shifting my feet when I’m nervous was always a force of habit). I close my hand, shutting down the projected screen from my wrist gadget.

  “That’s, uh, a one arm shoulder throw.” I smirk shyly.

  “Good. Care to show?” I look around the room, witnessing all the eyes piercing into me. “Well?” He says, awaiting my response. He couldn’t be serious. “Carter, here. Now!” He screams out. Carter snaps his hand closed, shutting down his projected screen, jolting up to run to the front of the login class.

  “Yes, Master.” He bows to Liam. Oh, he was serious. I slap my forehead. What was up with me today?

  Liam faces Carter, gripping his uniform jacket. Carter grips Liam’s jacket with his opposite hand following with both of them gripping one another’s upper sleeve with their free hand. “Be sure to grip your attacker.” He glances over to me. My cheeks burn. I lower my eyes from him. “Are you watching, Nora?” I nod vivaciously. Why was he on my case today? “Ready?” He asks Carter. Carter gulps, afraid to break his pinky toe but nods, prepared for the pain. Liam steps forward into him, twisting his body so that Carter is now behind him. He pulls Carter’s arm over his shoulder and the rest of his body follows. PAP! Carter smashes into the floor, grunting. He didn’t lie spread across the floor long, he stumbles to his feet, bowing to Liam, and limps back over to his chair next to me.

  “You okay?” I whisper to him. He nods with his lips pressed into a
thin line, trying to mask his expression of hurt.

  “Be prepared for your first part-time training after login tomorrow,” Liam continues, his sallow eyes sarcastically gaping at us, “This is only the beginning.”

  3 Temptation

  I rotate my hips and grind harder onto his groin. I'm clueless as to who I am dancing with but the sense is reverential. I close my eyes and intake every essence of this man as he grips my waist and pulls me in closer to him. I graze my fingers across his face to meet his fuzzy beard, opening my eyes as he spins me around to face him. Veritas is dark, the only thing I can see are his glistening eyes burning into mine and his smooth lips curling to smile at me. I wrap my arms around his neck as he places his lips right onto mine. It happens so fast that I’m not given time to think so I return the favor, puckering up my lips and opening my mouth to feel his tongue dance around in mine. He grips my waist tighter, pulling me closer into him.

  Stop! My brain shouts causing me to snap my eyes open and pull away from him only to see that everyone is eyeing us and dancing simultaneously. Only thing is, I couldn’t stop. I look back into his eyes and dive back into his mouth. The music slows and time dwindles out. The people move slower, ticking with the slowed time.

  I pull back for a breath as he deepens his gaze into mine, trying to sink into my soul through sight but I turn away from him, regretting the soothing touch of his lips, but most of all, my enjoyment of it. “I’m sorry. I have to go.” I turn from him to rush through the crowd, wanting to erase every event with every step I take away from him.

  “Wait!” I hear him call out. “I never got your name!” He rushes in after me and the closer he gets into my proximity, the harder it becomes to forget. I’m not ready for this.

  “I have to go.” I make my way to the door. With my hand on the knob almost turning it to leave when he stops behind me. For a moment, my heart beats faster than usual.

  “Who are you?” My eyes widen as I realize that this planet could stop—Jeshyria could diminish the universe with the familiar love seeping into me now. My heart plunges upward into my throat causing an explosion in my neck with each beat. Who are you? I look over my shoulder to face the only person I have ever loved but my expression darkens when I see an estranged man pulling me away from the door. Red, fire-y hair flickering in the light of Veritas, blue eyes cooling him off and perfect caramel skin but he wasn’t Riley.

  “What’s your name?” He asks again. Hesitation becomes me. “That’s all I want to know. Please?”

  “Nora.” I pull away from him to push open the door, letting myself out into the cold.

  I splash water onto my face to rid it of makeup. With frustration, I smear the makeup all over it. I stare in the mirror at the smudged lipstick and sticky mascara under my eyes. My brown eyes flicker back and forth between the right and left eye as they water with hatred. “Why do I miss you!? And why are you dying!?” I whisper to myself, smashing my face into the cloth towel to sob for him. This isn’t fair.

  I breathe in and out, calming myself. Keep it together, Nora. I wipe the excess makeup away once my emotions settled, slip into my favorite grey pajamas and head to bed. I lie there staring up at the ceiling until I allow myself to slip away to another world.

  *****

  It feels different… loving you. It feels almost like fire never being able to be put out by water because even water holds oxygen fire needs to breathe so I guess we’ll be burning together forever. This love is never ending flames.

  “I love you, Nora.” He takes my hands into his.

  “I–” My voice caught by the aching, burning flames seeping into me. My eyes widen with fear when I look to Riley to observe his face melting. “Riley?” I reach out to touch him, forgetting we were burning together. “Riley!?”

  “And it was all worth it, for you.” He whispers. The jolt we once shared dwindles, shutting my body down.

  “Don’t leave me.” I beg. “Don’t–”

  Gasp! My hair whips up around to the front of my face as I jerk awake. “Not again!” I screech, clasping at my chest.

  Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. My phone vibrates.

  I glance over at Mairi who’s still sleeping, slowing my breathing and noticing the time: 5:43 ante meridiem. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. I peer over to my phone to receive an unknown number calling. Who would call at this time? I reach over to grab it.

  “H—hello?” I clear my throat.

  “Nora?” A female’s voice blurts through the phone.

  “Yes. Who’s this?”

  “Nor, it’s Mehgan, Riley’s sister.” My heart stops.

  “Wh—what’s wrong Mehg?” I ask, not sure if I was even ready to grasp the reasoning for her call.

  “It’s Riles.” She says, not concealing her pity for him.

  I say nothing in hopes she would continue but she doesn’t, so, I do instead. “Mehg, talk to me.”

  “He–” she sniffles. “He isn’t doing too good, Nor.”

  “But how can that be? I talked to him earlier today,” My mind flashes back to him collapsing onto the floor in my dream—him burning alive. Was this all a sign? A warning? Was he going to die now? “What’s wrong with him, Mehg!?” Panic settles in.

  “It’s his heart. It gave out on him earlier today and he’s–”

  “Where is he now?” I cut her off. “What Unit and Care Station?” I jump out of bed running around the room trying to find something to throw on. I snatch up a black dirty t-shirt from the floor, put it on, and slide on jogging pants over my pajama pants.

  “He’s in Unit 6, Care Station 3.” That was at least three hours from here.

  “Okay, I’ll be there by 9 ante meridiem. Keep him alive! You hear me? Please, just keep him alive.” All I could do was beg for the impossible. I knew she couldn’t keep him alive. It wasn’t up to her; it was up to me. I didn’t know what it was but whenever we were around one another, he was never harmed. He was always protected. I needed to get to him. I had to protect him from his self-destruction.

  “I’ll try.” She says not sure of what was next to come. We hang up and I scramble around more to find my shoes buried under Mairi’s dirty laundry. I slip them on, grabbing my jacket and keys and run out the door.

  *****

  I smooth my right hand through my hair. The silkiness of my black hair soothed my spirit. I fluff up my hair—well, I try to at least. There wasn’t much fluffing my hair would do. It was sleek, silky and shiny. When water touches it, it shrivels up but once the water dries, my hair becomes bone straight—I would have to lie down on it first. Without lying on it, I swear it would look more like a lion’s mane.

  I widen my eyes just to stay awake on the road. I could see the sun peeking through the outer crust of Jeshryia. The sky's intertwined with a purplish-pink color and a hint of orange and red in the distance. The air feels damp, and the trees were growing into their full colors, either orange or red. The aroma of the leaves fill the air. With the windows down, I snort in the fresh scent of the outside, comforting my emotion.

  Why are you doing this Nora? My brain taps into play. Aren’t you angry with him? I shake my head, ignoring I was still furious with him—broken by him but I couldn’t deny the inevitable; I was still in love with him. Every inch of him. I loved him beyond everything I hated about him and I couldn’t let him die.

  Tires screech next to me. I look over to see two Travelers to the right side of me, one in front of me and one behind me. The wheels were at least 32 inches high. Their long trails linger behind them causing panic to anyone near them. I switch over to the furthest inner left lane in front someone who is 5 cars behind me.

  HONK! HONK! I catch the horn of the car behind me.

  “Car, be-hind. Car, be-hind. Car, be-hind.” My car alerts me that someone was behind me. Great timing, Oasis. I look into my mirror to spot a man inches away from my bumper. My first instinct was to try speeding up more to appease the angry man behind me. 70 mph. There. I’m not going any faster. I hear his engi
ne reave and as I look into my rear-view mirror again to see him only inches away from me. 75 mph, 80. I couldn’t go any faster. My car beeps to remind me of the speed limit and that I was going way too fast.

  “Car, will, self-destruct. Over, miles. Over, miles.” My car floods my hearing.

  “NO! Please don’t!” I beg the Oasis. “Please, there’s just–” HONK! HONK! I whip my head around just to see him still on my backside. “What is your problem!?”

  I look over to my right to see if the traffic had cleared, but it hadn’t. Travelers were flooding the roads. I try speeding up once more, hoping my car wouldn’t turn on me since I was over the speed limit but am stopped by the grey Crux that’s breaking in front of me to avoid smashing into the Traveler that slides in front of them too late.

  I hear tires screech and am blinded by bright red break lights. There wasn’t much time left for me to think, not much time for me to make a plan. For a moment, all of my problems seemed to be minute, redundant and stupid.

  “I’m so sorry, Riley.” I weep because I understood in this moment, I was going to die.

  4 the death of me

  “Dear You,

  I’ve never wanted to marry anyone else. It never crossed my mind to. I look up at the sky every day and imagine what life would have been like if you were still here with me but now that you’re gone, every day feels different yet, the same. How can something be so contradicting and true? People will forget you. They’ll move on with their lives leaving the memories of you behind but not me. There will never be a day that passes by that I don’t think of you – I need you. I miss you. I still feel your presence and I know that you’ll still be there for me in spirit, telling me that it is okay to move on but it won’t be. How can it be? I’ve never wanted to love someone else. It has never crossed my mind to picture another human being in my heart, my mind, my soul. Why did you have to go? The hardest thing I’ve ever had to encounter is seeing half of myself lying in a casket… And not only that but seeing the better part of me – dead. My biggest fear was always, always losing you.